Let Them Eat Grilled Cheese! Retired Gen. Wesley Clark Gets Paid a Quarter-Mil for Flogging Food Trucks to Vets

Ha ha, wut? ||| San Antonio Express-NewsSan Antonio Express-NewsWas it really so long ago that Gen. Wesley Clark was, for a millisecond at least, the Democratic Party's presidential front-runner? Last time I paid attention to the co-architect of America's war to detach Kosovo from Serbia, he was busy making one of the craziest arguments yet in favor of bombing Syria. But it turns out the blue-eyed former general has been leveraging his military career to make bank in the private sector, through a series of increasingly bizarre stunts.

First came Clark's involvement in the ethanol business. Then came a chairmanship of a Canadian energy company desperate to wheedle foreign coal-mining contract in–wait for it!–Kosovo. After a detour into a reality TV show called Stars Earn Stripes, now Clark is...well, you try to figure it out:

Yes, that's right: Your next big penny stock is a company shelling out at least $240,000 a year (with various warrants and lucrative performance bonuses) to a mediagenic pitchman who can turn the untested field of food-truck franchising into a heartwarming if hard-to-follow story about Helping Our Vets. (Sample vagueness: "The company has 14 of its own trucks in California, Arizona and Texas, and is looking to offer the first 100 franchised trucks to veterans. Franchising fees are $25,000, but Lee and Clark say the company will subsidize them if vets qualify to own a truck but can't afford it.")

Best of luck to the vets and food trucks, anyway. As for Clark, he'll certainly need it if he's going to get anywhere near that goal of topping off his military career with a cool $40 million.

(Thanks to O'Leary for the tip.)

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  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Grilled cheese sandwiches are disgusting.

  • John||

    I had no idea you were an un American communist bastard Mulatto. What next, deep dish?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Never. Thems fightin' words.

  • ||

    I am going to try very hard to forget that you said that.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Yeah, HM has gone off the deep end.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    Seriously. It's fucking cheese on bread.

  • ||

    Most controversial thing said this evening?

    I think it is.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Even dipped in a good tomato soup, I can't muster a taste for melted sour milk solids on toast.

  • ||

    sour milk

    That's an intentionally inflammatory description.

    There are few things that aren't bettered by assaulting them with friendly microbes.

    grains, cabbage, dairy, tea...

  • playa manhattan||

    I'm drinking sour wheat juice right now.

  • ||

    I had some sour wheat solids with my sour wheat juice and some beef stew tonight. It was an excellent combination.

  • Sevo||

    Pretty sure mine's corn-based.

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Corn here.

  • playa manhattan||

    I'm trying to make it last. I fell asleep last night before I got all of my work done. Great night's sleep, though.

  • ~Knarf Yenrab~||

    Thy incessant study hath driven thee mad.

  • John||

    It should never be forgot that Clark's actions as NATO commander were so dishonorable that none of his piers will even talk about them other than to say "he acted in a disgraceful manner" not willing to embarass the military by saying what. And Clark made up for it by nearly starting World War III when he ordered a British Cav unit to attack a Russian unit who had seized an airfield in Kosovo. Only the initiative and good sense shown by a British one star and the British captain on the scene, James Blunt the singer (no kidding), in ignoring the order prevented a potentially explosive confrontation.

    Clark is just a fucking disgrace. The fact that someone like him got four stars tells you something is very broke in our military promotion system.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    100 percent agreement. Clark should have been swinging from the gallows a long time ago.

    I don't mean that metaphorically.

  • ||

    Say what you will about the tenets of Wesley Clark, at least he didn't introduce the beret as a standard part of the uniform.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Fair enough. Life imprisonment shall suffice.

    Though a Multicam beret would be worth it just for the lulz.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    When you two stop sucking each other's dick I need to rub John's nose in some more of his own shit.

  • John||

    8%

    You don't rule the night. No one does. And no one is locking eyes with you. And for the last time, we don't have any cake.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    We get it, John-Boy. You and your ratfucker GOP bros Swiftboated Clark but you "don't know what he did" and "no one will talk about it".

    Just admit you are lying again.

    You are never right - you lie like a whore and you suck Team Red cock.

    WE KNOW!!!

  • John||

    8%

    And you still don't rule the night.

  • ||

    Can you read?

  • John||

    No he can't. He barely qualifies as human. So English is a second language.

  • ||

    I don't think it is a language problem or even a reading problem.
    I earnestly think he is borderline personality disorder.

    Hey shreek, that lines up with what some shrink told you doesn't it?

  • Gene||

    borderline

    Is being a total fucking masochist a personality disorder?

  • John||

    And he nearly started world war III fighting Clinton's illegal war that he lied us into. You know, the one that destroyed all of the good will we had with the Russians and whose consequences we still live with today? The one that Clinton fought by illegal means by targeting civilian infrastructure for the purpose of making the Serb population so miserable it revolted?

    Funny, you are so obsessed with illegal wars that lack UN approval, but you don't remember that one. The fact that you never saw a Dem cock you wouldn't suck might have something to do with it.

    No, you are just retarded and come here to fuck up the threads. It always comes back to that.

  • Sevo||

    Palin's Buttplug|2.27.14 @ 10:21PM|#
    ..."I need to rub John's nose in some more of his own shit."

    EIGHT PERCENT, fucking turd! EIGHT goddam PERCENT!
    Can you read this, asshole?
    EIGHT, NOT TEN, NOT NINE, NOT EIGHT AND ONE HALF FUCKING PERCENT! EIGHT!

  • Acosmist||

    Damn, I didn't know that. Thanks, John!

  • Swiss Servator, mehr Käse!||

    He was the first general officer I heard openly insulting things about - shocked the living crap out of me. I was a new captain in 1997 when he got the European command - I kept hearing colonels saying "ran out of qualified people, eh?" "I guess apple polishing works" and such. I had never heard such before. Of course, he immediately began proving them right... I loathe him.
    Bonus disgust - when I took one of my mil schools, we were assigned his book to read. Gah, I put money in that fool's pocket.

  • ||

    Study shows that global warming will result in 180,000 more rapes by 2099

    That's the conclusion of a controversial new study that uses historic crime and temperature data to show that hotter weather leads to more murders, more rapes, more robberies, more assaults, and more property crimes.

    "Looking at the past, we see a strong relationship between temperature and crime," says study author Matthew Ranson, an economist with the policy consulting firm Abt Associates. "We think that is likely to continue in the future."

    Just how much more crime can we expect? Using the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change's warming projections, Ranson calculated that from 2010 to 2099, climate change will "cause" an additional "22,000 murders, 180,000 cases of rape, 1.2 million aggravated assaults, 2.3 million simple assaults, 260,000 robberies, 1.3 million burglaries, 2.2 million cases of larceny, and 580,000 cases of vehicle theft" in the United States.

    Ranson acknowledges that those results represent a relatively small jump in the overall level of crime—a 2.2 percent increase in murder and a 3.1 percent increase in rape, for instance. Still, says John Roman, a senior fellow at the Urban Institute's Justice Policy Center, those numbers add up to "a lot of victims" over the course of the century.

    THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED.

  • ||

    Using IPCC projections. Does it take into account that there is no actual warming?

    Interesting.

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    They have no shame.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    So CNN's identification of Alaska as the rape capital of the United States is just the exception that proves the rule, I guess.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    That's the Sarah Palin effect. Leave the science to the experts, dude.

  • Gene||

    Alcohol, isolation and poverty I really don't see anything remotely surprising. Nowadays CNN is almost as bad as MSNBC.

  • Drake||

    Get your fucking face off the TV.

  • ||

    Can anybody stop Arthur Chu's reign of terror on Jeopardy!?

  • Mainer2||

    I've stopped watching for the first time in 40 years until that douche is gone

  • Pompey||

    That guy is friggin' hilarious. A little paprika for the otherwise bland stew.

  • William of Purple||

    mmm, 64 slices of American Cheese.

  • Sevo||

    C'mon, mild cheddar.

  • EJ||

    A vet buddy of mine signed up to manage one of those trucks in AZ. He quit after a couple of weeks. I don't know if he tried to buy a franchise. I hope not. It just sounded like a horrible idea and he had no real food service experience.

  • Sevo||

    ..."he had no real food service experience."

    I heard a friend of mine explaining to the guy in the kitchen to slice the roll into 5 pieces not 4.
    I razzed him, and he responded that I knew shit about the food biz; that 20% represented his final margin.
    I've come to learn he was right and I want nothing to do with a bizz that operates on that sort of margin.

  • Irish||

    Is Michelle Malkin a bitch? Yes.

    Is it hilarious watching her website troll the shit out of horrible progressives? Also yes.

  • ||

    That is funny. Twitchy is pretty great.

  • ||

    Is she a bitch? Who cares?

    Would I drag my balls through shards of glass to bone her? Hell yes.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. I have not much hope that Malkin can be cured before she dies, but there is a chance of it. And she is bound up with the fate of the neoconservative movement. My heart tells me that she has some part to play yet, or good or Ill, before the end; and when that comes, the pity of Irish may rule the fate of many - yours not least.

  • ||

    She's going to fall into a volcano clutching Elizabeth Warren?

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    A two-fer.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    "“We’ve received as many or more in the last week in a half than we did in the whole calendar year [of 2013],” [Orange County Sheriff's Department] Lt. Jeff Hallock told FoxNews.com by phone early Thursday."

    http://linkis.com/feedly.com/e/4XFBU

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    more=concealed carry applications, in case you didn't guess

  • William of Purple||

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    “How Walkable is Your Community”

    Do these assholes have any idea how arrogant they sound assuming everyone lives in "a community?"

    Check your privilege bitchez!

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Well, let me make an announcement of the end of the thread:

    lol, you got to love those bought and paid for generals!

    wowthatwasntsomuchajokeasasadreality.com

  • Sevo||

    Notorious G.K.C.|2.27.14 @ 11:43PM|#
    "Well, let me make an announcement of the end of the thread:"

    Ha:
    "Seattle clamps down on UberX, Lyft, Sidecar"
    [...]
    "Seattle’s city council on Thursday night took steps to limit [...] an action that the services say would stifle their burgeoning industry."
    http://blog.sfgate.com/techchr.....t-sidecar/

    And I'm sure that was the exact intent of the gov't-protected cabbies.

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Several restaurants in a Florida chain are asking customers to help foot the bill for Obamacare.

    Diners at eight Gator's Dockside casual eateries are finding a 1% Affordable Care Act surcharge on their tabs, which comes to 15 cents on a typical $15 lunch tab. Signs on the door and at tables alert diners to the fee, which is also listed separately on the bill.
  • Bam!||

    Asking their customers to help foot the bill? Where else is the money going to come from?

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Those evil businessmen need to take it from their basement filled with gold coins, of course.

  • William of Purple||

  • Gene||

    Thanks. Better than the original IMO, however I'm a Jazz piano obsessive.

  • William of Purple||

  • ||

    At least he tells you he went off his meds...

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