Inside Brownie's Mind

Or at least his outbox:

Former Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Michael Brown discussed his appearance, his dog and his public image as the government's relief effort unraveled after Hurricane Katrina, based on e-mails released yesterday.

"If you'll look at my lovely FEMA attire you'll really vomit,"' Brown wrote to colleagues the morning of Aug. 29, the day the storm hit the Gulf Coast. "I am a fashion god."'

In an e-mail early on Aug. 29, Brown acknowledged a colleague's compliment about his clothing. "Are you proud of me?'' he wrote. "Can I quit now? Can I go home?'"

Comments

[fyodor]

I'm all for joking around on the job, but....

[Jennifer]

Ditto Fyodor's comment. When a Hit and Run poster feels the need to tell you to quit dicking around and start paying attention to your job. . . .

[smacky]

Bah ha! Good one, Jennifer.

Um.

*cough*

[Steven Crane]

You're doing a heck of a job, fyodor.

[Toxic]

How unfair is it to invade this guys emails to take stuff out of context... Wow, he dared to make a joke when he should have been doing something!

[Jennifer]

I'm just sayin', Smacky. I mean, it's like Hitler telling you you should be more tolerant of minorities--just how fucked up do you have to be to get to that point--where I, Jennifer, the Lady-of-a-Thousand-Workday-Posts, can honestly and non-hypocritically tell someone: Stop screwing around on the Internet and get to work, you schmuck.

It's sad. It's pathetic. It almost qualifies as an auxiliary apocalyptic horseman. I mean, there were actual lives at stake!

[smacky]

Jennifer,

Whoa! I wasn't criticizing you. That *cough* was directed at myself. I really thought your comment was funny. Cause it's true.

[fyodor]

lol!!!

I think we're all doing a heck of a job here, and especially me as my company benefited from the passing of Referendum C here in Colorado!!

But then, I've often said, although not here so much, that I'm a libertarian second and an existentialist first....

I don't think I'd hire me as head of FEMA.

[smacky]

Shit, I wouldn't hire me as head of FEMA.

Head of Femur on the other hand...

[Jennifer]

By the way, Smacky, are you going to Thoreau's get-together next weekend? I am, and after having seen your picture I must say: all joking aside, if you and I got together on Libertarian Girls Gone Wild we would make a goddamned fortune.

[madpad]

How unfair is it to invade this guys emails to take stuff out of context... Wow, he dared to make a joke when he should have been doing something!

Toxic,

It's one thing for someone to nudge off a workday post - or even a thousand - if you're a low-to-mid-level flunky with a moderate (well below six-figure) income and little-to-no-responsibility over high dollar projects or (God forbid) actions where people lives and property calculated in the 100s of billions is at stake.

But when it's MY tax dollars paying YOUR salary and peoples lives are in the balance, then you'd better have your head in the fucking game. And not screwing off and worrying about your clothes.

The guy was an incompetent loser who stands as an icon of the Peter Principle.

[Steven Crane]

There's another get-together? Where? Where?

[Nero]

Does this fiddle make me look fat?

[Nero]

Steven Crane--

Ah-ha! I knew it! Thoreau was a tad concerned about the lack of response and I told him "Chances are it's because people don't know about it."

[Number 6]

By the way, Smacky, are you going to Thoreau's get-together next weekend? I am, and after having seen your picture I must say: all joking aside, if you and I got together on Libertarian Girls Gone Wild we would make a goddamned fortune.

Should I send my credit card number now, or later?

[Jennifer]

Oops. I forgot to change my name back from "Nero." And now I have to wait several dozen seconds before posting, so I don't get that annoying "Comment Submission Error" page.

Wait wait wait. . . .

By the way, Brownie really needed to stop screwing around on the Internet and get back to work. . .I feel no hypocrisy in saying this because nobody is in danger due to my inactions. . .

[Phil]

Wait, wait . . . where are these pictures of smacky, again?

[Jennifer]

They weren't posted, Phil. Only members of the In Crowd, like me, got to see them. Nyaah nyaah nyaah.

[panurge]

Forget his attire, the guy needs an entire face lift. He looks like the actor who played the child molester in "Happiness."

[smacky]

By the way, Smacky, are you going to Thoreau's get-together next weekend? I am, and after having seen your picture I must say: all joking aside, if you and I got together on Libertarian Girls Gone Wild we would make a goddamned fortune.

Aww, that's sweet of you to say, Jennifer. I bet we would.
Initially, I wasn't planning on going. BUT (and this is a big but -- much like mine), I did get myself a new car this weekend, so I can no longer use lack of reliable transportation as an excuse for not attending.
Is it already coming up next weekend? I thought the gathering was the weekend after that. Nope, your right, my email says the 12th. Huh.
The hamster wheel in my head is spinning.

[Phil]

Also, I am in all likelihood going next weekend, even though I HATE HATE HATE driving into Maryland because everyone there is an idiot*. At least when they're behind the wheel.

*No chauvinism implied here; everyone in NoVa is an idiot, too, behind the wheel. It's just that the stretch of the Beltway between the American Legion bridge and the 95 merge is like a special level of hell.

[smacky]

Nope, your right,

Ugh! I meant you're. Illiterate heel that I am.

[Phil]

He looks like the actor who played the child molester in "Happiness."

Hey! It's That Guy!

[Jennifer]

It'll be fun, Smacky. DC is cool to visit as a tourist anyway, so you've got the whole two-birds-with-one-stone thing going on.

I mean, if the get-together were someplace like Delaware I might have qualms. But DC's pretty cool. Hell, some of us were thinking of regulating some interstate commerce and doing the classic tourist itinerary next day.

[TallDave]

I'm still baffled as to why everyone blames FEMA rather than state and local authorities.

[dave_b]

Does it really matter? As a refugee, I'd have to say that this is a day late and a dollar short. It's no big secret that the guy is incompetent, but if no one's going to ring him up on criminal charges instead of hiring him as a consultant, then why even bring it up? Or is it a surprise to some people that this kind of thing happens every single day at every government agency? Sometimes I wish that the electronic records of Congress would be laid bare just for a minute so the rest of us plebs could see what really goes on behind the scenes in terms of sheer ignorance and what laws were deemed too draconian even for them. I'm betting on some real gems from Sensenbrenner and Santorum.

[smacky]

I hope none of you just gave away a spoiler for Happiness. I clicked on the Hey!It's That Guy! link and averted my eyes only after reading a sentence about his role in Happiness. I bought that movie a few months ago and still have to watch it.

Jennifer,

I really like touring D.C. I love the subway system there. I am going to look into a possible trip down there that weekend, for sure.

[dave_b]

I'm still baffled as to why everyone blames FEMA rather than state and local authorities.

I have plenty of outrage left for them too.

[Phil]

I think the statute of limitations on spoilers is only a year. Besides, the movie doesn't pull any punches, not even early on, so it's hardly something secret.

(PS: It's a sled. And she's a guy. 😛 )

[Jennifer]

I found Dr. T's e-mail and here's an excerpt, since the doctor himself is apparently busy and can't post here right now:

Jeff (Mr. Nice Guy) and I have considered the very limited feedback that we got. We have decided to have it at the Rock Bottom Restaurant and Brewery in Bethesda. Bethesda is just outside DC, the restaurant is close to a Metro Stop as well as abundant parking, and the place is a nice, casual bar and restaurant. Only problem: Just like at the NYC gathering, you'll have to smoke outside.

The address of the restaurant is: 7900 Norfolk Avenue, Bethesda, MD 20814

The web site is: http://www.rockbottombethesda.com.

We'll be there at 6:30, come on in whenever you can. Once I have a head count I'll see about reserving a table.>

[joe]

TallDave,

There is plenty of outrage to go around. But five days after the storm hit, it wasn't the state or locals' jobs to airlift tons of food and water to the starving in the Convention Center. They aren't capable of such a thing. Only FEMA is. And FEMA didn't get the job done.

[Steven Crane]

Since the discussion has shifted a bit to get-togethers... isn't it about time for another Chicago-area shindig? I can think of a number of quality North Side watering holes/eateries to patronize (and possibly watch a Bears game at). Also, might as well get another few in before the City Council passes a smoking ban...

[Timothy]

Apparently Reason gatherings hate Texas...can't say as I blame them.

[TallDave]

it wasn't the state or locals' jobs to airlift tons of food and water to the starving in the Convention Center.

Yes, actually it was their job to deliver that. Unfortunately, the local police were looting or deserting, and the state was telling the Red Cross NOT to deliver food and water on the grounds it would encourage people to stay.

FEMA's job is basically to write checks and coordinate with state and local resources. They aren't some kind of relief army.

[TallDave]

What's really scary is that because of all the misguided criticism, people are now trying to make FEMA a relief army, and essentially throw out posse comitatus and state and local control over disaster response.

Be careful what you ask for, cause you might get it.

[smacky]

Steven Crane,

I'll actually be in Chicago for Thanksgiving weekend. Maybe "Reason: the Gathering II" then?

Timothy,

Perhaps Reason gatherings hate Texas, but I luuurve me some Texas! Remember the Alamo.

[dave_b]

FEMA's job is basically to write checks and coordinate with state and local resources. They aren't some kind of relief army.

That's all fine, but then don't get in the goddamn way when the relief army arrives. There's numerous stories of FEMA turning away help and resources from citizens willing to assist. FEMA turned away hundreds of airboats from Florida and the Gulf South until they approved their paperwork. They stopped independent doctors from operating at makeshift hospitals for fear of litigation, even after both parties agreed to sign waivers. There are enough stories of private citizens from around the country who came to the area with busses, food, transportation, medication, and other aid and were all stopped by the Feds so they could verify documentation and whatever other nonsense protocol bullshit that they could come up with. I know what FEMA's actual purpose is, but when real citizens who aren't concerned with what they have on are coming to risk their lives to help their fellow citizens in need, then either get on the ball or get the fuck out of the way.

[Steven Crane]

smacky: excellent idea.

If I was a bigger nerd, and had photoshop skillz, I'd make Magic: The Gathering cards for regular posters.

[dhex]

"Libertarian Girls Gone Wild"

order this 7 minute tape right now!

[Apostate Jew]

The photos are here.

http://www.sfsmith.com/blog/archives/2005_10.html

Unless they're faked.

And, no, I am not the blogger and Jennifer still can't join the club.

[AnonCowherd]

Pick a spot in Texas and I'll be there (preferably in the heart o' Texas area).

[mk]

It makes perfect sense that a discussion of an incompetent political appointee would devolve into a discussion of a DC area get-together.

Smacky, you and I can hang out outside and smoke. It will be like high school again except we have more money and our own vehicles.

[biologist]

smacky is quite the attractive lass, I must say

[Mr. Nice Guy]

You ain't kidding, biologist. And pictures don't do half the justice.

All of the women here are beautiful and intelligent.. all three of them (grrrrrrrr)..

[poco]

Kwais is a handsome man, too.

[Steven Crane]

There are more than three... we still have seen no photographic evidence of Serafina.

Any chance we can get any of the Liberty Belles to become regular commenters?

[Timothy]

smacky,

How can I forget the Alamo, I work five blocks from the goddamn thing. Personally, I wonder why the German immigrants ever thought taking this place from the Spaniards was a good idea. Their insolence spawned Tejano music, a crime which can never be forgiven.

[smacky]

Timothy,

San Antonio rules!

Steven Crane,

You're a sellout. But I still want us to be friends.
I bet Serafina is very attractive, judging by what I've read in her posts.

biologist and Mr. Nice Guy,

Thanks for the compliments! *beaming*

mk,

Presuming my sinus infection is gone by then...

[Steven Crane]

Where did I sell out?! I am merely pointing out there are, surprisingly, more than three females that post at H&R. Mona doesn't count.

Perhaps we need to discuss this while cruising around in YOUR NEW BLACK WALNUT PEARL CAR.

[smacky]

Steven Crane,

There's nothing wrong with admiring other Hit and Run chicks. It was the Liberty Belles comment that got my panties in a bunch. You're forgetting the commandment, "Thou Shalt Not Covet Non-Reasonoid Libertarian Bloggettes".

[smacky]

It's the brand loyalty, stupid. 🙂

[Steven Crane]

Yes, but once we have them here, then they ARE Reasonoid Libertarian Bloggettes.

We co-opt them, you see.

But the original Reasonoid Libertarian Bloggettes are of course first in our hearts.

[Timothy]

San Antonio rules something, all right, my speculation is the little-known 10th circle of hell.

[Jennifer]

I am not the blogger and Jennifer still can't join the club.

This, Apostate, explains why your people have been so historically unpopular--the AV Club of humanity, if you will.

[Apostate Jew]

I'm just wondering why someone else didn't find the pictures first?

We Zionist apostates are better known for being good with guns, not google.

[Jennifer]

I didn't find the pictures, Apostate; they were given to me. In other words, I didn't earn them in a meritocratic fashion, but instead took advantage of connections to get things I don't necessarily deserve. Which is, of course, yet another example of how I'd be totally perfect to join the secret Jewish run-the-world conspiracy, if you'd just lighten the fuck up and let me in your club!!

[Steven Crane]

Jennifer, I'm totally Jewish. Promise.

I'll let you into the club.

[smacky]

Steven Crane,

That's right -- don't you have a shirt that says "Nice Jewish Boy" or something along those lines?

[Jennifer]

Thank you, Steven. I assume "Crane" is short for "Kranowitz," hmmm?

See, Apostate? Shiksabelle doesn't need you anyway.

[thoreau]

OK, first, this publicly funded scientist was busy all day. Just felt like saying that in a thread about Mike Brown's email habits.

Second, in regard to the gathering, I'd like to thank Jennifer for plugging it in this thread. For the purpose of reserving some space, it would be good if those who haven't RSVPed to me write to me. The email address listed here is real, if you take out the part about spam. Also, if anybody is interested in getting together during the day to go to a shooting range, let me know. Sooner rather than later.

[PogueMahone]

This has nothing to do with this particular post. It?s just that I?ve had a couple of cocktails and I?m feeling a bit,
?I luv you, Man.?

I read left-wing and right-wing blogs and I find myself coming back to reason magazine. And I have to say, reason is the perfect name for you guys.
REASON
REASON
REASON
Be reasonable, people.

Keep up the good work.
Thanx.

[Jason Sonenshein]

DC is cool to visit as a tourist anyway, so you've got the whole two-birds-with-one-stone thing going on.

I mean, if the get-together were someplace like Delaware I might have qualms. But DC's pretty cool.

If I go, I'd like to stop in Gettysburg on the way, so that I can walk around the battlefield and imagine what it would have been like to serve in the 20th Maine. (:

[Apostate Jew]

Comrade Kranowitz can say he'll let you into the club, but I don't think the rabbinate will agree.

Of course, once your in, you can never resign ... trust me on that one.

[Jennifer]

Comrade Kranowitz can say he'll let you into the club, but I don't think the rabbinate will agree.

Shiksabelle can be very persuasive.

[Steven Crane]

I need persuasion!

Do I ever.

[Jennifer]

Steven--

I'll get right to it, just as soon as I finish my ham-and-milk-gravy breakfast.

[Steven Crane]

How very....southern.

Do you have scattered, smothered, and covered hash browns as well?

[Jennifer]

That depends, Steven. Is "hash browns" code for some sex thing? Because in that case, probably.

[Steven Crane]

No, sometimes hash browns is just hash browns, as Col. Bluford J. Freud once said.

[Jennifer]

Well, Steven, where's the fun in that?

[Steven Crane]

It's still early in the morning! My capacity for vague innuendo isn't at its peak yet. I'm sure Herr Darkly could do better.

Good thing I'm younger and better looking. 😉

[Jennifer]

Good thing I've read Portnoy's Complaint.

[Steven Crane]

I, alas, have not.

Perhaps you need to educate me.

[Jennifer]

Steven--

So long as that'll let me join the secret Jewish run-the-world cabal, you're on.

[Hakluyt]

Steven Crane,

We eat grits in the South, not hashbrowns.

[Steven Crane]

Your membership card and souvenir dreidel are in the mail.

[Steven Crane]

Hakluyt,

I suggest you patronize a Waffle House before you embarrass yourself further.

[mediageek]

There is only one reason for eating at Waffle House:

It's 2am and you're fucking smashed.

In which case, Scattered, Smothered, Covered, and you may as well have them drizzle waffle batter on top of it, too.

[Crushinator]

Smacky,

You are one fine looking little lady. If we set up and H&R bull session in Texas, will you drive your new auto to visit us?

Oh, I forgot the main subject of this thread. Fuck Mike Brown and the horse he rode in on.

[Jennifer]

Steven Crane--

Serious request, all Shiksa-sex-jokes aside: could you drop either me or Thoreau an e-mail if you have the chance? My address is real, as is Thoreau's if you take out the "no spam" part.

[thoreau]

The address wasn't real in most of this thread. I only post the real one here and there. Now it's real.

[Apostate Jew]

Comrade Kranowitz, you are selling out. Ms. Jennifer, please stop trying to break our phalanx of orthodoxy. Next thing you know, there'll be Jews for Jesus ...

(Pay no attention to the fact that my wife is a lapsed Catholic. At least we know we'll spend eternity together - in Hell.)