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Breaking War News

Jesse Walker | 2.12.2003 5:37 AM

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It's easy to get cynical about all those alleged war plans and other leaks from the last few months. But something tells me that this top-secret CIA map of the Islamic world is the real deal.

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NEXT: They Want Their SUVs

Jesse Walker is books editor at Reason and the author of Rebels on the Air and The United States of Paranoia.

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  1. Amr   22 years ago

    Whoever made this map should get his/her map current. Otherwise, he seems half as ignorant as he’s trying to portray Americans.

    Some errors:
    *The two Yemens (“Yipes! and “Yipes! Yipes!”) reunified about a decade ago.

    *Eritrea (not drawn) has independence from Ethiopia (“We are the world”).

    *Peninsular Malaysia (“A Bit Testy”) is drawn with an arrow to Indonesian Borneo (“NFL Sportswear”), not Malaysia’s part of Borneo (“UH-OH!!!!”).

    *Vietnam (“EEK!”) is drawn on the Chinese coast.

    If someone is going to make fun of ignorant Americans, best not show ignorance oneself. Geez.

  2. Jesse Walker   22 years ago

    That Charles M. Schulz sure was ignorant, too. Snoopy didn’t look anything like a real beagle.

  3. Sara   22 years ago

    Given that the map is called the “Average American’s view,” you could assume the mistakes are intentional.

    Hilarious! I especially love “Old Navy’s Problem,” “a tad peevish,” and “More pissed at Russia than at us.”

  4. perturber   22 years ago

    No one ever said Libertarians weren’t anal retentive.

  5. r   22 years ago

    Actually the map displays a pretty acute
    sense of geopolitics.

    R

  6. Evilcor   22 years ago

    That’s nothing. . . you should’ve seen the placecards at my brother’s wedding.
    Yipes indeed!

  7. dude   22 years ago

    I imagine this was meant as some sort of comment on our ignorance and stupidity (you don’t use “average” when you intend to compliment someone) – our simplisme if you will – but it looks like a rather sober analysis of the realities. A tad snarky perhaps, but otherwise, what is inaccurate?

  8. Andrew Lynch   22 years ago

    This is brilliant. Go derf. Like any good, content-rich visual display, it welcomes repeat study. Too bad the “The Muslim World” is too restrictive a term to include one small part of the middle east that wouldn’t suffer from a little high-parody: Israel.

    And the idea of the “average American’s view” is funny. I doubt, however, that the average American (what a mortifying and impossible demographic) could draw enough borders to delineate continents, let alone countries.

    A great follow-up to this would be the “average European view” of the Muslim world or, better, of the U.S. If we’re going to flame with sweeping generalizations, let’s spread the love to everyone. I’m all for equal opportunity derision!

  9. Amr   22 years ago

    If the artist was really trying to show what the average American thought, the borders should have been a lot more ambiguous. I’d guess more Americans think that there’s one Yemen than think there are two (Of the 15-20% that know of at least one Yemen).

    I complained about those things because everything else was well-drawn and, as R said, pretty accurate. I mean, all the former Soviet ‘Stans were spot-on. So my complaint is: Really good map with a coupla awful errors that undermine the point.

    Not a Libertarian, so don’t blame them for me.

  10. Amr   22 years ago

    JW,
    If Chuck Schulz would have drawn Hanoi in the middle of Snooopy’s butt, I’d call him out for ignorance.

    (No offense to the Chinese, I’m not saying that the Chinese coast is comparable to Snoopy’s butt.)

  11. DavidMSC   22 years ago

    From geopolitical suspense & possible war…to Snoopy’s butt…in only a few comments.

    Gawd, but I love the internet.

  12. Anonymous   22 years ago

    yeah we average redneck americans be sure dumb!

  13. Steve   22 years ago

    I suspect most of those who can’t tell Afghanistan from Zimbabwe are probably soccer moms and graduates of the liberal-led public school system.

  14. Jesse Walker   22 years ago

    The point of the cartoon isn’t to mock the “ignorance” of Americans, a boring topic that I wouldn’t have wasted a link on. It’s to look at the entire Islamic world through GOOD GOD, THOSE PEOPLE MIGHT WANT TO KILL ME! glasses. Think of it as a modern sequel to those old cartoon-maps that show a New Yorker’s view of America, in which 90% of the map consists of New York City.

  15. Warren   22 years ago

    I think a better title would have been:
    The Muslim World, Official U.S. Policy

  16. Steve   22 years ago

    Jesse: What’s the difference? If people are thinking “GOOD GOD THESE PEOPLE WANT TO KILL ME”, isn’t that just as ignorant as not knowing what’s out there? I’m guessing that most Islamists no more want to kill me personally than I want tyo kill them.

  17. Jag   22 years ago

    I’m not American, I don’t live there. But anti-Americanism is so widespread around the world that “GOOD GOD THOSE PEOPLE WANT TO KILL ME” is actually a prudent view for Americans to hold. People really do hate America, not because of any fault of America’s, but because of their own frustration and envy. I’d say the map is a damn accurate view of the world’s attitude to America.

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