God Whacks in Mysterious Ways

But not so mysterious that Don Feder can't figure out what He's up to. In an essay entitled "Did God Whack New Orleans?: A Theological Inquiry," the former Boston Herald columnist suggests that Katrina was punishment for sodomy, legal challenges to the Pledge of Allegiance, and Israel's withdrawal from Gaza.

Comments

[MP]

Wonder what he'll say when Ophelia levels his home.

[David]

To sum up, God's punishments revolve entirely on events that conflict with Don Feder's political and theological views. How convenient.

[theOneState]

Well, it's obvious why God might whack New Orleans as punishment for the Gaza pullout, but taking out a whole city for sodomy? That's highly suspect....

[dhex]

he forgot:

5. There are many gods, who work in tandem to fuck shit up.

6. There are many gods, who work both for and against one another towards their own aims.

7. There are only three gods - Moe, Larry and Curly.

8. The idea of god beating off is fucking gross.

[David]

4. There is a God who usually allows nature, or individuals, to follow their own course or path. But sometimes he intervenes to create a specific outcome, or to fire a warning shot across the bow of an errant people. When this happens, we call the result a miracle (thereby recognizing that it is supernatural) ? as when He parted the Red Sea for the Children of Israel, or when the American Revolution succeeded, against impossible odds.

Were the British Pagans?

[Rhywun]

Geez. I had a run-in with him over at FrontPage some years ago, over some article he wrote. His position, which I thought was wrong, was at least defensible. I had NO idea he was THIS batshit crazy.

Southern Decadence - an annual orgy celebrating alternative death-styles, characterized by nudity and public copulation

"Death-styles"? Are you kidding me? "Public copulation"?? I've seen that charge levelled quite a few times - without a shred of evidence, of course.

[independent worm]

Uh oh. If sodomy and/or public copulation is grounds for destroying a city, I hereby warn the residents of Hagerstown Maryland, where I got a blowjob on a boat in a lake, back in 1988.

[Hakluyt]

The American Revolution succeeded because the French were foolish enough to let into their desires for revenge.

I love how he simply states that the fourth is the most plausible "theory" without actually discussing why its the most plausible.

[David]

The whole piece makes God sound pretty stupid for an omnipotent, omniscient being. "Let's see, I don't like that Jews have been forced out of Gaza, and those gays want to have a festival in New Orleans. Rather than make a personal appearance and explain my wishses, I think I'll drown a bunch of impoverished people, and delay the festival. That will show those Muslim supporting, fairy loving Americans."

Doesn't the thought of such a God fill you with righteousness?

[madpad]

If God wanted to bitch-slap New Orleans spefically because of Mardi Gras and the tens of thousands of folks that visit to revel in the amoral bacchanalia...then why didn't he wait until Mardi Gras?

[Ron Hardin]

Probably they made some butterfly angry. Butterflies regulate the weather via the Navier Stokes equations.

Of course not all butterflies think alike, so you need a pretty large butterfly consensus. In effect, they vote.

[Hakluyt]

I wonder what Galveston did in 1900 to piss this God-creature off?

David,

Well, having an Old Testament like God for an idol speaks more to the viciousness and nastiness of the individual in question than it does anything else.

[Hakluyt]

madpad,

Mardi Gras is going to be awesome this year. I know dozens of people who are going.

[Madog]

Sure, blame the Jews for something that happened on the other side of the world from them...

I'm sure his great, great, great grandfather blamed the Jews when his prettiest pig got sick too.

[madpad]

He must've missed this movie...

"I don't know if Mama was right...if we each have a... destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze... but I... I think maybe it's both. Maybe both get happening at the same time. Forrest Gump

[Hakluyt]

Madog,

I always find the national border by divine providence claims to be hilarious.

[Hakluyt]

You know, we should have a Reason event in New Orleans during Mardi Gras.

[Hakluyt]

The Big Easy could use the money, and we'd have a lot of fun in the process.

[Andy_d]

My theory is that God was angry with religious conservatives who hate certain of His children. So God, in His infinite wisdom, decimated a "sinful" city in an attempt to say "Is *this* what you really want"? God desperately hopes that these religious fanatics will see how terrible it is to get what they want, hoping that they will see the error of their ways, and come back to *him*. God, in his infinite compassion, wants even for fanatics to somehow see the light. I think that this Don Feder is an agent of Satan, working to undermine God's plans to save the souls of religious fanatics.

[Amanda Hugginkiss]

You know, we should have a Reason event in New Orleans during Mardi Gras.

I don't know. There's too many dudes on this board and that kind of public copulation skeeves me out.

[Umbriel]

madpad -- Destroying New Orleans during Mardi Gras would indeed get the point across best, but Mardi Gras doesn't happen during hurricane season.

What do you want, a miracle?

[joe]

Don Feder is a class A jackass.

As far as the American Revolution going our way because of a divine mirable, there is a remarkable absence of mystical mythology from that period suggesting such a thing.

After the British burned Washington DC, their army was routed by a hurricaine. That's why they had to try to land in the Chesapeake Bay (and got stopped at Ft. McHenry, and the Star Spangled Banner got written) - because their land forces were decimated and had to retreat after the storm.

When something similar happened to Japan, it spawned a national myth that lasted a thousand years - the Kamikazi "Divind Wind." The fact that we have nothing even vaguely similar in our popular culuture, the fact that few people have even heard of this event, is pretty good evidence to me that Americans in the Independence era were a lot less into political/religious bullshit than our contemporary set of right wing lunatics.

[scape]

The path of Katrina is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is Katrina when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

[Rhywun]

God desperately hopes that these religious fanatics will see how terrible it is to get what they want, hoping that they will see the error of their ways

I'm not so sure the fanatics see Katrina as a "terrible" event - God's plan has backfired.

[John]

Shouldn't God have Whacked Salt Lake City?

70% of Utahns practice an Apostate form of Christianity. (Heaven is like a trendy LA nightclub on a slow night.....almost anyone can get in if you look good and behave but you have to pay a lot and really special to get into the VIP Room)

Those big, pretty mountains that are the home of the Greatest Snow On Earth are well overdue for a big earthquake.

[RareWindow]

Feder writes:

"Regarding the way God works in the world, there are four possibilities:

1. There is no God and everything that happens is the result of the random collision of molecules.

2. There is a God, but he?s an absentee landlord. He arranged the world, including nature, as a self-regulating mechanism, then sat back and allowed it to function on its own.

3. There is a God and he controls everything, down to the minutest detail. If a certain leaf falls from a particular tree, it?s because he wants that leaf to fall from that tree. (Regarding the actions of humans, this would seem to negate the concept of free will.)

4. There is a God who usually allows nature, or individuals, to follow their own course or path. But sometimes he intervenes to create a specific outcome, or to fire a warning shot across the bow of an errant people. When this happens, we call the result a miracle (thereby recognizing that it is supernatural) ? as when He parted the Red Sea for the Children of Israel, or when the American Revolution succeeded, against impossible odds.

Of these theories, the fourth seems the most plausible. And so, it is not unreasonable to inquire: With the devastation wrought on New Orleans (and surrounding areas) was God trying to tell us something?"

I think that there must be something wrong with this list, since it purports to be the only possiblities regarding God and world and yet fails to include what is actually the case: there is no God and the universe, while containing many random elements, also contains a high degree of order and basically runs according to a limited set of prnciples. Also, I have thought of some other possibilities:

(5) God created the world and basically allows it to purr along on its own, but sometimes he hires the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy to stir up some real bad natural disasters.

(6) God created the world and tries really hard to keep things calm for all of us but sometimes He messes up because things (particularly the Earth's atmosphere) are so damned complicated. He gets confused and the winds and surf get a little out of control.

(7) God created the universe but doesn't realize that He did so, and sometimes He unwittingly backs into it while working on other things, thus causing turmoil and destruction.

(8) God created the universe but also created a subcommittee of demigods to help him with universe management. This subcommittee was given veto power (by a supermajority) over Godly decisions. This was a mistake, as the subcommittee bureaucracy has really expanded since the beginning of time (they used the expansion the universe as their excuse), and there is a significant delay between when God proposes a decision (such as stopping a flood) and subcommittee action on the matter.

I am shocked by the stupidity of this Feder dude. How do people end up in these backwaters of reason? He claims that #4 is the most reasonable of the options. Really?!?!? Based on what, exactly? He directly implies not only that the hurricane was punishment, but that it was a miracle!!

Even if we accept his general theological principle that God punishes people via natural disasters, how does Feder know that the hurricane was punishment for immorality and secularism? Why not punishment for the Iraq War? Why not because God hates African Americans?

If God so hates the perverted New Orleanians, why the last minute rightward shift in Katrina's path? Did God think, "Oh, let's get those Alabama cats as well"? I could understand if he wanted to just take out N.O. and just couldn't figure out how to do so without killing a bunch of innocents as well, but why the swipe at 'Bama?

Feder quotes Scripture (If we turn our back on God, God will turn His back on us), but it doesn't seem to help his case. How is flinging a category 4 hurricane at people "turning one's back"?

[Hakluyt]

joe,

After the British burned Washington DC, their army was routed by a hurricaine.

You seem to be conflating the War of 1812 with the American War of Independence.

The fact that we have nothing even vaguely similar in our popular culuture...

That's a generational thing. Much religious significance was put on natural events that happened during the Civil War for example.

...is pretty good evidence to me that Americans in the Independence era were a lot less into political/religious bullshit than our contemporary set of right wing lunatics.

Don't conflate the early republic with the war of independence. By 1812-14 the political class and the public in general were far more religious than had been in the 1770s and 1780s.

[Timothy]

8. The idea of god beating off is fucking gross.

You tell that to Enki!

[joe]

Hak,

Oops. My first version contained the phrase "Independence and post-Indepedence era" rather than "that period," but I seem to have excised that language.

"By 1812-14 the political class and the public in general were far more religious than had been in the 1770s and 1780s." Interesting point, and one that makes my point even more strongly, if the "more religious" generation didn't create the national myth, how accurate could Scalia and Dobson's vision of the Founders as a gang of theocrats really be?

[thoreau]

everything that happens is the result of the random collision of molecules.

Somebody needs to learn more physics...

Randomness on one scale can still lead to emergent and predictable laws on another scale. Hence I have no realistic way to predict the exact motions of the atoms in a baseball and the surrounding air, but with Newton's Laws and some fluid mechanics one can understand the phenomenon of the curveball. (And please don't ask me to explain it. Not something I've looked into. But I know that there are people who have done interesting work on it.)

[Ramon Rozas III]

Didn't every state that got hit by Katrina vote for Bush? Maybe God _is_ sending a message.

[Hakluyt]

Amanda Hugginkiss,

Well, we could have a "Cuba Libre" instead.

[David]

Hak,

Drink enough of those, and public copulation could follow.

[Hakluyt]

joe,

I think its more a point of a national myth not sticking over time than it is an issue of them not believing in natural events as portents from God. I really can't think of a major American event of some negative consequence that doesn't have folks like Feder spouting off about it being God's will.

[The Anti-Puritan]

Feder's essay is mostly garbage, with one hidden kernel of truth.

Responsibility for the actions of the community is a theme of Yom Kippur.? What sort of leaders did we choose?

Surprisingly enough, I think that we libertarians can use this idea of collective moral accountability, albeit in modified form. When we see corruption, waste, and hypocrisy in government, we are usually told to "follow the money": to understand the problem in terms of a wealthy, powerful elite that has somehow stolen the government from the people. This may be an accurate diagnosis in third-world kleptocracies with rotten electoral processes, but our elections are quite clean by comparison (quagmires like Florida in 2000 are conspicuous exceptions to the rule). If you can believe that pornography causes men to rape, that video games make kids violent, and that a song lyric can drive someone to suicide, you can also believe that a lavishly funded political campaign takes away the free will of voters through a kind of Jedi mind trick. Reasonoids are generally inclined to disbelieve the first three claims; we shouldn't believe the last one, either. McCain, Feingold, and other enemies of free speech use it to justify campaign-finance laws that violate the First Amendment.

We the people are Stella Kowalski. Every election season, a bunch of slick, corrupt, incompetent, and self-righteous Stanleys shout to us from below the balcony, begging us to give them another chance. Just as battered women need to take individual responsibility for their choice to let the bums back in, we need to take collective responsibility for our choices at the voting booth. Campaign-finance laws and term limits don't work because they shift the blame to a moneyed elite that may be an opportunisitc beneficiary of our bad judgment but does not cause that bad judgment.

The vast majority of Americans tell pollsters that they think marijuana should be legal for medical purposes, and yet the federal government continues to persecute medical marijuana patients. Doesn't this prove that the goverment is not accountable to the people? No. Individually and collectively, there's often a discrepancy between what people say and what they do. Many of the same voters who try to impress pollsters with their reason and compassion are quite willing to be duped by a politician's senseless and cruel efforts to appear "tough on drugs." And they have no one to blame but themselves for their gullibility.

The Hebrew prophets of old were on to something when they spoke of collective moral accountability. One need not believe in a vengeful, punishing God to acknowledge that, especially in a democracy, mass wisdom and mass folly have consequences. Thus did Joseph De Maistre say, "Every country has the government it deserves."

[Hakluyt]

David,

Too true. We could go to the Library Lounge at the Ritz-Carlton and have a mint julep instead, or go to Cafe Pontalba to order one so we can walk around Jackson Square. 🙂

If anyone is interested in giving money to help support New Orleans musicians through this rough patch go here: http://www.preservationhall.com/2.0/

[Umbriel]

Joe -- The Colonials won the battle of Yorktown decisively in large part because of effective French military assistance (both on the ground and in a naval engagement in Chesapeake Bay).

If that doesn't constitute an Act of God, I don't know what does. 😉

[Umbriel]

Joe -- The Colonials won the battle of Yorktown decisively in large part because of effective French military assistance (both on the ground and in a naval engagement in Chesapeake Bay).

If that doesn't constitute an Act of God, I don't know what does. 😉

[Hakluyt]

So, does Kentucky get whacked for the Derby Day tailgating? 🙂

[mediageek]

Would you like God to buy time on a telecast of Monday night football to transmit His message?

Why yes, actually, that would do nicely.

[Akira MacKenzie]

Of these theories, the fourth seems the most plausible.

Huh? HOW is this the "most plasible" explantion, Don? Do you have any factual evidence for Katrina being the product of "God's Wrath" (or evidence for any sort of a "God," for that matter). Until you do, I'd give the molecules you disparge a little more credit and, while you're at it, start rethinking your "morality" because if you think inflicting pain and suffering upon people for their political and sexual choices is "justice" from a being who represents absolute good, then it's the Bible-beaters (or in Feder's case, Torrah-beaters)who are morally crippled here.

Also, in his error, Joe brings up a good point. If God was on our side in the Revolution, why did the Brits soundly trounce us (save for a few naval battles) in the War Of 1812? How did Gay Pride and the Gaza Strip figure into this, Don?

[eric]

The most reasonable option seems to me to be that God created the universe and then, finally having something to amuse him, laughs as nature beats the shit out of everyone. My friend is building a laser so we can kill God; at least that way we don't have some jackass laughing at us as we suffer.

[larmar20]

Did he really call someone else "smug"?

[Windypundit]

By the way, anybody else ever see the movie Flight of Black Angel? Not a great move, but I love the concept: William O'Leary plays an Air Force pilot who flakes out and becomes a religious nut, so he decides he has to Nuke Las Vegas for Jesus.

I'll be ready to believe Don Feder when the Lord takes Las Vegas.

[Hakluyt]

BTW, my parents have their restaurant up and running again. The telephone company bought them a new generator so they could feed the telephone, etc. workers.

[Hakluyt]

Windypundit,

That movie was so bad it could almost be categorized as a part of the "Airplane" series. 🙂

[James]

Thoreau, Curveballs are simple. The side of the ball spinning toward the plate travels slower than the side spinning away from it, because of friction. Just don't ask me why it waits 55 feet before it starts moving.

[Girth]

What kind of weak-ass gang-banger is this guy's God anyways, going around whacking people?

I much prefer my God to be in the smiting game. Gots to get biblical on yo ass, bitch!

[mediageek]

Hakluyt, good luck to your parents. I hope that they are able to not only recover from this disaster but prosper as well.

[Herman]

Hope Nick and Jesse remember to put enough coal into the Vic-20 so this post makes it.

So, does Kentucky get whacked for the Derby Day tailgating? 🙂
Hak-
I think they get whacked by having to be Kentucky.

If God was on our side in the Revolution, why did the Brits soundly trounce us (save for a few naval battles) in the War Of 1812?
Ak-
Feder would probably say "Hey Atheist scum, are you paying taxes to the Windsors? No, I didn't think so. So God was with us in the War of 1812."

[thoreau]

Herman-

I don't know if this post will make it, or if you've read Jon Stewart's "America: The Book", but there's a short bio of a database manager at the Department of Veterans' Affairs. He was hired in the 1970's to get their (at the time) new computer system operational. He's a few years from retirement and vigorously resisting efforts to upgrade it. "How do you get inside those new machines anyway? This one's got a front door!"

[Rex Little]

I used to work with Don Feder in a libertarian activist group he ran in Massachusetts in the early 1970's. I considered him a good friend, and someone I was proud to associate with. I mourn for what he used to be, and shudder at what he has apparently become.

[Isaac Bartram]

Rex, I was thinking that's what I recalled about Feder too. Not that I actually ever met him but I recall reading some of his stuff in the 80s.

Too bad.

[Larry A]

Let's say I buy Fedor's position: There is a God who usually allows nature, or individuals, to follow their own course or path. But sometimes he intervenes to create a specific outcome, or to fire a warning shot across the bow of an errant people. When this happens, we call the result a miracle (thereby recognizing that it is supernatural) as when He parted the Red Sea for the Children of Israel, or when the American Revolution succeeded, against impossible odds.

Hurricanes aren't scarce enough to be unusual, much less miraculous. If a hurricane hits when your house is below sea level and you haven't been keeping up your levee maintenance you'd kind of expect to get wet. So far Katrina seems to be following the nature-and-individuals-on-their-own-path scenario.

I might be more inclined to listen to the warning-shot scenario if God flooded Las Vegas, or New Orleans got buried in a sandstorm.

Meanwhile, I'll just keep on with what the New Testament says. One of these days Mr. Fedor will get to the pearly gates and be astounded that the pass-fail question is, "Did you love your neighbor?"

[Smug Secularist]

Hey Don: You forgot to mention the theory of evolution; you're slipping on us, bud...

[Dogzilla]

If everything Feder says is true then God can go f*ck himself. I wouldn't want to end up stuck in Heaven for eternity with such a capricious asshole.

[Roseanne Rosannadanna]

You know, Mr. Feder, you sure ask a lot of questions....

[Tom Crick]

The version of Christianity I find most appealing is the one that interprets the temptations of Christ kind of like what I read in that famous chapter of The Brothers' Karamazov entitled "The Grand Inquisitor".

...It goes kind of like this:

The first temptation--the one about turning stones into bread--rather than being a temptation about hunger, was the temptation of divine intervention. Feed the people or give the people what they want, Son of Man, and they'll follow you as the Son of God. Jesus replies, essentially, that he'd rather have a following of people who would do God's will regardless of such rewards.

The second temptation--the one about throwing himself off the temple wall--was, once again, a temptation of divine intervention. Save the people from their fears, intervene on their behalf, and they'll follow you as the Son of God.

...This view of Christianity notes that Jesus resisted the temptation to make good things happen for his followers and the temptation to prevent bad things from happening too. It also notes that this resistance was necessary for the salvation of humanity.

It also notes that Jesus' followers often died horrible and miserable deaths; indeed, Jesus himself came to such an end. Whenever I hear a Christian talk about how God made something bad happen to someone who had done something "wrong", I ask them what terrible thing Jesus did that merited crucifixion?

"I have set before thee life and death, the blessing and the curse. Therefore, choose life, so that thou mayest live -- thou and thy seed" (Deuteronomy 30: 19-20).

...It also notes that when Jesus was going around healing people, etc., he didn't seem to differentiate between the deserving and the undeserving. It isn't clear to me that the passage above is addressed to all of humanity--maybe it's addressed to a specific group of people?

"Just days ago, the Palestinian Nazis torched Gaza synagogues -- in sort of an Arabian Kristallnacht. And they'll still be rewarded with millions of dollars in American aid."

It's my understanding that the synagogues that were torched in Gaza were left empty and abandoned after the recent pull out. ...which isn't at all like Kristallnacht.

"This pogrom damaged, and in many cases destroyed, about 1574 synagogues (constituting nearly all Germany had), many Jewish cemeteries, more than 7,000 Jewish shops, and 29 department stores. More than 20,000 Jews were arrested and taken to concentration camps; a few were even beaten to death with others forced to watch."

----Wikipedia on Kristallnacht

[Mark B.]

There is but one God, and His name is Murphy . . .

[Akira MacKenzie]

Feder would probably say "Hey Atheist scum, are you paying taxes to the Windsors? No, I didn't think so. So God was with us in the War of 1812."

My reply would be that his God seems to work in mysterious, inefficient, and unspeakably cruel ways. If God wanted America to be free, why not just appear before German George and tell him to "let my people go?" Why resort to something as bloody as a revolution when you?re allegedly omnipotent and can bend the universe to your will. Wouldn?t it be far more rational to take the direct approach?

Ergo, why send a hurricane to flatten NO for its so-called sins when God has power to make the world the way he likes? While we?re on the subject, if ?God hates Fag? why create homosexuals in the first place? If abortion is so abhorrent, why allow humans to have the knowledge to induce abortion? The devil made them do it? I thought I AM was more powerful than Old Scratch

Yeah, yeah, "we can't fathom the mind of God" and other such theological cop-outs. Look, if we mere mortals can't understand God, then how are we supposed to know if his decisions are good, evil, or indifferent? When Yahweh/Jehovah/Allah bellows from his holy mountain that abortion, homosexuality, and XXX porn , how do I know he's not full of crap? Even if he does exist, why should I listen to God?

I know, he'll send us to some nasty place for all eternity after we die if we don't do as he tells us. In that case, maybe the term "whack" is a proper one since Jehovah doesn't seem any better than your average hood with an extortion racket. However, that doesn't answer my question. What makes the God of Abraham "good" if he can't bring himself to handle dissent in the earthly ranks? What makes "God" better than a tyrant like... oh, lets see... King George II of England circa 1776?

If we are accountable to God, then who the Hell is God accountable to? If God is real, may I speak with his supervisor, please? I have a long list of complaints about how he has been running this universe.

[mediageek]

Tom, you make a good point what with Jesus refusing to intervene. As an argument for faith, it makes sense.

But I still simply can't wrap my head around making that leap.

[joe]

Well done, Tom Crick.

[Hakluyt]

mediageek,

Well, as God was made by man, its really not that important. 🙂

[James]

If God smacks down one of these 600 trailer park evacuee villages with a tornado, we'll know Feder was right.

[LEH]

Don Feder forgets the biblical injunction to "judge not, lest ye yourselves be judged". How does he know that this storm isn't a test of his faith, to see if he can truly follow the example of Jesus? In my opinion, his column shows that he is failing miserably.

Can you imagine what Donny boy would have said if he had been present when Jesus fed the thousands on bread and fishes?

"Buy them food? Hell, Jesus, they should have planned ahead and brought food with them! Let them starve."

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