Long-Haired Freaky People Need Not Apply in the Hermit Kingdom

What do you do when you run one of the poorest, most pathetic countries in the world and you've run out of other ways to torment the misbegotten souls unlucky enough to be born under your bad sign?

The BBC reports that if you're Kim Jong-il in North Korea, you go Ian Hunter all over the men by insisting on tonsorial short back 'n' sides, and run TV commercials titled "Let us trim our hair in accordance with Socialist lifestyle."

And for god's sake, says the Willie Loman of Pyongyang, don't forget about the shoes, either:

Hair is a "very important issue that shows the people's cultural standards and mental and moral state", argues Minju Choson, a government daily.

"No matter how good the clothes, if one does not wear tidy shoes, one's personality will be downgraded."

It's a safe bet that whistling in elevators is as verboten as portraits of the Kims seem to be these days.

Whole wretched haircut story here.

We await the North Korean cover of the song "Signs."

Reason has assayed the importance of hair here, in reporting on the way in which Afghan men dissented from the Taliban by getting Leonardo DiCaprio "Titanic" cuts.

And the January issue analyzes Kim's pre-Team America star turn as the ultimate opera and film buff.

The BBC link comes courtesy of Swedish free trader, shoulder-length-hair-wearin' Johan Norberg, author of the excellent In Defense of Global Capitalism. His site is here and his interview with Reason is here.

Comments

[Ball of Confusion]

If Kim was here he'd tell you to your face,
man you are failing to show the people's cultural standards and mental and moral staaaate...

[Ran]

What's not being reported Nick, is that Kim also requires a full Brazilian wax...

[m]

Aw, give the guy a break. He's ronery.

[Jeff]

I love how long hair leeches energy from the body and drains vitality. And if everyone needs a haircut every 15 days I assume there is a battery of state barbers in every city.

[tijjer]

Thing I like about NK is that it's currently the world leader in the But Our Name Says We're Free game.

For the play at home version--look for the following words in a country's name:

Republic
Democratic
People's

The more of those you have in your name, the more repressive your regime is! As far as I can tell, the DPRK is THE force to be reckoned with! It's the only country I can think of that's pulled off the elusive and legendary trifecta. Oooh!

[Jason]

The Dear Leader, I assure you, does not whistle in the elevator.

[TWC]

I remember how surprised I was to find out that "a good Marine gets a haircut once a week whether he needs it or not." I thought "Huh?"

Why? Tradition, good grooming, uniformity, discipline, etc.

I pointed out that John Phillip Sousa had hair to his waist.

They said: So what, he was a got dam band leader not a true Marine.

But, said I, he was a Marine and a general to boot. Besides all those other Marines from day one to WW I had great mustaches and long hair.

The crazy thing about all that hair stuff, particularly in the Marine Corps is that the buzz cut was to control bugs not to maintain discipline. It is also no coincidence that the buzz cut was popular at the same time that buzz cuts were first popular at the dawn of the 20th Century. So it wasn't even all that traditional either.

But I digress.....

And all you peace freaks think we shouldn't nuke North Korea? Well, I rest my case.

[AJS]

tijjer, that has always made me laugh too. East Germany? The German Democratic Republic! Uhhhhh, when did people excersise this wonderful democracy?? I am always suspicious of any country that has to advertise itself as any of the three adjectives you use, just as I wonder about news outlets that advertise themselves as "Fair and Balanced" 🙂

[Mr. Nice Guy]

"I love how long hair leeches energy from the body and drains vitality."

What about Samson? And Samson, by the way, gets me lifted.

[Warren]

I've been googling for an image of a "Keep America beautiful - Get a haircut" billboard, but aside from the Ray Fenwick album cover, I came up empty.

Oh and,
I pointed out that John Phillip Sousa had hair to his waist.
WTF!?

[Brendan Perez]

You sure that these aren't school administrators defending/pushing uniform policies and rolling around in zero-tolerance rules?

[Kevin Carson]

TWC,

You're right, there was probably a greater variety of shaggy head and facial hair styles in the 19th century than the kids at Haight ever dreamed of.

I think short hair was originally part of the 20s revolt against Victorian values. Not only the short hair, but the Gary Cooperish rejection of Victorian sentimentality, became part of the WWII generation's style.

It's true that the boomers were in revolt against the mores of their "greatest generation" parents. But the people who grew up between 1920 and 1940 created just as big a rupture with the social norms of their own parents.

For a fictionalized illustration of how far Victorian sensibilities differed from those of the post-WWI era, check out Jack Finney's Time and Again.

[Stevo Darkly]

"people's ... democratic ... republic" -- good points.

I remember back during the early 1980s, at the climax of the Cold War, when so many on the Left were arguing that communist governments weren't so bad, it was just "their system" that "the people" of those countries had a right to, just like we had a right to ours.

And I remember reading, in my newspaper's letter page, some nitwit writing, "Why can't the United States set aside right-wing ideology and pursue more peaceable relations with the communist countries? After all, the United States itself is 'a people's republic,' is it not?"

And I remember thinking, "Yeah, but too bad the countries that actually call themselves that, aren't -- dumb ass."

[B.P.]

TWC -- the tight military grooming was also supposedly used to demoralize the enemy on the battlefield by creating the impression that troop strength was large (as in "Herr Field Marshall, the men are reporting that they run into clean-shaven, well-coiffed Americans every day. They must rotate their men on a daily basis!"). This wasn't exclusive to the U.S. military (unless one was on a German u-boat, whose crews came off several-month tours looking like Grizzly Adams).

[john]

you guys suck. you should be shut down.

[Ficke]

For what it's worth, the slogan was: "Beautify America, Get a Haircut." If you "Google" that (Is that a verb now?), you'll get pictures of billboard from the late 60's.