Man Sets Off School "Security Sweep" by Wearing Camouflage; Turns Out He Works At a Military Base

U.S.A. 2013School security scare of the day:

L'Anse Creuse High School was shut down Tuesday morning after a former student, who now works at Selfridge Air National Guard Base, entered the building around 6 a.m.

Security concerns were raised because the man was dressed in camouflage.

Apparently the former student had just left work at the base and went to the school looking for a letter of recommendation.

The article adds that "Students who were being bussed to the school were taken to a safe location while the security sweep was being done." Good thing the visitor wasn't snacking on a Pop-Tart, or the kids might still be sequestered there now.

[Hat tip: Geoff Nathan.]

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  • The Late P Brooks||

    If he had been wearing a trench coat, the Air National Guard would have been called in to level the place.

  • albo||

    Yeah, and they have all the A-10s.

  • BarryD||

    Those things actually fly, complete missions, and don't try to kill their pilots. Best keep them maintained, 'cause we're gonna need planes like that.

  • Almanian!||

    Bring back the Republic P-47 Thumderbolt!

    /doddering WWII plane lover

  • Austrian Anarchy||

    P-51D Mustang, Packard engine of course.

  • TheZeitgeist||

    Liquid-cooled motors are no good against ground fire. Radials get it done even while getting shot up.

  • BarryD||

    Nothing blows up a train like a P-47.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    Nothing blows up a train like a P-47.

    Clearly you haven't been listening to experts like Jessie Jackson. Nothing blows up a train like an AR15, dummy.

  • ||

    The Wright Flyer. Proven technology.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Heavier than air machines, feh!

    /Balloon advocate

  • Austrian Anarchy||

    Why send an A-10 when a drone will do?

  • Corneliusm||

    Because a drone isn't a flying tank?

  • BarryD||

    Probably costs more than an A10, too.

  • Corneliusm||

    Including the pilot.

  • KPres||

    We have to protect the children so they can grow up and live in a police state.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    ...and went to the school looking for a letter of recommendation.

    SURE THING, I RECOMMEND PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION.

  • Copernicus||

    6AM? Really?

  • Austrian Anarchy||

    That does seem a bit early for any Air Force member to be up and about.

  • ||

    When I was in the AF, my member was up and about at all hours.

  • ||

    Don't Ask, Don't Tell

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    I have a Smith & Wesson on my desk. My students are in a safe location already.

  • Almanian!||

    You sure that's not a Smith Corona?

    no homo

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Pretty sure.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

  • anarch||

    That scary thing looks like a Pop Tart!

  • Austrian Anarchy||

    Reminds me of an old Air Force story with a strange twist. Back a few years ago, and Air Force base blocked a website because it showed viewers how to make dry ice "bombs." Of course, nobody in the Air Force should be exposed to such carnage making information.

    The Air Force and government schools seem to be a synergy made in DC.

  • BarryD||

    We train young men to drop fire on people, but their commanders won't allow them to write "fuck" on their airplanes because it's obscene!

  • Bam!||

    Can they still name their planes after ladies? Or has that been deemed sexist?

  • fried wylie||

    Are you sure the reason is obscenity? Just seems unprofessional to me.

  • BarryD||

    What's obscene is that someone wouldn't recognize that quote.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    They should have shut the school down because of that ridiculous name; "L'Anse Creuse High School". L'Anse Creuse? Sounds French. Fuck Michigan!

  • Almanian!||

    It IS French - like DETROIT!

    Fuck Sutheast Michigan, anyway.

  • BarryD||

    De Twat

  • Aloysious||

    Just think how the hysterics would have reacted if he had been eating a pop tart. That he had chewed into the shape of a gun.

  • ||

    Or as the last sentence says:

    Good thing the visitor wasn't snacking on a Pop-Tart, or the kids might still be sequestered there now.
  • Almanian!||

    Sequester LOOMS LARGE

  • fried wylie||

    someone doesn't understand the meaning of "former".

    also, a recommendation from a highschool employee? Isn't that worse than not obtaining any letter of recommendation at all?

  • fried wylie||

    or maybe a letter of recommendation from a correctional officer whos supervision you lived under for an extended period?

  • Zeb||

    And they shut down two other schools as well. Probably should have just evacuated the whole city, just in case.

  • fried wylie||

    "Townsville was evacuated today after being innundated with evacuees from Villageburg."

  • fried wylie||

    subtitle: It's Evacuations All The Way Down

  • db||

    "Point of order: If we relocate them, they're 'evacuees.' If they're forced out by enemy action, the correct term is 'refugees.'"

  • DblEagle||

    Only if they cross an international border. Otherwise they are only internally displaced persons.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    "Pop Tarts? Really? Those things will kill you."

  • $park¥||

    A gallon of orange juice
    A chipped tooth
    Sadism

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Just because he "works at a military base" doesn't give him free rein to walk around in camouflage. (Being an American does that.)

  • entropy||

    Ban assault camouflage.

  • fried wylie||

    Tell me camo isn't a gang color.

  • Corneliusm||

    Ban BDUs/ABUs! For the good of all of our children!

    Every serviceman and servicewoman shall be dressed in service dress, even in combat. It's the only way for the kids to be safe!

  • ||

    When I get on Metro at the Pentagon this afternoon, I should call the emergency number and report an imminent mass shooting.

  • The DerpRider||

    I was wondering why the civil defense sirens were going off this morning...

  • OldMexican||

    The article adds that "Students who were being bussed to the school were taken to a safe location while the security sweep was being done."


    Just what is it about "Your Kids Belong To Us, The State" don't you understand?

    Once you face reality, these things will stop surprising you. Get with the program, people!

  • AlgerHiss||

    K-12 in this country is designing their little charges to:

    1. If you hear the word “gun”, you are to immediately urinate in your pants.

    2. If you see a gun, even a photo, you are to first, crap in your pants, then begin yelling “Mitter Pawiceman, Mitter Pawiceman, pwease save me!”

    Land of the free and home of the brave?

    What a freak’n joke that has become.

  • Bee Tagger||

    or the kids might still be sequestered there now.

    Is there anything sequestration can't ruin?

  • Corneliusm||

    The TSA's new uniforms, apparently.

  • Bardas Phocas||

    Fried Chicken.

  • fried wylie||

    word.

  • Brett L||

    Holy shit, its a sequestration miracle


    BREAKING NEWS
    Verizon Said Seeking to Resolve Vodafone Relationship This Year
    TSA Will Permit Knives, Golf Clubs on U.S. Planes
    By Jeff Plungis - 2013-03-05T14:53:27Z

    The U.S. Transportation Security Administration will let people carry small pocketknives onto passenger planes for the first time since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, along with golf clubs, hockey sticks and plastic Wiffle Ball-style bats.

    The agency will permit knives with retractable blades shorter than 6 centimeters (2.4 inches) and narrower than 1/2 inch at the widest point, TSA Administrator John Pistole said today at an aviation security conference in Brooklyn. The change, to conform with international rules, will take effect April 25.

  • Brett L||

    What the fuck? Copypasta fail at the top.

  • BarryD||

    I did it like this. I did it like that. I did it with a wiffle ball bat.

  • ||

    But still no liquids or lighters, people!

  • ||

    You can have a lighter! Just not a Zippo type one.

  • fried wylie||

    Anyone else even more confused by this clarification?

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Assault Wiffle Batz!

  • Fluffy||

    In other words, we spent a trillion dollars on security so that at the end of that process you could stroll on to a plane with blades that are just as threatening as the ones used by the 9/11 hijackers.

    Top. Men.

  • Brett L||

    My Vorpal Wiffle Bat will save us.

  • ||

    Took the words right out of my fingertips.

    Countless billions on a problem that solved itself less than an hour after it presented itself.

    noting...to...cut... must...spend...

  • ||

    h

  • ||

    First sequestration, now a tiny loosening of TSA rules. Is this the libertarian utopia I was promised?!

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    They've been letting on sharpened credit cards all this time.

  • GILMORE||

    Transportation Security Administration will let people carry small pocketknives onto passenger planes ... along with golf clubs, hockey sticks and plastic Wiffle Ball-style bats.

    This will be interpreted by TSA employees such that unless you are simultaneously wielding a golf club, a hockey stick, and a plastic wiffle-ball bat... your small knife must be confiscated.

  • BarryD||

    I did it like this. I did it like that. I did it with a wiffle ball bat.

  • TheZeitgeist||

    Obviously we need to ban Assault Textiles. Its not just any pair of pants when its got certain patterns or colors on it. Makes the pants different somehow.

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