Government Shuts Down


Let's party like our lives are nasty, brutish, and short.Feederz

Just before midnight, the White House Office of Management and Budget issued orders to the executive branch departments and agencies to begin closing their doors.

"Agencies should now execute plans for an orderly shutdown due to the absence of appropriations. We urge Congress to act quickly to pass a Continuing Resolution to provide a short-term bridge that ensures sufficient time to pass a budget for the remainder of the fiscal year, and to restore the operation of critical public services and programs that will be impacted by a lapse in appropriations," the guidance directed.

When they shut down the government in '95 I was gonna bring in a load of pot from Mexico. Joke was on me. No roads.

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  • benji||

  • Pathogen||

    Alright people, everybody go home... the Rethuglikkkans fucked it up for everyone... party *off*

  • Generic Stranger||


  • Ghetto Slovak Goatherder||

    Harry Reid called those dirty Rethuglicans anarchists again!

    I think someone should send him a dictionary as thanks for shutting the government down.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

  • Pathogen||

    They're all headed down to the Bowlarama to tip a few beers, and celebrate...

  • Rob||

  • ||

    You are right, I have always known about man. From the evidence, I believe his wisdom must walk hand and hand with his idiocy. His emotions must rule his brain. He must be a warlike creature who gives battle to everything around him, even himself.

  • ||

    Oh no, the guy at DARPA in charge of making sure the nuclear missiles don't go off has been furloughed! Everyone duck and cover!

  • Ghetto Slovak Goatherder||

    Broken link.

  • ||

    Computer from 80's movie "war games".

    I'd try and relink it but we'll all be dead soon anyway.

  • Pathogen||

    Were they pissing on W.O.P.R's sparkplugs?

  • Generic Stranger||

  • SIV||

    Library of Congress website still works. Must take time to pressure down the boilers or whatever.

  • Pathogen||

    You'll be sorry... you'll all be sorry..

  • obijuan||

    You joke but federal websites are going to do a shutdown or something. Which is a tad ridiculous. As if it takes strenuous effort and gobs of money to leave a website up and maybe even *gasp* update it periodically.

  • Paul.|| still up. Don't understand shutdown that doesn't shutdown.

  • Cascadian Ephor Xenocles||

    They're essential.

  • Pathogen||

    Its' become self-aware, and decided our fate in a millisecond...

  • Paul.||


    Because Congress did not fulfill its responsibility to pass a budget,
    much of the federal government
    will shut down.

    Refused to pass budget. Which party has steadfastly refused to pass a budget again?

  • SIV||

    Panda cams are still up! Sponsored by The Ford Motor Company.

  • Jesse Walker||


  • Death Rock and Skull||


  • Generic Stranger||

    On Cam 2.

    They appear to be dead. Or sleeping. Whichever.

  • XM||

    With the Zoo security personnel furloughed, the Chinese can kidnap the pandas and sell their meat on the free market. And the bony liberals with noodle arms watching the Panda cam can't do anything about it.

    "Oh god, someone stronger than me please save the Pandas, they're innocent"

  • UnCivilServant||

    Mmmmm... Black Free unmonitored market panda steaks.

  • Bam!||

    Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

  • Vulgar Madman||

    The bastards!

  • shortviking||

    My will my ass get wiped without government?

  • Sheriff Bart||

    Big Bird has just been furloughed. The humanity!

  • Vulgar Madman||

    So, are we all dead yet?

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Dear Prudence,

    I met this nice guy, and we made a date to meet at the Starbucks, and it's past time for the date and he still hasn't arrived. I thought he was a keeper, but I don't want to be a pushover. Should I just leave and expect him to get back to me later?

    Also, while waiting for my date to show up, I saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy. And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority. And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed.
    And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

    So now that I have this cool mark on my head I can order all the mocha lattes I want, and don't even need to show my credit card anymore!

    So, like I was saying, should I wait a few more minutes for the jerk? It might not be his fault because the traffic is a bit congested.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Dear Concerned,

    When you saw him last, was he riding a white horse, clothed in a robe dipped with blood with a sharp sword coming out of his mouth?

    Guy keeps saying he's coming back. Deadbeat.

  • ||

    When they shut down the government in '95 I was gonna bring in a load of pot from Mexico. Joke was on me. No roads.


  • ||

    It is not often that the writers here beat the commentariat, but Jesse pulled it off.

    A+ Jesse. I am gonna steal that one and use it today.

  • Spoonman.||

    Agreed, that was hilarious.

  • Numeromancer||

    I'm together with your plan.

  • Brett L||


  • ||

  • Finrod||

    Me, I'm with Frank J. Fleming:

    "I'm not for the government shutdown if they're just going to start it up again."

  • cavalier973||

    When they shut down the government in '95 I was gonna bring in a load of pot from Mexico. Joke was on me. No roads.

    Heh, heh.

    How is everyone so chipper this early in the morning?

  • UnCivilServant||

    Government shutdown. Cheered me right the hell up.

  • db||

    What a load of useless theater.

  • cavalier973||

    These are the sorts of headlines that annoy me (from the Fox News website): "NATION PLUNGES INTO PARTIAL SHUTDOWN" The FedGov != the nation, you contemptible buffoons.

  • pan fried wylie||

    Quick, time to create some jobs while they can't be destroyed!


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