Lie Back and Think of Mother England, America

 

Twelve more days, people. Twelve. More. Days.

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  • Spraynerd||

    wait- that was supposed to help obama?

  • John C. Randolph||

    Sure, cause it totally makes sense to equate voting for a Ruling Party politician with getting fucked.

    -jcr

  • Big 'Orra||

    As a guy who's been attracted to several lesbians ... I'd do her.

  • Killazontherun||

    Even while words come out of her mouth? I mean I have no standards but there are things that go beyond no standards like her mouth usage.

  • Brandybuck||

    There's a little bit of love/hate in every relationship.

  • AlmightyJB||

    To all the young virgins out there watching this video. Your first time should not be in the ass.

  • Stevie OneLeg||

    Haven't we all suffraged enough?

  • John C. Randolph||

    The sad thing is, she probably didn't even realize she was making the best argument against womens' suffrage any of us will ever see.

    -jcr

  • BoscoH||

    ...and an even better argument for chastity!

  • amelia||

    +1

  • Anomalous||

    Girls is the most overrated show in the history of television.

  • Paul.||

    Oh, shit... she's on that HBO show? Oh now I know who she is. Scratch my message below. No not the other one, the porn one.

  • AuH2O||

    You just don't get how it defies our masculine expectations of good tv! /av club

  • Cytotoxic||

    AV Club: where hipsters go to get off on their own pretensions.

  • Cytotoxic||

    Which is it?

  • Drake||

    After all the hype and all their really good shows, I couldn't make it through an episode of Girls.

    I thought she was just playing a retarded fat chick.

  • Don Mynack||

    Agreed. That show is unwatchable.

  • Jack-it||

    This is a joke, right?
    No mention on recent college graduates getting their dream jobs, or jobs. No mention of Obama cutting the deficet. No mention of Obama cutting the waste out of government programs line by line.
    This is for girls, excuse me, women and, ironically, it is condescending, and insulting to them. But, then again, the ones who like this commercial are too stupid to notice.
    Pathetic.

  • ||

    THIS.

    This ad says "Women should vote for Obama, becuase he's dreamy, and you'll get free birth control and stuff. "

    I'd like to see an ad from the Democratic side that says "We understand that women are just as concerned about the budget deficit, marginal tax rates, and unemployment as men."

    Instead we get ads that talk about education and healthcare like we all secretly want to be teachers and nurses. And insulting tripe telling us that women are JUST GAGA for the DREAMY President.

  • Drunk Jamie||

    Makes me want to fuck one of Obama's daughters. Hard.

  • ||

    OK, since this has to be epically retarded, someone describe it as I am at work and cannot WTFV.

  • ||

    Retarded TEAM BLUE toadie talks about how much of an Obama fluffer she is, even though she don't like the meat loaf.

  • ||

    OK, can someone translate sage's gibberish for me, as I am at work and I don't speak imbecile?

    "She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn't speak imbecile."

  • ||

    Watch it on your phone in the shitter. It'll help things along.

  • ||

    I just took a dump like half an hour ago. I don't think I can muster up another one for at least 20 minutes, and I'm not patient enough to wait. Now tell me what I want to know!

  • Sudden||

    Yell at the toilet like Kim Il Sung taking a shit:

    "COLON POWWELL!!!!11!1!1!!!!"

  • ||

    WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR?!?

  • JW||

    "Atta boy! You tell that turd who's in charge!"

  • Tman||

    Unattractive lesbian with overwhelming sense of self-importance uses the euphemism of her "first time having sex" as a description of her first vote for the glorious leader, PBUH President Not My Fault. Brings up the stupid fucking Leadbetter act again, how Obama personally carried each military member out of Iraq on his back and all around loves women UNLIKE THAT TERRIBLE HORRIBLE SATANIC MORMON WHO EATS BABIES AND RAPES WOMEN.

    Vote Barack! (swoon...)

  • ||

    Sounds epically retarded.

    SEE HOW IT'S DONE SAGE?

    It's interesting watching how the TEAMs manipulate their sheep. People were disappointed in the Big O, so they just cranked "hate the other, the other TEAM is evil" up to 11 and the sheep fall right back in line.

  • Tman||

    The funny part for me is I fucking HATED Obama since 2008 and didn't need any help from the GOP with that. His "soaring rhetoric" was familiar to me after being raised in Cambridge, MA and listening to various versions of Obama preach the gospel to their progressive brethren. The all sound the same and haven't changed their tune since the 70's (maybe even earlier). Obama was the trump race card they had been waiting for for decades to finally show that they were "like down with the bruthas man, and we will help them FIGHT THE MAN. Free Mumia!"

    I finally woke up after leaving that cocoon and realizing that liberals and progressives don't give a SHIT about the poor or minorities if they don't tow the party line, and Obama was the final and perfect example. Black and not voting for Obama? You must be a RACIST.

    I hate him and everything he stands for with a passion. The GOP could nominate Satan this year and I would probably vote for him over Obama. Nothing will make me happier than to watch the salty ham tears flow when this asshole finally gets taken down a notch and is forced to work the Bubba Clinton circuit with people constantly reminding him of what a failure to the cause he was.

  • Killazontherun||

    I had to read a chunk of Paradise Lost in high school. Have to admit, Satan gives a damn good speech.

  • ||

    We are like soul-brothers, Tman. So feeling you.

  • Pound. Head. On. Desk.||

    I haven't worn my FRY MUMIA shirt in a long time...

  • Paul.||

    Unattractive lesbian with overwhelming sense of self-importance uses the euphemism of her "first time having sex" as a description of her first vote for the glorious leader,

    Her first time having sex musta SUUUCKED.

  • JW||

    I think this finally completes the "Get Fucked Hard by Obama" series.

  • ||

    icwutudidthar

  • General Butt Naked||

    uses the euphemism of her "first time having sex" as a description of her first vote for the glorious leader

    Jesus, I'd de-genital myself with a rusty spoon if that thought ever crossed my mind.

  • Agammamon||

    ". . . of her "first time having sex" as a description of her first vote for the glorious leader. . ."

    Wait, she's saying that her vote for Obama was an uncomfortable, somewhat painful, messy trainwreck?

  • PapayaSF||

    Also vote for the person who "cares" if you have health insurance and "especially birth control."

  • RobSmalls||

    That pre-pubescent boy has the right idea. Barack Obama 2012!

  • PapayaSF||

    It's Pat!

  • ||

    At least we're pretty sure she was 18. Unless she's in one of those states that doesn't have a voter ID law.

  • widget||

    So voting for Barack Obama makes you a woman. That's certainly a lot easier than having operations and taking hormones.

  • Drunk Jamie||

    So if you walk in a girl to the voting booth and vote for Gary Johnson, you come out Jenna Jameson.

  • widget||

    Tera Patrick! Tera is the porn star who is actively opposing LA's measure B that requires male porn actors to wear a condom.

  • Drunk Jamie||

    That would seem in violation of the Equal Protection Clause. *ba-da boom* I'll be here all night. Jerking off.

  • Sudden||

    I was planning on trying to organize a "No on Measure B" rally and do it in front of either a church or school (or better yet, Catholic school!) and see if we got people honking their horns in agreement. Maybe I'll throw a Gadsden flag into the mix so people think it's a tax protest.

    For the LULZ.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    If it were measure DD she'd be all for it.

  • Bee Tagger||

    I was just thinking the one thing McSweeney's 90 reasons was missing was an A/V cable.

  • Mint Berry Crunch||

    Am I an out-of-touch old fart if I had no fucking clue (before a Wikipedia search) who this woman is?

    The ugly tattoo got me thinking she might be a pornstar, but her face isn't pretty enough.

  • Paul.||

    Until we see her ass, the Jury's still out.

  • ||

    I wouldn't hit this:

    Woof

  • Pound. Head. On. Desk.||

    I've been inspired to poetry:

    How does she gross me out? Let me count the ways...

    Catchy start, huh?

  • Ted S.||

    It doesn't scan properly. Each line in a sonnet has ten syllables. Your line has 11.

    (There are verse forms that alternate between 10- and 11-syllable lines, but I can't remember the name for that offhand.)

  • ||

  • Paul.||

    You dirty motherfucker. There isn't a hot enough place in hell...

  • Bill||

    Was that your wife?

  • Paul.||

    No! I thought it was your mom!

  • JW||

    Yeah...I'm gonna have to kill you now.

    Nothing personal.

  • ||

    When I ambush him later on his ferry I'll put in a few extra blows for you.

  • ||

    Hey at least I posted a pic with the "ladyparts" blurred out.

  • JW||

    Very true. For that, it will be a quick and merciful death.

  • Restoras||

    I hate you.

  • Pound. Head. On. Desk.||

    Or if you prefer:

    Shall I compare the to a winter day?
    From that pic it's more like a couple weeks.
    You remember that Christmas Eve?
    The 2004 storm where the power was still out a week into 2005.
    We saw each other across the room.
    And I decided I'd rather slowly, painfully freeze to death.

    OK,so my poetry career is off to a rocky start...

  • Drake||

    She's a retard who plays a retard on HBO.

  • Ted Levy||

    I'm sorry for my cultural illiteracy, but is Lena Dunham supposed to be someone for whose opinion I should have any concern?

  • Paul.||

    Oh, was the woman girl in the video supposed to be famous? I thought it was some actor hired for the video.

  • ||

    I thought she was some sort of genetically engineered horror that was designed to make me remember every fat girl I've ever woken up next to.

  • Paul.||

    All of them? At the same time?

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Isn't she the one who let Steve Garvey's ball go between her legs?

  • JW||

    is Lena Dunham supposed to be someone for whose opinion I should have any concern?

    Other than avoiding it? Nope.

  • ||

    Girl...you'll be a woman...soon.

  • ||

  • Paul.||

    Needs more mention of ladyparts.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Johnson?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    What do you need that for, Dude?

  • Jerry on the road||

    She was 18 in 2004, so her first time was with John Kerry. Ewwww.

  • widget||

    It should be with a guy with beautiful.../chop

    I know my limits. I am unworthy to finish that sentence.

  • Sudden||

    It had originally said "beautiful eyes" in the transcript, but the actual speech sounded too much like "beautiful lies" which would also fit in with both a) anything and everything Obama has said and b) the metaphor of your first time with a man (claims to love you, penetrates, and disappears the next day).

  • ||

    Testicles. The end to that statement is testicles. Come, just say it. You'll feel better.

  • Sudden||

    That particular Jezbian would never find testicles particularly attractive, let alone beautiful. I think she'd be more interested in Michelle's exotic FUPA.

  • Bill||

    Unlike most other people, you mean?

  • ||

    It doesn't change the truth of my statement one bit.

    Dennis: You're watching my tapes again?

    Mac: Yeah.

    Dennis: What'd you think?
    Mac: You got weird balls.

    Dennis: Hm.

    Charlie: You should see Frank's balls. They're like planets.

  • JW||

    Liver. With a fine chianti.

  • Generic Stranger||

    Don't worry; so was she.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    My first time was with Bob Dole. He didn't even need any blue pills.

  • Sudden||

    My first time was with Harry Browne.

    And yes, that does make it sound as though my first time was sodomy.

  • Fluffy||

    My first was Pappy Bush. And he won.

    Can you believe I had a chance to vote Paul on the L line and didn't take it?

    That is probably why I never bitched that he didn't go third party last time or this time. I don't have the fucking right. I had a chance to cast that vote and didn't take it.

  • JW||

    Can you believe I had a chance to vote Paul on the L line and didn't take it?

    I did, in '88. It was to make amends for the '84 Mondale vote of my callow yout'.

  • robc||

    Ditto on everything Fluffy said.

    I even registered GOP (shudder) in 2008 to make it up to the Doctor.

  • Enyap||

    My first was with Bob Barr. Great mustache ride, but then he went and cheated with those whores Baby Doc and Gingrich.

  • JeremyR||

    Interesting article on why open borders will drive big government:

    http://www.miamiherald.com/201.....pains.html

    Basically, hispanics really, really like government.

    "In a recent American National Elections Study, in answer to the question: “Which of these two statements comes closer to your opinion, (1) The less government the better, or (2) there are more things the government should be doing;” 47.4 percent of the white non-Hispanic population responded “the less government the better.” In contrast, only 17.9 percent of Hispanics responded similarly."

    But then, the people at Reason don't believe in voting, apparently they think a libertarian government is just going to magically happen

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    It probably has more to do with being poor than being Hispanic.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    It probably has more to do with being poor than being Hispanic.

    Maybe.

    On the one hand, you have the concept of the caudillo, which has been a part of Hispanic culture for a long time.

    On the other hand, Muthafuckin' Hernando de Soto and the Institute for Liberty and Democracy, bitchez!

  • VG Zaytsev||

    What's the matter with Kansas?

  • Sudden||

    An entire population of humanity represented in part with the word "panic" and you expected them to be in favor of smaller govt?

  • Calidissident||

    People can say whatever they want. White people have done nothing in practice to show that they agree with that statement

  • Bananafish||

    Maybe they are mostly Mexicans and think that the Mexican government should do more to stop the slaughter of innocent people by the cartels.

  • Cytotoxic||

    So the way you're going to prevent driving big government is with...big government.

    As if white people drive for the Total State just as much.

  • Lisa||

    Pretty much the whole world really likes government.

  • robc||

    Just because we allow them to move and work here doesnt mean we have to make them citizens.

  • Brandybuck||

    From the tats I would guess her first time was age twelve, behind the shed with her cousin. Not that I have anything against tattoos, but it's just not my style to write "SLUT" across my skin.

  • Sudden||

    but it's just not my style to write "SLUT" across my skin.

    When you look like her, that's about the only way you'll get any interest at a bar come last call.

  • JW||

    I thought it was a massive bruise.

  • Sudden||

    That would be apropos as well.

    "I know I should leave him, what with all the bruises and such he's given me. But he says he really loves me and says he's going to change."

  • Fatty Bolger||

    My first should have been Reagan, but I was underage, and Ronnie was a gentleman.

    Not that he needed my help.

  • Drake||

    That was my first vote and my freshmen year in college. It felt so wonderful. The bitter hippie tears were like ambrosia.

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    They were like nectar if you consider tears a beverage. Ambrosia was the food of the gods.

    Eh, it's like you guys didn't pay any attention in your bullshit mythology waste of money college courses.

  • Drake||

    I felt like a god that day. Taxes were going to stay low for the rest of my life. The government was going to shrink, not grow. The Democratic Party was vanquished. The Rockefeller wing of the Republican Party was dead - Goldwater types were permanently in charge.

    We were going to win the Cold War, then usher in an era of peace and freedom.

  • ||

    1.5 out of 5 ....

  • KDN||

    I love the blue freckle of DC.

    Why do they have 3 electoral votes again? Can't Congress just cede the entire city save the mall to Maryland?

  • Lyle||

    Romney or bust!

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    She's actually good for the deficit though, as her birth control bill is probably more like $18 a year. That's if we count yeast spores as births.

  • geo1113||

    She does resemble Sandra Fluke.

  • ||

    FUCK YES CONAN

  • Sudden||

    In honor of this news

    And yes, remarkably apt for this thread. That is, assuming you can classify the particular strain of humanity in the posted video as "woman".

  • Sudden||

    Speaking of "women", I have a theory on the feminist use of womyn instead.

    They are jealous of men (aren't all left wing pathologies rooted in envy?). And so, since they cannot have a Y chromosome, they adopt the "y" for their gender.

  • widget||

    So what are the womyn going to do with "she"? And what is the singular of "womyn"?

  • ||

    "Womin"?

  • mr simple||

    You mean ze,the gender neutral third person singular pronoun?

  • Thane of Whiterun||

  • ||

    Obama, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad, why we fought, or why we died.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Is he playing Conan's father?

    Seriously though, that's awesome.

  • widget||

    It would be awesome if he got his plumpy body back in shape, traveled back in time, a slew the governor of California before the he signed the Global Warming Final Solutions Act.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    He was able to get back in pretty good shape for his cameo in Terminator Salvation so I don't see why he can't do it again for another Conan.

  • ||

    Dianabol and HGH are magic.

  • General Butt Naked||

    So are functioning testicles, but hey, to each his own.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    Arnold's functioning testicles have gotten him in enough trouble already.

  • Cytotoxic||

    OH HELL YES

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    Yeah, that was awful. Are you yanquis done with your election game yet?
    I'd rather watch a Florida Panthers - Calgary Flames game.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    So she used the Diebold machine like a marital aid? I don't understand the premise of this sitcom at all.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    needs a laugh track, like Big Bang Theory.

  • ||

    I think you can only get it if you also like 30 Rock.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I do like 30 Rock, so once again you've been proven wrong. By me. On the internet. In front of EVERYONE.

  • ||

    I can't believe you fell into my trap and actually admitted this. It's like you're not even trying.

  • ||

    FOE doesn't have to TRY to be awesome. He just IS, it's self-evident, except to internet deviants.

  • ||

    Internet?!?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Everyone on the internet is a deviant. That's why I never go near the thing.

  • ||

    Ha! Excuses. Poor ones at that; we all know The Intertoobz is just not that into you, FoE. -)))

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I think you, darius and I all know that's not true.

  • Fluffy||

    30 Rock is a good show.

    You know what else? Tiny Fey - yes. Why, yes I would.

  • Cytotoxic||

    + both statements

  • AuH2O||

    Silly Fist. Thinking that Epi experiences emotions like shame.

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    WAYNES WORLD! WAYNE'S WORLD! PARTY ON! EXCELLENT!

    Wait, that's not Mike Myers. Dig the sideburns though.

  • sticks||

    Kill it with piss and cum.

  • teen girl||

    ewww

  • The Derider||

    That's a classy rape-themed headline, dudes!

    Can't imagine what women have against the libertarian party. Don't they know you guys love freedom???

  • petulant child||

    WHY?

  • JW||

    Shut the fuck up, joe.

    The only one raping anything here is you on credibility.

  • ||

    MINSTREL HUMOR

    DISGRACEFUL

  • ||

    Is joe tall enough to rape his own credibility?

  • JW||

    He has a special box for it.

  • ||

    This is even stupider than your usual shit, joe. Why don't you throw a tantrum over it, call us racists, and say you'll never come back?

  • The Derider||

    I'm really glad you're ignoring my advice, because I like voting for a political party that actually wins elections.

  • JW||

    I like voting for a political party that actually wins elections kills children and suspends habeas corpus.

    Fixed that for you.

  • The Derider||

    Yeah, holding political power in the United States sometimes involves doing shitty things.

    You don't ever need to worry about it.

  • ||

    Oh my, this is delicious. Let that mask slip, joe! Let it slip, scumbag. Please, PLEASE tell me you're drunk.

  • The Derider||

    Every president in the history of the United States has done shitty things.

    Was every person who supported any president in the history of the united states a "mendacious partisan scumbag fuck"?

  • ||

    Yes, but most especially you, joe.

  • JW||

    It's good to know that Nixon and Dubya have your unflagging support.

    God damn, if you wouldn't have made such a useful toadie for the Central Committee. You missed your calling.

  • Rights-Minimalist Autocrat||

    God damn, if you wouldn't have made such a useful toadie for the Central Committee. You missed your calling.

    Actually, I picture him torturing the secretary to get the location of the Gulag Archipelago manuscript, then laughing when she committed "suicide" a few days later.

  • JW||

    I only need to worry about being an unwilling victim to you and your thugs.

    Go win one, joe. Win one for the droned wedding parties.

  • The Derider||

    Leave while you can, before they start confiscating the property of emigrants.

    That seastead is calling!

  • ||

    They already do you brain-dead fuck.

  • ||

    Thanks for admitting you care nothing about principles and only about winning, joe. It's about time you came clean about being a mendacious partisan scumbag fuck.

  • JW||

    Party before people.

  • The Derider||

    I care about issues AND about winning. Because without the latter, the former doesn't matter.

  • JW||

    Who wouldn't you kill or throw into jail to not win, joe?

    Rational, civilized minds want to know.

  • The Derider||

    I wouldn't do either to WIN.

    I'd do either in the course of governing if the alternatives were bad enough.

  • ||

    I'm sorry, your comment has been rejected due to not meeting height requirements. Please try again.

  • ||

    You really must be drunk. This is great stuff, joe. Just be honest about what you really are. It'll feel good! You'll like it!

  • JW||

    You do it every fucking day, scumbag. You happily, eagerly, aid and abet. Every atrocity committed by your gang is on your hands.

    You and your ilk make me wish that Hell and karma were real.

  • widget||

    My brain hurts.

  • sticks||

    "My brain hurts" Great album or best album?

  • Art Vandelay||

    Oh, look at the little fella! He posted a comment all on his own!

    "I care about issues AND about winning."

    One more than the other, obviously.

  • John C. Randolph||

    I'm happy for you that you enjoy being a Ruling Party toady. I'm reminded of the words of Sam Adams:

    If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom — go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!

    Of course, you won't get wealthy under this particular Ruling Party's plunder-and-bailout program, but you get the idea.

    -jcr

  • The Derider||

    I'm glad you agree that the libertarian party has no chance whatsoever to win.

    Don't do anything to try and change that outcome. Failure is inevitable.

  • JW||

    joe is the old gum on the heel of the boot stamping on a human face, forever.

  • injanear||

    Indulge us...what is it that you have won?

  • ||

    He won the game!

  • ||

    I'm glad you agree that the libertarian party has no chance whatsoever to win.

    Don't do anything to try and change that outcome. Failure is inevitable.

    opps...

    The mask is full off now. Joe just told us he thinks Obama is going to lose.

    We get his tasty salty tears 12 days in advance.

    Hey Joe how will it feel when the Johnson vote is the margin between the Obama loss and Romney win?

    I know your tears will taste all the better.

  • John C. Randolph||

    I'm glad you agree that the libertarian party has no chance whatsoever to win.

    Did I ever say the LP is going to win? I don't see that happening before you Obamney fluffers drag us into a Soviet-style collapse.

    -jcr

  • ||

    I'm really glad you're ignoring my advice, because I like voting for a political party that actually wins elections.

    So it isn't about right and wrong, it is about winning. You are really an ugly pile of shit.

    You know who else won elections?

  • ||

    I can imagine what women have against you, joe. Short, stupid, and angry aren't the most charming characteristics for pulling in the ladies.

  • JW||

    Demeaning, arrogant and ill-tempered. Don't forget his better qualities!

  • The Derider||

    Aren't those the assumed traits of every H+R commenter?

  • ||

    And like clockwork, TEAM BLUE joe engages in projection. It's like you want to be as predictable as possible. It must be because you're an idiot.

  • ||

    Do you notice how he's claiming to speak for women? How...what's the word? Oh, right, sexist.

  • The Derider||

    Yes, suggesting women might be repulsed by a rape joke makes ME the sexist.

  • JW||

    I'm pretty sure that they can do that all by themselves there, big guy.

    What a hero.

  • ||

    joe figures that women might talk to him if he collectivizes then and decides to speak for all of them as if they were all exactly the same.

    Yes, joe is fucking retarded.

  • The Derider||

    I'm pretty sure you don't have to be a woman to recognize sexism.

  • ||

    I'm pretty sure you couldn't recognize anything except identity politics even if it was as short as you and actually on your eye level.

    Fuck, you're stupid.

  • JW||

    No, but you only have to be a self-absorbed twerp to think you need to speak for them.

  • ||

    No, but you do have to 1) have a brain, and 2) be tall enough. You fail on both accounts.

  • ||

    It's not a rape joke. It dates back to the journal of a early 20th century British Lady describing in her diary when she did when her husband came knocking late at night.

  • sticks||

    It was not a classy ad. Equating your first vote and your first lay is fucking sick. The headline is appropriate.

  • The Derider||

    I'm sure that's what women think.

  • sticks||

    Eat my shit. Thanks.

  • The Derider||

    Your concern for the opinions of women is noted.

  • ||

    Your false concern for the opinions of women is noted, shitbag.

  • sticks||

    Your arrogance in thinking you speak for any women other than possibly yourself is noted and shat upon.

    Hugzzzz. Xoxoxox

  • The Derider||

    Wow, you guys are reaching pretty hard on this one.

  • ||

    Wow Joe, you're reaching pretty high on this one.

  • Cytotoxic||

    And he still can't get up anyone's stairs.

  • Sudden||

    Wow, you guys are reaching pretty hard on this one.

    WHOA MAN, TONE DOWN THE GAY JOKES. DON'T YOU REALIZE HOW OFFENSIVE THAT IS?!?!?!?!?!?!

  • ||

    And I'm sure you have no fucking idea what women think, you fucking moron.

  • Killazontherun||

    I think I may know what joe's problem is now. Remember when he said he drove around in a girly car with a collapsible roof? With a redhead riding shotgun? This is what he didn't tell us. The car belongs to his mother, the redhead was his mother, and joe too is a ginger. It all makes since now. Poor fucking bastard, why doesn't he just shoot himself?

  • juris imprudent||

    Joe lives in MA - he can't shoot himself.

  • Sudden||

    I happen to believe that most women have greater concerns than simply their vag and are far more interested in the good of the country as a whole (no pun intended).

    This sort of identity politicking shows the left for what it really is and how little faith it actually has in the ability of people to think broadly.

    It demonstrates at a visceral level TEAM BLUE's complete and utter lack of awareness: the people that think self-interest is vile in the economic sphere appeal only to self interest where electoral politics are concerned.

  • The Derider||

    What do you think about women's opinions of rape jokes?

  • ||

    Do they all have the same opinion? When they speak about it does it come out like "BAA BAA BAA BAA"?

  • The Derider||

    I'm thinking in a statistical sense, like "what percentage of women do you think would be offended by a rape joke"?

    I think that percentage of women would be statistically significant. I'm suggesting this might be a reason that there aren't a lot of women around here.

  • JW||

    Go ask your mom what she thinks. She's right upstairs.

  • ||

    Goal posts don't move on their own I guess.

  • petulant child||

    for a short man, joe moves a lot of goal posts.
    He must have a tractor.

  • ||

    Why is this not a haiku?

    must have a tractor
    he moves a lot of goalposts
    joe is a short man

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    Why is this not a haiku?

    must have a tractor
    he moves a lot of goalposts
    joe is a short man

    I laughed far too hard at this.

  • R C Dean||

    Works better for me if you reorder the lines:

    must have a tractor
    he moves a lot of goalposts
    joe is a short man

    Either way, though, well done.

  • ||

    I'm thinking in a statistical sense, like "what percentage of people do you think would be stupid enough to this is a rape joke"?

  • ||

    Depends on the demographic. Are we only polling retard dwarf city planners from the northeast?

  • widget||

  • Fluffy||

    Man, I wish a donkey would rape you, Joe.

    It would be really funny to see it pound you with its giant donkey dick.

    (I LOL'd.)

  • Sudden||

    First, I don't think of women as some sort of monolithic group that has a single, agreed upon position about anything. Rather, I think of each individual woman as having an independent opinion regarding all manner of things, including the phrase posted above.

    As for the "rape joke", this particular phrase a cultural artifact has never been a joke and was actually coined by a woman (Lady Hillingdon). Moreover, in this context, I think anyone without a propensity toward and active search of feelings of aggrievement would note the title for what it is, comparing the act of choosing either TEAM BE RULED clown as akin to whoring yourself out.

  • Graphite||

  • MJGreen||

    First, I don't think of women as some sort of monolithic group that has a single, agreed upon position about anything.

    Seriously? They only make up the majority of the human population. Trying to speak for all of them can't be too unreasonable.

  • Sudden||

    Yeah, but it's a slim majority. Barely 50% +1

  • amelia||

    Thank you. It's not a rape joke at all. To interpret it as such strikes me as a bit feverish.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    tv tropes has an entry on it:

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmw.....kOfEngland

    It's in a text talking about a woman's wedding night (at the time, presumed to be the night she lost her virginity).

    "For women, sex is a chore, a duty that must be endured. God knows they don't enjoy the sex act. Headaches, stomache aches and periods can only postpone the unpleasant act. Then it's time to grit your teeth, hike your skirt, Lie Back and Think of England."

    So fuck off, Joe.

    And hopefully the spam filter doesn't mark spit this out, this time.

  • ||

    Rape jokes are funny fuckface. Two off the top of my head. Carlin's Elmer Fudd fuckiing Porky Pig. #2, Blazing Saddle's We'll do a number 6.

    Now please go fuck yourself.

  • Killazontherun||

    the people that think self-interest is vile in the economic sphere appeal only to self interest where electoral politics are concerned.

    Some editor twenty years ago is going to go through this blog looking for quotes. They would have to be dense not to pick up on that one.

  • Killazontherun||

    20 years from now.

    Thursday evenings, I don't do sobriety.

  • John C. Randolph||

  • ||

    You SF'd the link, JCR, sorry to say.

  • John C. Randolph||

    Aaargh! Typos do vex me!

    Anyhow, here's the link again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFBOQzSk14c

    -jcr

  • ||

    As a woman, it's what I think.

    What do the Democrats think of us, that we vote based on our romantic feelings for the candidates? That we're like giggling girls swooning before The One?

    It's INSULTING.

    Is that isn't a sexist ad, what the fuck is?

    Do recall any Clinton ads featuring men talking about Hillary as their romantic high school sweetheart?

  • John C. Randolph||

    I'm sure that anyone who diddled Hillary in high school will take that secret to their grave.

    -jcr

  • ||

    Compared to the patronizing treatment Democrats give women, this is awesome.

    I like being treated like a thinking adult.

    Democrats seem to think that women are robots programmed to think only about education and health care. Apparently due to our innate teacher and nurse genes.

  • John C. Randolph||

    From what I've seen in the media lately, they're not even giving you that much credit. They seem to think they'll get the monolithic female vote by promising you tax-funded birth control pills.

    -jcr

  • wakeup||

    Have we found Obama's Kenyan birth video?

  • Killazontherun||

    Holy shit. In this episode of All Things FuckedUp, the shark is driving the motorcycle over the tank, and the nuclear bomb blows up under the fridge sending Indy to the moon.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    That kid is huge, his head is almost bigger that "Ann"s.

  • tarran||

    In the comments its ripped apart as a hoax: the Kenyan flag is a variant introduced after Obama was born, for example.

  • Gladstone||

    Some righties are accusing this of being a ripoff of this Putin ad:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?f.....oo0lzJILaM

  • widget||

    Vladimir Putin has beautiful testicles.

  • John C. Randolph||

    Putin may be an autocratic SOB, but he sure understands the basics of advertising.

    -jcr

  • Ken Barber||

    Sixty-two seconds of my life that I will never get back...

  • MJGreen||

    Now we're talking about my first time! You know what I'm talking about!

  • Killazontherun||

    62 seconds I'll gladly cleave like a limb in a bear trap from my life.

  • General Butt Naked||

    Real cool video. A doc talking about what bullets do the body.

    Complete with german accent, detached cold descriptions and gory pics.

    Pretty interesting, and not preachy at all.

  • ||

    So I have to pay so this ugly woman-thing can slut around?

  • wakeup||

    Here's the Real October Surprise: US and Israel prepare to strike Iran

  • Lisa||

    I could totally see Obama doing something like that so he'd have to declare an emergency executive order to stop the election.

  • Lisa||

    I mean after the inevitable consequences

  • wakeup||

    Like Obama, 9/11 is not looked at by the ignorant segments of the public with a critical eye. The myth of 9/11 satisfies their curiousity as does the myth of Obama.

  • wakeup||

  • ||

    It seemed to me there was a nice period when we didn't have Joe. When he was too busy sucking Obama's cock. I assume that if the the Icompetent-in-chief wins, we will again get a reprieve from this shit-bag.

  • RightNut||

    CREEPY. AS. ALL. FUCK.

  • Fluffy||

    You know that part in Sideways when the guy who also played the cartoonist had to go and get the guy from Wings' wallet, and those two really repulsive people are fucking in that apartment, and it's one of the many, many scenes in Sideways where you're supposed to be painfully aware of exactly how horrible and disgusting the world is, and how misanthropy and revulsion should be your reaction to everything?

    That's what I felt like watching this video.

    I have to imagine that this girl's show would be like that, squared.

    I'm really happy I don't have HBO.

  • SIV||

    HBO is like Lifetime and Oxygen COMBINED, only they don't bleep the fuck word.

  • ||

    Then there's Larry David, social assassin.

  • Killazontherun||

    He cares. He cares. He cares.

    About you.

    Bet there are millions of dads who wished they never sat their daughter in front of touchy feely cartoons full of rainbows and unicorns and teddy bears, and messages about 'caring and sharing' back in the 80's and 90's because this is what they have turned into. And they are the enemy.

  • Graphite||

    Bet there are millions of dads who wished they never sat their daughter in front of touchy feely cartoons full of rainbows and unicorns and teddy bears, and messages about 'caring and sharing' back in the 80's and 90's ...

    I bet not.

  • Killazontherun||

    The moment she moved back in and started to yap about 'the patriarchy', and left him with 80,000 dollars of debt spent on her two Hate Studies degrees, she became the enemy.

  • AuH2O||

    Eh, her family is all rich New York liberal types, and her show features all of her rich female friends as the leads. I mean, seriously, she managed to get her first film into the Criteron Collection not due to talent or sex appeal, and that shit was shot in her family's Tribeca loft.

    Lena Dunham's "success" is really just proof of the power of nepotism.

  • Graphite||

    I'm just saying I doubt many fathers with feminist daughters are blaming 80s cartoon shows because it's a bizarre connection to make.

  • Killazontherun||

    Dads asks themselves where did it all go wrong all the time. No reason for them not to go back to the earliest exposure to mindcrap for a root cause.

  • Cytotoxic||

    I got half way through before UNCONTROLLABLE VOMITING.

  • wingnutx||

    This is a knockoff of a Putin ad, except Putin had a really hot chick in his.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    You mean this one?

  • wingnutx||

    I covet that giraffe.

  • ||

    Wow, what an amazingly insulting ad.

    So, women are all, like, giggling teenage girls, nervously awaiting the moment when 'The One' will "penetrate" their hearts, and their ballots?

    What. The. Fuck.

    This is almost like an ad MOCKING young women who voted for Obama in 2008.
    Seriously.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    He slept a summer by my side
    He filled my days with endless wonder
    He took my childhood in his stride
    But he was gone when autumn came

    And still I dream he'll come to me
    That we will live the years together
    But there are dreams that cannot be
    And there are storms we cannot weather

  • ||

    Yes, thank you. I'm sure a bunch of little old ladies are going to see this ad, and remember their first time getting laid in a drive-thru movie theater in 1967.

    Oh, Obama, *swoon*

  • juris imprudent||

    This is almost like an ad MOCKING young women who voted for Obama in 2008.

    This is the real life Julia.

  • Ted S.||

    Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the".

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    The woman in the video is named Denham. Obama's mother was named Dunham. Too close for comfort, if you ask me.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Proof that Obama's a mother fucker.

  • Ken Shultz||

    Obama's becoming boring.

    That can be a big problem for a president, when people start finding you boring.

    Americans hate boring.

    And Barack Obama is boring.

    His ads are boring.

    His speeches are boring.

    Obama's been saying the same thing for four years. If he was a television show, they'd cancel him for being boring.

  • ||

    Boring isn't the word. Vomit-inducing is more like it.

    That ad is an insult to the intelligence of every woman in America.
    Especially the ones who vote Democratic.

  • PapayaSF||

    As Hazel says, this ad is not boring (I'd say train-wreck fascinating), but otherwise, absolutely. He has become boring in the way something fascinating can turn boring. Obama had the right marketing campaign four years ago, but it won't work a second time. Too many people have felt the results, and seen the out-of-it and/or annoyingly peevish Obama of the debates.

    I predict that in the privacy of the voting booth, lots more people are going to vote against him (or not vote at all) than the polls suggest.

  • Lewisite||

    ^This

    It’s a crying assed shame when the novelty wears off for a one trick pony. I suppose it’s like when a kid wants a kitten so bad...because it’s cute, but then it grows up and loses its cuteness and eventually finds its way to the pound.

  • Ken Shultz||

    I predict that in the privacy of the voting booth, lots more people are going to vote against him (or not vote at all) than the polls suggest.

    Yeah, I think it's like a lot of people are bored out of their mind with Obama. You call them up, and they tell you they plan to vote for him--like they plan on starting to exercise more and go on a diet. Obama supporters may say what they think they're supposed to say when you call them up on the phone, but they're as bored out of their minds as the rest of us. Why the hell would you go out of your way to vote on the way home--for someone as boring as Obama is?

    Obama's so boring.

    It's like listening to an old man tell war stories.

    I swear to God, it was fascinating the first 50 times you told that story, Grandaddy!

    ...but nobody wants to tell him he's already told that story 50 times before.

    So, he keeps telling the same story over and over again, and every time, he acts like it's the first time we've ever heard it!

    You know that old saying about how if you say something often enough, it somehow becomes true? Well, I don't know if repetition makes it true, but I know it definitely makes it boring.

    boring, Boring, BORING!

    Obama is BOOOoooOOOOOOORING!

  • PapayaSF||

    And I think (or at least hope) that the Democrats have shot themselves in the foot with the "disagreeing with Obama is racist" meme. It's boring AND offensive. You may not say it to a pollster, but in the privacy of the voting booth, a vote against Obama might be a satisfying "fuck you."

  • ||

    As for the "rape joke", this particular phrase a cultural artifact has never been a joke and was actually coined by a woman (Lady Hillingdon).

    Hey joe, I noticed that you didn't respond to this. Why didn't you respond to this, joe? I'd like to know what you think about this, joe. Would you like to respond to this, joe?

  • wingnutx||

    Rape rape is no laughing matter.

  • Gladstone||

    Seems the phrase has almost always been used as a jab at Victorian sexual mores so I wouldn't really call it a "joke" let alone a rape joke

  • ||

    That ad is blatantly sexist, and the Obama campaign should be ashamed of having made it.
    I wouldn't be surprised if they were forced to pull it in a couple of days. If it doesn't generate appalled reactions from a large swath of American women then I'll be disgusted with women in general.
    I surely hope that most American women aren't the giggling air-heads who think of candidates as potential romantic partners.
    I know this is a popular theme in the media (women like go CRAZY for him1), but I'd like to think most of us are a bit more mature than a 1960s Elvis fangirl.

  • PapayaSF||

    From their point of view, it's progressive, edgy, sex-positive, and multicultural. Young white lesbian hints at sex with older black guy: other than possibly offending some lesbians who don't like bi girls, it hits the right buttons for the current lefty mindset.

    Fascinating that they are playing so much to their base in the closing weeks. That is not the sign of a winning campaign.

  • Voros McCracken||

    Dunham's not actually gay is she?

  • PapayaSF||

    You're telling me that this woman is straight? I could well be wrong, but on my gaydar she pegged the needle.

  • Voros McCracken||

    I tried to look it up (why?) and as best as I can tell she is.

  • R C Dean||

    Which raises the question:

    Why do lesbians need birth control? Much less birth control on someone else's dime?

  • ||

    It may be all of those things AND SEXIST.

    Because it regards the female voter as someone who votes with her genitals. Someone who is ruled by emotion and gets giddy feelings and touches herself when she thinks of her favorite candidate.

    I don't care how "sex-positive" it is. It is SEXIST to portray female voters as having "sex-positive" feelings about political candidates. It is SEXIST to run an ad that portrays women as being motivated by romantic attraction to the candidate.

    Now some people occasionaly may portray male voters as voting with their dicks, but usually that isn't meant as a compliment, and it certainly isn't thought to be a cute way of selling the candidate to men.

    The ad sends a clear messade to young women: "We have no respect for your intelligence, and everyone knows you vote with your gonads, so Vote for Barack, because it would be Romantic! He's SO DREAMY!"

  • JW||

    All I got out of it is that power is an aphrodisiac, Dunham is not only an easier lay than a drunk sorority pledge, but also an insufferable, social climbing star fucker.

  • ||

    What I got out of it is Dunham gets all tingly when she thinks about voting for Barack.

    She probably lies down and listens to 'Like a Virgin' while reading his National Economic Plan pamphlet.

  • 0x90||

    Also note that the ad is targeted not at women in general, but specifically at those between the ages of 18 and 22, giving it an even greater creepiness factor. As a fun exercise, let's take the same message, but replace the actor with a different spokesperson, say for example, an Anthony Wiener or a reanimated Ted Kennedy.

  • ||

    Or Bill Clinton.

  • wakeup||

    WHERE WAS BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA BORN?
    It's a simple question MORONS

  • 0x90||

    He was born on earth. Though some seem to believe otherwise.

  • wakeup||

    PROVE IT

  • 0x90||

    Prove what? That it makes no difference where, or even if, he was born, since it would either be him, or another, who holds absolute power over your very life? And that you appear to be pretty okay with that fact? But that is not where you're trying to go with this, is it. No, instead, you're fixated on a complete non-factor.

    Doubtless you've been told before: you have wandered into the wrong place.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    He was born nearly 150 million miles from where he was inaugurated.

  • 0x90||

    WAS HE BORN OF A VIRGIN? PROVE IT

  • PapayaSF||

    I've got to say, wakeup, that of late you have become the most annoying commenter here. Please try to stay on topic and say something interesting or clever.

  • John C. Randolph||

    1) He was born in Hawaii, and
    2) It doesn't matter, since there's no question that his mother was a US citizen.

    If you're going to knock Obama, how about mentioning his actual crimes instead of this retarded wish of yours that you can somehow find a magic bullet that disqualifies him for the presidency?

    -jcr

  • Spokanite||

    The ad is not very good. But the misogyny and homophobia in the comments on this thread are disgusting.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    At least no one said cunt this time.

  • wingnutx||

    Twat?

    I cunt hear you.

  • Killazontherun||

    Go other yourself.

  • ||

    Derided IS pretty sexist and homophobic, yes.

  • Ken Shultz||

    They certainly don't help the libertarian cause any.

    Although, I think there's something about playing identity politics that tends to bring that out in people.

    Suggest that whatever race, gender, orientation, etc. should vote for one candidate over and over again, year after year, and the chances of people starting to go after whatever race, gender, orientation, etc. start to approach 1.

    I mean, there's no reason for libertarians to fall into the trap of making ourselves look like a homophobes or misogynists, but you can't engage in tactics that are sure to bring out the homophobia and misogyny in people and then feign surprise, either....

    Also, it should be said, libertarians--by a huge margin--supported gay marriage for eons before Barack Obama did. Barack Obama was indistinguishable from cultural conservatives on the gay rights issue as recently as, what, four months ago?

    You're right about misogyny and homophobia hurting our cause when expressed in comments, but it's not like we've been advocating using the government to actively discriminate against gay people on the issue of marriage--like Barack Obama did for more than three and a half years.

  • THIS SUX||

    TRIGGER WARNING!

  • ||

    I'll take mysogynist jokes over un-self-aware sexism, thanks.

    The thing is that the Democrats don't even realize when their being sexist. They think they are actually appealing to women when they treat us like robots programmed to think about teaching children and nursing, or as giggling screaming fangirls at Beatles show.

    The Democrats have never in my lifetime actually addressed female voters as adults with the same concern as men. It's always "Vote for us, because it's FOR THE CHILDREN!" or "Vote for our candidate, because HE'S SO DREAMY!"

    That's way, way, more sexist than a blond joke.

  • JW||

    Ken is H&R's conscience, whether we want it or not.

  • Ken Shultz||

    One of the comments up there was really nasty. I don't think it was a regular. I don't even know if it was by a libertarian

    It's always been about our appeal, our ability to reach non-libertarians.

    And in this case, if you bothered to read what I wrote...what I wrote wasn't about being anybody's conscience.

  • 0x90||

    They don't call it a "polling place" for nothing.

  • ||

    Fucking A, this retarded Obama fanboy I'm having an argument on facebook with says that the Due Process Clause doesn't apply to US citizens because it doesn't have the word "citizen" in it! The fucking stupidity and hypocrisy of these fucktards is enough to make one's head explode.

  • wingnutx||

    Call the cops, tell them that fanboy's house is a stash house.

    He'll quickly develop an appreciation for due process.

  • PapayaSF||

    Kiddie porn might get more attention.

    Or, better yet, tell them he made an anti-Mohammed video.

  • Gladstone||

    So the problem with Gitmo, rendition and Abu Gahrib was...?

  • ||

    No problem, as long as they are happening under Obama.

  • wingnutx||

    It will become a problem again on January 21, 2013.

  • Gladstone||

    So drones are going to be horrible racist baby killing war crimes now? Oh joy!

    You also forgot TEH KORPURASHUNS!

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Do I have to remind you what happens when you copulate with a pig in the mud?

  • Killazontherun||

    But the little piglet baby hybrids are so cute until they become full grown orcs.

  • John C. Randolph||

    So, he doesn't believe that a citizen is a person?

    -jcr

  • ||

    Since it doesn't have the word citizen, might I humbly suggest it's supposed to apply to EVERYONE?!

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    "If you give me a moment, I can explain. My candidacy is, um... Well, when I started out, I wanted to help people. But then I became desperate and selfish. And what I did was wrong. Barry's who I thought the whole world wanted me to be. He's who I thought I wanted to be. And sometimes when you want something so so bad, you'll do just about anything to get it. But I learned one thing from Barry. Life isn't about being happy with how much you kill people, but just being happy with yourself. I'm terribly sorry about all of this, I hope I haven't ruined everybody's life. Please excuse me. "

  • ||

    That's beautiful. It really sounds like the things Biden says. Did you think of that yourself or adapt it from something else?

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    I changed a few words from the ending of "The Nutty Professor".

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

  • ||

  • Voros McCracken||

    STEVE SMITH OFFENDED THAT SOMEONE WOULD MAKE RAPE JOKE IN COMMENT SECTIONS!

  • ||

    My first time will be with Gary Johnson. I'm glad I didn't turn 18 until a year after the 08 election since I likely would have voted for McCain. But with GayJay I've found someone I can trust and whom we've both come to accept that it's just a one time thing.

  • ||

    As soon as I saw this video, I couldn't wait for it to be put up at HnR. I figured the comment section would be a gold mine... and you all delivered.

  • tagtann||

    Sometimes you jsut have to roll with it dude.

    www.Surfin-Anon.tk

  • Franklin Harris||

    Look, sister, Obama is not going to call you in the morning. You dig?

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Your first time should be with a great guy. A guy who loves torture, I'm sorry, enhanced interrogation. A guy who loves murder (via hellfire missile). A guy who punishes people for breaking the same laws he broke. A guy who was against gay marriage before he needed that sweet, glitter-covered campaign cash. A guy who makes it harder for women to get hired (Lily Ledbetter). A guy spends money he doesn't have on his friends and cronies. A guy who refuses to disclose his past.

    Your first time should be with Barack, in the ass, good and hard.

    Obama 2012.

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