The Perils of Cross-Party Dating

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Ever wonder just what sort of drugs-and-booze combinatorials allow Mary Matalin and James Carville to stand each other for five minutes? (For that matter, ever wonder what sort of drugs-and-booze cominatorials would allow the rest of America to stand either of them for five minutes?).

If you have and are in the DC area, then check out this America's Future Foundation roundtable next Wednesday:

Cross-Party Dating: The Pick-ups, Perils, and Pitfalls
Featuring Raul Damas, political affairs at the White House and a Cuban Republican from Miami who recently married a liberal from NY; John Hlinko, founder of online dating portal, Act for Love, which pairs politically active couples; and Amanda Carpenter, a young staffer with Eagle Forum.

Wednesday, October 12, at the Fund for American Studies, 1706 New Hampshire Ave, NW.

Drinks and appetizers at 6:30PM, panel starts at 7PM.

Moderating–immoderating?–the panel will be Reason's doctor of love, Julian "Kinsey" Sanchez.

NEXT: Because Poor Cristian Guzman Needs a Home

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  1. Bummer. I’m going to be in DC the night after that.

  2. I’ll date you, smacky, cross-party or otherwise.

  3. The whole “party” concept is simplistic and, IMHO, irrelevant. You need to find out someone’s principles before you date them (or befriend them), superficial political labels be damned. There are self-described “liberals” that share many more principles with me than so called “libertarians,” ergo I’d be more likely to develop a relationship with the “liberal.”

    BTW, Tim, the server’s f**ked up

  4. Just don’t do it. My experience has been that you shouldn’t try to get in any way serious with someone you know for a fact believes that people just like you need to be locked up and really believes that you want to see children starve.

    Politics is as fundamental as anything.

  5. Well, you can still catch…
    Friday: Architecture in Helsinki @ Black Cat
    Saturday: Metric @ 9:30 Club

  6. 90% of the staffers and Hill people in this town are fakes anyway. If you waved a hundred dollar bill at them they’d change jobs — and their rhetoric — on a dime. Who has had time to develop a carefully constructed latticework of beliefs, grounded firmly in unshakable core principles, by the time “gotta get a job” comes around? Exactly. Just pick whichever party’s hiring today and git ta’ whorin!

    There is actually a fresh crop of True Believers who come into town every year, but not too many. Just enough to help keep the hacks up to date on what The Constituents are saying back home in the Sticks. Cross party dating in this town shouldn’t be any problem at all.

    Now, dating outside the political class (or if you’re outside, dating someone on the inside), THERE’S your pitfall-laden relationship.

    As far as Dem/Rep, those labels’ll come off faster than your intern’s panties around here.

  7. I’m still reeling from the news that there are DC staffers who will perform sexual favors for toaster ovens.

    I have a toaster oven, now I just need a pop tart.

  8. As if the Democrats and Republicans were different parties.

  9. cross class or cross religion dating is probably bit worse, unless you’re dating someone whose moonbat politics are more seriously entrenched than their sense of humor.

    that’s a problem right there. usually cause it makes the sex stupid fun as well.

    not as much fun as telling some poor catholic girl to “let jesus fuck you,” etc.

  10. Well, you can still catch…
    Friday: Architecture in Helsinki @ Black Cat
    Saturday: Metric @ 9:30 Club

    Ahbabababa*, Julian – Metric and Architecture in Helsinki are playing in DC this weekend. I know because (besides the fact that I already checked both clubs’ web sites), Metric is playing in Cleveland next weekend, unfortunately when I will be in DC. Bad timing for me! (Luckily, I’ve already seen them before.) Plus, Pretendo is playing at the Velvet Lounge in DC on Friday the 14th, which I’ll probably be going to (featuring members of Skeleton Key, Enon, Mono Puff, Morricone Youth, Creedle, and The DaoSon For). Incidentally, the same evening as the mini-Reasonoid gathering! (Not the gathering for mini Reasonoids, but a mini-gathering for normal-sized Reasonoids).

    *not actually a word.

  11. is architecture in helsinki any good? i’ve heard them mentioned in the same breath as akron family, who are, in case you don’t know, really fucking super duper good.

  12. i think it’s partly a question of intelligence. for instance, it’s easy to date someone who’s a hardcore conservative because of well thought out reasons; you have a few arguments, realize you disagree, agree to leave politics mostly alone and that’s that. it’s not so easy to date someone who’s conservative because that’s how they were raised, and you’re wrong, dammit.

  13. dhex,

    I’ve seen akron family, and yes, I agree verbatim that they are “really fucking super duper good”. I haven’t seen Architecture in Helsinki live yet. I’ve heard a couple of their tracks before…they sound like kind of spacey, shoegazer majestic indie rock, if my memory serves me correctly.

  14. Steven Crane,

    Is somebody paying you to boost my ego? (Nice gig you got there, if that’s the case.) I’m glad Reason doesn’t actually have a PHP-based bulletin board, or else I’d have to post a blushing smiley face. 🙂

  15. thanks dear smackster, to soulseek i shall go hey ho hey ho.

    “it’s not so easy to date someone who’s conservative because that’s how they were raised, and you’re wrong, dammit.”

    it is if you figure out the right time to whisper “the sow is mine” in their ear.

  16. D’oh, right! I was probably just trying to blot out the pain of not having scored New Pornographers tix for THAT Saturday, though Fiery Furnaces are a pretty good consolation prize.

  17. though Fiery Furnaces are a pretty good consolation prize.

    I’m jealous! I have to go to a wedding reception instead that night. I have never seen them live before, but I want to. If you see a shnockered-drunk girl in formal attire at the Fiery Furnaces show, know that I probably escaped from the reception…

  18. “Shnockered-drunk girl in formal attire”

    I’d pay a hefty cover charge for a band with that name.

  19. I am now officialy old. I will cry myself to sleep tonight listening to Traffic. The band, not the urban sounds.

  20. I can’t find it online, but I vaguely recall The Onion had a news story several years ago with a headline that said something like “Area College Student Beds Coed By Telling Her He’s a Classical Liberal”

    Freakin’ genius.

  21. Dhex-worse than S&M. Ayn Rand. I think we both recovered, though.

  22. Don’t get me wrong. People change and many people don’t think enough about the labels they slap on themselves. My wife and I have both changed over the years. She’s become less socially conservative and I’ve sort of drifted around in the realms of right libertarianism.

    Fundamentals is fundamentals, though. Your big issues can’t be in opposition if happiness and peace are to prevail in the long run.

  23. Stormy Dragon-They become a cantankerous curmudgeon long before they’re old enough to pull it off well. At least, that’s what happened to me.

  24. Stormy, if you come up with a name, let me know, eh?

  25. I’m still trying to figure out what a Libertarian (like me) becomes when they realize their political philosophy is a lost cause.

    A burnt out, cynical misanthrope like me. 🙂

    I’ve gotten so mean I have to hold a gun on myself when I shave in the morning to make sure I don’t cut my own throat.

  26. well i for one don’t think everyone is at some level susceptible to reason. i think a lot of them (us) are just stupid, and they ought to be allowed to be stupid and leave me alone to be only mostly stupid.

  27. I am now officialy old. I will cry myself to sleep tonight listening to Traffic. The band, not the urban sounds.

    Now wait a second, I’m confused. The prevailing youth culture told me that old people are supposed to walk into oncoming traffic, preferably rush-hour (as it’s quicker and more painful), not listen to it.

    Little help from the peanu– er, raisin gallery?

    (I’m sure I’m going to age very badly for posting this comment, aren’t I…I’m just kidding, FWIW.) 🙂

  28. The problem is that we don’t live in ‘ought’, we live in ‘is’. And in ‘is’, the stupid 1.) have no intention of leaving us alone, and 2.) so massively outnumber us that we have no way of making them.

  29. Hey, I just heard about an MRI study done at the University of Minnesota (I think it was there) that took 2500 MRI images of 17 newly-in-love students’ brains and found that the fMRI brain activity of the “in-love” people was in a completely different area of the brain than people who were merely excited or affectionate about someone. So all you gotta do is scan these cross-partisan lovers’ brains to see if they’re really in love or merely trying to get their bones smooched.
    Good news: you can cancel the lecture and discussion!

  30. I was probably just trying to blot out the pain of not having scored New Pornographers tix for THAT Saturday, though Fiery Furnaces are a pretty good consolation prize.

    You and me both, and only because one of my friends putzed around trying to decide whether to go or not. Grrrrrrrrrr. Stupid friends.

  31. I hope love blooms in copious amounts down there in the fever swamp, all you DC politicos really do deserve each other.

  32. worse than S&M. Ayn Rand. I think we both recovered, though.

    Ewwwww. I’m pretty permissive, but that’s just disgusting.;)

  33. A person’s politics are all about their personality, people with sufficient verbal aptitude can talk themselves into anything. So it follows that it’s tough to get along with someone who’s personality leads them into substantially different political views.

    I’ve talked a few people into the JDM zone of American-conservative-libertarianism, including my wife, but never from farther left than standard college kid leftism. I can’t say I’ve ever managed to move anyone away from being further right than I am, though they’re always good for a laugh, so I can’t say I’ve tried as hard.

  34. “Good news: you can cancel the lecture and discussion!”

    Thanks a lot, smacky. I was gonna go to the lecture to mac on the chickies.

    /not really

  35. I think Jason Ligon hit the nail on the head right at the start: politics – if you take it in a broad, serious sense – is incredibly important. Would you marry someone who thought you were not only going to hell, but happy about going to hell and wanted other people to go there too? I hate discussing the specifics of politics with my mother, who’s from a sort of 1960’s leftist tradition, although too wishy-washy about it to actually ever do much, because she always acts horrified at my ideas. Remember the Vice Fund that got mentioned here a few days ago? Everyone at work thought it was hilarious even though they generally identify with the left; my mother was just horrified. You get tired of having to avoid large areas of life because of somebody else’s reaction.

    My girlfriend actually used to intern for Chuck Schumer (boo, hiss) but she’s actually quite reasonable. She has nothing but distaste for politicians in general, which is at least half of all anybody needs to have, if you ask me. I think it helps that she’s in a field where she’s surrounded by conservatives. If she were surrounded by very sincere Mother Jones types… Back in college, I briefly dated a girl who was a philosophy major and president of the Conservative Society, which was fun. Let’s just say she was no social conservative and leave it at that!

    Oh, and I can’t imagine how anyone could spend thirty seconds with James Carville and not want to punch him in the nose, regardless of party.

  36. “My girlfriend actually used to intern for Chuck Schumer (boo, hiss) but she’s actually quite reasonable.”

    Well, I suppose someone has to make photocopies, fetch coffee, and wax his pointed tail…

  37. I (a pro-life libertarian) dated a Jewish “liberal-by-birth” once. It worked out reasonably well–we had far more problems from her crazy parents than from politics. But next time I hope to date someone more conservative. Or at least more willing to listen to me rant 🙂

  38. I gave up looking. It doesn’t matter if she is Republican or Democrat, she can’t stand me.

  39. Libertarians can’t really be misanthropes; they’re too optimistic. They think most everyone is, at some level, suceptible to reason and if they just come up with the right argument, most of the population will come around to their way of seeing things.

    That’s one way of looking at it–be a libertarian because you have a high opinion of people and think they’ll be fine if left to their own devices. I take the opposite view–I have a low opinion of people, so I figure the less people with any real power, the less chance of evil fuckers using said power to oppress people who just want to be left alone.

  40. Ayn Rand was a misanthrope. Far more misanthropic than I could ever dream of being.

  41. Jennifer,

    I think it works both ways. As I’m sure you’ve heard before, “if people are basically good, you don’t need a govt; if they are basically evil, you dare not have one.”

    And if cross-party dating is as perilous as it seems, perhaps your suggestion to wear deodorant for the H&R get-togethers was a piece of wisdom…

  42. “I take the opposite view–I have a low opinion of people, so I figure the less people with any real power, the less chance of evil fuckers using said power to oppress people who just want to be left alone.” – Jennifer

    Exactly. Here’s something we totally agree on!

  43. Sorry, that’s the second time it’s posted me as “r” instead of “rob.”

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