Fred Ward, Call Your Agent!

Michael Young's recent musings on James Bond point to a glaring gap in John Kerry's otherwise exhaustive effort to transform himself into John F. Kennedy. Where JFK1 famously based his personal style (and much of his foreign policy) on enthusiastic readings of Ian Fleming's books, Kerry has yet to choose a favorite book series. What's he going to come up with? Harry Potter won't make the cut. (Harry doesn't go to Yale.) Lemony Snicket doesn't have the necessary gravitas. I haven't read the Left Behind books, but I can't imagine they offer much hope for Democrats. Sue Grafton's "P Is For Psycho" series, maybe? Stephen King's unending Dark Tower books might be a possibility, but I don't think even King has read those.

But the key to Kerry's book series choice may be found in what Nick Gillespie called his "Harley-riding, chopper-piloting, reporter-threatening efforts to show executive manliness." Think about it: the x-treme biking, the space traveling, the snowboarding, the para-surfing, the TSA-tweaking in-cabin quarterbacking—it all points to one conclusion. The he-man from Beacon Hill needs beachside reading fit for an iron-skinned superman: It's Remo Williams, The Destroyer, or nothing.