What Would Jesus Drive?
I was on CNN's Talk Back Live this afternoon to discuss the new religious campaign against SUVs, the theme of which is "What Would Jesus Drive?" Naturally, everyone was eager to supply a punch line. I originally planned to suggest a donkey, pointing out its limited cargo and passenger space (not to mention its own emission problems). But then a colleague forwarded an e-mail arguing that Jesus, as a carpenter, would need a pickup truck--which falls into the same emissions and mileage category as an SUV--to haul his lumber and tools. I blew the delivery on the air, but it's still a good line.
Another guest said Jesus might very well drive an SUV, if he needed to transport all the apostles. People interviewed on the street pictured Jesus in a stretch limo (because Jesus would travel in style), a blue Miata (fun, zippy, and economical), and a Honda Civic (no particular reason offered). One audience member said Jesus would surely walk, so the whole question was stupid, while another said he obviously would ride the bus, as all righteous people do.
Having watched this debate, Jesse Walker offered, "I think Jesus would drive a motorboat, so he could park it on his lake and walk home." Other suggestions?
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When I saw Jesus last week, he was driving a purple Caddy.
A Plymouth Fury, of course. The Bible is full of in-a-Fury-this and in-a-Fury-thats and knowing the Lord's Fury, etc.