Sen. Orrin Hatch "doggone offended" by "radical libertarians," threatens to punch them (us) in the mouth.

Soft-rock sensation - the Peter Lemongello of the World's Greatest Deliberative Boby - Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) tells NPR that he hates small-government types with the white-hot intensity of a 1,000 suns:

"These people are not conservatives. They're not Republicans," Hatch angrily responds. "They're radical libertarians and I'm doggone offended by it."

Then Hatch, a former boxer, turns combative. "I despise these people, and I'm not the guy you come in and dump on without getting punched in the mouth."

What's got Hatch's knickers in a twist? A serious primary challenge steeped in Tea Party candidates:

Utah Republican Orrin Hatch has spent 36 years in the U.S. Senate, including stints as chairman of the Judiciary and Labor committees. He's in line to become chairman of the Finance Committee if Republicans gain control of the Senate in November.

But back home in Utah, Hatch's quest for a seventh term is not the cakewalk he had in the last five elections, in which he didn't even have to run in primaries.

In fact, the Hatch campaign has spent more than $5.7 million in the past 15 months just to make sure he'll survive the Utah Republican nominating convention on April 21.

"We've got to have new leaders in Washington if we're going to change the direction of this country," says Dan Liljenquist, a former Utah state senator and business consultant, considered the biggest threat to Hatch among nine GOP challengers.

In 2010, similar forces dispatched another long-time Beehive State glad-hander, Robert Bennett, which led to the horrors of electing Mike Lee, who along with Rand Paul, is leading the charge for lower spending in the Senate.

The Dick Armey-led group FreedomWorks has pumped $670,000 into attacks on Hatch and a bunch of other "outside money" has targeted Hatch. But before you shed a tear for "My God is Love" composer, note that he's outspending his rivals six to one.

For more go here.

This sounds like a good time for folks to check out The Declaration of Independents: How Libertarian Politics Can Fix What's Wrong with America, by Matt Welch and me. In our book - called "the up-to-date statement of libertarianism" by Tyler Cowen - we specifically discuss how change will come to electoral politics. A huge part of that is precisely what's playing out in Utah. Libertarians need to stop going along with a feckless GOP that takes limited-government partisans for granted; they need to start ransoming their votes for candidates such as Rand Paul and Mike Lee who will actually work to deliver lower spending and less government intervention into everything under the sun.

To the extent that Hatch - who supported Medicare Part D and TARP and various other bailouts, and never met a debt-ceiling increase he didn't like until last year - is now talking about cutting government by co-sponsoring a cut, cap, and balance law with Lee, it isn't because he's always been this way. It's because he's feeling the heat from those "radical libertarians" who are starting to tell pols to go small or go home.

Super-Bonus Video:

Here's Hatch talking at a town meeting in Utah, complaining that libertarians and Birchers make up about 20 percent to 25 percent of the Utah GOP, that they canned Bob Bennett last time around, and...that he's "got a lot of libertarian" in him. And that he's "always been friends with and friendly with the John Birch Society." Hmmm... (on both counts).

Check it out:

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  • Anacreon||

    What a coincidence -- he has a face I'd like to punch in the mouth as well.

  • fish||

    "I despise these people, and I'm not the guy you come in and dump on without getting punched in the mouth."

    Why? You let Ted Kennedy give you "Cleveland Steamers" routinely prior to his long overdue demise.

  • ||

    Somehow I always had Hatch pegged as a "Cincinnati Bow Tie" kind of guy.

  • ||

    I was thinking alligator fuckhouse

  • ||

    I was thinking alligator fuckhouse

    So I just Googled that, and . . . wow!

  • ||

    I'm afraid to.

  • ||

    I'm afraid to.

    Don't give in to your fear. It's actually not that bad.

  • ||

    Inorite? I'm-a have to try that some time.

  • ||

    Inorite? I'm-a have to try that some time.

    Thnking back, I now realize that's kinda-sorta what was done to me a couple weeks ago. I thought a 110lb. girl was going to snap my leg!

  • ||

    I thought a 110lb. girl was going to snap my leg!

    This is why I like big dudes. I'm pretty amazonian, and I feel like my ...errrr....technique would break a little/skinny dude in half!

  • ||

    This is why I like big dudes. I'm pretty amazonian, and I feel like my ...errrr....technique would break a little/skinny dude in half!

    Definitely not an instance where you want to be grossly disproportionate in size. I'm quite a bit more than 110lbs., but with the amount of torque she applied . . .

    At least I know she wasn't exactly bored ;-)

  • Old Bull Lee||

    Don't count us out. I've worn out women who were bigger and could lift more than me.

  • ||

    Don't count us out. I've worn out women who were bigger and could lift more than me.

    I've dated women taller than me, but they were all slender. I've never been with one that actually outweighed me. Not my cup of tea.

  • Bobarian||

    Paging John

  • ||

    BTW, I learned it from this scene.

  • ||

    BTW, I learned it from this scene.

    One of the favorite lowbrow comedies, a definite clasic :)

  • fish||

    Hatch pegged......

    I see what you did there.

  • ||

    I see what you did there.

    Would've been funnier in an article about Santorum.

  • fish||

    Trying to stay on topic.

  • gaoxiaen||

    If you could fight anyone, who would you fight?

    Now I have an answer to this question.

  • ||

    Oh god, please, please let this fucker go down in the primary. Talk about some delicious tears.

  • scareduck||

    A-men.

  • Drake||

    Him and Luger. Go home assholes.

  • ||

    I saw Lugar the other day. We had a big ribbon-cutting event for a new machine at work. He was shaking hands with us lowly workers that were told to gather around, and I politely walked away before he came near me. It would be nice to see him retired by the voters.

  • Pro Libertate||

    April 13, 2012

    104 Hart Office Building
    Washington, DC 20510

         Re: Libertarian Opposition

    Dear Orrin:

         Fuck you, you statist fuck.

    Sincerely,

    The Libertarians

  • o3||

    WHAT?

  • Pro Libertate||

    I'm sorry, you're right. I left out "The Honorable Orrin Hatch" in the address. Sorry for any confusion.

  • Soc Indv Sparky||

    Wait a minute, I think you just uncovered and Earth shattering revelation. O3 IS ORRIN HATCH!!!

  • NeonCat||

    You left out (Reputedly) before Honorable.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Miss Manners says that you should be all prim and proper before you say "Fuck you!!!!!" in the body of your letter. I don't want to sound gauche.

  • Bardas Phocas||

    I learned it from the Young Ones.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANquX0YHFhw

  • Mike Laursen||

    Forget manners. It's just proper setup.

  • gaijin||

    A brilliant idea you've hatched!

  • plu1959||

    I laughed and I laughed.

  • Franklin Harris||

    If these are "Tea Party candidates," their libertarianism is probably vastly overrated. According to the exit polls, Ron Paul has lost the "tea party" vote in virtually every state -- to the technocratic Gingrich, theocratic Santorum, and even Stepford candidate Romney.

  • Randian||

    Yes, but there is no such thing as bad publicity. If "libertarians" take down Hatch, so much the better.

  • John||

    In 2010, similar forces dispatched another long-time Beehive State glad-hander, Robert Bennett, which led to the horrors of electing Mike Lee, who along with Rand Paul, is leading the charge for lower spending in the Senate.

    Oh really? If you think the guy who is running against Hatch is some kind of Santorum clone, please tell us more. Otherwise you are just concern trolling.

  • Randian||

    It's a general observation about the Tea Party, John, not a comment on the particulars. You cannot deny that the Tea Party completely undermined its own principles by backing Rick Santorum, and categorically failing to back Ron Paul.

  • John||

    When did the "Tea Party" back Santorum? Santorum got the largest plurality of the Tea Party votes. I never saw where he ever got a majority. And yeah it is a large group full of people who have differing priorities. I don't think you can say anyone got all of their votes. And it is not like there were any good choices in the primary. Like voting for Gingrich was any better. You guys think Paul was a great choice. But Paul screwed himself by going peacenik. If Paul hadn't done that, he would be the nominee right now.

  • Randian||

    And yeah it is a large group full of people who have differing priorities.

    Except by its own terms, it wasn't supposed to be about "differing priorities" It was supposed to be about materially limiting and reducing the size and scope of government, and no one but Paul has seriously suggested anything approaching that.

    You basically just told me that the Tea Party prioritizes perpetual war over all else, which tells me that group is full of shit on its own standards.

  • John||

    Yeah Randian, because supporting Paul is the only alternative to "perpetual war". And I have a news flash for you. The world don't give a fuck that you want peace. You get peace when your enemies give it to you.

  • Randian||

    Like I said, you're just proving that the Tea Party is full of shit. Looking at the field of candidates, there was one candidate who took the Tea Party's alleged raison d'être seriously, and they basically told him to fuck off because he wanted to stop killing people all over the world.

  • Randian||

    And it is fine (sort of) if you think that was the "right" choice to make, but don't try to tell me that doesn't make the Tea Party hypocritical, because it completely does. It is pretty much conventional wisdom that Ron Paul provided the intellectual firepower for the Tea Party, and when they had the opportunity to elect its Founder, it balked in favor of a Culture Warrior because "NEEDZ MOAR WAR"

  • John||

    Sure Randian, everyone who doesn't just want to walk away from every conflict in the world and hope for the best is a war monger.

    This is why people don't take Libertarians and Ron Paul seriously. They won't have a serious conversation about these issues. Sorry, but unless and until Libertarians repudiate the self loathing Rothbard crap, they are never going to get anywhere.

  • Randian||

    Given that no one ever said anything about "walking away from every conflict", I also deem YOU full of shit. The fact is that Ron Paul talked about noninterventionism, and bloodlusty folks just like you started calling him a "peacenik". That's a naked lie and you know it's a lie.

    The Tea Party betrayed its own standards. Just deal with it already.

  • aelhues||

    Since when did the Tea Party have some kind of central mission statement? Sure, most of it was focused on the economy, but the people who considered themselves part of the TP, were a loose group, with varying concerns, which loosely aligned along the "stop dumping our money down the sewer", lines.

    So if the TP people vote for a variety of candidates, it's not exactly unexpected.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Sure Randian, everyone who doesn't just want to walk away from every conflict in the world and hope for the best is a war monger.

    How about this: We walk away from every conflict in the world that doesn't directly involve us.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Would Germany taking over big swaths of Europe and/or Japan doing the same in the Pacific "directly involve us?"

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Would Germany taking over big swaths of Europe and/or Japan doing the same in the Pacific "directly involve us?"

    After December 7th, 1941, it would.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    What about without a Pearl Harbor attack?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    What about without a Pearl Harbor attack?

    Until we were attacked, the war didn't directly involve us. So, with no attack there was very little reason for us to enter the war.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Fair enough. So, to be clear, if some other country plowed the rest of the world, including our allies, Canada, and Mexico, as long as it didn't touch any of our territory or possessions, we'd need to stay out of it?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    So, to be clear, if some other country plowed the rest of the world, including our allies, Canada, and Mexico, as long as it didn't touch any of our territory or possessions, we'd need to stay out of it?

    We don't need to, but we should.

  • Evil Otto||

    If the Nazis and Japanese militarists could have been trusted to not attack our shipping, and there had been no Pearl Harbor, then no, it wouldn't have involved us directly.

    Sort of like if bulls had teats they'd be cows.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    So would we have to wait for the militarists to attack our shipping? Or could we attack because we didn't trust them not to?

    If they controlled the rest of the world but left alone shipping between the US and its territories, there's no point at which intervention would have been justifiable?

    Sort of like if bulls had teats they'd be cows.

    I'm not talking about alternative history specifically tied to WWII. If China started a war this afternoon and started conquering the globe, as long as they left our stuff alone, we should just watch?

  • Zeb||

    "You get peace when your enemies give it to you."

    Or when you give it to them, depending on the circumstances. I hope you are not trying to claim that all US military action in recent times was necessary and only carried out because of what outside forces made it impossible not to. I'm not trying to say that we could unilaterally make peace happen, but the wars we've gotten involved in lately have been largely optional.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    the wars we've gotten involved in lately have been largely optional

    This. Hussein wasn't going anywhere outside of Iraq.

    Afghanistan is a quagmire that serves us no purpose to be in anymore, the Russians must be laughing their asses off.

    But wait, there's more! Here comes Iran, the Islamo-Fascists!

  • mad libertarian guy||

    John has seen the data and chooses to spin it every which way he can. I offered him a bet (that the TP would continue to support anything but smaller government) after the the second primary or so to which he never responded.

    In EVERY state, the MAJORITY of TPers supported a combo of Gingrich and Santorum over Ron Paul. It's shameful that a group of people which had the sole goal of being budget hawks fold in the moment of truth when they could have made a REAL difference.

  • Evil Otto||

    You get peace when your enemies give it to you.

    This is the grown up version of "No, he started it!"

    I don't care who started it, we have to end it. And tbh the US hasn't given peace to the Middle East for a long time.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    It was supposed to be about materially limiting and reducing the size and scope of government...

    I'm not here to defend the Tea Party, but my understanding is that it is about limiting the size of the government from a fiscal standpoint without taking positions on social issues. Paul would still be the better option there, but it's conceivable that some could see Santorum as better than Romney, I guess.

  • Randian||

    Rick Santorum isn't a fiscal conservative either, and the allegedly more-educated Tea Partiers damn well knew it.

    They pulled the lever for him anyway. And now they are going to pull it for Romney, even further betraying their own standards.

    Fuck the Tea Party.

  • ||

    They pulled the lever for him anyway. And now they are going to pull it for Romney, even further betraying their own standards.

    The Tea Party is to the Republicans what Lincoln is to Ford: slightly snazzier exterior, same old stuff underneath.

  • robc||

    Im going to go True Scotsman on your ass.

    No tea partiers voted for Santorum.

  • jacob||

    @Randian

    Fuck the Tea Party.

    I know I'm late to the party, but this libertarian STRONGLY agrees with you.

    BTW I got into the identical argument with John a while back over literally the SAME thing. My point was that the Tea Party is not to be trusted as they dispatched not 2, but 3 candidates to unseat Ron Paul from his congressional seat.

    http://www.dallasnews.com/news.....s-9282.ece

  • Zeb||

    Yeah, if he thinks tea party folk are "radical libertarians", he needs to meet some radical libertarians.

  • creech||

    Didn't Hatch speak at a Libertarian Party convention once?

  • T||

    Epi seems like a good choice. Hey, Epi, want to go to Utah and meet a Senator?

  • Brandon||

    They'd never let him through the border checkpoints.

  • Evil Otto||

    You realize that those totals are people who self-identify as "tea party members", right? Not necessarily the people who actually went to the Tea Party protests.

  • ||

    So much for Anything Peaceful!

  • ||

    Timmy C FTW!

  • o3||

    why's he confusing libertarians, who have a party & a philosophical foundation, with teapartiers whose foundation is a rick santelli rant on CNBC?

  • Soc Indv Sparky||

    Careful o3, your prose is approaching readable.

  • ||

    He discovered punctuation and the shift key. Like how our ancient ancestors discovered fire. The law of beneficial coincidences is in full effect.

  • Josh Stegmaier||

    "These people are not conservatives. They're not Republicans. They're radical libertarians..."

    This guy just can't stop it with the compliments!

  • The Unknown Pundit||

    "These people are not conservatives. They're not Republicans. They're radical libertarians..."

    I'll give Sen. Hatch thirty to forty minutes to quit talking like that. lol

  • ||

    "These people are not conservatives. They're not Republicans," Hatch angrily responds. "They're radical libertarians and I'm doggone offended by it."

    Good. Fuck you. COME AT ME BRO

  • Hell's Librarian||

    It does beg the question of what a "non-radical libertarian" looks like to him.

  • Randian||

    Gary Johnson?

  • Mensan||

    "It does beg the question ..."

    No, it does not.

  • Randian||

    THANK YOU

  • Brandon||

    Pedantry FTL!

  • Zeb||

    So, how to self defense laws apply when you have been punched in the nose by a US senator? If I could beat the crap out of him afterwards with a tire iron, I'd let Hatch get one in.

  • T||

    I'm thinking I can take a 78 year old guy without a tire iron. If I can't I need to just give it up.

  • Soc Indv Sparky||

    The point is not that you need to use a tire iron, it's that he needs to receive a tire iron.

  • T||

    Fair enough. Although, if I'm my garage and the need comes up, I'm using this.

  • T||

    Uh, 'in' as appropriate.

  • ||

    I'm using this.

    I'm not a tool guy, but that thing is fucking awesome. Even the name is awesome. Still, in a physical confrnatation with Hatch, you let him get his shot in, then just give him a gentle shove backward. The ground will do the rest.

  • ||

    There's a reason that this tool was a recipient of the Popular Science "Best of What's New" Award. As their reviewer put it, "The Fubar's square head and tapered edge tore huge holes in the walls, and the toothed jaws wrenched studs so forcefully I swear I heard the wood cry out in pain."

    That is hilarious.

  • ||

    Ol' graham cracker hips doesn't have a chance!

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

  • Zeb||

    Nice. I might have to get me a FuBar III for when I tear down half of my house this summer.

  • John C. Randolph||

    Personally, I would prefer the traditional tar and feathers for politicians like Hatch. Good to respect the office and all that, no?

    -jcr

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Then Hatch, a former boxer, turns combative. "I despise these people, and I'm not the guy you come in and dump on without getting punched in the mouth."

    If Senator Hatch feels his honor has been besmirched, I will gladly defend libertarianism against his aged fists under the Pancrase rules.

    I think a heel hook would do Senator Hatch a world of good.

  • ||

    The Pancreas Rules? Is that where you punch SF in the guy and force candy down his throat?

  • ||

    I believe I mean "gut", but the premise still stands.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    I don't know what brand of the DIABEETUS Sugarfree owns. Feeding him candy might be like giving spinach to Popeye the Sailor.

  • Brett L||

    Remember. If you get to the right of a republican on financial issues, you're a radical libertarian. If you get to the left of a democrat on social issues, you're a reactionary libertarian.

  • John||

    And if you are both, you are just a nihilist who wants to turn the country into Somalia.

  • Brett L||

    Say what you will about statism, at least its a fucking ethos.

  • ||

    That rug really tied the room together.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Do you see what happens when you fuck an incumbent in the ass? Do you see what happens?

  • ||

    Shut the fuck up, Donny FoE.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    You might fool the fucks in the Reason office, but you don't fool Fist of Etiquette. This bush league psyche-out stuff.

  • ||

    Fuck it, dude, let's go bowling.

  • Randian||

    Overrated movie or most overrated movie? You be the judge.

  • ||

    Color me surprised that someone who watches Downton Abbey doesn't appreciate Cohen Brothers movies. WHAT A SHOCKER

  • Randian||

    I did say "overrated", not "bad".

    I actually do appreciate Cohen brothers movies.

    Just not that one.

  • ||

    Test: what's the best Cohen Brothers movie?

  • Randian||

    Ladykillers. Duh.

  • ||

    You joke, I wanted a serious answer. Try again.

  • ||

    The Big Lebowski, with Raising Arizona a close second. I liked the music in O Brother, but was unimpressed otherwise.

  • Brandon||

    What? Every second John Goodman was on the screen in that movie was gold!

  • Randian||

    The Hudsucker Proxy

  • ||

    The fact that no one has said the correct answer--Miller's Crossing--disturbs me greatly.

  • Randian||

    Is it because you cry like John Turturro when you consider your life?

  • ||

    Time magazine agrees with you, Epi.

  • Randian||

    Time magazine agrees with you, Epi.

    Damn that has to sting.

  • ||

    Fuck, that does sting. Still, a broken clock is still right twice a day.

  • Proprietist||

    Who are the Cohen brothers? Did Leonard Cohen have a brother?

  • Pro Libertate||

    It's Coen, and it's Raising Arizona. By far.

  • robc||

    It's Coen, and it's Raising Arizona. By far.

    Raising Arizona was also the last good Nick Cage movie.

  • ||

    Raising Arizona was also the last good Nick Cage movie.

    Kick Ass (2010) was phenomenal, though it probably can't rightly be called a Nicholas Cage movie since his role was largely a supporting one.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Why is everyone giving Miller's Crossing the high hat?

  • ||

    Why is everyone giving Miller's Crossing the high hat?

    This may be heresy, but I've never seen it. I'm more a fan of the Coens' comedic efforts.

    Fargo was pretty good, though.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    There's plenty of humor in Crossing.

  • gaoxiaen||

    Fargo.

  • ||

    agree

  • robc||

    Kick Ass (2010) was phenomenal, though it probably can't rightly be called a Nicholas Cage movie since his role was largely a supporting one.

    Good point. Ive been saying that about Raising Arizona for so long that I forgot to update.

  • Proprietist||

    I dunno, "No Country For Old Man" is one of my three favorite films since the turn of the century.

  • ||

    Funny story. I received a, uh, "copy" of that movie. It was split into two tracks, which the DVD player somehow played out of order. So I started watching the movie halfway through, in the scene where Llewelyn Moss is running from Anton Chigurh in the little town, and both get injured shooting at each other. Seemed a bit confusing, but a very exciting action sequence to start the movie.

    However, when it ended only an hour later, I was like, damn, no wonder people complained about the ending being abrupt. Then, of course, it started playing the real beginning of the movie. Still, it was actually really interesting to watch it out of order like that.

  • Bill Dalasio||

    Bah, you're all wrong. It was Barton Fink.

  • ||

    Color me surprised that someone who watches Downton Abbey doesn't appreciate Cohen Brothers movies. WHAT A SHOCKER

    Lends more credence to Randian == Brit.

  • Randian||

    Please - if I were British, I would 110 pounds, because I would never eat their fucking terrible food.

  • ||

    Definitely not British, otherwise you would've given your weight in stone.

  • ||

    Please - if I were British, I would 110 pounds

    You'd what?

    Shilling for the pound huh? The Euro is terrible currency.

    You're right about the food though. Everything is boiled.

  • Randian||

    *be*, dammit, I would *be* 110 pounds. The best food in England I had was at Pizza Express.

    One more fun fact: the pints of excellent British Ale are about 3.50 pounds. A Bud Light bottle is 4.50. And I saw Brits buying the latter all over pubs in England. They can't even appreciate what they have.

  • anon||

    That's better than me. Only thing I could eat over there was the damned sandwiches from the little grocery marts.

  • ||

    Only thing I could eat over there was the damned sandwiches from the little grocery marts.

    Don't forget the curry joints. And Ghandi's revenge.

  • ||

    Shilling for the pound huh?

    I see what you did there.

  • ||

    Just my 2 pence.

  • Zeb||

    They have good cheese and beer and breakfast in Britain. What else do you need?

  • Y||

    The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude.

  • Smarmy||

    Obviously you're not a golfer.

  • plu1959||

    You want a fucking ethos? Ron Jeremy. Now, that guy has a fucking ethos.

  • Sam Grove||

    And if you are both, you are just a nihilist who wants to turn the country into Somalia.

    Sounds just like a certain leftist I used to argue with.

  • Soc Indv Sparky||

    Hey Nick, what is a Deliberative Boby? I don't think you meant the town in Poland did you?

  • Soc Indv Sparky||

    Also:

    Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) tells NPR that is he hates small-government types

    Come on man, you're a professional writer.

  • Soc Indv Sparky||

    Well, one out of two ain't bad.

  • ||

    Utah Republican Orrin Hatch has spent 36 years in the U.S. Senate[...]

    "I believe that we can help save this country, especially if Mitt Romney gets there and I'm chairman of the Finance Committee and we have other Republican chairmen in both the Senate and the House," Hatch asserts. "I believe we can turn this country around."

    What the fuck has he been doing all this time? This country has gotten into a state of needing to be "turned around" on his watch. And I love how he says, "If only I had more power, then things would finally get better." What a disgusting puke. He is on my list of worst five Senators, btw, along with the loathsome Charles Schumer.

  • John||

    That is a good question. I mean it is not like the Republicans didn't own all three branches of government for six years in the 00s or anything.

    He is definitely in the top ten. But the competition is pretty steep. We are talking about a body that includes, Boxer, Feinstein, Lindsey Graham, Schumer, Ben Nelson, and Frank Lautenburg.

  • ||

    Don't forget Waxman!

  • Soc Indv Sparky||

    Moleman has no real powers, he just threatens everyone with his sewer stench.

  • ||

    He has powers. The power to destroy aesthetics. His nostrils can absorb galaxies.

  • plu1959||

    Food-on-screen guffaw.

  • Harvard||

    Forget not John McCain. A statist shitbird of the highest order (my friends). Will turn to the right only in the face of a challenge to his perpetuity.

  • John||

    the Moleman is in the House.

  • ||

    We need either term limits, or upper age limits on these bastards. No one as insulated, effectively tenured, and old as Hatch can possibly have a clue what is going on in modern society, or know what's best for the country.

  • Pro Libertate||

    We need the Censor, who removes the corrupt, the unconstitutional, the mentally incompetent, and the unethical at will.

  • ||

    A fourth branch of government, of course!

    Executive
    Judicial
    Legislative
    Arbitrational

    No power other than the ability to end the term of any other member of any other branch.

  • Soc Indv Sparky||

    You mean...to Terminate them?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Terminate. . .with extreme prejudice.

  • ||

    Terminal branch sounds kind of weird though. People might get it confused with the forthcoming death panels.

  • anon||

    Don't the citizens already have this power?

  • ||

    Don't the citizens already have this power?

    Your naïveté is adorable.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I have a new idea for funding the Censor, which I think should be an anti-government, not part of the government. The federal government has to give 10% of the money it raises to the Censor. So if it increases taxes, it increases the amount of money the Censor has to come take politicians down.

  • Randian||

    Shouldn't the Censor be funded by a bounty system, where he gets X% of the salary saved of each position terminated?

  • ||

    Incidentally, TAO, that is exactly how law enforcement worked in the days of The Founders.

  • Randian||

    The Dominion had a bounty system?

  • ||

    Yep, redcoats needed help with law enforcement, and colonies didn't have a discrete, professional police force. Much like the lack of a discrete, professional army.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Also acceptable.

  • Marshall Gill||

    We need a BuSab. The Bureau of Sabotage will have only one purpose, to slow the growth of government.

  • Pro Libertate||

    The Censor can cover this function.

  • Zeb||

    We need a BuSab.

    Nice. Someone else reads non-Dune Frank Herbert.

  • Ska||

    Hopefully with a heavy blunt instrument.

  • anon||

    Does a .44 magnum count as heavy & blunt?

  • gaoxiaen||

    Only if you use hollow points.

  • Invisible Finger||

    Upper age limits?? No fucking way.

    We need age limits on the lower end. Nobody under the age of 98 should be allowed in public office. They just don't have enough life experience to understand the issues.

    Maybe if we didn't infanitilize the last 3 generations we could have had a more reasonable lower bound, but most 60-year-olds I know are no more mature than 14-yearolds.

  • Mensan||

    We could eliminate the need for term limits by just setting upper and lower age limits. You must be older than 35-years, and younger than 45-years. Oh, and a JD disqualifies you (sorry, ProL).

  • Pro Libertate||

    Don't bother me none, as I don't want to be in politics.

  • Mensan||

    I was apologizing for the inference that all lawyers are evil and unworthy of public trust. I realize that's not the case for all lawyers, but unfortunately, as evidenced by the current federal and state legislatures, too many are idiots and/or easily corruptible.

  • ||

    I could support this idea. JD's have been the slow death of this country.

  • Pro Libertate||

    No doctors of any kind might be a good rule of thumb. No JDs, no MDs, no PhDs. We simply can't be trusted.

  • ||

    There is a more than a grain of truth in that statement, Pro'L Dib. The professions do tend to attract megalomaniacal types.

  • Lord Humungus||

    you must have met my brother.

  • plu1959||

  • Pro Libertate||

    Probably hoping to join Zimmerman's team. He's venal, political, and other stuff I don't care for.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    He's venal, political, and other stuff I don't care for.

    And just what would be the "other stuff" you don't care for you Röhmite bastard?

    UNDERZOG, muthafuggaz!!!!!

  • Pro Libertate||

    I normally don't consider American Jews rooting for Israel to be a problem, but when one goes so far to throw out all of his "liberal" credentials to say torture is okay because of his ethnic/religious bias, well, he may be going a bit far.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    I didn't realize the Dersh even cared about his liberal credentials anymore. Though, what you said applies to most Jewish American Neo-Cons.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    The reactions on HuffPo have been predictable

  • 0x90||

    Swap the older than/younger than numbers and I'm with you.

  • Brandon||

    I say we make an exception for Ken at Popehat. And kill Warty, just to be safe.

  • Harvard||

    Careful, Ron Paul has been there 15 years and counting now.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    What? No Wasserman-Schultz?

  • KDN||

    We are talking about a body that includes, Boxer, Feinstein, Lindsey Graham, Schumer, Ben Nelson, and Frank Lautenburg.

    How do people constantly forget Bob Menendez? NJ has two horrible Senators, dammit, and Menendez is actually the bigger crook of the two.

  • T||

    Which is why I always laugh at people like Bob Dole and John McCain when they run for President. "I can help fix these problems!" Bitch, please. You've been in office for 30+ years, you are part of the problem. Step aside.

  • Brett L||

    Also, this book you mention, what's it about?

    (Kidding! Actually I handed my first copy off to my roommate [who keeps telling me about the cool stuff in there -- I know, bro] and will pass off the second one to my pops the next time I see him.)

  • John||

    Hey Orin,

    Have you ever asked yourself "why do they hate me so much"?

  • ||

    If all I've ever accomplished with all of my libertarian muckracking is to offend Orrin Hatch, I'd still be happy.

  • Tonio||

    Basically he's trying to smear intramural opposition as [godless, heartless] libertarians. "Tea Party" probably resonates well with his contituents, "Libertarian" not so much. Utah, baby. This isn't about truth, but about him staying in power by whatever means necessary.

  • ||

    I don't think Utah has the market cornered on that type of behavior.

  • Brandon||

    It tries, dammit.

  • T||

    Semi-OT: I have a friend who is borderline communist (art professor at a small liberal arts university in AL). I almost gave him a set of Orrin Hatch cds one year for his birthday, but the wife evtoed it.

  • plu1959||

    evtoed

    Is that anything like a camel toe?

  • Tonio||

    I think it's short for e[lectronic]-veto. His missus emailed or txted him...

  • plu1959||

    no vjj 4u 2nite

  • ||

    I'm pretty sure Tonio will lose sleep none over no vjj.

  • Tonio||

    Please don't thrown me in that briar patch, br'er plu1959.

    (Good one, GM)

  • Anacreon||

    Did you notice that songs by women used to be about boys, and now they are all about their VJJ?

  • JEP||

    would that small liberal college be Birmingham-Southern?

  • widget||

    ...Hatch, a former boxer...

    Him and Harry Reid. If these guys loved their country that'd help pay down the national debt by going on an exhibition boxing tour.

  • Mensan||

    If ever hold political office, I'm going to insist they describe me as [My real name], former high school wrestler, ...

  • T||

    I'm hoping for 'reported pants wearer'.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    Repeat after me.

    I, state your name...

  • ||

    I thought you were going to say, "relapsing masturbationist."

  • Mensan||

    Prolific masturbationist.

  • plu1959||

    Like that Kevin Phillips guy. Since he's a lefty who was a Republican, oh, 30 years ago, whenever he comes on NPR to advance the narrative they introduce him as "Kevin Phillips, former Republican strategist."

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    Kind of like Dick Morris?

  • T||

    Who should be listed as 'reputed toe fetishist'

  • Soc Indv Sparky||

    I'll bet than when Morris switched parties he was thrilled that he still got to hate Ron Paul.

  • John||

    It is amazing how entitled and addicted to power these people are. Hatch is no doubt a millionaire. And he has a fat Senate pension awaiting him. Any normal person would have quit and be out counting their millions by now. And you would certainly walk away if staying meant getting in some kind of mud wrestling primary match with people from your own party.

    But not these guys. The idea of not being a Senator and having enormous power is just unthinkable to them. You really have to have a degraded soul to be like that.

  • ||

    It's sickening. Seriously, he's fucking 78, but he'd rather sleaze around with his Senate buddies than retire to a log cabin in the beautiful Utah countryside.

  • John||

    Spector was 80 and a cancer survivor and hated by both parties. And he still wouldn't give up. It is just pathetic.

  • Randian||

    It's definitely an illness of some kind.

  • Restoras||

    Is it any wonder all those jackoffs end up looking like Emperor Palpatine? They just hang on, become more twisted and corrupted by the power they love so dearly.

  • ||

    They never had their portraits painted à la Dorian Gray.

  • anon||

    While the book was good, that movie was the biggest waste of my life.

  • anon||

    It's not even about the money. It's about the power.

    These guys would do this shit for free (albeit with far more bribing than currently happens) just to be "recognized."

    Epitome of narcissism.

  • Enjoy Every Sandwich||

    That's what I was thinking. Hatch, like most of these assholes, plainly regards the Senate seat as his personal property.

    If he has a son (I'm too lazy to look up if he does) he no doubt expects to pass the seat on to him.

  • Brandon||

    He's pro-war, John. Why are you criticizing him?

  • ||

    On the positive side, this is the state that elected Mike Lee, so maybe Hatch's kind is on the way out there. Of course, re-electing him five times is pretty upsetting, but hey, 2006 and 2010 were quite different years.

  • Mensan||

    Is there anybody named Orrin who isn't a megadouche?

  • ||

    None that immediately come to mind.

  • Zeb||

    I know one 4 year old, but his name is spelled differently.

  • gaoxiaen||

    I went to high school with Orrey Rape.

  • Gadianton||

    Orrin Sackett

  • Evil Otto||

    Oren Samuelson

  • Anacreon||

    Pork bellies are up one-and-a quarter, July wheat down five-eighths! I miss Orion Samuelson.

  • Invisible Finger||

    World's Greatest Deliberative Boby

    There's a typo there, but I'm not sure if it's supposed to be Body or Booby.

  • plu1959||

    I'd tune in to C-SPAN to see the World's Greatest Deliberative Booby.

  • Proprietist||

    You guys should stop bullying Orrin. Seriously, it's not his fault he's bugeyed and autistic. He needs love like everybody else in the world.

  • Proprietist||

    How did that end up here? Stupid squirrels...

  • Mensan||

    That's an insult to anybody with autism, and to all the kids who have been misdiagnosed with autism. And to bugs.

  • Invisible Finger||

    Orrin Hatch - Entitled asshole hates people who hate entitled assholes.

  • sarcasmic||

    Keep pimpin' that book and I just might go out and buy it.

    Pimp it! Pimp it good!

  • anon||

    It's actually worth reading. Has some fun stories in it.

  • plu1959||

    Like about the time they all made Althouse cry because libertarians don't care?

  • T||

    That story still cracks me up.

  • GILMORE||

    Oh, oh oh!!

    Is there version of story on teh intertubez?? Pleeeese?

  • Ken Shultz||

    Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) tells NPR that he hates small-government types with the white-hot intensity of a 1,000 suns.

    I'm pretty sure that was a typo. Orrin Hatch isn't representing Utah.

    I know he used to represent Disney, but that was a little while ago.

    Still, maybe it should read "Orrin Hatch (R-Disney)".

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Douches)

  • ||

    He's the Douchess of Utah.

  • John C. Randolph||

    I think that should be "Douchest of Utah."

    -jcr

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    And that he's "always been friends with and friendly with the John Birch Society."

    This I believe.

  • ChrisO||

    In his first campaign, Orrin Hatch criticized his predecessor for spending 18 years in the Senate. Really.

  • ||

    Nobody ever physically threatens me in person. I haz a sad :(

  • ||

    Word has it around here that you're frighteningly emaciated. Perhaps your would-be aggressors are taking pity?

  • ||

    try my job

    of course 99% of the time i get physically threatened, it's AFTER they are in handcuffs

    e.g.
    "if i didn't have these handcuffs on, i'd kick your ass"

    shockingly, BEFORE they had the handcuffs on these are the same ones that docilely submit to arrest.

  • Evil Otto||

    Do you tase them anyway?

  • Pip||

    Maybe it's because you have a gun, pig-shit, and they know that until the cuffs are on, there's a good chance you'll pop a boner and shoot them. Once cuffed, they know you have less of a defense if you shoot them, so why not tell a piece of shit pig what they really think.

    BTW, I fucked your wife, Morgan Fairchild, recently. She was truly grateful.

  • ||

    Also...

    I'm not the guy you come in and dump on without getting punched in the mouth.

    Phrasing!

  • ||

    Orrin has principles. He makes you take him out to dinner before he takes your cock and swallow his cum.

  • ||

    swallow your cum. .... though he will do a pile-driver and swallow his own cum for and extra c note.

  • 0x90||

    Orrin wants to disassociate with you. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    But...but Jimmy DeMint is soooooo dreamy, right Reason?

  • Pip||

    derp not derp

  • ||

    city of seattle, seattle city attorney continues to deny the people the right to access information, specifically cop dashcam videos

    this oppression will not stand, man

    here's something i can probably agree with you sloopy!!!

    this ruling was wrong, wrong, wrong

    i hope KOMO wins this ruling. allowing the press (and others) access to dashcam tapes is ESSENTIAL in a free, open society.

    this gentleman says it all: If the police can use these videos to hold citizens accountable, then citizens should be able to use the same videos to hold police accountable," said Toby Nixon with the Washington Coalition for Open Government.

    exactly, sir!

    http://www.komonews.com/news/p.....51775.html

  • ||

    Any Libertarian who is unwilling to go punch for punch with the likes of Mr. Hatch is unworthy of the name. Such violent rhetoric is unbecoming of a U.S. Senator.

  • ||

    Such violent rhetoric is unbecoming of a U.S. Senator.

    But not wholly unexpected. After all, their every whim, codified in legislation, is enforced at the point of a gun.

  • GILMORE||

    "These people are not conservatives. They're not Republicans,...They're radical libertarians and I'm doggone offended by it...I despise these people, and I'm not the guy you come in and dump on without getting punched in the mouth."

    Strange, I don't recall mssr Hatch mentioned particularly often here.... well, except for his demand for Porn Prosecutuions...drug testing welfare recipients...demanding that the courts and justice department investigate the college Bowl Championchip Series for anti-trust because Utah didn't get a shot at National Championship title.... and other examples of dignified, GOP statemanship.

    When, "conservative" has come to indicate, 'increased, big government meddling in people's private lives as well as the free-market'... I think its fair that being accused of "not being conservative" is not really the insult he intends.

    I have yet to really understand what precisely it is he despises other than some people think we'd be better off without him 'guarding the public interest'

  • GILMORE||

    Such violent rhetoric is unbecoming of a U.S. Senator.

    (swallows gum)
    What?@!

    I'm sorry, are you from the freaking 18th-early 19th century or something, because the conduct of Senators for at least the last 100 years has been pretty goddamn disgraceful. I've heard mothers of prostitutes talking to friends, sighing, "Well, at least she didn't run for congress".

  • Fatty Bolger||

    So the heart of libertarianism is... Utah?

  • Monty||

    Don't know about the heart but we did dump Bennett by the roadside. Hatch spent a lot of time and money to make sure he won't suffer the same treatment. I hope he gets dumped by the roadside in the desert.

  • West Texas||

    Hatch
    McCain
    Lugar
    Graham

    Who else is in the club?

    (And ignore RINO's like Scott Brown, I mean establishment tools who need to get voted out by red state voters who should know better)

  • Pip||

    Harry Reid. BTW, Fuck you, squirrels.

    http://www.westernjournalism.c.....e_bird.jpg

  • Brian from Texas||

    Another big-government liberal Republican whose days are numbered. Sweet!!!

  • ||

    "he hates small-government types with the white-hot intensity of a 1,000 suns"

    Ha, this cocksucker is head over heels in love with me relative to how I feel about him.

  • John C. Randolph||

    If Senator Hatch would like to punch me in the mouth, I invite him to try. I might even let him land one, just so that nobody can claim that I was not provoked when I kicked his TARP-voting ass.

    -jcr

  • John C. Randolph||

    So, anyone have a link to a campaign website for whoever's running against that asshole? I'd love to see him get the Bennett treatment, and if we get another Rand Paul or Justin Amash out of the deal, that's a bonus.

    -jcr

  • Bilwick||

    I'm doggone offended by statists: people who believe that my life and property belong to them and are willing to use the power of the State to coerce me into doing things I don't want to do. I'd like to punch them, too. And unlike Orrin Hatch's desire to punch me, my punches would be justified--because statists are the ones who initiate force.

  • Captain Freedom||

    Oh thank God, someone said it. Libertarians are NOT conservatives. I'll happily take a verbal attack from a conservative so no doubt is left about the "libertarianism is conservatism" myth propagated by idiots like Bob Barr and Wayne Allyn Root.

  • Bilwick||

    So your sobriquet should be "Captain Not-All-That-Much Freedom"? Or "Captain Only-As-Much-Freedom-As-I-Deem-Fit"? Just wondering.

    I stop worrying whether libertarianism was "conservative" along time ago. My "road to Damascus" moment was when I attended a conservative think-tank's conference in the early 1970s, and five out of six of the bigwig conservatives on the discussion panel defended Nixon's wage-and-price controls; and would respond to objections from libertarians in the audience with the usual highflown but devoid-of-substance Burkean rhetoric. In fact, the most famous conservative on the panel said, "The State had the right to do anything it wants." (Essentially the same position Mussolini took.) I decided that if I needed a label, I'd rather bear the label of a group with more logical consistency in their arguments.

  • Sevo||

    Poor, poor Orin! Being 'dumped on' by those who just wish he'd leave them alone!
    How horrible!

  • GreatLandGal||

    So, Orrin the Terrible, loathes TEA Partiers and Libertarians: not so surprisingly....the feeling is mutual...
    I will take the time to pray that you do NOT make it past the Primaries Bucko....for you are easily one of the many reasons America is in the toilet right now.

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