Brickbats

Cheryl Russell, editor of The Boomer Report, writes that "every woman I know is having sex dreams about Bill Clinton." It's time to get new friends, Cheryl.

California's two new senators—Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer—campaigned to open up Senate doors. That pledge, it appears, does not apply to their own offices. The two women have defied the Senate custom allowing reporters unfettered access to all staffers. Instead, they have ordered that all questions be routed through their press secretaries. And Boxer has even warned reporters that any attempt to contact staffers directly could jeopardize that reporter's future relations with the senator.

The federal government has put the Tooth Fairy out of work. In Highland Park, Illinois, Debbie Lerman took her 6-year-old daughter, Robyn, to the dentist to have a couple of teeth removed. But when the dentist finished extracting the teeth, he refused to give them to the girl, who wanted to leave them under her pillow. OSHA rules require him to immediately place the teeth in a closed container and dispose of them.

The First Amendment protects editorial freedom—unless the editor in question happens to work in radio or live in the District of Columbia. Charlie Ochs, general manager of D.C. radio station WMZQ, declined to air an ad sponsored by the Gay and Lesbian Activists Alliance. Bad move. The alliance complained to the mayor's office, which in turn told Ochs that his decision violated the district's Human Rights Ordinance. Rather than fight the law, Ochs ran the ad.

Speaking of free speech, feminist leaders aren't afraid to exercise theirs when the subject of Camille Paglia comes up. While working on a profile of Paglia, 60 Minutes correspondent Steve Kroft asked Gloria Steinem for an interview. She refused but suggested the show send cameras to a public forum Steinem was conducting with other feminist leaders. When they did, an associate producer attempted to ask a question about Paglia and was shouted down. Steinem herself shouted, "Turn the cameras off! We don't give a [bleep] what she thinks."

Hartford, Connecticut, residents have had it easy for the last three years. Thanks to a computer error, none has had to serve on a federal grand jury. The city's name had been listed in the wrong place on their records, forcing the D into the column for personal information. This caused the computer to think all Hartford residents were dead.

America's Most Wanted has racked up another one. In December in Los Angeles, Robin John Delgado became at least the fourth person mistakenly arrested after an anonymous caller identified him as a fugitive featured on the show. Delgado, who wound up spending three days in jail, was mistaken for ex-Miami cop Armando Garcia, who is on the FBI's most-wanted list. Garcia was identified on the show as being 5 feet 9 inches tall, weighing 180 pounds, and having a burn scar on his right cheek. Delgado is 5 feet 11 inches tall, 160 pounds, and has no scars.

If you wondered why Bill Clinton's inaugural parade included Elvis impersonators and a precision lawn-chair marching team, spokeswoman Sally Aman explains: "We wanted to make sure that we chose a cross section of people and performers that would, to the extent possible, represent every sector of society."

Finally, seemingly determined to ruin the good press he got during the presidential campaign, talk-show host Larry King closed out the year by interviewing Mark David Chapman. Chapman, you may recall, is the assassin of singer-songwriter John Lennon. In a parting exchange that wasn't televised, King gushed, "Mark, thank you. That was terrific."