Parody or Prophecy?

From The Onion:

Revised Patriot Act Will Make It Illegal To Read Patriot Act

WASHINGTON, DC—President Bush spoke out Monday in support of a revised version of the 2001 USA Patriot Act that would make it illegal to read the USA Patriot Act. "Under current federal law, there are unreasonable obstacles to investigating and prosecuting acts of terrorism, including the public's access to information about how the federal police will investigate and prosecute acts of terrorism," Bush said at a press conference Monday. "For the sake of the American people, I call on Congress to pass this important law prohibiting access to itself." Bush also proposed extending the rights of states to impose the death penalty "in the wake of Sept. 11 and stuff."

Comments

[Citizen]

Heavens, your sources a little drained today? I'm almost surprised you didn't post last week's headliner U.S. vs Them.

[Madog]

Yeah, U.S. vs Them was better.

[Danny Riendeau]

The scary part is I missed "from the onion" and thought it was completely believable.

[thoreau]

On a tangentially related note, on Monday night the Daily Show With Jon Stewart had John Edwards appear to announce his candidacy. That's right, his first official announcement (not withstanding that he's been running for a year) was on the Daily Show. The press conference he held the next day was a reminder to the rest of the media, as a consolation prize for being scooped by the Daily Show.

Just another example of the hazy line between news and comedy.

[thoreau]

Check this out from the Onion:

http://www.theonion.com/onion3847/bill_of_rights.html

[Brad S]

thoreau - I almost wonder sometimes when I watch real news if I'm not simply being witness to some sort of divine comedy. God must be laughing His ass off.

[Russ D]

This isn't a whole lot different from the asshole in PA that had a list of web sites IP's were supposed to block access to, but wouldn't divulge the list.

Still funny though.

[John Ashcroft]

Those who make such allegations about the revised version of USA Patriot are giving aid and comfort to the enemy and weakening American resolve. The only purpose of this administration's counter-terrorism legislation is to protect our civil liberties by making us more secure. There is no, repeat NO, plan in the works to criminalize reading the USA Patriot Act.

[thoreau]

That's right, there is no plan in the works because the plan is complete! 😉

I love the Onion article where Bush takes white-out to the Bill of Rights. A House Republican leader says that he could never figure out what the 9th amendment meant anyway, so it went out the door. And the 3rd amendment is replaced with the right to be protected by soldiers quartered in your home.

[Anonymous]

"God grants John Ritters wish to meet Johnny Cash"

[joe]

My favorite Onion headline read simply:

"Ashcroft: Obey"

[Abu Hamza]

The irony of course is that any one of us can go to findlaw dot com or to congress's web site and read the patriot act in its full content. also, we can go to the agencies in charge of promulgating regulations under the patriot act and read the regs. I can forgive just regular people in hte public who haven't bothered to do this self-research. But what the media is doing is unforgiveable. I think most (99%) of the brain-dead reporters reporting on the patriot act haven't even read the statute.

My onion headline favorite:

"Inside At-At Was First Place Cops Looked"