The Stepford Whores

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The year of puppet sex may be over, but the puppet-lovin' subculture survives. Writing in Salon, Meghan Laslocky visits the world of $6500 sex dolls.

[via bOING bOING]

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  1. Go ahead. Flinch at the notion of a man having sex with an imitation woman and classify him: Lonely loser. Pathological creep. Misogynist. Potential rapist. Sicko.

    Done and done! Swabbing it out afterward must do wonders for one’s self esteem. Unless you have hooks instead of hands, there’s no really no excuse to fuck one of those things.

  2. Man, get with the times. Real Dolls have been around for years. HBO’s Real Sex did a story bit on these things a while ago.

    My “favorite” is the Anna Mae doll. Big eyes, green hair, impossibly large hoohaas, just like those girls in the tentacle porn.

    (That’s “favorite” as in “I’m most disturbed by”.)

  3. Why buy the cow when you can get the fleshlight for cheap?

  4. This is the part of the show where everyone pretends they don’t know what Ruthless is talking about.

    The commercial for that thing is probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

  5. “This is the part of the show where everyone pretends they don’t know what Ruthless is talking about.”
    You’ve insulted everybody, Rich Ard.
    If we know carpet-humping, we know fleshlight humping. One thing this group is is in the know.

  6. Point taken – sorry, everyone, that I suggested any of you might pretend not to be familiar with all sorts of fake vaginas.

  7. “The commercial for that thing is probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.”

    the commercial?

    commercial?

    what?

  8. Rich Ard,
    Except for dhex…

  9. ROFL! I’ve been following the RealDoll saga for a while now. But I never REALLY got the hilarity of it until I saw the photo of this guy playing video games with his doll!!

  10. Ugh. The realdoll in the picture on that first guy’s website is disturbingly attractive, in a vapid kind of way. I’m glad all the rest of the realdolls in the linked photos in that article are wretched looking.

  11. Oh, you all laugh, but we’ve already gotten married.

  12. I never REALLY got the hilarity of it until I saw the photo of this guy playing video games with his doll!

    There was a mildly funny Calvin and Hobbes parody a few years back that imagined Calvin all grown up. Hobbes had been replaced.

  13. Oh, you all laugh, but we’ve already gotten married.

    Nice one! Except Mr. Universe was effectual at least in one thing.

  14. Why is it that the thought of a guy having sex with a Real Doll makes me go, “Ehh, whatever makes ya happy, man” but the thought of a guy playing video games with his Real Doll makes me think, “Jeez, that’s just pathetic.”

  15. Well, it does put carpet-humping guy in perspective – $6500 for realistic doll, $15 for carpet cleaner… hmm.

  16. Man, that’s sad. Also: $6,500!

    Admittedly, if they were $200 or less I might get one for prank purposes … but ever since I saw a set of disembodied plastic female genitalia for the first time (in a place called LIVE NUDES LIVE or something like that on Century Boulevard in L.A.) I am creeped out at the thought of “doing” anything with them. The plastic ones, I mean.

    By the way, I don’t know what a “fleshlight” is, and I am afraid to Google that term where I am right now.

  17. Somebody wanting a dog done up as a doll to protect his purebreds is weird. Wouldn’t a mutt from the pound be cheaper?

  18. The fleshlight is synthetic vagina built into the handle of a mag-lite style flashlight. Proudly, I have no idea what it’s actually made of.

    What are the odds that these guys sound like Comic Book Guy on the Simpsons when they talk? No need for “Organic” women? I thought I’d heard everything.

  19. “When was the last time you saw a naked 18-year-old girl straddling her naked mother in a pillow fight?”

    Sounds like an H&R poll question to me…

  20. The fleshlight is synthetic vagina built into the handle of a mag-lite style flashlight.

    “When was the last time you saw a naked 18-year-old girl straddling her naked mother in a pillow fight?”

    That’s it! Cancel my subscription!

    🙂

  21. By the way, I don’t know what a “fleshlight” is, and I am afraid… (elipses mine)

    Be afraid. Be very afraid.

  22. At least RealDoll knows how to KEEP her GODDAMNED mouth SHUT-
    I’m sorry baby, you know how I get when I post…

  23. (That’s “favorite” as in “I’m most disturbed by”.)

    Did I ever tell you guys that Stevo Darkly is my favorite poster?

    …kidding! 🙂

    Actually, Gary Gunnels is my favorite. [wink]

  24. The realdoll in the picture on that first guy’s website is disturbingly attractive, in a vapid kind of way. I’m glad all the rest of the realdolls in the linked photos in that article are wretched looking.

    Where are all of these pictures? Which link? I can’t seem to find the whole article…and I only saw the video game picture. Also, are the other pictures safe for work?

    Curiousity aside, I think the first comment by David was pretty dead on.

  25. Samcky,

    There’s a gallery link somewhere on that page. Don’t get upset when you see the guy from cleveland dressing his doll with glasses and a Skinny Puppy t-shirt.:)

  26. smacky,

    Look out! I just finished the whole article. It’s long, very well done, and very in-depth. It may make you really wonder about men for a while though. 🙂

  27. This link should work.
    http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2005/10/11/real_dolls/dolls.html

    and this is the personal webpage for the doll of the first guy they interviewed. I can’t believe I just wrote that.

    http://www.kuroneko-chan.com

    That Davecat is one weird guy.

  28. Is there a way to prevent the women from talking with each other through this thread? I sense trouble brewing.

  29. Hey, the realdoll site has pictures of samples, including a bald blue “woman” with vulcan ears!

    Be still, my beating heart!

  30. Can’t these guys just get laid at furry conventions like normal zeta males?

  31. *shudder* The doll factory is super creepy looking.

    I think the owner of the doll Ginger Brooke (seated on the couch) is one of my ex-boyfriends.

  32. What’s a furry convention? Do I want to know? Does it have something to do with Tribbles? Then I don’t want to know…

  33. David,

    Were you joking about the Skinny Puppy t-shirt? Was there a dude from Cleveland interviewed for real? (Not that I would be surprised.) My joke detector is feeble today.

    Ruthless,

    You sensed right.

    linguist,

    I’ll have to read the full article later. Maybe this article is appropriate seeing as Halloween is coming soon and it will likely give me a big scare.

    That one doll can’t even keep her makeup on straight. What a mess she is.

    *snigger*

    mk,

    zeta males

    *snark*

    More like omega males, I would say. Or psi males.

  34. Does it have something to do with Tribbles?
    Well it could. Plushies and Furries do tend to be one and the same, or at least hang out together.

    Anyway, I’m going to listen to Roxy Music’s In Every Dream Home, A heartache in honor of this fine bit of reporting.

  35. Smacky,

    Unfortunately, I was joking about the Skinny Puppy T.

    A furry convention is when people whose fetish is dressing up in animal costumes get together for a, lacking a better term, clusterfuck.:) This like knowing about the Fleshlight isnot from personal experience

    Wow, that’s two things today that that I wish I didn’t know!

  36. David, methinks thou dost protest too much… 🙂

  37. Anyway, I’m going to listen to Roxy Music’s In Every Dream Home, A heartache in honor of this fine bit of reporting.

    I love that song!

  38. It’s just between watching CSI, Law and Order: SVU and occasional internet porn, you learn all sorts of things you’d rather not know.

  39. There’s a gallery link somewhere on that page. Don’t get upset when you see the guy from cleveland dressing his doll with glasses and a Skinny Puppy t-shirt.:)

    Drew Carey? (Who, I hear actually is into these things…)

  40. David,
    When will you be hosting an H&R get-together?

  41. So, would a furry mount his fleshlight inside a stuffed dachshund?

    If there really is a fleshlight commercial then I would like to see it.

  42. Ruthless, maybe when the ratio of men to women is better than 15 to 1. You won’t be able to break out your big bad wolf costume until then.:)

    Of course, we could change the standard to allow “inorganic” women to balance things out but I don’t know if i could prevent myself from putting the poor bastard drilling a real doll in a panda outfit out of his misery.

  43. Is there a way to prevent the women from talking with each other through this thread? I sense trouble brewing.

    Hey now, Ruthless. Just cuz smacky and I modeled for the RealDolls doesn’t mean you can just shove us in a closet and make us be quiet!

  44. Yeah! You tell him, linguist.

  45. The dolls are kinda like sausage – they don’t look half-bad until you see how they’re made… the “meat locker” picture was pretty damn creepy, and I’d already seen it (nerve.com had an article about realdolls a couple of years – though *their* intrepid reporter “went all the way” in the cause of journalism. I might add that nerve is the same site that acquainted me with smurf porn.)

  46. These things made a great appearence on the Howard Stern Show. Truly hilarious.

  47. I believe Howard Stern recorded himself doing a RealDoll live on the air once.

  48. Just cuz smacky and I modeled for the RealDolls doesn’t mean you can just shove us in a closet and make us be quiet!

    For a while now I’ve teetered on the brink of saying, “That’s somehow kind of hot.”

    And I can’t figure out why. “Chicks in closets” isn’t one of my fetishes, as far as I know.

    Maybe it’s just because it sounds vaguely freaky-hot and a chick said it.

    Or maybe I have some kind of deeply repressed Anne Frank fetish.

  49. Or maybe you need to get your bone smooched.

  50. This article was nutty. But the paragraph near the end about the burn victim who uses these dolls to replace the female intimacy he doesn’t expect he’ll ever enjoy again was about as heartbreaking a thing I’ve read in a while. And Jesus, that sentence was long.

    – Josh

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