Daring To Play It Safe

While we're all beating up on the Oscars, I'd like to note that the members of the Academy are a million times more daring and visionary in their choices than the proprietors of the increasingly hyped "Razzies." Is there anything more pathetically safe than these "Worst" lists? The Adventures of Pluto Nash—boy, you're really going to risk losing a lot of friends if you dare to say that's one of the year's worst! Crossroads with Britney Spears: What courage, to mock that darling of the critical establishment!

I'm heavily influenced here by Chris Fujiwara's piss take on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and the cult of "bad" movies, art, music generally. Or rather, Fujiwara ably summed up the feeling I get whenever some wanker calls "MacArthur Park" the worst song of all time when they should be acknowledging Jimmy Webb as one of America's greatest living composers. Do these Razzie wags really find sitting through Oscar magnets like The Hours more entertaining than digging Roberto Benigni's truly unsettling Pinochio (or do they just find Nicole Kidman's fake proboscis more convincing than Benigni's)? By what standard can anybody claim to get more enjoyment from movie chloroform like The Road to Perdition than from Attack of the Clones?

Of course, I should admit I haven't seen any of these films. Honest people will acknowledge that this has never been a barrier to rendering strong opinions.