Halftime in America: Remy Chrysler Ad Parody

It's halftime.

Both teams are listening to a Madonna performance that sounds eerily similar to a Lady Gaga song they'll hear 10 years from now.

It's halftime in America too.

People are out of work and they're hurting.

And they're wondering where all their money went.

Well, $12.5 billion of it went to Chrysler.

In the form of a bailout.

But it's okay, because Chrysler is all-American.

Though technically 58.5 percent of Chrysler is owned by an Italian corporation.

And Chrysler manufactures many of it's vehicles in Canada. And Mexico.

But I guess that doesn't make for a great commercial.

Unlike polar bears. Or dogs. Or that digestive yogurt.

Yeah, Americans are hurting.

And their dollars are being used to bail out the chosen ones.

Instead of themselves.

What happened to freedom?

What happened to choice?

Yeah.

We need to guard them like Ben Roethlisberger's friends guard a bathroom door.

Allegedly.

Written by Remy and produced by Meredith Bragg.

About 1.30 minutes.

"Halftime in America" is one of a series of collaborations between Remy and Reason.tv. To watch all of them, including "Grandma Got Indefinitely Detained (A Very TSA Christmas)," "The Occupy Wall Street Protest Song," "Raise the Debt Ceiling Rap," and "Why They Fought," go here now.

To watch Remy's other videos, go to youtube.com/goremy


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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    We need to guard them like Ben Roethlisberger's friends guard a bathroom door.

    He didn't have a friend guard any bathroom door. That's patently false. It was an off-duty state policeman he hired. Roethlisberger doesn't have any friends.

  • Some Guy||

    When did Willie Colon become a state trooper?

  • ||

    so Ben Roethlisberger is bi? I didn't know that.

  • Wesley||

    Great payoff at the end. Very funny.

  • Pink Cosmotarian||

    Bail out the "chosen ones"?!

    "Raaaaacist!!"

  • Fer Cryin' Out Loud, People!||

    manufactures many of ITS vehicles

    ITS!

  • Mustakrakish||

    Monty Python's Flying Circus?

  • The Pointer-Outer||

    Chrysler manufactures vehicles for the United States government, whose leader refers to the company as "my bitch".

  • d||

    What, exactly, is your beef with the use of this pronoun? Are you English, by chance, and therefore say ridiculous things like "Chrysler manufactures many of *their* vehicules..." or "The group *are* coming to London for..."?

    Or is this some other -- poorly conveyed -- subtle point?

  • rgb||

    fer cryin' out loud, i believe, is distressed about the grammatical error in the transcript...
    it's = it is...
    its = possessive pronoun

  • Jahn Ghalt||

    Very kind of you to participate in the Reason Literacy Project!

    (you too, "d", after all what's a teacher without a student?)

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Of course, now this has to happen:

    "I been pumping pussy since Christ was a corporal. I can tell you, the best damned poontang I ever paid for was in Da Nang. The girls were checked out daily. And we got ourselves laid in a safe, orderly, proficient, military manner. That is until some suckhead writes home to mama and says he dipped his wick in the Republic of South Vietnam. Then the shit hits the fan. A committee of congressmen who, asshole to asshole, who couldn't make a beer fart in a whirlwind, starts telling your basic, ass-in-the-grass Marine, "No more short time." We responded in true Marine Corps fashion. We salute, do an about face, double time back to the boom-boom garbage dump where we proceed to get the clap, and the drip, and the crabs and a generally poor attitude towards the female of the species. War is hell, boy. That's a fact."

  • ||

    I assume I'm supposed to read this in R. Lee Ermey's voice, correct?

  • ||

    No, in Clint's voice. Heartbreak Ridge. Dumbass.

  • ||

    Was that the movie about Clint Eastwood?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    "You boys are handsome. You ladies look like models. In fact, I want your hair high and tight by tomorrow morning. When you start looking like Marines, you'll start feeling like Marines and then, Goddamn it, you'll start acting like Marines."

  • shrike||

    Hmmm, no mention of the $900 billion the Bushpigs stuffed up their collective asshole in the Iraq debacle?

  • ||

    Fuck off, sockpuppet.

  • Jumbie||

    You know, I sometimes think you get treated unfairly here but this comment makes me think you ask to just get hit with a team blue hammer.

    The as was about Chrysler. The parody was about Chrysler.

  • shrike||

    I want perspective. Chrysler probably has about 200,000 employees in the US which is about the same as the Iraq deployment at any given time.

    $12 billion for Chrysler is about the same that got "lost" on a pallet in Iraq - or about 1.5% of the total cost of that clusterfuck.

  • Hugh Akston||

    So the answer is pretty simple: don't bail out losers, whether they be losing korporations at home or losing wars abroad.

  • shrike||

    I protect my own.

  • MisterPundit||

    So do we.

  • Sevo||

    shrike|2.7.12 @ 9:14PM|#
    "I want perspective."

    Bullshit, shriek. You want propaganda.

  • Jumbie||

    You want perspective?

    Is that why your first complaint was about how the original ad neglected to mention any context? Like maybe what part the union liabilities played in the fall of Detroit?

  • o3||

    designing shitty cars is a mgmt function. jeesch

  • ||

    Chrysler has nothing in the range of 200k employees. It's something closer to 1/4 of that.

    And it's awesome how you fail to understand that even if the company went belly up, it's assets would still have been purchased and it is unlikely that all of those people would have been out of a job.

  • Some Guy||

    As soon as someone makes a Super Bowl commercial about Iraq, I'll be excited to see Remy spoof it.

  • ||

    Wow shrike, maybe we here at Reason need to rethink our support of the Iraq War.

  • Sevo||

    Ya know, now that shriek brought it up, maybe I will have to, oh, lend less support than I have.
    Except it's hard to get less than none.

  • Jumbie||

    Yeah it's sad that reason NEVER complains about the Iraq war's fiscal cost.

  • Xenocles||

    Marginally shorter shriek: This narrowly focused parody didn't include some issue, so you guys are hypocrites!

  • shrike||

    Thinking is hard! Thank the Great Christfag in the Sky you don't need to do a lot of it to make a lot of money. Bums in the street are good at thinking, ever watch them play chess in the park? Reason commenters are good at it too. But they can't even afford a blowjob coming from a decent looking face. Stop thinking, you assholes, and start doing.

  • ||

    Anyone can push a chess piece around a checkered board you fucking moron, doesn't mean they're good at it.

  • Jeffersonian||

    Obama did that in a fucking afternoon with his porkulous, and we didn't even get a dead dictator out of that.

  • The Pointer-Outer||

    Your Team, shrike, has blood on its hands with regard to Iraq.

  • ||

    What should be a stunning revelation to most people is that Obama's stimulus package actually cost more than the 9-year Iraq War. Whether you agree or disagree with the war, at least we know how the money for it was spent as we saw it daily on the news for 9 years. Can anyone tell us where exactly the $837 billion stimulus money went?

  • o3||

    the payroll tax cuts (~40% of the stim)=/ iraq war costs

  • ||

    This was good. Hope it goes viral.

  • ||

    if everyone shares it on their FB then maybe it will

  • Mac||

    IS IT PRONOUNCED MISSOUR-EE OR MISSOUR-AH????

  • Jerry||

    Misery.

  • Jumbie||

    Not backing your sentiment but I enjoy word play.

    reason needs a 'like' button.

  • Mike M.||

    Get a load of this: Clint Eastwood was against bailouts before he was for them.

    Money quote from just three months ago: “I’ve always been very liberal when it comes to people thinking for themselves, but I’m a big hawk on cutting the deficit. I was against the stimulus thing too. We shouldn’t be bailing out the banks and car companies. If a CEO can’t figure out how to make his company profitable, then he shouldn’t be the CEO.

    Oh well, maybe Clint just really needs the money. Which is pretty darn sad, if true.

  • rather||

    he donated his fee to charity

  • WWNGD?||

    That Remy, he is quite the character.

  • Mac||

    There are at least 40 smart people in Colorado.

  • ||

    OT: What's the best American car manufacturer, dudes and dudettes?

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Toyota.

  • ||

    How about the best American American car manufacturer? American-origin?

  • ||

    I for one do not care where my car company is headquartered.

    Just give me the best possible car in my price range that I can afford.

  • ||

    I was asking out of curiosity; if I found a car I liked more produced by a foreign-based company, I'd buy it.

  • ||

    Then why even include the qualifier?

  • Mac||

    I'm buying my next car based on the song used in the advert.

  • ||

    The Toyota cars actually contain more US-made parts than the Big Three's.

    But if I had to pick I'd say Ford because they didn't take bailout money.

  • ||

    GM used to be a civilizational icon. Now look at them. You think they can be redeemed?

  • Sevo||

    Doubt it.
    Ever see a company supported by "free" money develop the discipline to give it up?
    Every incentive is to keep the taxpayer money rolling in the door.

  • ||

    "The Road To Serfdom In Pictures"

    A warning about the dangers of state control of industry. Originally printed by the General Motors corporation, Detroit, Michigan.

  • ||

    This. My last vehicle was a Ford and I must say the fucker would not die. Prior to that it was a Subaru which I liked, and prior to that a Chevy which was the biggest nightmare money hole a high school kid could imagine.

  • Mr. FIFY||

    I owned an AMC Pacer that, when it finally died, had over 400K on the odometer.

    Of course, reverse had gone out from the automatic after around 300K, so I had to park in some very strategic places. But the engine never died... eventually, the transmission did.

    I put about two hundred bucks into it, repair-wise... brake pads, and I did have to replace the valve-cover gasket. Friend of mine put a muffler on after the original fell the fuck off.

    Oh, and I had one tire blow out, thankfully under 20 MPH when it did.

    403,171 miles. I took a pic of the odometer before I sent it to the crusher, but unfortunately I lost the pic years ago. I was kinda proud of that.

  • Mr. FIFY||

    And, yes, I would blast "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the stereo.

  • 35N4P2BYY||

    I thought that they used a Gremlin in that movie.

  • Jumbie||

    Ford got a stealth bailout of some kind I seem to recall.

  • ||

    Yeah, iirc they got some sort of loan. Plus they had parts suppliers who got bailouts and "passed on the savings".

  • ||

    Some of those suppliers were making stuff for multiple manufacturers (GM, Ford, others) so it becomes impossible to unravel at that point.

  • ||

    Yeah I believe they got one of the many Fed loans.

    Although if you're going to have a lender of last resort, I don't really take issue with this. I do think that they shouldn't enjoy beneficial interest rates though in such a situation.

  • ||

    Like Solyndra.

  • Yet Another Dave||

    But if I had to pick I'd say Ford because they didn't take bailout money.

    I totally agree, although the biggest piece-of-crap automobile I've ever owned was a Mercury Cougar. Turned me off of Ford products altogether. I had a Plymouth that may not have been the most awe-inspiring car to drive, but it at least spent more time on the road than in the shop, unlike that Mercury.

    I've owned three Honda products (including my wife's Civic), and I'm bullish on the marquee as a result. Well built, good on gas, fun to drive ... everything I could want in a car. And though it wasn't one of my criteria when I was shopping, they do get bonus points for having been built in Ohio.

  • Hooha||

    I don't know what you were doing to that poor cougar if you're not just spewing bias all over it.

    I drove an XR7 for years until an SUV driver killed it in a spectacular wreck, and it was a wonderful vehicle. It only ever had two problems; an O2 sensor went bad (which IS a nightmare to deal with), and the stock head cracked, which they replaced with a nice aluminum one for free. Though I suppose that could have been a real PITA if it had happened somewhere less convenient. As it was, I made it home before she bled out all her coolant and destroyed the engine.

  • Mr. FIFY||

    Packard went out of business in 1956, Res.

  • Brett||

    Packerd merged with Studebaker and went on to make great cars like the '60 Studebaker Lark with a six cylinder flathead and 3 on the tree.

  • MacKlingon||

    Studebaker

  • ||

    Willys.

  • R||

    If you want to buy American, what's the best pick: a Toyota car made in Georgia or a GM car from Guangdong?

  • ||

    Honda. If I can buy it in the US, that's American enough for me.

  • ^this^||

  • Yet Another Dave||

    +2

  • Mac||

    Studebaker

  • Xenocles||

    I'm partial to Hyundai myself.

  • ||

    DeLorean. (Gotta think four-dimensionally.)

  • Sevo||

    "Great lines, including the one on the glove-box door".
    Coke, for those who don't remember the joke.

  • Mac||

    Duesenberg?

  • Sevo||

    Not if you compared them to Millers; a Duzzy hose-clamp is wire wrapped around the hose.
    In that era, Packard would have been my choice.

  • Mac||

    OH MINNESOTA, How can you be so dumb?

  • Bingo||

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH seriously, Santorum?

    Oh my god we are so fucked.

  • Jumbie||

    Have a gay activist friend in Minnesota. This must be killing her.

  • ||

    Great parody.

    Poor choice that a Mustang was used in one scene (@0:25) when Ford was the only domestic car company that didn't take that bailout.

    That probably should have been a GM car.

  • Sevo||

    OT:
    "Assembly speaker has plan to cut college tuition"
    ------------
    "It would amount to a $4,000 annual savings for California State University students and just over $8,100 for students attending the University of California"

    Amazing, right?
    "[it] cost the state about $1 billion per year, which would be raised by eliminating a corporate tax break that was approved in 2009 as part of budget negotiations between Democrats and Republicans."
    See how easy that is? Why, it's not much harder than inventing bullshit!
    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/......DTL&tsp=1

  • ||

    I wonder if they figured out how they're going to pay for the corporations moving to other states.

  • Jumbie||

    This comic reminds me of the primary process quite a bit, especially now that Santroum -Santorum!- is getting a surge.

    http://www.oglaf.com/prowess/1/

  • Jumbie||

    ^^NSWF! NSFW!

    Sorry.

    NSFW!

  • Gray Ghost||

    Oglaf is hilarious---"I can't believe we've been making them fight this whole time," but yeah, definitely NSFW.

  • Sevo||

    Tulpa|2.7.12 @ 11:01PM|#
    "I wonder if they figured out how they're going to pay for the corporations moving to other states."
    There will be enough of those, but the bozo also ignores that the ones that stay have corporate tax lawyers who will find other means of avoiding the tax increase (let's be honest about what it is).
    His supposed $1Bn will turn out to be, oh, a couple of mil and then we'll get the excuse that 'revenues didn't rise enough to (X), so we need some new taxes'.
    Rinse and repeat.

  • Brett||

    Chrysler moved to Detroit because of tax breaks and subsidies; Ford is still in Highland Park which has a better business environment.

  • Jumbie||

    Also, as long as I'm posting political cartoons:

    http://www.treelobsters.com/20.....eline.html

  • Mac||

    If you retweet "Sea Shepherd" you will be unfollowed.

  • Mac||

    Jon Stewart vs. Lou Dobbs. A conversation for the ages

  • el Commentariosa||

  • el Commentariosa||

    US election 2012: Rick Santorum thrusts back into race with Minnesota and Colorado wins over Mitt Romney http://tgr.ph/zM1ziB

  • PigBusters||

    Great. A cold blooded killer who throughout his recent best seller showed no remorse, conscience or understanding why anyone would fight back against an invading army has now been given a grant by the Obama administration to train cops.

    http://www.freedominourtime.blogspot.com/

    During his service in Iraq, Kyle occasionally functioned as a law enforcement officer of sorts. He was involved in dozens of raids against the homes of suspected "insurgents," many of whom were arrested on the basis of uncorroborated accusations by anonymous informants.

    He allows that many of the people dragged off in shackles were entirely innocent, but maintains that he wasn't ever troubled by that fact; he was just doing his "duty."

    Shortly before the war began, Kyle was part of a SEAL unit tasked to enforce UNsanctions against Iraq by intercepting tankers leaving the country with unlicensed oil deliveries. On one occasion, he boarded a tanker commanded by a commercial sea captain who "had some fight in him, and even though he was unarmed, he wasn’t ready to surrender."

    "He made a run at me," Kyle continues. "Pretty stupid. First of all, I’m not only bigger than him, but I was wearing full body armor. Not to mention the fact that I had a submachine gun in my hand. I took the muzzle of my gun and struck the idiot in the chest. He went right down."

    If Kyle had been a warrior, rather than a bully, he would have admired the authentic courage displayed by the smaller, unarmed man who fought to protect the ship and cargo entrusted to him.

    How would he act if the roles were reversed – if he were the over-matched man trying to defend private property from a group of state-licensed pirates claiming "authority" from a UN mandate? We’ll never know the answer to that question, because Kyle’s "courage" is of the sort that only manifests itself in the service of power, and in the company of those enjoying a prohibitive advantage over their victims.

    Kyle’s "service" continues, even though he’s retired from the military. He is president of Craft International, a Homeland Security contractor involved in training domestic law enforcement agencies. It’s quite likely that Kyle’s outfit will soak up a considerable portion of the roughly $1.5 billion dollars the Obama administration seeks to hire military veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan to work as police, emergency personnel, and park rangers.

    Makes one wish there was a God who would strike the man down like Saul on the road to Damascus with the weight of his own evil so he could realize the errors of his ways before he trains another cop to brutalize Americans. Unfortunately, I only think things are going to get worse. He has the official standing against the sheep, foreign or domestic. His kind were brainwashed into subduing and killing thousands of people of a nation who never attacked us and now they have been trained to turn their arms on us.

  • ||

    Now, that made me smile; give the man a cookie!

    FD

  • ||

    Bush = Obama

    http://bottomline.msnbc.msn.co.....o-it-again

    It's Midnight in America

    It has become one of the rare things that binds the two men, the controversial automotive bailout that was begun by former President George W. Bush and completed by his successor, President Barack Obama.

    The latter defended his actions during the recent state-of-the-union address, during which he declared “The U.S. auto industry is back.” His predecessor used a meeting of the nation’s auto dealers to defend his own actions, insisting he had no other choice but to completely sink the American economy.

    “I’d do it again,” proclaimed Bush, speaking to the annual convention of the National Automobile Dealers Association....

  • ||

    For the record, the Canadian and Ontario govts both give billions to bail out Chrysler so they damn well should get a few jobs out of the deal.

  • Jim||

    For the record, Fiat refinanced all of the government debt though private loans so at this point it isn't a government owned enterprise anymore. GM however got upwards of 50 Billion and the fed's only gotten about 10 or 12 back. That to me is the far bigger crime against the public treasury.

    Personally I have mixed feelings about the bailouts. I'm biased because I work in the auto industry (but not for Chrysler, GM or Ford; one of the 'foreign' guys), but also because I know a lot of the background that most don't.

    First of all, the US government, more so than any other government, pretty much allows foreign car companies to compete head to head with the domestics with no favortism (until recently) towards them; if anything it has piled tons of regulations upon us that makes it more difficult to do business in the US. Japan, Korea, Germany et al. do give their automakers special tax breaks and tariffs to protect their home markets, and I guarantee if Toyota went through the same thing as GM they'd be the first in line for a bailout in Japan and there would be no questions asked about it. I'm not saying it's right just saying it's reality and we should keep things in perspective, and realize it's not a level playing field.

    Second, the US government had something to do with the current mess the car makers where in in my opinion; going back to WWII they encouraged larger private companies to offer pension plans and medical care as a way to keep costs down during the war and basically set everyone up for the unsustainable legagy cost issue that I believe has driven every 'bad'decision Detroit has made for the last 30 years. Really it's a good case study for what is about to happen to us nationally from having socialized those costs. US labor laws haven't helped with letting the automakers deal appropriately with their labor union that demanded the maintenance of this profit killing machine until they nearly bankrupted the companies supporting them. I'm amazed by one simple historical fact: all three domestic car companies survived the great depression, when auto sales dropped even more so than they did in this last one. The difference back then is they much less structural overhead (i.e. no legacy costs yet) and could downsize to match the market.

    Then there is the fact that the great financial crisis was pretty much also caused by goverment policies, and the fact that these companies still had significant assets and value but could not get private financing due to the liquidity crunch which was no fault of their own.

    That said I'm not saying the bailout was a good idea; after all it seems a lot of it really went to the UAW who got ownership stakes in the new corporations at the expense of the secured debt holders. So the gov't rewarded those that helped contribute to the problem in the first place. I think Fiat played the US gov't like a fiddle; since they eventually bought out the company whole I think they would have done that in conventional bankrupcy as well but they didn't have to use their own money (or anybody else's legitimately loaned money) in the mean time. I also think GM would have survived, although if the Delphi experience is any indicator they'd probably still be in bankrupcy right now. All of the new product, which has been getting favorable reviews and is selling quite well, was already in development when the bubble burst; so the recovery of GM has less to do with Obama than with the fact that the market for automobiles finally recovered and previous money invested in new product is finally paying off (but of course that's not how it will be spun for the election).

    All in all I find this situation sad; there really is no reason the US car makers shouldn't be successful in their own home market. Absent some questionable policy decisions, all of this could have been avoided.

  • ||

    I've purged it from my memory banks - Did Chrysler debt-holders get the same deep fucking as GM bond holders?

  • Yet Another Dave||

    Fascinating insight - thank you for sharing. I sincerely mean that.

    Regardless of the reason for why the Big Three have found themselves in such crappy arrangements with the unions, etc. (i.e., doesn't matter how much the gubmint had their fingers in things), it's been my understanding that letting the companies struggle and eventually go bankrupt might have been the better situation. Had they been able to re-organize under the terms of the bankruptcy, they would have been able to unshackle themselves from that yoke and ultimately come out more competitive on the other end.

  • Jim||

    Agreed. That was actually part of my (long winded) point.

  • Jim||

    There are other precedents to this- the steel industry underwent a similar transformation. If I remember correctly, Bethlehem Steel had 11 retiries for every one working. They went belly up, and a new owner took over, set up a trust fund to help pay the legacy costs, set up everyone still working with 401K's and had the company profitable again in less than a year.

  • Ska||

    So....Remy is a Fallout ghoul?

  • ||

    Oh wow thats some pretty good stuff dude. Wow.

    www.anon-puter.tk

  • lol||

    Pedo-phile information?Seeking for the people have the same sexual orientation. please consult the site ---datepedo*cO'm---, you will find the like-minded people!

  • Jay S||

    It's only the First Intermission in Canada.

  • tom||

    didn't they pay the gov back? with interest?

  • Bobarian||

    Not sure about Chrysler, but GM used government loaned money to claim they were paying back the government loans.

  • seawitch1261||

    This cannot even be called a parody. It's a whiny response. You would have done better talking about the trillions that Bush poured into TARP which didn't even benefit US workers but kept the super rich fat and healthy.

  • shrike||

    Away, imposter! Only I am allowed to make frivolous posts blaming Bush for all the deficits run up by my Messiah's handouts to George Soros and T. Boone Pickens!

  • Em||

    Am I the only one who has a problem with there being a rape joke here? I've liked Remy's stuff in the past, but that was a low blow. Really poor taste.

  • LP||

    Liberal logic: when the government gives our money to some rich dudes to stay rich it helps America but Walmart shouldn't use their own money to pay their employees higher than minimum wage? Oh right, because as a nation we should only support things that most people don't want.

  • chaussures nike shox femme||

    ok....

  • buy3buy.com||

    right

  • buy3buy.com||

    Right

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