First They Came for the Oreos…

…and I did not speak out because I preferred Fig Newtons.

Here's a bleeding-edge nuisance lawsuit that makes me want to buy a truckload of Oreos and pass them out on school playgrounds as if they were Ritalin.

Lawsuit Seeks Ban on Beloved Oreo Cookies
Tue May 13, 9:17 AM ET
By Adam Tanner

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - A lawyer who has spent much of his life enjoying Oreo cookies has sued Kraft Foods Inc. seeking to ban the much-loved cookies in California because they contain trans fat, an ingredient he calls inedible.

Kraft boasts that people have eaten 450 billion Oreo cookies since they introduced the chocolate wafer sandwich cookies with a creamy filling in 1912.

But if British-born attorney Stephen Joseph has his way, that culinary love affair will come to an end, at least until Kraft stops using hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated oils to make the cookies.

Read the whole thing.

Comments

[Brad S]

Well, let's see. I don't really like British-born people. I don't much care for lawyers. And I ain't too fond of folk from San Francisco. That's three strikes against this guy right there. To say nothing of the fact that he is nothing more than another moron who wants to sue a corporation because he used too much of said corporation's product. Some people in this world are truly sad cases.

[dude]

They used to make the creamy filling with lard. Then they switched to hydrogenated vegetable oil, so they could say it was made with "healthy" vegetable oil. Turns out though that hydrogenated vegetable oil is worse for you than lard, butter, etc. Or maybe it was cheaper too, I dunno.

Anyway, I bet hydrogenated oil is going to be the Next Big Thing in class action lawsuits. Fortunes will be made, just like in the tobacco suits. And the nominal plantiffs will get a coupon for 50 cents off their next package of fat-free Oreos.

[joe]

"...pass them out on school playgrounds as if they were Ritalin." He he he he he. Bad libertoid! Bad! he he he he he.

[Mike E]

Just another example of the cultural sissification we've had to endure lately while those so much smarter and caring than us save the day.

I think I'll grab a large glass of milk and some Oreos and ponder this latest development.

[MP]

I'm still amazed that a NY judge had the good sense to throw out the McDonald's suit. But it would not shock me to see Oreo's banned in Kalifornia.

[s.m. koppelman]

I think the main point of the lawsuit is to shame the FDA into adding trans fat to the list of statistics put on standard nutrition labels. Trans fats like hydrogenated vegetable oil are both easily measured and measurably bad for your health.

Oreos were singled out both because (1) the name recognition makes press coverage easy (more so than, say, Tastykake Krimpets or Spicy Jalapeno Cheez-Its) and (2) unlike Keebler and a couple of the major snack-chip companies, Nabisco reportedly hasn't been reformulating its products to use less trans fat.

The suit is meant to draw attention to a public health issue through free-market means as far as I can tell. Isn't that good? It's also both cheaper and more effective than trying to run a standard ad campaign in the same publications and broadcast outlets that are carrying the story. What are the chances of an anti-Nabisco ad being accepted at all by the ad departrment of a TV network that's run dozens of 30-second Nabisco spots every day for the last thirty years?

[Warren]

DAMN! I'm already paying too much for my pot because it's illeagle. I can just imagine the f*cking hassle it's going to be trying to score top grade OREO's. You can be sure everything you find on the street will be cut with at least 50% duplex cremes.

[Russ]

"The suit is meant to draw attention to a public health issue through free-market means..."

Nice self-contradictory statement.

[joe]

Look at the bright side, Warren: when the infrared cameras pick up the ovens in your homebaked operation, the cops won't be able to get a search warrent.

[mojo jojo]

They changed from lard to trans fat. Thats why oreos aren't as good now as they were when I was kid. Bring back the lard!!! BTW can we get Mickey D's to go back to using beef fat to cook their fries instead of whatever "healthy" crap they use now?

[J. Alexander Lowman]

Here's what I wrote to that guy:

"If you don't think it's healthy to eat trans fats, then don't. If you want to encourage people to not eat them as well, I think that's a very noble cause. But to sue a company because you couldn't be bothered to find out the facts is dangerously litigious and sets even more bad precedents for society. The main effect of all of these frivolous lawsuits is to encourage people to not take responsibility for their own actions and to blame everyone but themselves for being obese, unhealthy, or whatever their problems may be. If we are ever to evolve as a species or society, people must begin taking responsibility for their own actions.

Thank you for your time."

[Mo]

I thought they took out the lard so that Muslims and Jews could partake in their Oreo goodness.

Mmmmm, doublestuff.

[RK Jones]

We are just about ready for my class action suit aimed at the Cookie Monster. If he won't stop pushing the junk he needs to go down!

RK Jones

[Keebler Elf]

Here's what I wrote to that Limey cocksucker:

Good day sir:

We the elves at Keebler have slaved away tirelessly inside of old, rotten trees for decades to bring delicious cookies, crackers, and other snacks to you tall folk. We cheerfully market these products in commercials, despite the fact that we would really rather be picking mushrooms and smoking our pipes under the stars. But eveyone has to make a living of some kind, and that includes elves. What we don't need is some retarded twit Englishman telling people that our delicious foods are going to kill them. We eat these things too, you know. Sure, they WILL kill you in about 50 years of overindulgence. The trick is not to stuff your goddamned fat face all day. Get a life you moron.

Sincerely,

The Keebler Elves.

[Brad S]

Keebler Elf - very well-said. Keep on making delicious cookies, crackers, and other various snack foods and I'll keep on eating them (in moderation, unlike our limey bastard friend) and ensuring that you are able to make an honest living.

[Vicki]

What about Hydroxes? Why are they getting off the hook? I can't imagine they're "healthier."

Maybe this is all a ploy to boost market share of the inferior creme-filled chocolate sandwich cookie.

[Lonewacko]

Unless there's some labelling mischief going on, products that use hydrogenated fat list that on their ingredients list. What would be helpful would be if the % was listed with the % of protein, fat, etc. Fig Newtons appear to be free of trans fat; at 90 kcals/30g or so, they're pretty low cal compared with other cookies as well.

[Elf]

I guess that lawyer didn't realize that O.R.E.O. stands for Orally Recreative if Eaten Occasionally.

[Evan McElravy]

Fat free Oreos taste like poker chips. I'm more of a Double Stuff man, myself. So now that the government is saying that 120/80 blood pressure is too high, I guess I have about three days to life.

[Jim Walsh]

I always preferred Hydrox anyway...

[Nannywatch]

At the risk of killing this thread, I must sadly report that the Kalifornia lawyer is dropping the suit against Nabisco.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/news/archive/2003/05/14/state1814EDT0162.DTL

Hey, but there's still hope! There are other things that can be next on the Endless Nanny List: DORITOS (sorry, Sunday Football dippers); ICE CREAM (my kid will have a fit); CANDY BARS (hunger pangs will have to stomach celery); etc., etc.

[Luca Brasi]

>>>I can just imagine the f*cking hassle it's going to be trying to score top grade OREO's. You can be sure everything you find on the street will be cut with at least 50% duplex cremes.

[Xrlq]

Now that this joker has withdrawn his suit and admitted its only purpose was to "spread the word" about trans fat, what are the chances this guy gets busted for bringing a frivolous action? About the same as the odds of David Westerfield's lawyers getting busted for claiming he was factually innocent when they knew he wasn't, I presume?

[Bill Anderson]

Today, torts are simply a moneymaking entity for law firms and a vehicle for people who wish to destroy the institutions of private property and free enterprise by manipulating the law.

Indeed, the law has ceased being a shield and instead has become a sword to be used by the state and by all who wish to destroy what was once a great civilization.

[Anonymous]

I liked oreos, but after picking up a copy of TIME on my way to work, I found that Oreo's were made of Lard, A.K.A animal fat. I am in a neutral state for this

[PsychoMonkey]

This conversation has been very enlightening...however, does anyone know where I can find a picture containing elves making cookies? I need it by tomorrow for Psychology.

[knowone]

But why use an ingredient in a product that is known to be harmful to our health when there are much kinder alternatives available? maybe were o.k with excepting poor standards for increased profits.

[Vonna]

I love oreos! I bet the only reason this guy is suing kraft foods is because he ate too many and turned into a human blimp! I hate it when people blame their obesety on companies. It's not their fault that people don't watch what they eat!

[SASSY]

I for one am glad that they took the animal fat out of OREO'S. For years I could not have them as a vegitarian, but now we all can enjoy them. However I think they should have both kinds avaliable. Everyone deserves a choice of what they put into thier body...

[SASSY]

I for one am glad that they took the animal fat out of OREO'S. For years I could not have them as a vegitarian, but now we all can enjoy them. However I think they should have both kinds avaliable. Everyone deserves a choice of what they put into thier body...

[SASSY]

I for one am glad that they took the animal fat out of OREO'S. For years I could not have them as a vegitarian, but now we all can enjoy them. However I think they should have both kinds avaliable. Everyone deserves a choice of what they put into thier body...

[Hirsch Claudia]

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DATE: 12/20/2003 09:35:50
Some nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

[Cutler Betsy]

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