Friend Sinister

Gene Healy explains why he won't join Friendster:

I'm too old for Friendster, and I'm scared of it. It seems like all the awkwardness and hassle of real-world interaction (and then some) without any of the benefits.

We all have friends that we can't legitmately account for, and whom we assiduously strive to keep isolated from other parts of our friend networks. Meathead friends, friends with no class, friends who think Friends is funny. Or, on the flip side, friends given to hyperintellectual pretensions who think terms like "bounded rationality" are perfectly acceptable in a beer-and-wings type of setting. Friendster breaks down the delicate social barriers that we depend on.

And we all know people that we don't particularly like who are oblivious to our disdain. Friendster removes the ambiguity that keeps us from insulting them. There is no "Aquaintance-ster" intermediate category that we could use to let them down easy. We have to either accept their classify-me-as-a-friend overture, or tell them, "sorry, you didn't make the cut". It's a social horror. Why don't you people come clean and just go back to online dating?

Comments

[Cal Ulmann]

I think I am too old for Friendster and I am only 22.

[Mark Fox]

Since Healy will not log in, he lacks the experience to make an informed assessment. His fear says more about his personal social aptitudes and not so much about the qualities of Friendster.

I don't have the focus and energy to keep up with my friends as it stands. A means to meet more people, with another vehicle for interaction doesn't help me. Actually, it might be nice if there was a clean way for all of us to let go of the friends we don't like very much.

[Julian Sanchez]

I think Gene's seen enough Friendster 2ndhand to get the drift. I'll confess that the reservations he voices are things that had gone through my mind as well, but they're not THAT big a deal. There may be circles of friends I prefer to keep bracketed in that I wouldn't ask 'em out for drinks at the same time (though actually, I'm not sure that's the case for me...) but that's not the same as having 'em on a Friendster list. Ditto acquaintances. They're either tolerable enough that it's no big deal if they're sitting on your page, or else they're not, in which case one may as well send a clear message.

Anyway, much like IM, it's a nice way of keeping in touch with folks you might not otherwise.

[Umbriel]

"Why don't you people come clean and just go back to online dating?"

Clearly, many people are uncomfortable with admitting that they are looking for a romantic relationship (sometimes even to themselves). Others may feel that meeting someone via a structured dating service, cyber or otherwise, feels "forced" or otherwise puts stifling burdens of expectation on a nacent relationship. Still others may take the truly progressive stance that a relationship shouldn't be artificially categorized as romantic or otherwise, and should be allowed to evolve define itself. Friendster would likely appeal to all of these people over online dating.

I, on the other hand, agree that it seems like it would be kind of tiring. I met my wife via an online dating site. 😉

[Xmas]

HEY! _Friends_ is funny dammit!

[MB]

gratuitous nabokov/mark e. smith reference