Paging Joycelyn Elders

Reader Mark Lambert sends word of an Iowa bill to restrict "the exhibition or dissemination of certain sexual devices to minors," with the devices defined as "any three-dimensional item designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs." In other words, the legislators want to keep the kids safe from dildos—aside, that is, from the dildos currently serving in the Iowa General Assembly. Comments Lambert: "By Gosh, we want our teenagers masturbating BY HAND, not by some newfangled device!"