Promise Ring Probation

Get high in Texas, get forced into abstinence:

A state district judge has ordered a 17-year-old drug offender barred from sex as a condition of her probation. Judge Lauri Blake made the ruling that bars the girl from having sex as long as she is living with her parents and attending school.

That seems like a super reason to quit school and/or move in with a boyfriend. On the upside, treating celibacy as a punishment for drug use should annoy abstinence-only types. And this tip from the ACLU seems unhelpful for a variety of reasons, particularly given the case at hand:

Steve Blackburn, a lawyer involved with the Dallas chapter of the Arizona Civil Liberties Union, said defendants who don't like their probation conditions can reject them and go to jail.

Comments

[zach]

we don't want those druggies reproducing.

[April]

Um...that's creative. Or something.

[Ruthless]

The reason government types become government types in the first place is because they can't limit their urge to parent to their own offspring.

[mike]

Could the judge do the samething if she was an adult?

[thoreau]

I thought abstinence was supposed to be a wonderful, empowering thing that we do because God taught us to.

Now it's a punishment? Geez, get it straight, folks.

Fortunately, if a person goes to jail, there's zero chance of sexual encounters. Cuz, you know, they have those places under control.

[fcnolan]

But in Texas, the age of sexual consent is 17.

[joe]

He could have gotten around this by making the condition "You shall not violate your parents rules about sex."

[Ted]

That is fucking outrageous. Get it?

[Lowdog]

Is she cute? She could come live with me. 😉

[John]

We don't want druggies reproducing so long as our tax dollars have to pay for their AFDC, Medicaid, etc.

[Gene Berkman]

Your brief report on the article mentions "Steve Blackburn, a lawyer involved with the Dallas chapter of the Arizona Civil Liberties Union..."

The actual newspaper article says that Mr Blackburn is with the "American Civil Liberties Union..." which is more likely to have a Dallas chapter than the Arizona Civil Liberties Union."

[rcr]

My girlfriend is an activist who served 5 days in Pennsylvania on a trespassing charge. As part of her probation she is not allowed to consume alcohol, enter a bar, enter a grocery store that serves alcohol, or even attend a party where alcohol is served. She said that 90% of the people she was in jail with were there not for their original offense, but for probation violations.

My point is that these kinds of probation terms are completely irresponsible. If that girl stays drug free, but then goes back to jail for having sex, what has that done for society? Putting people in jail for acts that are technically legal, but illegal for those specific people? It's absurd.

[Hakluyt]

Basically she's just setting the individual up for failure.

[zach]

actually john, yes we do, assuming they're paying tax dollars too.

[mediageek]

So can she still engage in oral sex?

/Depends on what your definition of is is.

[rcr]

That is, grocery store that "sells" alcohol. My dream grocery store slash bar has not been brought to fruition yet.

[rafuzo]

So can she still engage in oral sex?

/Depends on what your definition of is is.

yuk yuk! good one.

[scape]

I wonder how dedicated her probation officer will be?

[blammo]

Barring teenage girls from having sex? Get me my gun. Let the revolution begin.

[mk]

I haven't sex for years.

Suddenly I feel like commiting a crime.

[mk]

I haven't had sex for awhile now. Can I apply that time to a future sentence?

[thoreau]

Q: What does the high school debate team call 4 years without sex?

A: High school.

Trust me, I was on debate team.

[Number 6]

How on earth would the PO enforce something like that?

[mk]

Thoreau,

Between your debate team years and my recent dry spell, we have a cross-country crime spree's worth of probation covered.

[Number 6]

Thoreau-You clearly weren't on my debate team. Nerdy girls need loving, too.

[R C Dean]

Trust me, I was on debate team.

Ditto, buddy, ditto.

[scape]

The article says she's a drug offender but never mentions any rehab or counseling, only that she's banned from sex. Maybe the story is simply bad reporting and the writer was mistaken and confused by the term when the judge said she didn't want the girl to be in possession of a crack pipe.

[kwais]

On the one hand this is outragous. On the other hand the officer that gets to trail her to catch her violation her parole has a fun job.

[Tom Crick]

My grandfather was a minister. Once, way back when, this female teenager was given a choice by the local judge, either go to jail or go to reform school.

...She picked reform school.

[mk]

I note with amusement that the article also mentions that the judge does not allow lawyers to show their cleavage in her courtroom.

That's not at all like Boston Legal

[Tom Crick]

...that should have read, "...either go to [live with my grandparents] or go to reform school."

[Rhywun]

Judge Lauri Blake ordered the girl not to have sex as long as she is living with her parents and attending school.

"So long, Mom and Dad, it was nice knowin' ya!"

[Shem]

Trust me, I was on debate team.

Must be a generational thing. Debate tournaments were some of my favorite times in High School. At tournament, eventually everyone loses. Nothing like failure to give girls an incentive to feel better about themselves by "seducing" whoever is nearby.

[Douglas Fletcher]

Is there some sort of medical exam involved with this, otherwise how the hell is anyone going to know if she's had sex, unless she tells them?

Must be a trick question in there somewhere that I can't figure out.

[Larry Edelstein]

What about masturbation? Can she do that? If I were her, I'd do it in front of a webcam and dare the state to stop her.

[Xavier]

Larry: She's only 17. If she masturbates on a webcam she'll be arrested for producing child pornography.

[jdog]

"A state district judge has ordered a 17-year-old drug offender barred from sex as a condition of her probation."

Would she be allow to masturbate? Even at the age of 45, girls are a bit of mystery to me in this regard. I believe many of them could not masturbate, if they choose not to. But that's just my guess.

But I do know boys. A seventeen year-old boy, with an average level of spoog continuosly filling his prostate gland cannot not masturbate. Even if he chooses not to take an active role in masturbating during his waking hours, he'll be humping the bed while sleeping, to the same effect.

Of course not every boy is predetermined to do this. Some boys experience this not at all, or late in their teens, slowly.

They are the model citizens, I suppose, and become pundits and politicians as they 'mature'.

[Ruthless]

"Q: What does the high school debate team call 4 years without sex?

A: High school.

Trust me, I was on debate team."

All of us here surely intuited that you were on the debate team.
Likewise we all intuited you weren't gettin' any back then.
I'm not sayin' nothing else or Jennifer will get me for remarking on the zit on your honker.

(I wasn't gettin' any back then either, and only get some every prime calendar year now... I'm commiserating with joe.)

[Number 6]

Ruthless-every prime calendar year, huh? Makes you a stud in my book.

[jdog]

Shoot me for this lewd post, but I can't resist.

Jim Morrison's favorite joke:

'What's the difference between a girl's high school track team and a sty of new-born pigs?'

The latter is a bunch of cunning little runts.

[DB]

If that girl stays drug free, but then goes back to jail for having sex, what has that done for society?

Kept a really stupid girl from spawning? 🙂

Seriously though, as weird as they are those are the easiest-to-satisfy probation conditions I've ever heard of. Even picking up litter by the side of the highway takes effort. Not getting laid pretty much happens on its own.

[Rick Barton]

Jeeze, some of these judges think that they're kings. That's cruel and unusual punishment anyway. The kid ought to sue the jerk for violating her constitutional rights.

Q: What does the high school debate team call 4 years without sex?

A: High school.

Trust me, I was on debate team."

What?? I was on the debate team and I shagged like a rabbit! Well, junior and senior year for sure.

[thoreau]

All I know is that my debate partner was a girl, and her parents were very strict about not letting her hang out with boys.

But they had no objection to me hanging out with her. And the girls on the debate team would talk in front of me about the guys they liked.

In retrospect, I guess that was something of an insult.

[Abdul]

Would the sentence have been less cruel or unusual if the judge had just ordered her to join the debate team?

[turnabout]

I got arrested for porno, and had to quit smoking dope. Turnabout's fair play.

[Stunning]

jdog,
We used to do that same joke, only with the girls at the playboy mansion and the circus. Here, I'll start you off: The circus is a cunning array of stunts...

[Rick Barton]

Abdul,

LOL!

[Larry A]

I thought abstinence was supposed to be a wonderful, empowering thing that we do because God taught us to. Now it's a punishment? Geez, get it straight, folks.

It's from the same school that forces probationers to "volunteer" to clean up roads, etc.

[Hakluyt]

thoreau,

In retrospect, I guess that was something of an insult.

Well duh.

[Jango]

this is why we are the laughing stock of the whole world, we have too many idiots for judges and cops

[DB]

this is why we are the laughing stock of the whole world, we have too many idiots for judges and cops

Maybe I'm giving the rest of the world too much credit, but I like to think that discouraging teenagers from sleeping around and getting high doesn't get you mocked in most countries.

[kwais]

"Not getting laid pretty much happens on its own."

Not getting laid happens on its own when you want to get laid. But when you don't want to it magically takes a lot of effort.

I am guessing that if she is a hot little 17 year old, not getting laid would require effort.

[Rick Barton]

DB,

The point is that; discouraging sex among minors is one thing, and should be left up to the parents' discretion sans any government intrusion. But the forbiddance of sex backed by criminal penalties is inexcusable. Also, in this case judge's behavior is worse than idiotic. She violated the kid's Eighth Amendment constitutional right. This is manifest since abstention from sex is not even germane to the crime that the kid was convicted of.

[Rick Barton]

...Make that: "Also, in this case *the* judge's behavior is worse than idiotic.

(someone should penalize ME for never using the Preview button!)

[darchiba]

Sounds to me like she won't be needing any sex anytime soon anyway. Seeing how the court has already bent her over and fucked her really good to begin with. Hopefully they included lube in the court budget.

[darchiba]

One more thing... The governemnt never seems to impose these restrictions on the welfare state. I have even been told the police can not use welfare enrollment details like address etc for tracking down people with warrants because it would violate their privacy rights.

[David]

Don't feel too sorry for this little miss. This same judge ordered the court's baliff to put me in the slammer for a few minutes "until my manners" improved. I wasn't held in comtempt or cited for the same. But, it ain't over!!!!!

[Leandra?]

this is why we are the laughing stock of the whole world, we have too many idiots for judges and cops

Maybe I'm giving the rest of the world too much credit, but I like to think that discouraging teenagers from sleeping around and getting high doesn't get you mocked in most countries.

Believe me.... This (among other things) does make the U.S. the laughing stock of the whole world.
It's a pity most of you are not able to read other languages, for this news has made the European news forums.
The general opinion is that this is absurd, for the punishment is as far from the crime as Amsterdam is from Texas.
Especially in the United "I did not have sex with that woman" States where it seems very hard to define WHAT having sex actually is.