"'Scuze Me While I Kiss This Guy" (Don't Ask, Do Tell Edition)

Reader Bill Kalles (aka NoStar) points to an account of the new Jimi Hendrix bio that says the geetar great played gay to get out of the Army (which he had joined only to avoid arrest):

In regular visits to the base psychiatrist at Fort Campbell, Ky., in spring 1962, Hendrix complained that he was in love with one of his squad mates and that he had become addicted to masturbating, [Charles R.] Cross, [author of Room Full of Mirrors] writes. Finally, Capt. John Halbert recommended him for discharge, citing his "homosexual tendencies."

Hendrix used to say he was discharged "after breaking his ankle on a parachute jump, but his medical records do not mention such an injury."

Move over Ho, and let Jimi take over postscript: "Contrary to his later image, Hendrix was an avowed anti-communist who exhibited little unease about the escalating U.S. role in Vietnam."

Whole thing here.

Reader Kalles also helpfully points to this site dedicated to misheard rock lyrics named for a popular misunderstood Hendrix lyric: Kissthisguy.com.

Comments

[Scott Ferguson]

Who cares? His music was brilliant. Rest in peace, Jimi.

[Jeff]

That's awesome. I wish they had done something like that in Spinal Tap.

[Douglas Fletcher]

The moral of the story is that you should run for President, then it takes forever for anyone to get ahold of your military records, even when you "release" them.

[Jennifer]

I worked with a New Age bimbo in college who was absolutely convinced that I am the reincarnation of Hendrix, since he died a few minutes before I was born (though hundreds of miles away). For what it's worth, I don't remember faking gayness or breaking my ankle in a parachute jump, but then again I don't remember how to play the guitar either.

[Randolph Carter]

I remember when I was about 12 years old, rocking out to Hendrix, and I was completely convinced that part of All Along the Watchtower went "Said the cabbage to the beef." I didn't know what a drunkard was at the time, so I guess talking food made more sense.

[Russ R]

"addicted to masturbating"?

There's a bathroom on the right.

[jack]

If he didn't want to be in the Army, why did he volunteer for the 101st Airborne?

[Jenni Hendrix]

Jack--
They said I could "go up real high and come down slowly." I thought they were talking about drugs.

[joe]

He was, like, totally wasted that day.

Sitting on his bunk, muttering "I'm an eagle, man, hear me scream." Next thing he knows, he's falling out of an airplane.

[Phil]

Bad news, Randolph: It isn't "drunkard," either. It's "joker."

[Randolph Carter]

I'm going to go cry now.

[Jennifer]

Too much confusion, Randolph? Can't get no relief?

[NoStar]

Randolph,
I bet you feel "wrapped up like a douche and other rubbers in the night."

Cheer Up! I never met a mondegreen I didn't like.

[Matt Furey]

Businessmen must be drinking his wine and digging his earth.

[Randolph Carter]

I'll just have to ask the Axis, I suppose.

[SPD]

Hate to be a stick in the mud (well, not really), but I think you're crediting Hendrix for lyrics that were originally written by Bob Dylan.

Businessmen, they drink my wine/ plowmen dig my earth/None of them along the line/ know what any of it is worth.

Was Dylan prophesizing the rising encroachment of eminent domain? Discuss.

[SPD]

Medieval woman... Medieeeeval woman...

[Randolph Carter]

Businessmen, they drink my wine/ plowmen dig my earth/None of them along the line/ can find an appropriate fair market value for my property.

[Jennifer]

Does anybody remember that old Seventies song where the chorus is some woman singing "I never can say good-bye, boy?" Did anyone else think she was saying "I never can say the Bible," or was that just my latent atheism poking through?

[Warren]

What Scott said. The man was a mucical god, the rest is so much arble-garble.

[bill]

Jennifer - are you thinking of "Never can say good-bye" by the Jackson 5 (1971)?

Also covered by Gloria Gaynor in 1974.

Chorus:
Never can say goodbye
No no no no, i
Never can say goodbye

Even though the pain and heartache
Seems to follow me wherever I go
Though I try and try to hide my feelings
They always seem to show
Then you try to say you?re leaving me
And I always have to say no...

Tell me why
Is it so

That i
Never can say goodbye
No no no no, i
Never can say goodbye

Everytime I think I?ve had enough
I start heading for the door
There?s a very strange vibration
That ? itches me right to the core
It says it?s time to run
You know you?ll love her more and more

Tell me why
Is it so
Don?t wanna let yo go

(instrumental)

(chorus)

I keep thinkin that our problems
Soon are all gonna work out
But there?s that same unhappy feeling and there?s that anguish, there?s that doubt
It?s that same old did ya hang up
You carry with you all the time

Tell me why
Is it so
Don?t wanna let you go

[Jennifer]

I don't know if that's it or not, Bill; I could have sworn the chorus was "never can say goodbye, BOY." Here, let me sing the chorus for you:

I never can say the Bible. . . oooh-who-oooh. . .

[Mo]

Don't feel bad Randolph. For well over a decade, I thought the "Jesus loves you more than you will know" line in Mrs Robinson was "She's a slut more than you will know".Don't feel bad Randolph. For well over a decade, I thought the "Jesus loves you more than you will know" line in Mrs Robinson was "She's a slut more than you will know".

[Rick Barton]

Jennifer,

Of course that was definitely "Never can say good-bye" by Gloria Gaynor. "I never can say the Bible" was a mid 70's Bulgarian folk song protesting the lack of religious liberty.

Of course I definitely just made up the last bit. Definitely.

[Jennifer]

Rick-

Don't you think it DOES sound like "I never can say the Bible," though?

And there's that other Seventies love song: "I'm not talkin' 'bout the linen, and I don't want to change your life, but there's a warm wind blowing the stars around, and I'd really love to see you tonight."

Wise choice. Talking about linen totally KILLS the romance on a date.

[Rick Barton]

For years, I thought that the lyrics to the Beatle's song "Norwegian Wood" that went: "I told her I didn?t and crawled off to sleep in the bath" were "I told her I didn?t call on her just to sleep in the bath."

[Rick Barton]

Jennifer,

Well, to tell you the truth, I don't actually remember "Never can say good-bye" -I just Googled it.

"I'm not talkin' 'bout the linen" Hehe!

[linguist]

Sad but true: I'm named after a misheard lyric.

My father thought the line in "Grooving on a Sunday afternoon" was "you and me and Leslie" instead of "you and me _endlessly_".

[Jennifer]

Linguist--

Speaking as somebody named after the dead chick in a crappy Erich Segal novel, I don't feel sorry for you at all.

[NoStar]

Yeah but Jennifer Love, at least you never have to say you're sorry.

[NoStar]

It's "I'm not talkin 'bout linoleum."

You know, stuff like setting up a house together, choosing china patterns, wall colors, and linoleum.

[Eric the .5b]

but there's a warm wind blowing the stars around

Damn, that's some wind. But I think the stars were out. 😉

(No shame in it - I've misunderstood loads of lyrics. For double the fun, I was a huge R.E.M. fan for years...)

[Jennifer]

What's really sad, Eric, is that the star-blowing wind is the REAL lyric.