The 10 Types of Democratic Reader

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The Democratic National Convention Committee, on its registration form for reporters covering next week's convention, asks for the publication's "target audience." Here are all the options listed; you can choose only one:

General Audience
Disabled Community
Native-American
Religious
African-Amerian
Gay, Lesbian
Seniors, Veterans
Youth
Asian-American
Hispanic
Trade

Suggestions?

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  1. ” I have to go plot against my bitter enemies in the People’s Front of Judea.”

    Splitters!

  2. Now what am I going to do with my spare time?

    How about some laundry?

  3. To entice Libertarians, they might need to add a category for Frank Burns impressionists.

  4. thoreau, we must fight the real enemy!

  5. The Judean People’s Front?

  6. They don’t list the target audience of news : the 40% of women who are soap opera addicts. No story is carried that has no eternal drama aspect.

  7. They left off Stupid and/or Ignorant.

  8. I would say trade presuming its not refering to Unions or to tradecraft workers (plumbers, electricians, that sort of thing).

  9. Does “Trade” mean “Union”?

  10. What, for Reason? In the absence of “persons who cultivate a self-image as rugged individualists”, I think “general audience” will do just fine. Your readers aren’t really supermen.

  11. For Reason it is “Disabled”. You are trying to correct defective thinking.

  12. You mean that publications that cater to young, gay, asian-american, disabled veteren union organizers can only pick one category? Bigots.

  13. Seriously
    International A.N.S.W.E.R

    Not so
    MoonBats

    Well, I guess those two are the same, never mind!

  14. How about, “Teacher’s Union”?

  15. Your second-last cover story was “Ten Truths About Trade”, so the last option might almost make sense.

  16. Ryan, it’s actually “The People’s Front of Judea.”

  17. I say go with “YOUTH”. I mean, if you have to mischaracterized isn’t that the best of the available options?

  18. Well, from the perspective of Democrats, libertarians are disabled. (“Empathy-challenged”)

    We are a “trade” group – “Eliminate Tariffs on sugar! Free trade in recreational narcotics!”

    Some see us as having a certain religious fervor in our beliefs. (“No, really, in the absence of government, people will self-organize into stable, peaceful, property respecting groups.”)

    And, of course, with the post-Postrel leadership’s past editorial interests, the youth market seems a likely target audience.

    So, general audience. EVERYONE should support “Free Minds and Free Markets”.

  19. How about Native American? I’m assuming, of course, that your correspondents were all born here, which makes them Native Americans in my book, and by any definition that isn’t essentially racist.

  20. If you check “Disabled,” “Religious,” and “Trade,” that should just about cover it.

  21. TWC,

    Thanks for the info. I didn’t find a specific charity when I googled, so I thought it was worth a shot to shout for help:-)

    I know the tax “savings” are less than the trade-in, let alone retail selling. But it is easier to donate the car than cold, hard cash!

  22. They say to select only one option on the “target audience” question, but then use check boxes instead of radio buttons.

    Boneheads.

  23. Naive Americans

  24. Info Request.

    Do you know of a military benefit/charity org to which I can donate my old car (in the Atlanta, GA area).

    Appreciate your help.

  25. For Reason readers it would have to be Anti-fluoridationist. Or maybe South Park archivists.

  26. How about, “readers who think *The Passion of the Christ* is violently anti-Semitic, while at the same time they are great fans of a certain Monty Python film that invokes just about every available anti-Jewish stereotype in order to get laught.”

  27. Excuse me, “laughs.”

  28. RC, your Native American comments are offensive and disrespectful to my wife’s grandmother’s forebears who emigrated from Asia across the Bering Strait many moons before the Dead White Males and their progeny rained death from the skies and plowed the prairie under. They are the true Native Americans, er, ah, the true Asian Americans.

  29. Go with Youth. You’ll be able to chill with the reporters from YM.

  30. Anon, just a heads up on donating cars to charity; the tax deduct isn’t what you might think it is. For example, if you donate a car with a low blue book of 2,000.00 you get a 2,000.00 write-off but the tax savings to the average bloke are really only about 600.00. And if you are not an itemizer the tax savings are zip.

    My experience has been that most folks don’t realize that the tax savings are directly related to your actual tax bracket.

    Now all that presumes that a tax break is the primary motivator, which may not be the case.

    As far as locating your specific charity I would use google to search (this might work: “donate car” + atlanta + military).

    Many of these kinds of charities allow you to choose the organization you wish to support.

  31. Why are seniors and veterans combined? Aren’t they writing off the younger veterans? Isn’t that age discrimination among veterans?

    With all of these classifications, I have to ask the Democrats: Do they support the right of men to have babies? I realize that men can’t actually have babies, but we should at least have the right to have babies!

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go plot against my bitter enemies in the People’s Front of Judea.

  32. I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t have a “target audience” at all, not even “General”. My target audience is anyone who feels like visiting and reading, but I don’t think that my regular readers are even remotely close to being a statistically valid sample of the population as a whole.

    Actually, since I consider my site to be high- tech vanity press, in a real sense my target audience is myself. I write because I enjoy writing, not because I have any message I feel I need to deliver to some audience.

    Good thing for me I’m not attending the convention, eh?

  33. Easier than cold hard cash? Absolutely. And less hassle than having strangers come to your door after dark wanting a test rape, er ah, test drive.

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