Lousy Timing

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A couple months ago somebody sent me a review DVD of Greg Palast's Bush Family Fortunes (the Battlestar Galactica to Fahrenheit 9/11's Star Wars). I never got around to watching it, but figured I'd give it a look before the polls opened—just so there's no danger that I might vote without realizing that President Bush has connections with Big Oil. I understand Palast has some legitimate journalistic credentials (which he highlights by wearing a fedora and casting quizzical sidelong glances at the camera as he describes his various scoops), but he can't really help coming off like a Michael Moore manqué here. (Among other things, he manques a few hundred pounds.) But the big bust for this picture is that I didn't watch it when I first got it: Palast's lead source for information on Bush's unstellar Air National Guard career is Bill Burkett, the incredible imploding lieutenant colonel whose personal Stalingrad came with Rathergate. D'oh!

Anyway, if there's any reason to hope for a Kerry win today, it's the prospect that all the Inspector Javerts of the Bush/Halliburton/seven-minutes/Carlyle-Group unified theory might join all the retired Vincent-Foster/Mena-Airfield/Starbucks-waitress investigators at some bird sanctuary where we'll never have to hear from them again.

NEXT: Votus Interruptus

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  1. “…just so there’s no danger that I might vote without realizing that President Bush has connections with Big Oil.”

    Hold on a second, what’s this?

  2. Joe–

    You made my morning! I laughed out loud when I read your post. Thanks!

  3. To be replaced with the scandals the liberal media doesn’t want you to know: Kerry wasn’t honorably discharged, and he met with Ho Chi Min and Jane Fonda to discuss strategy while throwing tomatos at POWs. And has had secret meetings with Chirac. Did you know in 2006 he plans to declare martial law and allow France to occupy the United States? They’ll invade through Michigan. Luckily the Michigan Millitia should be reactivated by then.

  4. “I understand Palast has some legitimate journalistic credentials (which he highlights by wearing a fedora …”

    Should have been a dead giveaway: Unless he also has a large card that says “PRESS” on it stuck in his hatband, he’s not a real journalist.

  5. Now THAT’S Gonzo journalism!

    Ar ar ar!

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