Roswell Couple Refuses to Let DEA Agents Inside Their Fugitive-Free Home

In a story notable not just for a lack of puppy death, a couple in Roswell, New Mexico, were recently rattled by the abrupt arrival of Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) agents, guns out, at their door.

The woman, Nancy Parker, told KRQE news that she was shocked and frightened by the experience, which was apparently motivated by "a citizen's tip." What is more surprising is the following:

My husband asked, 'Do you have a warrant?  Who are you looking for?' and they said, 'Gerald Sentell,'" Parker said.  "We don't even know this person."...

Parker said she and her husband were wary of cooperating because they weren't sure what was going on.

When asked if she thought the officers could have been impostors, Parker replied, "Yes. That's very much what we thought, and that's why my husband said no, you're not coming in this house without a warrant."

The agents apparently took no for an answer and left. The DEA dubbed all of it "procedure." 

Reason on DEA mischief. 

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  • ||

    Mr and Mrs Parker, you are great Americans.

  • ||

    They're also lucky to be alive.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Welcome to the terrorist watch list, Mr. and Mrs. Parker.

  • Federal Dog||

    "That's very much what we thought, and that's why my husband said no, you're not coming in this house without a warrant."

    Oh, for God's sake: Even (especially?) if they ARE feds, demand to see a warrant before permitting entry.

  • ||

    The agents apparently took no for an answer and left.

    I'm stunned, but pleased.

  • ||

    I'll keep a de-fib and ambu on hand just in case there's delayed reaction of shock.

  • ||

    "You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!"

  • ||

    "I'm calling you ugly, I could push your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies."

  • ||

    "Watch it, sucka!"

  • ||

    "You ole fish-eyed fool."

  • ||

    This made my morning.

  • fish||

    The agents apparently took no for an answer and left

    ARREST THE TRAITORS!!! THE FAMILIES AS WELL!

  • rts||

    So... why didn't they have a warrant before hand? From the sounds of it these things are just rubber-stamped.

  • fish||

    From the sounds of it these things are just rubber-stamped.

    Yeah...just grab one off the roll as you leave!

  • ||

    Such tactics are very common in poor/minority areas. Cops believe that (rightly in most cases) that poor people and blacks will be intimidated enough to just let them in, so they can avoid "trouble". No warrant needed.

  • steve||

    Screw that, I still don't get why they didn't break the door down like every other gubmint 'visit'

  • ||

    Maybe because they're starting to worry about fallout from Fast and Furious?

  • MrGuy||

    Solution to the DEA: just say no!

  • ||

    This long and no alien jokes. We were such a strong commenting community once.

  • ||

    [cue X-Files theme]

  • ||

    Which, incidentally, has always reminded me of the Green Acres theme.

  • ||

    Mr. Haney = Cigarette Man?

  • ||

    My cousins used to call him "Cancer Man". Both Mr. Haney and Cigarette Smoking Man.

  • ||

    No kidding, I thought that was his nickname for a while. Where did that come from?

  • ||

    Yes. The whole show was a direct rip-off of Green Acres.

  • ||

    Who was Arnold?

  • ||

    Skinner, of course.

  • Tim||

    Mr Drucker was Skinner.

  • ||

    Skinner was a combination of characters. The regular cast of Green Acres was much bigger than that of The X-Files.

  • Mr. Mark||

    You don't need to see his identification.

    "We don't need to see his identification."

    This isn't the house you're looking for.

    "This isn't the house we're looking for."

    We can go about our business.

    "You can go about your business."

  • ||

    Holy shit! That works?

  • ||

    Apparently it's like hypnotism, it only works on the willing. Do you need smelling salts and a fainting couch?

    Personally, I think that genteel couple is a hiding a cosmic ray emitting space rock that makes authoritarian types highly open to suggestion.

  • ||

    Personally, I think that genteel couple is a hiding a cosmic ray emitting space rock that makes authoritarian types highly open to suggestion.

    Now on sale: DEA Agent Repelling Rocks. Also keeps out Tigers, Mosquitos, and Fruit Flies.

  • Homer||

    Lisa I want to buy your rock!

  • Old Mexican||

    The agents apparently took no for an answer and left. The DEA dubbed all of it "procedure."


    They don't know how close they came to be shot dead with nothing more than a "Ooops! Sorry!" from the DEA.

    They were so lucky.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    If the residents displayed a firearm as a persuasion device, they would have ended up dead. And dunphy would be fine with it. Officer safety outweighs property and self defense rights.

  • cynical||

    Not to get all Tulpa or dunphy, but it's a little depressing that the volume of bitching is almost as loud when they don't do the wrong thing as when they do.

  • Apogee||

    when they don't do the wrong thing as when they do.

    I get a little depressed when doing the right thing means not killing innocent civilians.

    Perhaps they could have checked on their 'tipster' first, or obtained a warrant, staked out the property and observed who was actually there before going in with the guns.

  • ||

    I think not killing inncocents is always the right thing to do, but maybe you mean you get depressed when they actually do the right thing?

  • Joe M||

    I'm amazed. I can't believe they just left. What's sickening, of course, is that they initially expected to be able to just barge into the house in the first place. They were probably as confused by the refusal as I am about their acceptance of it. Why didn't they make up some BS about it being "too important" or "time sensitive" and just blow the doors down? Mysterious!

  • Joe M||

    The DEA dubbed all of it "procedure."

    So just to be clear, the DEA considers warrantless home invasion to be "procedure".

  • ||

    To be clear, there was no home invasion since that would require entering the home, which they (surprisingly) did not.

  • Xenocles||

    I would hope that leaving when asked absent a warrant would be procedure.

  • ||

    I'm shocked. Simply incredulous. It's because there were no dog toys in plain sight.

    Say, I wonder if this would work at my office? Probably not.

  • ||

    Threadjack. When did Canada go Full Retard?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....r_embedded

  • Warty||

    The Fed will be around a year from now. We don't know about gold, though: it might decay into beryllium or something.

  • Mango Punch||

    In all fairness, most gold contracts aren't backed by hard assets. When you buy gold in a brokerage account it's not a promise of delivery of hard assets - even "hard asset" funds don't usually rarely hold the collateral. So you're ultimately betting on the credit quality of the institution...

    ... That said, the reporter doesn't know this and is an idiot.

  • Joe M||

    Wow, mind blown twice in a single thread. So gold has no value unless the government tells us it does, I suppose? And why was that woman reporting on this outdoors, exactly?

  • ||

    Do you know how expensive it is to make gold? First, you need a fairly massive sun. Wait some billions of years, until it supernovas. Collect your gold. Repeat.

    It's just not worth the trouble.

  • RobSmalls||

    The Chinese have a much more efficient method to farm gold. They turn a tidy profit.

  • Apatheist||

    No, no, no, all we need to do is crash a few asteroids into the planet. How hard can that be?

    http://io9.com/5838101/all-our.....asteroids/

  • ||

    That's just stealing gold made by another star. Someone has to make it in the first place.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    What if they threw a warrantless raid and nobody came?

  • Sidd Finch, DEA Spokesperson||

    Let me be clear, our procedure is to dress up like 3rd world guerrillas and scare the shit out of people. If they remember their 4th Amendment rights mid pants shitting, we respect that.

  • Sparky||

    Obviously these DEA agents were really aliens that still haven't fully grasped human behavior. Maybe they thought they couldn't break in and start shooting unless there was a dog present. These people owe their lives to the fact they don't own a dog.

  • Dookie Brown||

    These must have been trainees. A seasoned DEA agent would have wiped his ass with the fourth amendment and then shot a dog.

  • Federal Dog||

    They learned that from ATF.

  • Blind Old Rover||

    I still can't believe this. I'm baffled.

  • Mr. Mark||

  • ||

    I can see the boards he is walking on.
    This is just one reason I find it difficult to suspend disbelief watching some movies.

  • Alan Vanneman||

    No dead puppies and no aliens? Why am I reading this?

  • ||

    Yeah, what is this, National Geographic? Virginia would've led with aliens.

  • ||

    Drink?

  • ||

    I believe so, yes.

  • ||

    the real question is, does what is this, National Geographic? count as a technical invocation of For a magazine called "Reason", and whether we then have to drink! once or twice in response to the post.

  • ||

    I invoked Virginia. That's a drink by itself.

  • ||

    Virginia would've led with aliens. = an invocation of the magazine was better under Postrel, yes, so that's one drink, i got that. my question remains

  • ||

    Subjectively, I can say no, because I wasn't thinking "for a magazine called Reason." However, no one is compelled to believe me, so a drink for that purpose is also acceptable.

  • kinnath||

    I can't believe no one has posted:

    And nothing else happened.

  • ||

    Honestly, I was waiting for that one myself.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Roswell that ends well?

  • Warty||

    "I did do the nasty in the past-y!"

    "Verily. And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains. You are the last hope of the universe."

  • tarran||

    "And now I am leaving the Earth for no raisin!"

  • ||

    Roswell that ends well?

    I chuckled. Audibly.

  • steve||

    Such a wordy way to say: LOL

  • Tim||

    WHat next? TSA catches a terrorist?

  • ||

    Is that their job??

    I wasn't aware.

    I thought it was inconveniencing travelers.

  • ||

    Yeah, but they might get lucky.

  • ||

    The most disheartening thing about this is the fact that we are surprised that the DEA agents took "no" for an answer.

  • Restoras||

    Top. Men.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Abolish the DEA and fire every one of those fucking bitches of statism with no pension. ATF, too. Fuckers.

  • Zeb||

    This is a good first step. Provided that step two is to abolish the DEA and legalize all drugs.

  • ||

    I take the fact that these "DEA agents" took no for an answer pretty much proves that Parker was right in suspecting that they were imposters.

  • juris imprudent||

    Clearly imposters.

    They might as well have yelled "flowers".

  • ||

    Landsharks are becoming craftier everyday. Remember, always keep a wooden mallet within reaching distance when you answer the door.

  • tarran||

    I find it interesting that they pounded on the door aggressively - then backed off when the residents answered the door.

    On the other hand, it's important to recognize that we are the victims of sampling bias - we only hear the outrageous stuff - so we think the outrageous stuff is the norm.

    Moreover we can't paint all units of the state with the same brush. The police in my home town, for example, are absolute sticklers for getting warrants and respecting people's rights. Two towns over the PD are essentially another street-gang albeit one that extorts money from passers-by under the guise of "moving violations" rather than by the more conventional drug dealing.

  • TheBigBadWolf||

    These impudent criminals are lucky that

    A)I wasn't on the team that raided them
    B)The house isn't made from straw/sticks

  • ||

    Surprised they didn't go stormtrooper on their asses. But then again, there was no warrant involved. I guess i would of told them to fuck off too.

    Just goes to show you how stupid the dea is for raiding someone without a warrant. And how stupid most people would be and just let them in, which prob happens all the time.

  • np||

    which was apparently motivated by "a citizen's tip"

    .. "oh noes, I think I saw that guy with teh drugs in his backyard! somebody stop him!"

    .. same neighbor then complains about the gubmint on his back with taxes; wasteful spending, etc.

    Somehow I don't think it matters if we get rid of the DEA today. It'll be reinstated by "the people" sooner or later.

  • @shortwave8669||

    Next time the DEA will be sure to have a tip of drugs on premises so they can use a no-knock raid

  • ||

    Warrant? I don't have no warrant! I don't need to show you any steenking warrant!

  • Georg Felis||

    I certainly hope the rest of the federal agencies take this as an example of how to interact with the law-abiding public.

    *knock, knock* "Federal agents, we'd like to search your house"
    "Do you have a warrant?"
    "No."
    "Then go away."
    "Thank you, Goodbye"

    It certainly beats the ATF raid philosophy.
    "Fedral" *smash* "Agents" *crash* *bang* *bang* "Open" *crash* "the door" *bangbangbangbangbang*

  • ||

    Badges? We don't need no stinking badges, er, never mind.

  • Bob Turner||

    OK, I'll explain what no-one seems to have twigged about this. It's is a dead cert' that when the couple opened the door, there was still a very substantial steel security door between them and the Feds and rushing in was not an option for the cops.

    I've been in this very spot myself (except I was guilty as fuck and we all knew it) Cop said "Let us in! We can see the drugs right there!" I replied politely from behind heavy bars, "May I see your warrant officer?" I was not at all convinced that they weren't going to just shoot me. Cop number one's head was fit to explode and he kept shouting "You HAVE TO let us in!" Once I was sure they wouldn't just shoot me out of spite it was quite wonderful having this conversation about constitutional rights.

    The building was a commercial property I was leasing and they really would have needed some serious tools to break in. Also it was 3:00am so getting a warrant by 6:00am (shift change for them) proved too difficult. Cops DO NOT like to be kept on the clock after shift change.

  • ||

    The most effective way to end the drug war? End government licensing of physicians. Think it through.

  • Paul R.||

    Didn't any of these agents realize they could have smelled weed and not needed a warrant....this is a made up story

  • ElectricLion||

    Personally, I don't see the problem. The agents admitted that they didn't have a warrant, and respected the homeowner's wishes. Case closed. Why is this a story worth telling?

  • ||

    DEA... anti-American traitors needing to be arrested, tried and executed for crimes against humanity.

    They are the lowest possible lifeform.

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