Bragg'in' Rights to Katrina Coverage
FishbowlNY has performed a public duty by bringing to light one of the most disturbing developments in the wake of Hurricane Katrina: Masturbatory musings about New Orleans by literary ink-stained wretches.
Dismissed NY Timesman Howell Raines, for instance, laid down this misbegotten spontaneous dope prosody in the LA Times (a newspaper that is truly the Joyce DeWitt of major American dailies):
Oh, wondrous city of music that floats from the horn and poems drowned in drink! Oh, cheesy clip-clop metropolis of phony coach-and-fours hauling drunken Dodge salesmen, of gaunt-eyed transvestite hookers, of Baptist girls suddenly inspired to show their breasts on Chartres Street in return for a string of beads flung from the balcony of the Soniat House--will we lose even these dubious glories of the only American city that's never been psychoanalyzed?
But as Fishbowl makes clear, if Raines' prose is as fetid as the toilet water in the Superdome, it's another dismissed Timesman who really takes the beignet: Pulitzer Prize winner and serial journalistic miscreant Rick Bragg, who quit the Gray Lady in 2003 after getting caught fudging work. Writing in the Washington Post, Bragg took the occasion of the likely deaths of thousands to wax elegaic about getting laid in Raines' "cheesy clip-clop metropolis":
I fell in love with the city and a Louisiana State University sophomore on the same night, eating shrimp cooked seven ways in the Quarter, riding the ferry across the black, black river where fireworks burned the air at Algiers Point. I drank so much rum I could sleep standing up against a wall. The sophomore left me, smiling, but the city never did.
Boy, that's pure poetry; now we know why all those people were crying. We're only sorry to have missed the piece he surely must have written about getting double-teamed on a class trip to Sri Lanka after last December's tsunami .
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A transcript of any random 20 minutes of Fox newsboy Shepard Smith sputtering with rage last week while standing on a shit-covered freeway offramp surrounded by the nearly dead would be a far better historical record of what happened than these insulting faux-romantic thumbsuckers about "what it means to miss New Orleans."
(Of course the leash has since been firmly re-attached to Shep & the other wealthy cable news kids who finally snapped on air and briefly reported human truth instead of press conferences.)
I guess it's easy to wax pathetic about the magnolia blossoms and sensual southern breezes when you're not surrounded by hundreds of bloated corpses from the ghetto wards.
One possible good side to the disaster is that at least one metropolitan daily newspaper has quit publishing altogether, and has proven way more useful to its city and the world by just running an endless stream of blog updates on whatever is relevant: wire stories, e-mail from the damned, transcripts of interviews, directions to shelters, pictures of stranded pets, CDC warnings, etc. Sure would be nice if this trend caught on ...
Reminds me of the old SNL bit: "I'm sure you're wondering how this affects ME, Al Franken." It's hard to remember that Al Franken was once funny, too.
I wonder, is there anything more perverse than these psuedo-journalist assholes trying to make sweet poetry about New Orleans, while people lay dying in the streets? Makes me fuckin gag, it does.
Dear FEMA:
So far, the barriers of decency and taste set up to prevent us from being flooded by self-obsessed memoirs about the lost city have held, but there are ominous signs that they are about to be overtopped.
Please, send help!
While these quotes may exhibit bad taste, I'm not sure they're in bad taste. I see nothing wrong with lamenting the destruction of one of the country's most unique and cherished cities.
I dunno: Considering that New Oreleans was (pace Matt Welch) one of the more unique major cities in the country, and one with a pretty rich history behind it, I can't get too distraught over some writers waxing overly sentimental about the place. Though the Huey Long reference does put Howie's pretentious, stereotype-affirming pablum beyond my tolerance threshold.
Oddly enough, I thought that two of the better, less saccharine nostalgia pieces for the city came from ESPN Page 2 columnist Bill Simmons and wannabe Iranian revolutionary Michael Ledeen.
How about a mash up?
Oh, Louisiana State University sophomore, riding the ferry across the black balcony of the Soniat House--will we lose even these dubious glories of eating shrimp? Oh, drunken Dodge salesmen, on the same night, smiling, cooked seven ways in the Quarter, standing up against a wall.
I fell in love with cheesy clip-clop poems drowned in drink! I drank so much rum The sophomore left me in return for a string of beads flung from the black river where fireworks burned the gaunt-eyed transvestite hookers. Wondrous city of Baptist girls suddenly inspired to show their phony coach-and-fours, hauling breasts on Chartres Street. Metropolis of air, of city, of the only American music that floats from the horn and that's never been psychoanalyzed?
I could sleep at Algiers Point but never did.
clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap!
More scape!
[more applause]
Scape is the ghost of Kenneth Koch.
Awesome.
BTW its elegiac not "elegaic"
Spelling and grammer police only come out when authors try to sound pompous or use exceedingly sharp wit.
Someone gave Rick Bragg's "autobiographical" book "All Over But the Shoutin'" to me to read because RB and I are about the same age and grew up within 40 miles of each other. His creativity was obvious in that the Alabama of the Braggfest was strikingly different from the Alabama I remember (I also came from "the wrong side of the tracks" - as I once saw my hometown described in a newspaper article.). Although I said nothing about the book to her, my mother read it and came to the same conclusion. That is why RB was the ideal person to write the account of Jessica Lynch's ordeal, the details of which she remembered little. For those who haven't read "Shoutin'," the patronization of RB's mother is appalling.
By the way, I don't think the word "unique" has degrees. I'm not normally a grammar policeman because I have enough problems with it myself. However, using modifiers with "unique" is a pet peeve. It's unique or its not.
Why hush my mouth. I agree with something Ken Layne said.
Um, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
Or something like that.
Bookie-Wook,
look@myass.com....ha ha! I laughed aloud just now. Didn't see that one coming.
I guess it's easy to wax pathetic about the magnolia blossoms and sensual southern breezes when you're not surrounded by hundreds of bloated corpses from the ghetto wards.
I'm completely in agreement. I've had this sneaking suspicion for a while now that most poets are turds. Just turds. In disguise. As people. This article is helping to support my hypothesis. And I don't want to hear that I'm illiterate or cannot appreciate good writing - I was a classicist fer cryin' out loud. So much pseudo-romantic bulls**t is constantly being passed off as craftmanship of word these days, these pieces being good examples. I simply don't buy anything that is patronizing or....(agghh! I can't think of the word I need to use...) - shall I say, presumptuous or gratuitous towards another's suffering. In short, I think it is tasteless and thoughtless to publish stuff like this when the disaster has yet to subside. Can't these people wait a hot minute before gratuitously stroking their own writing egos?
I would liken this sort of tripe to a young man of inherited wealth mourning the hospitalization of his aging, cancerous maid because his daily feast will no longer be prepared exactly to his liking (presumably the way she had prepared it). To the poets: Get over yourself, you self-centered turds.
As much as these badly-timed memoirs irk me, I do admit I would sympathize with them in that, shallowly, I do feel a loss as I never got to visit the place before the hurricane destroyed it.
I'm completely in agreement. I've had this sneaking suspicion for a while now that most poets are turds. Just turds. In disguise. As people.
"Sensitive" writing.
True caring about others.
Big gap in-between!
The server is back
I can post here again, but
For how long this time?
Spelling and grammer police only come out when authors try to sound pompous or use exceedingly sharp wit.
Er, that's "grammar." 🙂
That's gutsy to re-print something so unprintably horrid.
OK, so which paper is John Ritter and which is Suzanne Somers?
Do you mean the paper is an also-ran, that it's only mildly attractive or that it's smarter than Suzanne Somers?
I'm from southern Mississippi and came up around the same time as R Bragg. A friend gave me "It's all Over but the Shoutin'" and it struck me as written by a big phony who was writing a fantasy to appeal to his NYC friends. Probably to support the phony stories of his youth.
I don't know the guy but he comes across as a pretentious, self-indulgent prick.
The past two weeks I've been thinking that Tennessee Williams wasn't making this stuff up.
The death of anything that publishes anything longer than an average blog post can't come too soon. People like Raines only exist because newspapers need to fill up the space around their advertising, and are willing to pay for drivel, as long as it's verbose. Bloggers don't get paid by the word.
BTW, I don't really blame Shep. I don't know what I'd say if I were stuck down there with a camera on me unable to leave and they were cutting to me every 10 minutes. But Raines, Bragg, et al. have no such excuse.