I Scream, You Scream

As Dave Barry would say, I swear I am not making this up. (Link via Best of the Web)

The co-founder of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream is on the road, towing a 12-foot-tall effigy of President Bush with fake flames shooting out of the pants.

Ben Cohen believes it is an acceptable way to point out what he calls the president's lies.

But the real kicker is this: Cohen thinks this stunt is "dignified" and "polite". Here's the full article.

If you prefer your ice cream from the other side of the political aisle, check out Star Spangled Ice Cream, which has flavors like "Nutty Environmentalist" and "Iraqi Road".

Comments

[thoreau]

Star-spangled ice cream? Is even our ice cream now done in "red" and "blue" brands now?

Reminds me of a marketing person who told me that different toothpastes command brand loyalties among different demographics with distinct political views. Maybe instead of the "red vs. blue" we can have "Crest vs. Aquafresh" or something.

[Hanah Metchis]

I prefer non-ideological ice cream, myself. My favorite ice cream ever is Dreyer's/Edy's Dreamery "Black Raspberry Avalance".

[thoreau]

Nothing beats Kopp's Frozen Custard in Milwaukee!

Although my wife has expressed fondness for my homemade stuff. Her favorite flavors are white chocolate raspberry, peanut butter chocolate chip, and mango.

[meep]

Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip is perfection.

[NRO4EVER]

"Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip is perfection."

Breyer's a dirty dirty liberal, and so is his ice cream.
Communist.

[Todd Fletcher]

I wouldn't mind this kind of political theater so much if it were also practiced in Congress. Come on America - let's give British Parliament a run for their money!

[Dan]

The nice thing about this ice cream is that even though it's supposedly "conservative" ice cream, the charities it supports aren't actually conservative ones. "Freedom Alliance" may be *run* by some serious right-wingers, but "scholarships for orphans and children of disabled veterans" is the kind of thing that few people, regardless of political persuasion, would have a problem with.

Whereas buying from Ben & Jerry's means helping finance Greenpeace. Yuck.

[Pro Libertate]

Yes, but Ben & Jerry's is soooo good. Oatmeal Cookie Crunch rules, not to mention the sublimity of Chunky Monkey. Besides, isn't most of the political stuff just window dressing now? Or is Unilever "progressive", too?

[W]

"You don?t support Democrats.

Why should your ketchup?"

W Ketchup

[Mona]

You are all mistaken. The only worthwhile ice cream is Godiva's Belgian Chocolate. Or their rasberry chocolate thingie. Now that I think about it, their New York Chocolate Cheesecake ice cream is also, oh so edible.

Were I to discover that Godiva's underwrites neo-Stalinists or the Aryan Nation, I'd have a serious, serious decision to make. I like to think I'd make the right one, but...

--Mona--

[The Lonewacko Blog]

Perhaps it was Ben and/or Jerry operating the onemanidiot contraption pictured here.

[crimethink]

I buy Lactaid ice cream, because I refuse to support intolerance.

[garym]

Ben and Jerry, merchants of death...

I have to chuckle that such flaming liberals (pun intended) specialize in a product that contributes to the so-called "obesity epidemic."

[Czar]

That's exactly why I've made a point not to buy Ben & Jerry's products for years now.

[Skeptikos]

I gotta admit. Ever since Ann C informed me of my deep traitorous lifestyle...hell, sanity is the last thing I have expected. I say bring on the end days. But first give me a pint of the Dreamery brand. Any flavor will do.

[s.m. koppelman]

I'm sorry, but I have to ask, Ms. Metchis. Does this Pants-On-Fire stunt really bother you?

Thank goodness the Founding Fathers (hallowed be their names) were never associated with movements that condoned lowbrow street theater, like dressing up like Indians, breaking into a cargo ship and destroying property, for instance. Attention-grabbing political theater is, as Cathy Young probably says all the time, un-American.

[s.m. koppelman]

By the way, the PantsOnFireMobile has been meandering around the country for at least a year now, I think. It's been making a local paper somewhere at least a couple of times a week. And As far as I know, Mr. Cohen isn't driving it. People sign up for a go at it and pass it along after a couple of days of driving it around town.

[Sean S.]

This is the kind of low brow hilarity I love to see in my politics. Afterall I am a big believer in the Hunter S. Thompson brand of "Freak Power" and viciously attacking those money grubbers and political nitwits with extreme prejudice. Or in any way that produces the most laughs. Quite frankly I could care less who Ben & Jerry's donate to, and if I cared about where my money went half the time, I probably would be guilty of supporting any number of far left and far right extreme ideas. Who cares, its good ice cream.

[skope]

16 words for 31 flavors. Some one besides Lance is missing a nut. These guys are fricking millionaires, and the best they can do is a lampshade with a picture of Bush's face on it? Shoulda got some of those papier mache folks from the protest circuit. They're all up in NE right now for the DNC anyway. I think all that ice cream made these two lazy.

[Gary Gunnels]

It probably should be noted that neither Ben nor Jerry own Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream; its owned by Unilever. Also, Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream is a monument to capitalism, whether they like it or not. Anyway, I buy their ice cream all the time - its very good stuff.

Star Spangled Banner ice cream sucks - it tastes like fucking cardboard in fact.

Try the Tillamook flavor known as "brown cow."

[Syd Henderson]

Sure it's dignified and polite. It's still got its pants on, doesn't it?

[kevrob]

I refuse to buy B&J's ice cream to protest the Northeast Dairy Compact.

As I write this, I am destroying a pint of Chocolate Almond Joy custard from our neighborhood pizza joint.

I pity the lactose intolerant.

Kevin

[Gary Gunnels]

kevrob,

The Northeast Dairy Compact expired some time ago.

[skope]

Ben & Jerry's owned by Unilever? My my. The very same company that owns Slim Fast. Contrasts the two products aside, the recent dismissal of Whoopie by this very company, for her naughty presidential critique makes it seem as though Unilever would like to ave their ice cream and eat it too. Bravo Unilever. Get 'em fattened up on ice cream, then sell them the slimfast (their website also shows their new line of low carb foods, have to keep up with the trends). Please the the lefties with Bush's pants burning, please the righties by firing Whoopie for her burning bush talk. Well done.

[kevrob]

B&J don't own B&J anymore. Anglo-Dutch Unilever does. The Dairy Compact is kaput. I guess I can call my boycott off.

But I still ain't buying any "peace pops."

I wonder how lefties like B&J rationalize selling out to EEeeeeeevvvvvviiiiilllllllll foreign owners?

Kevin

[Death]

Selling both Ice cream and Slim-Fast is not a corporate contradiction. Different people want different things (and sometimes the same people want different things); Unilever offers good products to satisfy a variety of needs. Life is not an episode of Crossfire.

Apparently Ben got rich enough in spite of his beliefs to tour the country indulging his own predilections. With that yokel out of the business we might all enjoy our frozens treats without the immediate gag reflex provoked by celebrity politics.

[Stephen Fetchet]

I plan on announcing some dignified political brands of ice cream pretty soon too.

The first will be Bush's Insane Moron Warmonger Chocolate Chip Genocide, which will taste like normal chocolate chip ice cream, but will be beefed up with concentrated raw metamucil fiber and chunks of Ex-Lax for the chips. It's motto will be "You deserved it; you brought it on yourself with your corrupt dietary policies over the years, so don't go to war on us now just because your food fights back for a change."

The next flavor will be Kerry's Pistachio Pander. It will be denatured, non-fat, non-sodium, non-sugar, non-lactose frozen and flavorless soy milk. Depending on what day it is, and what the polls say, how the wind blows, what part of the country you are in, etc, you can add flavor to it yourself. It will be called Pistachio Pander, because even though it technically doesn't contain nuts, you can't help but get the sense that something about it is a little nutty. (Not to be confused with Howard Dean I-Scream, which is packed with nutty goodness, or good nuttiness, depending).

The next flavor will be Johnny Edwards Fast Talking Surprise. It will be comprised of two flavors - cultural degeneracy and and ground up chunks of the holy bible, representing "Two Americas". We would have gone for Chocolate and Vanilla, but cocoa beans are imported, as are vanilla beans, so we had to go with some homegrown products that really represented America - and what represents America better to its enemies than the paradoxical pair, cultural degeneracy, and an amazing respect for Christianity? Two great tastes that taste great together...

Later on we'll add Cheney's Choice. It will be made out of OOOOOOOiiiiiilllll!, of course, because as Justin Raimondo will tell you, it's all about the OOOOOOOiiiiiilllll! Of course out of respect to the Veep's unique situation, it will be heart conscious - it will come in heavy diesel, kerosene, and for dieters, a Light Sweet Crude flavor. We are also planning a 90-weight fudgesicle, depending on whether or not we win the big Halliburton contract to sell tanning oil to the troops deployed in Iraq.

We'll also add a new line of Congressional Confections. This will be a full range of ice creams, promising all sorts of flavors for all sorts of people. The neat thing about this line, is that while the label will say one thing, the taste will be something else entirely. So if the label says "Low Fat" - you'll get pork flavor, and like it! If it says it's in the bargain line, it will cost $650 billion over 5 years, rather than $450 billion over 10.

And finally, we'll add Supreme Court Surprise. This unique ice cream will have 9 different flavors arrayed from left to right. Over time in your freezer, all the ice cream will migrate leftwards, until only a little bit of chocolate, and a little bit of pure vanilla remain on the right. Meanwhile, all the rest of the flavors combine somewhere between the center and the left, in a thoroughly incomprehensible swirl mixture, that only a nimble-tongued lawyer could enjoy.

[speedwell]

Kevrob, this poor deprived lactose-intolerant chick appreciates your sympathy.

Now... gotta skull a catchy slogan... hmmm... how about:

"Lactose intolerant--and tyranny intolerant!"

Uh, back to the drawing board.

[Bob]

Hanah is right. Black Raspberry Avalanche. OMG.

As for the POFM, I expect it would crack me up. However, I don't see it being the most persuasive, er, argument.

[joe]

"Iraqi Road?" Appetizing...

[patrick]

Don't forget... Ben and Jerry are evil because they push rape on helpless citizens.

[R C Dean]

It's still got its pants on, doesn't it?

That's how you can tell its a Republican President!

Seriously, though, you'd think the Dems would be low-keying the pants jokes, what with Trousergate and all.

[skope]

Contrasts, Death, not contradiction (granted, I forgot the word 'of' after, but if that's what got you confused, I honestly don't know if that's better or worse). Contrasts of product, contrasts of PR choices, that's what I was looking at. And my conclusion (as noted by "bravo" and "well done") was genuine. I was acknowledging the companies acumen for, as Sean Connery once said to KZJ, "playing both shides."

Perhaps you need to turn down the sarcasm detector, the whole web is not a snark hunt, and you are not the game warden. This transaction has been noted.

[Jason Ligon]

Ben & Jerry's is now perfectly acceptable to buy since, as Gary points out, they were bought outright by Unilever. The CEO search story that led up to that is hilarious. Note to self, you often get what you pay for in icecream and leadership.

My beef with them is you can't find their best flavor around here any more. They used to have Coffee Toffee Crunch, which is far superior to the Vanilla Toffee Crunch you can find everywhere.

Hanah is right, Edy's Dreamery brands totally rock. Tiramisu icecream is a thing of beauty.

If you've never tried Godiva's brand, you are missing out, too. I swear a pint of the stuff weighs 30 lbs.

[joe]

It's always interesting to watch how any given conservative reacts a choice between market dynamics and monopolies. I mean, you all talk the talk about consumer choice promoting innovation, quality, etc., but some of you support allowing those with sufficient clout to stifle choice, and some of you don't.

Hi Steve.

[Jim Walsh]

As a former resident of the Jersey Shore, my vote is for Kohr Brothers' Frozen Custard. Large cone, chocolate/vanilla swirl, topped with rainbow jimmies. Nectar of the gods, I'm tellin' youse...

[Dan]

Thank goodness the Founding Fathers (hallowed be their names) were never associated with movements that condoned lowbrow street theater, like dressing up like Indians, breaking into a cargo ship and destroying property, for instance

The Founding Fathers weren't dippy enough to claim that they were being "dignified" and "polite" when they staged the Boston Tea Party, s.m.

By itself, the Pants-on-fire-mobile is just weird. It's Cohen's idea that the P.o.f.M. is dignified that pushes the story into the realm of the truly bizarre.

[s.m. koppelman]

It's called being wry, Dan.

[so there]

It's called being silly, s.m. koppelman.