"Man Bites Corpse," That Ain't News. "Corpse Bites Man"—That's News

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As if New Orleans hadn't already demonstrated my thesis that Land of the Dead was the year's most important critique of the post-scarcity economy, here comes Randall Robinson to claim (in the HuffPost, natch), "It is reported that black hurricane victims in New Orleans have begun eating corpses to survive."

From the right, bloggers are already shambling mindlessly toward the hapless Robinson, and while I hesitate to join in the attack, extraordinary claims require extraordinary proofs, and Robinson provides none. And not to put too fine a point on it, but if you can't go four days hungry without having Donner Party moment, that would indicate that you're accustomed to eating pretty well under regular circumstances.

Come on, Robinson! I think we can safely say this week's events have provided evidence that America's racial ailments are not as fully cured as many (libertarians in particular) like to imagine. Do we really need to be piling on with Liz-Claiborne-on-Oprah level fantasies?

NEXT: I Went to My Local Dealer to See If He Could Set Me Straight, He Said There's a Little Gas Going But I'd Have to Wait

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  1. Yes, that's what I'd do. I'd start chowing down on reeking, bloated corpses that have been lying around for days on end in 90+ degree weather in 90+ humidity. Yummmm. Pass the mayo.

  2. if you can't go four days hungry without having Donner Party moment, that would indicate that you're accustomed to eating pretty well under regular circumstances.

    Actually, it would indicate the opposite. If your body fat reserves aren't adequate to get you through four days, you haven't been eating well at all.

  3. But geeze, the MRE's the military is distributing aren't even heated. Who can eat that?

  4. If Randall Robinson were anybody other than a African-American leftwing activist, this assertion would be widely denounced as racist pandering to the worst and most archaic stereotypes of African-Americans.

    Just goes to show how much of a double standard exist in our political discourse.

  5. Let's all sing together:

    People who eat people
    Are the luckiest people in the world?

  6. The truth is some of those people do look like cannibals...expect to see the ole bone through the nose thing anyday now.

  7. "...this week's events have provided evidence that America's racial ailments are not as fully cured as many (libertarians in particular) like to imagine."

    Speaking as a libertarian, I do not think that America's "racial ailments" are "as fully cured" as many may imagine. I do think that the rest of the cure lay in the hands of the afflicted through some cultural shifting.

  8. Uncle Sam translated for those who have not kept up on their KKK dues:

    "When are those damn N****r's gonna learn."

  9. Johnny:

    I guess if I squint I can see where you're coming from. Of course, if I put on rose-colored glasses it becomes even more clear.

    How much more should be done by the evil white man to cure racial ailments? Free public schooling? Job quotas? Social programs? Nope, tried, and haven't done the job.

    How about reparations?

  10. 'S right, Johnny. You can lead a ho to culture, but you can't make 'em think.

  11. Well, it's good to see that the Church of All Worlds managed to get some relief to the stranded citizens of NO. If you can't get food to the needy, get the needy to see the food all around them. May they grok and drink deep.

  12. There were so many obvious points to score--why'd he have to throw cannibalism into the mix?

    No one doubts that the overwhelming majority of the people who are suffering in New Orleans are poor and black. While I blame the government for not taking the obvious steps to prevent much of this tragedy, it's hard to deny the charge that these people are suffering disproportionately because they're poor and black.

    The cannibalism story's completely unnecessary! Why punctuate a perfectly valid point with an, apparently, ridiculous tall tale?

    ...Maybe he's following the lead of the President?

  13. jf, Just equal access to the law, just that...just freedom...and if you think "black people" in America have that...then I know what perscription is in your glasses.

    Like I said.

    Thanx for proving the point.

    "When are those damn N****r's gonna learn."

  14. So, what's the libertarian take on cannibalism? I know you own your own body, but does that ownership continue after your death?

    Seems like a victimless crime to me.

  15. Is this true, paperwork delays in Washington actually prevented National Guard troops from being sent from New Mexico for four entire days? If it is, then some heads need to roll:

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/katrina_national_guard

    From the article, pretty damning of somebody:

    WASHINGTON - Several states ready and willing to send National Guard troops to the rescue in hurricane-ravaged New Orleans didn't get the go-ahead until days after the storm struck ? a delay nearly certain to be investigated by Congress.

    New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson offered Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco help from his state's National Guard on Sunday, the day before Hurricane Katrina hit Louisiana. Blanco accepted, but paperwork needed to get the troops en route didn't come from Washington until late Thursday.

  16. By the way, all current issues MREs come with self heating packs.

  17. I'd offer my two cents but all this talk of bloated, reeking human flesh is making me hungry.

  18. "How much more should be done by the evil white man to cure racial ailments? "

    Easy. Stop believing that black people are any less able or impressive or deserving of help and human decency because they're black, and castigate those who do. If everyone did that, problem solved. It can't be solved by state programs and coercion, no matter how much well-intentioned liberals wish it could be.

    I have 0 doubt in my mind that if the victims shown starving on CNN looked like Natalee what's-her-face, every response would have been twice as fast, and there'd be half as many jackasses on the blogs and the airwaves trying to blame the poor for not owning SUVs. Zero doubt. Unfortunate aspect of human nature, and the only thing you can do is try to fight it every day.

    "So, what's the libertarian take on cannibalism?"

    Awesome! It's time for the annual cannibal libertarian discussion. Someone pull up the links to the past discussions. Pull up the 'if you can kill an animal to eat it, why can't you have sex with it?' ones while you're there.

  19. This kind of disclaimer is rarely necessary at Hit and Run, but, seriously, don't read the remainder of this post if you're easily offended.

    I fail to see anything wrong with cannibalism. Obviously I wouldn't eat old bloated corpses, but I don't think going after a fresh one would be all that bad. You have to remember that cannibalism can also be a good source of liquids. Eating a blood-soaked human heart will definitely help to stave off thirst. I'd try to do it a relatively secluded place so as not to offend my fellow refugees. Then I'd give the rations that I would have otherwise consumed to someone who looks especially hungry. So, not only would I start eating people, I'd do it with a smug sense of moral superiority. Maybe I wouldn't start within the first four days, but if things got really desperate, I'm pretty confident I'd be the first guy to take the plunge.

  20. sidereal,

    Here ya go:

    "Guess Who's Coming As Dinner"
    https://www.reason.com/hitandrun/2004/01/guess_whos_comi.shtml

  21. I see corpses as being under the same label as, say, children. That is, just like children, they're not capable of giving legal consent, so eating them is wrong.

    ...Now if it's the only means of survival, I can see that... ....but once it's established that the defendant ate the corpse, there should be a big burden to prove such a necessity.

  22. P.S. I think it's also wrong when zombies eat the living. ...Unless the living are of age and give consent, I guess. Still, the burden of proof should be on the zombie, again, once it's established that the zombie ate someone.

  23. ...Of course, that brings up the question of what to do with a zombie once he's convicted.

    I don't think you can throw him in with the general population--that would surely represent cruel and unusual punishment for the other inmates.

    ...A special prison for zombies, maybe? Wouldn't that violate the spirit of the Fourteenth Amendment?

  24. ...and, please, just for the purpose of this discussion, let's not get into the question of whether the death penalty is appropriate for convicted zombies, okay?

  25. These pundits (from the left and the right) should just shut the fuck up. Their bloviating is a waste of time. Please be generous in your time and money for the Gulf Coast victims.

  26. "...A special prison for zombies, maybe? Wouldn't that violate the spirit of the Fourteenth Amendment?"

    I think you'd have real problems with equal rights here. Even ensuring that the zombies received equivalent treatment you'd be running into the precedents against separate-but-equal type procedures.

    I'd go in for some kind of work-camp where the zombies, being immune from drowning, go under water and repair the levees.

  27. I'm pretty confident I'd be the first guy to take the plunge

    I KNEW you were a libertarian.....: =)

  28. Thank god, in this time of tragedy, that the few remaining Bush apologists have a dingbat old darky's crazy story to slap around! (Those blacks! When will they learn the importance of "fact checking"?) This has been a truly catastrophic time for our very important political leaders in Washington, and I for one am very relieved that Bush-apologist bloggers finally have a bit of relief headed their way.

    Another sign of hope: A black entertainer apparently said something that didn't show the proper ass-kissing deference to Our President. Black and an entertainer (probably a gansta rapper)? Jeez, now it's quite clear that these people really are cheering for the other side. Heh.

    (Shit, who's the "other side" in this case? Ah, who cares ....)

  29. I wouldn't mind chowing down on the Wine Commonsewer. If you check out his blog, you get the idea he's composed of some pretty high-end victuals.

  30. New Orleans is 66% black. That might have something to do with it too. About 1 in 4 is white.

    You know what I think? I think that it's a catastophe, and that the mayor and the governor are the ones charged with preparing the city and the state for disaster preparedness. It's New Orleans that has a few hundred buses under water instead of funneling people out of the city. Ray Nagin, the mayor, is black. He dropped the ball in a huge way and delayed the evacuation order until Bush asked them to do it. New Orleans is fucked because it failed to execute its hurricane plan, or that plan was totally inadequate. It's also a city that where black people are a majority, run by a black mayor. So this racism meme is mostly bullcrap. Floodwaters don't care about race. It's a bunch of Monday morning quarterbacks riding their hobby horses over the corpses of dead people. Frankly it's frigging disgusting. I still don't get this underlying assumption that the government has nearly magical powers to overcome any obstacle, and the president has total control over every aspect of every government agency. Remember Monday, when people were breathing a sigh of relief because New Orleans was ok? It wasn't until after the storm was long gone that the levy blew. It was also a category 1 storm when it hit Florida. The government can't tell the future. They had little notice that the storm was going to be a major one; the storm passed and rescources were committed before the levy broke. What they hell, realistically, was anyone supposed to do in this situation? In hindsight, everything is clear. But you try to anticipate all this before it happened (and by that I mean this specific storm) It's easy to place blame when a) nobody here really knows in detail the logistical problems that the rescue efforts have really face and b) nobody has any responsibility to actually do anything. WE can place blame in the fantasy world where National Guard divisions can pick up and start moving 15 minutes after the order is given and there isn't one working road going into New Orleans and communications are working like normal.

    I think people are upset in large part because they don't want to realize that the only thing that seperates an America from a 3rd world hell hole can be destroyed in a night and there is no magic protecting us.

  31. Well said Toxic, and I think, spot on.

    Yesterday, I did laugh at my television when an MSNBC reporter called it a "civil rights crisis".

  32. Toxic-
    Wait....you're asking what REALISTICALLY should have been done? You're ejected from this discussion! Don't you know that this tragedy is to be used exclusively as a launching pad for your personal moonbat theories? Get with the program.

  33. Does anybody remember when Ken Layne was sane.

    I really miss that Ken.

  34. I can't decide which inanity is my favorite: the outrageous, unsubstantiated claim relayed in the passive voice (It's been reported...) or the white liberal guilt (I'd like to personally apologize...) abundant in the comments section. I'm eagerly awaiting the inevitable conspiracy theories.

  35. (Sigh)
    Were we supposed to find Ken Layne's rant funny or informative? Why does he have to plague us with this drivel?
    All of us here can craft rants/ad hominem against both Bush and his supporters that are not only logically consistent but also funny. Ken Layne...well, I'm sure you can read it yourself, all the usual claptrap that Support for Bush=Racism, blah, blah, blah, Republicans=KKK,...
    Personally I found it both derivative of the original partisan sources and therefore boring. Give me the acidic edge of Gary Gunnels anyday to a thousand Ken Laynes.
    What an amatuer. Dude, go back to your tabloid.

  36. If Robinson's aim was to elevate the sense of urgency needed to evacuate those still stranded in NO he should have reported that dogs and cats ... no, no, no ... puppies and kittens were being eaten.

  37. I enjoy reading Ken Layne's comments. ...quite a bit.

    ...Even if I disagreed with him--and I don't--I'd find his comments eminently more interesting than the comments of your garden variety propaganda victim. ...whose only contribution to the discussion is the regurgitated insinuation that noticing government ineptitude is Bush bashing.

  38. it's hard to deny the charge that these people are suffering disproportionately because they're poor and black.

    The fact that they're black has nothing to do with their suffering. The people who stayed behind in New Orleans did so because they were (a) stupid or (b) poor. There wasn't a checkpoint at the city limits forcing black people to stay while Whitey escaped to freedom.

    And yes, American blacks are more likely to be poor than American whites. But that's because American black culture has substantial problems of its own making, not because of the race of the people in question. Black immigrants do very well here. White people aren't keeping black people down; black people are keeping black people down.

  39. "White people aren't keeping black people down; black people are keeping black people down."

    That's a fascinating observation, especially the last bit. ...care to elaborate?

  40. But that's because American black culture has substantial problems of its own making, not because of the race of the people in question.

    This sentence is self-negating. It stands to reason that, if American black culture has problems of its own making, then those problems hurt, well, black people, rather than white people.

  41. Toxic - everything you said was correct.

    And I'm sure I'm not the first to point this out, but it bears repeating for anyone whose sole experience of NOLA was the French Quarter - and maybe Uptown or the Garden District - that the city, as well as the state, has been a fucking basketcase for decades and probably longer. The city has always been nearly ungovernable and barely functioned under the best of circumstances. A stagnant economy, a permanent underclass, a public education system that was worse than no education system, and a level of corruption that made Chicago look like a model of civic administration.

    And everyone who knew anything at all about NOLA knew about all that. And it didn't matter as long as there was Mardi Gras, and jazz, and food and booze and colorful characters.

    And now everyone's surprised that The Big Easy, the City That Care Forgot, did not handle a massive natural catastrophe well.

    Watching that stupid woman crying on TV I was actually wishing that Edwin Edwards was still the governor, cos it takes a crook to run that place.

    Or - speaking of zombies - can we get someone to reanimate Huey P.?

  42. Ken Layne wrote:

    "Another sign of hope: A black entertainer apparently said something that didn't show the proper ass-kissing deference to Our President. Black and an entertainer (probably a gansta rapper)?Another sign of hope: A black entertainer apparently said something that didn't show the proper ass-kissing deference to Our President. Black and an entertainer (probably a gansta rapper)?"

    Maybe somebody should point out to the black entertainer that it was the mayor who told everyone to evacaute but didn't make arrangements to evacaute those who couldn't get out on their own. What does he have against against the poor downtrodden of NO?

  43. "White people aren't keeping black people down; black people are keeping black people down."

    Come on DB--you were emphatic--tell us what's wrong with black people!

  44. FYI, here's what Britain's 'The Independent' newspaper (well, their website) is telling readers about the disaster in NOLA: http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/article309938.ece

  45. tell us what's wrong with black people!

    Uggh.

    There *was* a somewhat cool thread going on here about cannabalism and emergency ethics, with some gallows humor.

  46. Yeah...I went too far. Sorry 'bout that.

    Strike it if you like.

  47. Wow, some limey's telling us how Bush/FEMA f'ed up, and didn't even mention the state of Louisiana or New Orleans f'ed up as well. Yup, not forgetting to cover all bases on culpability for Katrina damage. No siree.
    You know you're doing good reporting on Hurricane Katrina when you're in a country several thousand miles away and using 2ndary sources. Next time I get my Katrina news, it'll be from the Independent or maybe the Asia Times...somewhere good and far away, to keep proper perspective you know.

  48. 4 days into this, desperate people would be DRINKING FLOOD WATERS, not eating corpses. Sadly, eating corpses -- if well cooked -- is probably healthier than drinking the shit floating around in New Orleans. Ignoring the likely toxicity, it's full of bacteria just itching to give the undernourished and dehydrated a lethal case of the runs.

  49. "http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/article309938.ece"

    haikuguy,

    This article implies that the relief effort would have proceded on a tighter timeline if Condi Rice was not buying shoes at the time the storm neared and similar speculations.

    OK, and if only King George III had been more on-the-ball when the American Revolution started, he could have saved many of his countrymen and assests as well.

    Government inertia is a great blessing in the long run. Imagine, as will probably be the case soon enough, that the US federal government has the tools to solve a problem like Katrina brought with the utmost efficiency and efficacy. What would stop them from solving other perceived problems with the same powerful tools at hand.

    BTW, this story makes no reference to cannibalism.

  50. "I think people are upset in large part because they don't want to realize that the only thing that seperates an America from a 3rd world hell hole can be destroyed in a night and there is no magic protecting us."

    Magic is toxic.

  51. Or - speaking of zombies - can we get someone to reanimate Huey P.?

    You know, Huey Long may have been a demagogue with dictatorial ambitions, but I'll bet that the Kingfish would have had men and material arriving in NO within 24 hours after the levee broke, and he would have given the finger to any Feds or city officials that tried to stop him.

    The black people in Louisiana tend to remember Huey Long fondly, as he was the first governor in Louisiana history to act like he gave a shit whether they lived or died. He was cynical about it, and he certainly indulged in some of the race-bating endemic in Southern politics of the time, but there was also this priceless quote directed at the head of the KKK -

    Quote me as saying that that Imperial bastard will never set foot in Louisiana, and that when I call him a sonofabitch I am not indulging in profanity, but am referring to the circumstances of his birth. (from T. Harry Williams' biography of Long)

    Interesting note - Huey Newton, one of the founders of the Black Panthers, was named after Long.

  52. Mark: I agree...Huey would've handled it.

    Maybe somebody should point out to the black entertainer that it was the mayor who told everyone to evacaute but didn't make arrangements to evacaute those who couldn't get out on their own.

    And maybe someone should also tell him that the Mayor didn't declare the mandatory evac until George Bush urged him to.

  53. Well, I'm told that Nagin said he didn't order the evacuation because he couldn't figure out how to get everyone out of the city.

  54. From FEMA's website:

    "Preparing America

    In the event of a terrorist attack, natural disaster or other large-scale emergency, the Department of Homeland Security will assume primary responsibility on March 1st for ensuring that emergency response professionals are prepared for any situation. This will entail providing a coordinated, comprehensive federal response to any large-scale crisis and mounting a swift and effective recovery effort. The new Department will also prioritize the important issue of citizen preparedness. Educating America's families on how best to prepare their homes for a disaster and tips for citizens on how to respond in a crisis will be given special attention at DHS."

    So much for that excuse. Quick, fellas, tell me we're about to turn the corner.

  55. Mark,

    And that's the whole damn problem of Louisiana politics!
    The whole level of corruption pervading the state makes it hard to do a damn thing without some iron-fisted tyrant. Huey only made it worse because it was partly through his skullduggery and favoritism that his policies got through, the whole Leche scandal exposed the terrible level of corruption that underlined the whole Long system (Leche though couldn't keep it under the rug and so got caught).
    What's even worse is that Huey's brother, Earl, got elected twice for being a Longist (meaning more corruption and roads, yippee!). And then, we had the 4 terms of Edwin Edwards, who while not as powerful as Huey, who kept alive the whole shitty system of corruption, culminating with his 4th election in the Race from Hell.

    Louisiana is getting better, what with Edwards and many of his cronies in jail, but after so many years of crap and all the honest and hardworking people usually moving out of state it's not surprising that we are still in the bottom of the barrel.
    Funny story though, my maternal grandfather, God rest his soul, told me that when he was a little kid that his father worked as a prosecutor in Baton Rouge and when he had a short meeting with Huey, of course my grandfather's family was anti-Long so the visit was unpleasant. During their talk, Huey tried to shake my grandfather's hand, and my grandfather kicked him in the shin. Smart little bastard, eh?
    Also, my former high school produced Huey's "assassin," so go Bears and sic semper tyrannis.

    So,
    F*** HUEY P LONG AND F*** HIS ZOMBIE!

  56. "F*** HUEY P LONG AND F*** HIS ZOMBIE!"

    See, now that brings up the often asked question: is it possible to obtain consent from an adult zombie for purposes of sexual gratification?

    ...Well that's a difficult question to answer.

    Corpses--along the lines I mentioned above--are easy. No--not that kind of easy! ...You can't obtain any kind of consent from a corpse, but with some zombies it may be possible.

    Take the gas station attendant from Land of the Dead for instance. Now that guy wasn't much of a talker, not many of them are. ...But he could certainly communicate some kind of consent. Other, lower functioning zombies, could probably do likewise--imagine if one of them were to assume some sort of suggestive position, for instance.

    ...but, once again, if you end up in court, I think the burden of proof is going to be on you to show some kind of evidence of consent. ...and just to be safe, I'd stay away from underage zombies regardless.

    So far, we've only talked about criminal court, but you might want to think about the legal ramifications of a potential civil suit for your zombie escapade. Not that the zombie itself is likely to go out and hire counsel--although I'm sure there are lawyers who would cater to such clients--but the zombie may still have living family members. ...and they may have a claim against you regardless of whether you obtained the zombie's consent.

    ...I think The law's still pretty murky on the subject, but, trust me, you don't want to be the guy that sets the precedent.. So, if you can, try to get the consent of the zombie's living family members first. Indeed, you might want to engage the services of a good probate lawyer before you...um...go after the Zombie Long.

  57. joe,

    What are you talking about?
    Nagin was elected mayor of a major city, he wasn't some piddly politcal-boss-commissar appointed by GREAT LEADER.
    He had political power, he should've used it.
    He had buses, he should've used them, as seen here:
    http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050901/480/flpc21109012015
    He sat on his goddamn hands while the hurricane came, what does that say about him? I just loved how he whined about Bush doing nothing when he had a whole parking lot full of buses that he could've used, he needed to grow some balls and act.
    Ditto Blanco, she runs a state, she can comandeer transport, what was stopping her?

    There's plent of blame for Bush, the "security" president, to show that his legacy has failed, but Jesus H Christ, Nagin had his city prep with FEMA for this, where was his LEADERSHIP? Where was his initiative?
    Furthermore, where was the LA National Guard, and why didn't Blanco order them for last minute evac? Where was her leadership to save the largest city in the state?
    FEMA can only work if the 1st and 2nd responders, the city itself and then the city, knows what its doing and they didn't. Since the Feds failed in what they were doing, being the leaders in the chain-of-command for a disaster, why didn't Nagin or Blanco step up to the plate and show how badly FEMA was working by evacuating their own people?
    EVERYONE FAILED, Bush, DHS, FEMA, Blanco, Nagin, and even the complacent people of NO who never made their protection an issue. The situation was and is FUBAR.

  58. Here's some more on the disintegration of New Orleans from the inside:
    http://www.defenselink.mil/transcripts/2005/tr20050903-3850.html

    Q: What happened to the other police, general?

    GEN. BLUM: Again, that can be best addressed, but what was told to me by the Mayor day before yesterday is many of them lost their homes, many of them lost ability to get to the precinct, many of them who did show up found what they were dealing with so overwhelming and dangerous or threatening to them as an individual that they made the personal decision to not risk their life until the situation made more sense to them. That was an individual decision, it was not the police chief's decision or the mayor's decision. I think that the mayor and police chief are working right now to reconstitute the New Orleans Police Department, but that question would much better be addressed to them for detail.
    ...

    Q: One quick follow-up. Is it fair to say, using the convention center as an example, that one reason it took until Friday to get aid in is the National Guard needed time to build up a response team with military police to ensure law and order because the New Orleans Police Department had degraded so much?

    GEN. BLUM: That is not only fair, it is accurate. You've concisely stated exactly what was needed, and I told you why. We took the time to build the right force. The outcome was superb. No lives hurt, nobody injured. It was done almost invisibly.

    Q: And you estimate there's about a third of the New Orleans Police Department left. Do you remember about how many are in the New Orleans Police Department?

    GEN. BLUM: On a normal day they should have 1,500 paid officers in New Orleans, give or take. Some people have said it's 1,650. It's in the rough order of 1,500-man police force, and I think the mayor told me they're down to less than 500.

    In other words, the cops of NO, the ones who are supposed to keep law and order in the city, ran away or as some photos showed took hand in the looting, but the General is being courteous since we wouldn't want to create a strain in the relief effort. Of course a large number could've been killed by the hurricane, looters, or by themselves (several did commit suicide), but to lose 2/3 from all that, doubtful.
    Furthermore, shouldn't the police precints have backup generators and other contingency plans themselves for this so as to know who and what still remains and then act from there, since 500 is not a totally impotent force? That's unacceptable for the ordained law and order of a town as large and as rich as New Orleans to just fall apart.
    If they were present, they could've have a coordinated a commandeering plan of the stores in the greater NO area to at least get some aid distributed to the stranded population and keep down the full blown looters/predators, but they weren't. So chalk one up the NO po-po! Hoo-ray.

    Now, if Nagin and the NO po-po were zombies, then we might be getting somewhere...

  59. Right. Boilerplate from a website totally trumps the actual law and power structure for disaster situations.

  60. Not to push blame away from Nagin, but who was going to drive those buses? Civil servants are generally craven in the best of times, but in a bureaucracy as famously inept and corrupt as New Orleans' you'd probably have to get union permission, signatures from 5 levels of NO government, and triple-overtime to get authorization to work the drivers on their off days, assuming there were any left in the city by the time this paper-pushing was completed.

  61. I can't help but notice that the mayor of New Orleans and his staff were competent enough to get their OWN asses out of the city in time. Why were they not in the Superdome or the convention center maintaining order? What in Hell do they think they get a salary for...,to bitch and moan 'cause Bush or the Feds or Whitey or, golly jee, SOME one did not come and do their jobs for them??!

    Speaking of the Superdome and the Convention Center: There were reports of rampant violence and even the raping of kids. Where were the MEN while all this was going on? (ya know, Homey, bein a man is spose ta mean mo than jus bein bout swingin' yo tool aroun an gettin yo groov on.)

    And the cops quitting because they didn't want to risk their lives or because they were TIRED !!?? Craven bunch of bastards. They aren't worth a bucket of what was left in the Superdome restrooms. They should be fired for cause and their precious retirements disallowed; mark my words though: a month from now they not only will still have their jobs, they will be demanding back pay!

  62. What in Hell do they think they get a salary for...,to bitch and moan 'cause Bush or the Feds or Whitey or, golly jee, SOME one did not come and do their jobs for them

    Well, see, the victims of the hurricane are mostly black. Whenever anything bad happens to a large group of black people it is vitally important that we study the situation carefully until we can determine which white person is to blame for the whole thing.

    Now, the mayor of New Orleans is black. So that's no good. It can't be his fault; he's black. Black politicians can get caught on video smoking crack with hookers and it's still somehow the white man's fault. So clearly, this guy's not to blame.

    The governor of Louisiana showed promise at first. She is, after all, white -- a woman too, alas, but at least she's the right color. Unfortunately it turns out she's a Democrat. As we all know, nothing bad that has ever happened to black people has ever been the fault of Democrats. At least not since the 1960s -- there were bad Democrats before then, but today we understand that they were actually all Republicans pretending to be Democrats.

    So we have to check the next step up. Hey, awesome -- George Bush. White as a sheet, Republican, and according to rumor actually drinks the blood of black children with dinner every night. There you go; now we know whose fault the whole thing is.

    All we have to do now is figure out exactly why the entire thing is his fault. My personal theory is that Bush failed to have his oil industry masters send tanker ships to whisk the people away to safety, and thereby doomed them all to die. There is a huge problem with this theory, though, which is that everyone knows that Bush would have just dumped all the black people into the Gulf of Mexico to prevent them from voting against him in 2008.

    So, the mystery continues. We know Bush is to blame for the whole thing, but the exact reason why remains elusive.

  63. "and just to be safe, I'd stay away from underage zombies regardless."

    The critical question is whether zombies continue to age post-mortem. For example, if a 17-year-old girl dies and zombifies, is she perpetually 17 for purposes of assigning statutes, or is she a year later considered above the age of consent, even though her body ceases aging?

  64. *ahem*

    To begin, Edwin Edwards was and is a scoundrel, but I used to buy amphetamines from his niece, so the family isn't all that bad.

    Secondly, don't you know that only a propaganda-fed Bushbot would try to divert all blame from W in this situation, Mr. Sarcasm? Get with the program.

  65. Does anybody remember when Ken Layne was sane.

    No.

  66. "The critical question is whether zombies continue to age post-mortem. For example, if a 17-year-old girl dies and zombifies, is she perpetually 17 for purposes of assigning statutes, or is she a year later considered above the age of consent, even though her body ceases aging?"

    Exactly! ...and until somebody sets some precedent there, it's an open question. ...and I would expect different states to answer that question differently.

    I've also been thinking about the legal ramifications of zombification on family law. I think most people are okay in that vows are typically "'til death do you part" ...although I'm not sure that's a part of most civil ceremonies. Anyway, the point is that I don't think people will be legally compelled to pay alimony to a zombie spouse.

    ...But child support is another question entirely. It's not clear to me that if, for instance, your divorced spouse is the primary care giver for your zombie children, that you aren't legally responsible for child support. ...and, along the lines of the question you asked above, when, exactly, should that support responsibility end? When the zombie child turns 18? Is the zombie child perpetually 13?

    ...I don't know the answer, but this would be a very interesting time to be in the legal profession.

  67. and that the mayor and the governor are the ones charged with preparing the city and the state for disaster preparedness.

    I seem to remember the DHS saying a few years back that from here on out they would be running the response to all disaster/terrorist actions. Don't get me wrong, the mayor and the governor are both fuckups of the highest order, but a plurality of the blame (at least) lies with the Federal government.

  68. Sorry, Toxic, that "Boilerplate from a website" is a statement of federal policy. FEMA is in charge of emergency management.

    That's not to say the city and state governments didn't fuck up, only that such an observation is an irrelevant diversion. This was the feds' responsibility, however much you want to wish it wasn't. I don't give a damn what bushbots on this site have to say - FEMA takes over when there is a disaster, because it is assumed (absolutely rightly in this case) that the locals authorities will be unable to manage it themselves. You might as well tell me that FEMA's response was inadequate because the streets were flooded. Of course the streets were flooded, and of course the local government couldn't manage the response to the catastrophe.

  69. Robinson has retracted his claims of cannibalism.

    It is too late, the damage is done. Once you lay the "race/cannibal" card face up on the table it cannot be moved to the discard pile.

    Personally, I would be fussy in selecting the corpse for dinner. My choice would be a young, overweight transvestite. The meat would be tender, there would be less hair to remove, and you would be saving some grieving family member from the embarrassment of claiming the body.

    TWC - any recommendations for the proper wine?

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