Must Ask, Don't Smell

"Accessibility for all is very important," says the Web site for the town of Shutesbury, Massachusetts. "Please remember all public events in Shutesbury are fragrance free."

If you are wondering what "fragrance free" means, there's a helpful explanation here from Ziporah Hildebrandt, chairperson of Shutesbury's ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) Committee. If you're planning to go to a select board meeting or visit the public library during Fragrance Free Hours, you should

shower beforehand using baking soda instead of soap and shampoo. Baking soda effectively removes many odors. Change into clothing that has not been dry cleaned or laundered with scented products, especially fabric softeners, and has not been around smoke or fragrances. Rinse contaminated clothes with baking soda. Dry without additives. Wear a hat to contain residual odors from hair products. Wear an uncontaminated shirt over your other clothing. Depending on the event, these measures may be sufficient. Ask others present if your clothing, hair, etc. is a problem. Leave if you cause discomfort to others, or sense that your presence may be a problem. Remember: "An ounce of prevention!" Planning ahead to be free of scents is the easiest and best solution.

The connection between accessibility and fragrance freeness is "multiple chemical sensitivity," a syndrome that, according to Hildebrandt, makes its sufferers vulnerable to "extremely upsetting symptoms as well as irreparable damage" from "just one whiff of many chemicals." Combine this contention with the logic of the ADA, and we may all be forced to go fragrance free one day--not just in government buildings but in any business identified as a "place of public accommodation." Since "just one whiff" is reportedly all it takes to cause "severe pain, fatigue, cognitive dysfunction, respiratory distress and other symptoms," separate sections for the fragrant will not cut it.

[Thanks to Linda Stewart for the link.]

Comments

[WLC]

I'm living in a Kafka novel.

[scott]

I can imagine the ruckus if someone were to fart

[Anonymous]

I can't believe there wasn't a single reference to Taco Bell in the list of ways to eliminate "fragrances".

[scott]

ok seriously, people are not and cannot be fragrance free. we are animals after all. apparently Shutesbury is far from idiot free.

[Anonymous]

Wouldn't this be a violation of my first amendment right to Freedom Of Stench?

[Dakota Loomis]

How about just a ban on patchouli?

[Brian]

That stinks!

Thank you folks...I'm here all week...

[md]

WLC-

Nope. Kafka couldn't make this sort of stuff up. It's too weird.

md

[Todd Fletcher]

I've noticed that only rich people seem to get this condition. Maybe they're allergic to money?

[dude]

What's with all the fake made-up disorders, syndromes, and diseases all of a sudden? Just the last 10-20 years or so. Interesting social phenomenon. Affluence I guess? (Boring answer).

[Jim K.]

Someone should tell these dim bulbs that living is very dangerous. In fact it has a 100 percent fatality rate. Don't we need to do something about this?

There is a scene in Christopher Guests "A Mighty Wind" where Jim Piddock slaps Bob Balaban on the top of the head. For those of you who have seen it, this is what I would like to do to all of those who are trying to stuff like the above. It would feel good.

[Justin Slotman]

Check out that Julianne Moore movie "Safe"--I think it was about this syndrome. Or something like it.

[old man]

Fumento in REASON on MCS

http://reason.com/9606/Fe.FUMENTO.shtml

[Warren]

I'm allergic to government intrusion in my private affairs. There should be an 'oppression free' zone for similarly afflicted individuals.

[Xmas]

The original article is in relation to perfumes that can cause actual allergice reactions and asthma attacks.

As for "all these new diseases in the last 10 to 20 years", humans have always needed something to blame for the way they feel. That's why we had snake oil and curative colas in the 1800's, "mother's little helpers" in the 1950s and 60s, and dozens of other cure-alls throughout the ages. MCS is just a modern version of the bad humour.

[Sandy]

Wasn't there a big stink (groan) a while back about smelly homeless people being guaranteed access to public libraries? It would be interesting to go to one of these with truly horrendous BO and then sue the town and local MCS malingerer for violating the smelly person's civil rights.

[Thomas Erb]

I knew the town name was familiar they are located in the happy valley Amherst/Northampton area (peoples republic of Amherst). It?s a politically correct landscape (and awfully toasty in the summer).

[Douglas Fletcher]

I wonder if in Shutesbury any and every stinking wino has a right to get on public transit.

[dhex]

when odors are outlawed only outlaws will have odors.

seriously though, i think they smoked an ounce of baking soda and got lost somewhere in their own asses with a scrubbing brush and some lye. it's the only reasonable explanation for something this batshit crazy.

[dhex]

and if you read the FAQ, apparently this sensitivity disorder is a civil rights issue. morphine must be a hell of a lot of fun...

[Keith]

My company has a policy that forbids perfume or cologne use. Actually, I'd say it works out pretty well. Some perfumes are pretty noxious, and without the synthetic pheromones it probably makes us less horny about co-workers. But we don't scrub with baking soda. That's screwball.

[Anonymous]

Breathtaking. Expresses why I cannot tell the difference between the extreme left and extreme right for it combines the top down "we know what's best for you" with the highly controling and detailed steps of how to conform to society's wish. The best is the finish: "Leave if you sense that your presence may be a problem." (Presumably, those without sense will be fined or locked-up!)

[Plutarck]

Uh...I guess it's just too much to ask to stick some plugs in your nose if "chemicals" are such a problem, isn't it?

This is not to say that some policy on limiting strong odors is a bad idea. Personally, I damn near get sick walking through the detergent section of Wal-Mart, so I can sympathize a _little_. The thing is that it isn't "chemicals" - which is just stone-cow stupid - but approximately every scent ever put into washing powders and cleaning agents known to man, At The Same TIME! Jesus, just hang a decomposing corpse from the rafters and be done with it, for christ sake.

And why, now that I am on this rant, must EVERY fucking thing be scented? Shampoo, body wash, hand washing liquid, hand sanitizer, hair spray, cologne/perfume, washing detergent, stain remover, fabric softener, dryer sheets, hand moisturizer, body moisturiser, feminine hygiene spray, deodorant, and - get this - scented odor absorbers and neutralizers. Lord almighty man, are you actually fucking dead? Is your flesh actually decomposing? Do you use your bodily cavities to store rotting animal and bacterial remains? How can you POSSIBLY think that sweat is worse than this?

I'm just terribly thankful that most of this stuff, save a few horrid examples, wears off reasonably quickly so we never fully experience the effect of what a Fresh Garden Strawberry Banana Coconut Straight-From-The-Dryer Sports Stick Mountain Clean Mint Orange White Diamond Snuggly Soft Delicate Feminine Now-It-Doesn't-Smell-Like-A-Vagina scent really is! ...except when you walk through that two isles in Wal-Mart, where you are invited to hold your breath and make a run for it, where upon you will inhale deeply to fill your nose and lungs with the smell of hickory smoke-scented charcole briquettes and fire-starter logs.

[Tom]

Prior to my 20th high school reunion a few years back, we were all notifed that one of our classmates had developed this disorder/syndrome/disease/condition/whatever and would we all please refrain from wearing cologne/perfume. I thought it was a big joke until told it was "true".

If that is your disorder, why do you expect the world to accomodate you? You need to structure YOUR life around avoidance of irritating substances. If you don't want to, fuck ya.

Reminds me of the time I was with my dog at the vet. Two women walk in, one holding a little mop dog. Her friend, who evidently was along just to lend moral support while Poochie got her shots, looks around the waiting room, sees all the dogs, and asks the receptionist, "I'm allergic to dogs. Do you have another waiting room I could sit in?"

[allergic]

I used to think it was all a big joke too until i got allergic to perfume. I get huge migranes and nausea just from one sniff. My friends now all know not to wear purfume around me not because they are sensitive to my needs but becuase they got annoyed everytime i started vomiting when they got near me.

[Ranald H.]

Right, and I have an allergy to organic free-range bull excrement. Especially the macrobiotic fragrance free variety. No - really - my blood pressure soars, and my sense of humor turns sarcastic.

What angers me is that policies such as ADA's begin with ernest intent to help a few, but are oft allowed to mutate into 'programs' and laws at great cost and unnecessary burden to others. Worse, petty tyrannies.

Examples: Historic Preservation. Rent control. INCOME TAX.

And now I may one day face arrest in Shutesbury for failing to use Clinique?

[Anonymous]

I remember reading a story about how this syndrome is bullshit in Skeptic magazine a few years ago. I'm too lazy to look up the back issue.

[Kevin Carson]

Brilliant rant, Plutarck! You hit on one of my favorite pet peeves. I hate those candle/potpourri stores that reek of fake floral scent like a women's bathroom. As for air freshener, I'd rather smell good honest shit as clealy identifiable shit smells covered up with fake floral fragrance.

"Country Mountain Meadows Breeze, from Dow Chemical. Use only in well ventilated areas. Do not use near open flame. Do not use if pregnant. If dizziness, nausea or blindness results, discontinue use."

And you're right--why DOES everything have to have an added scent? Don't the manufacturers of detergent, etc., think I'm capable of picking out a cologne? What possible purpose is served by having my CHOICE of fragrance drowned out by a hundred other clashing fragrances from the products I buy?

[The Lonewacko Blog]

"And why, now that I am on this rant, must EVERY fucking thing be scented?"

They're trying to fuck with your lizard brain, man. Can you remember smells? Can you remember how some smells make you think of certain other things, or evoke good or bad feelings? If someone prefers the smell of product A over product B, and associates or is made to associate good feelings with A, which would they prefer, products C or D assuming they were made to smell like A and B respectively?

[Brent M Krupp]

re: dude's comments above... We used to just call people "neurotic" or "hysterical" or things like that before all these bogus conditions like MCS were invented in the last 10-20 years. Too many doctors are complicit in it because of simply diagnosing the depression and/or anxiety disorder a patient has (but will vigorously deny), they allow them to believe the fiction that they've got MCS (or fibromyalgia or CFS or whatever).

[Dan]

Obviously, the town is not really concerned with the comfort of those with MCS, but rather has found a unique way to keep french tourists out.

[La Luna]

Some of what I have been reading here really stinks - that's all there is to say to it! You ignore the fact that many american soldiers also suffer from MCS, only they call it Gulf War Syndrome. In a very short time half the citizens of America will have this problem, especially those who ignore it. Obviously America has got some more problems that that: knowledge about MCS is missing as well as tolerance and sympathy. What Mrs Hildebrandt tries to do here is make parts of the world accessible for us. I am thankful she does! And if you had this illness you would surely be thankful too. Thank god you are healthy, so you can be so arrogant. Just continue spraying your lawns, fellows - we'll meet again!

LaLuna from germany

[Angie]

I think most of the people who've commented on this, doesn't suffer from purfumer/cologne allergys or they'd be much more sympathic. Its a miserable thing, you can't go anywhere without getting sick, I have to constantly worry about it, if someones going to be wearing purfume or not when I go somewhere. I have to wear a hopistal mask when I go to anything where there might be people who wear purfume, and if your dressing up this definietly ruins your look, plus gets you strange looks from those around you. But if I don't even a smell of purfume, doesn't just make me feel sick, it makes it hard for me to breath! I've been tested and dynoised with it, and I had a teacher who used to have to carry around puffer with her everywhere she went because her allergy was so bad she would stop breathing altogether if she smelled pufumer. One sniff, would actually kill her! Its not worth it just so someone can smell of some purfume they want to wear, and I think it should be banned just like smoking. Its a health risk to people around them.

[Angie]

ahhh! I should have read that over more carefully 😛 I'm sorry for all the typos

[jackie]

Do you people that think perfumes etc. are harmless have any idea what are in these products? Some pretty toxic stuff - perfume is no longer made from flowers, etc....they are made from chemicals....doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out they can have ill affects on people..cigarettes used to be considered safe too..also full of toxic stuff! (hello....people die from them)
Am beginning to think those of you that cannot see beyond your noses in this issue must work in the chemical industry!

[Kathy]

I found this site because someone in our office wears way too much perfume. I am curious as to WHY someone would think that their choice of smelly perfume would be something all would want to breathe. A little hint of chemicals is o.k., but a blind person could follow this woman to the ends of the earth, her fragrance is so strong!I think perfume should be for the bedroom, not the office.