Brickbat: Money's Worth

The Secret Service says it is investigating a Portland, Oregon, strip club manager for defacing currency. Johnny Zukle has been staining $2 bills with red ink, to resemble blood, as a marketing gimmick for his club Casa Diablo. But a Secret Service agent says Zukle has been warned three times and now the agency is going to take action against him.

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  • Snark Plissken||

    They haven't arrested him yet?

    I knew a guy who got 3 months house arrest with ankle bracelet for copying a dollar bill, when he worked at Kinkos.

  • Snark Plissken||

    To be fair, this guy is openly defacing currency.

  • ||

    So we should bust every magician who does "torn and restored"?

  • Snark Plissken||

    No, every magician whose name is David Blaine.

  • Snark Plissken||

    In all seriousness, I guess debasing coins and counter-fitting money has very obvious negative ramifications and should be against the law. Defacing currency, not so much. Destroying a bill you own should be your own business. Ripping a bill in half then taping it together and claiming it or trying to use it is more of a gray area.

  • ||

    makes me wonder why all those penny-squashing machines at the state fair are legal then.

  • Snark Plissken||

    Well the problem with coin debasement is extracting some of the precious metal that makes up the intrinsic value of the coin then passing it on. If you take the coin and simply melt it down or whatever it shouldn't be a problem since the value of the metal in the shape of the coin ought to be a bit more than the value of the metal in the coin.

  • Snark Plissken||

    I mean a bit less.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Full copper pennies are worth more than 1 cent in metal value, and nickels are often worth more than 5 cents. It's illegal to melt them down, or export them in bulk to other countries.

  • Snark Plissken||

    It doesn't make sense to have coins whose metal value exceeds their monetary value, but of course these things happen because of politics and idiocy.

  • ||

    My wife is crazy about those things. We have to carry pre-1962 pennies and a roll of quarters with us everywhere we go, just in case we come across one.

  • marshaul||

    I seem to recall that penny-squashing machines are specifically exempted from the Federal currency defacement law.

  • np||

    In all seriousness, I guess debasing coins and counter-fitting money has very obvious negative ramifications and should be against the law.

    Yeah, tell that to the Federal Reserve.

  • Atanarjuat||

    I'm pretty sure a little bit of quality time with the girls will suffice to get the Secret Service of his back. Just don't expect them to tip well.

  • ||

    Is this some sort of menstrual symbolism?

  • UnCivilServant||

    Why isn't the red border part of the actual design of the currency?

  • Rich||

    I notice that about half the bills the ATM spits out are heavily stained along the edge. What's up with that? Should I alert the Secret Service?

  • UnCivilServant||

    That's just the dye pack stain from when they robbed the other bank to stock their ATMs. Nothing to worry about, the interbank wars are nothing new.

  • carol||

    ATM tellers color every other bundle of tens and twenties along the top to make counting easier.

  • pan fried wylie||

    So not only are ATMs stealing jobs, they're also unpatriotic vandals. Bastards.

  • JD the elder||

    So are they going after WheresGeorge.com too?

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