Courthouse Jesters

This week a pair of activists got arrested at the federal courthouse in Hempstead, Long Island, for telling one lawyer joke too many--a.k.a. "creating a disturbance." Sure, it starts with lawyers, but the next thing you know they're making fun of dentists, and we all know where that can lead.

[Thanks to Harvey Silverglate for the link.]

Comments

[sage]

What's 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?

A lawyer's tie.

[badum'ching]

Why do they bury lawyers 100 feet into the ground?

Cause deep down they're good people.

[Warren]

Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California get all the lawyers?

Cause Jersey got first pick.

[Matthew]

"I'd knock you teeth out you anti-dentite bastard."

[Cosmo Kramer]

Sure it starts with a few jokes...., then before you know it you're saying Lawyers should go to special schools

[Jerry Sienfeld]

They do go to special schools.

[Cosmo Karmer]

Ahaa !!!!!!!!!!!

[Pro Libertate]

I met a very old attorney who told me law school used to be very different. Getting in wasn't the big deal--not failing out was. He said about 1/3 of the class he matriculated with actually graduated. Now that's the way law school should be. Today, it's hard to graduate at the top of your class, but it's not hard at all to get through (that's true at pretty much any school, including (maybe especially) the "top" schools).

Two lawyers were standing on a street corner as a woman walks past. One lawyer turns to the other and says, "I'd like to screw her." The other scratches his head and says, "Out of what?"

[Solitudinarian]

A woman runs into her gynecologist's office, frantic with worry, and demands to see the doctor.

Once she sees him, she says, "Doctor, doctor, it's good that you're here! I need to know - is it possible to get pregnant from anal intercourse?"

The doctor answers, "Of course - where do you think lawyers come from?"

[Ruthless]

Those two old farts inspired me. I'm now not gonna settle for being a WalMart greeter to supplement my Social Security; I'm gonna go for court jester.
The pay would be about equal, don't you figure?
Hofstra University, by the way, is just north of there. Beloved daughter graduated from same.

[sage]

Solitudinarian, GREAT JOKE! It was a joke, right?

[andy]

Why was it such a tragedy when the van full of ten lawyers fell off a cliff?

The van held twelve.

[Shawn Smith]

Pro Liberate,

When I read that only 1/3 of a Law School class graduated, I thought that was kind of high. The first computer science class I had at UNLV in 1983 started with about 25 people, and ended with about five. And that was with a MUCH easier professor than was originally scheduled to teach the class. Then again, chances are the attorney you met only attended with the best students.

Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.

[Brendan Perez]

What's the optimal weight of a lawyer?

3 pounds, including the urn.

For this and other lawyer jokes, I point you here and here

[thoreau]

A Russian, a Cuban, and 2 Americans were on a train. One of the Americans was a lawyer.

The Cuban took out some fine cigars and gave them to his traveling companions. While they savored the cigars, he took a few puffs before throwing it out the window. "That's an expensive cigar!" one of the Americans cried. "Why did you waste it?"

"Where I'm from," said the Cuban, "these cigars are plentiful and cheap. We have way too many, so we can afford to waste a few."

A little while later the Russian took out a bottle of fine vodka. He poured each of his traveling companions a glass. While they savored their drinks, he took a few sips from his bottle and then threw it out the window. "Why did you waste it?" cried the American. "That's very expensive vodka!"

"In my country," said the Russian, "this type of vodka is plentiful. We can afford to waste a little bit of it."

The American thought about it for a little while, and then he threw the lawyer out the window.

[Isaac Bartram]

I heard a joke on a British TV comedy show years ago. I went something like this:

The witch doctors in some African country were having problems because a shortage of leeches. The British government had agreed to help by sending over a boatload of real estate agents.

When I heard that I thought that if the joke were told here it would have involved sending over lawyers. Interesting cultural difference, no.

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