Michelle Obama Replaces Easter Candy With Hand-Washing Stations; Solidifies Position as Nation's Leading Noodge

First they came for our disposable income to pay for the TARP and auto company bailouts. Then they came for our healthcare dollars, to pay for a deficit-neutral plan to blow out the budget. And now they've come for our Cadbury eggs and Hershey chocolate rabbits and Reese's peanut-butter eggs. In its place will be "pre-screened fruit," whatever the hell that is.

Michelle Obama took the candy out of Easter and replaced it with fruit, exercise and public hand-washing stations.

Peeps, jellybeans and chocolate bunnies were nowhere to be found at the White House's Easter Egg Roll. Every goodie bag was stuffed with pre-screened fruit, and the grounds were filled with exercise stations hosted by Olympic athletes, Washington Redskins and Baltimore Ravens players. The South Lawn was transformed into a playground as part of the first lady's pledge to fight childhood obesity.

Whole sad story here.

Like most obesity eliminationists, Barack and Michelle Obama are willing to fight fat on the beaches, in the lunch rooms, and dining rooms, anywhere and whatever the cost may be, including engendering an eating disorder in their own children ("Malia was getting a little chubby...") because the only thing worse than being a bulimic is being a fat bulimic.

Recently, Reason.tv made the case against Brit celeb chef Jamie Oliver's intervention into school lunches in the fattest town in the old colonies.

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  • ||

    they can have my marshmellow peeps and chocolate bunnies when they pry them out of my cold, dead, goowy, sugary, diabetic fingers.

  • ||

    +1

  • ||

    gooey

  • Michelle||

    My new slogan... Candy is for CRACKERS!

  • ||

    Let the kids have some damn candy, you shovel-faced ass.

  • Coal Shovel||

    Fuck you!

  • ||

    At least that's better than a shovel-ready ass.

  • Ska||

    I've heard that's not true in Tijuana.

  • CTGAl||

    They did have candy. If the person who wrote this post had done his research properly, he would have explained that the goodie bags contained fruit plus Hershey's chocolate and Peeps.

  • boomshanka||

    what exactly is the problem with encouraging people to eat healthy?

  • ||

    There's nothing wrong with it, until you make it mandatory.

    And a kid opening an Easter egg to find three grapes and a laminated card to help them calculate their BMI is a dick move.

  • boomshanka||

    i guess that would be a dick move if it happened.

  • Pip||

    Here. Eat some shit.

  • boomshanka||

    i bet you're fat.

  • Pip||

    You lose.

  • boomshanka||

    but no, they got fruit, a playground, and justin bieber.

  • T||

    Justin Bieber proves the origin of this foul deed. It's a canadian plot to destroy our essence. Bomb canadia until they stop...

  • CTGAl||

    Please explain to me how providing fruit at a White House Easter Egg roll makes eating healthy "mandatory."

    Once again, instead of coming up with an honest argument, alarmist words are being tossed around. I guess you really don't have a better argument so all you have is name calling.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    What exactly is the problem with a little bit of holiday candy? The candy does not make anyone less healthy. An all around shitty diet combined with unfortunate genetics are the cause of obesity.

  • ||

    "unfortunate genetics"

    Pray Michelle doesn't pick up a copy of Eugenics for Skinny Kids.

  • ¢||

    That chubby lady appears to be smuggling in a stoner-size burrito under her shirt.

  • no one||

    +1

  • Warty||

    Baltimore Ravens players

    DIE YOU FUCKING EVIL WHORE

  • Art-P.O.G.||

    +1. This is the part I actually object to. Even the Redskins annoy me, but the Ravens? Boooooooo

  • ||

    I can't believe that this post-racial administration invited members of a team named after a racial slur.

  • ||

    As a former child I have to point out that if I went to an Easter egee hunt and there was no candy ny response would have been "What a gip!"

    It's like the fuckwad dentist who handed out toothbuysses and floss on Halloween.

  • Ska||

    Except I could understand why the dentist gives out floss on Halloween. Giving Purell as an Easter treat is far worse.

  • ||

    "This is just a taste of what to expect when you grow up and become productive taxpayers, kids."

  • ||

    I hope the kids TP the White House after this.

  • x,y||

    And that would be offensive to gypsies, J sub D. I'm glad you've grown up.

    /whiny liberal

  • Geezer||

    You can take the girl out of the projects, but you can't take the projects out of the girl.

    Next on What Not to Wear . . . . .

  • boomshanka||

    what does that have to do with anything about the story? obviously there's no implied racism in your comment...

  • The Gobbler||

    HELLO SHIT FACKTORY!

  • Fatty Bolger||

    WTF are you talking about?

  • ||

    If you think that's what people wear in the ghetto, I'm guessing you're one of those people that thinks a suburb with a black population of greater than five percent qualifies as a ghetto.

  • T||

    There are black people that live in the suburbs? I thought that wasn't the authentic black experience, so they're no longer black if they live there.

  • Art-P.O.G.||

    Ha ha ha ha, word.

  • ||

    Yeah, they go by several names. Uncle Tom... House Negro... Clarence Thomas...

  • MNG's Goiter||

    Barack Obama...

  • Tim||

    Bait and switch, it's what the Obamas do.

  • Scotticus Finch||

    Meh. I wouldn't take my son, but it's her party.

    All that fruit though; I hope some kid leaves a giant steamer on the White House lawn.

  • no one||

    Her party, funded by tax payer dollars. So really it's OUR party. And if it's our party, we can cry if we want to.

    Bitch. *sniffle*

  • ||

    'Smith!' screamed the shrewish voice from the telescreen. '6079 Smith W.! Yes, you! Bend lower, please! You can do better than that. You're not trying. Lower, please! That's better, comrade. Now stand at ease, the whole squad, and watch me.'

    A sudden hot sweat had broken out all over Winston's body. His face remained completely inscrutable. Never show dismay! Never show resentment! A single flicker of the eyes could give you away. He stood watching while the instructress raised her arms above her head and -- one could not say gracefully, but with remarkable neatness and efficiency -- bent over and tucked the first joint of her fingers under her toes.
  • Joe M||

    Wow you totally stole that from me. Little did I know that I'd stolen it from someone else.

    It's a bit disturbing that that section of the book is becoming apropos to more and more H&R posts.

  • ||

    STEVE SMITH BEND OVER FOR NO WOMAN!

  • Stereo Apple||

    Nice use of eliminationists.

  • Hobo Chang Ba||

    I was surprised by the amount of calories in dried fruit. One bag of trail mix (nuts and fruit, no added sugar) = literally 1/2 a day's calories (around 1000). That's far more than a few candy bars.

  • boomshanka||

    yeah, but candy bars are empty calories.

  • DoDoGuRu||

    You'll still get diabetes, but at least the calories were "full calories" instead of "empty calories".

  • boomshanka||

    You're more likely to get diabetes from refined sugars and processed foods, which you'll find in candy bars but not fruits and nuts.

  • The Central Scrutinizer||

    Go wash your dick with Listerine, you joyless fuck.

  • deet||

    +10

  • Zeb||

    That is interesting if the only thing you are concerned about is caloric content. There are other aspects to nutrition. But nutrition is not meant to be the driving force behind easter egg hunts.

    I would like to see more actual eggs, though. Somehow people have come to think that easter egg means an egg shaped piece of chocolate.

  • ||

    But what if they took the eggs home and... deviled them!

    Mayonnaise is powerful wicked and sinful.

  • T||

    Which is why I buy it in gallon jars. And then mix it with Chipotle Tobasco, so it's powerful, wicked, sinful, and spicy.

  • ||

    Hellishly delicious.

  • ||

    I thought an easter egg was an adult toy, actually. But then again I had a messed-up childhood.

  • cynical||

    "Somehow people have come to think that easter egg means an egg shaped piece of chocolate."

    For easter egg hunts? No, it's a little weird artificial sugary creme center surrounded by colored harder candy coating with a slightly citrusy taste. It's not exactly egg-shaped either.

  • MJ||

    I feel so sorry for their kids, and the kids who were their expecting an Easter treat.

  • Ska||

    They'll just become cokeheads in college, so it's cool.

  • ||

    Yeah, I feel for them, but since the families are probably also "pre-screened" those kids have probably never had real candy, they probably don't know what they're missing.

    Some day they'll grow up, discover that their childhoods were stolen from them and vote libertarian.

  • Joel||

    After murdering their parents in their beds.

  • ||

    The NagWife In Chief

    Obama told the kids it's not enough to work out, "you've got to exercise your brain just like you exercise your body." He called "Green Eggs and Ham" one of the classics. "I'm going to try to do the best rendition ever of 'Green Eggs and Ham.' "

    A point of the book, Obama said, is to eat your vegetables. "When your parents tell you to eat your broccoli, you don't know whether you're going to like them or not. You've got to try it," he said. "When your parents tell you to eat your peas, eat your peas."
  • Abdul||

    Broccoli is like health care reform: you won't know what's in it until you pass it.

    And once you pass it, your pee smells funny.

  • ||

    Asparagus is the all time champ for funny smelling pee.

  • Warty||

    You've never had Indian food?

  • BakedPenguin||

    OTOH, you can always eat a pint of blueberries. they won't make your pee stink, but they will make your crap greener than a leprechaun.

    Something to remember for next year's St. Patrick's day...

  • Ska||

    How about black licorice?

  • ||

    Racist.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Yes, but at least I'm a festive racist. You lazy, potato-munching, British-hating, whiskey-sodden drunk.

  • BakedPenguin||

    I've never noticed a difference with licorice. If there is one, maybe you can brighten up your Kwanzaa...

  • Ska||

    Then you just haven't tried hard enough. Black licorice has the same effect as blueberries, which makes it even more bizarre to me.

  • Shamus the Leprechaun||

    I don't shit green, laddie. In fact, the only thing we leprechauns shit is gold.

  • ||

    The Nachos at Lucy's Retired Surfers Bar in Baton Rouge have the same effect. I wonder what the secret ingredient is.

  • MNG's Goiter||

    Refining waste.

  • z||

    A liberal dash of Hope and Change.

  • Pope Jimbo||

    Why not eat kimchi so that your whole body stinks? That way you don't have to work up a whiz to impress that special someone with your uniqueness.

  • Warty||

    Goddammit, this makes me ashamed for always eating my vegetables.

  • ||

    Children taste bitter as a much stronger flavor than adults. Bitter is often an indicator of poison. Most dark green vegetables are bitter.

    Children who don't like vegetables are merely responding in a rational manner to millions of years of evolutionary selection.

    Obama wants kids to ignore the fact that they are eating something that tastes like poison.

  • mr simple||

    So, children taste bitter and are likely poisonous and we should stick to eating adults?

  • ||

    Finally, someone is paying attention.

  • Fried Children||

    Original, Extra Crispy, or Grilled?

  • Art-P.O.G.||

  • no one||

  • Art-P.O.G.||

    What a wonderful, wonderful show...and I hear they've made new episodes!

  • ||

    Yes, good news everyone! 26 new episodes scheduled to begin airing on June 24th!

  • ||

    Finally some work maybe for a real doctor like me.

  • Joe M||

    That's to desensitize them to the real poison, which comes later.

  • Art-P.O.G.||

    True as well.

  • Charles Darwin||

    Why does Obama hate me?

  • MJ||

    I thought the point of "Green Eggs and Ham" was to be open to try foods that sound or look unappetizing to a kid? Because, you know despite being green, Ham and Eggs as a dish is notably devoid of vegetables.

  • J. Swift||

    It makes little sense to target candy or any other food, all of which can be safely eaten by the non-overweight. If the goal is to reduce obesity, then we should focus our efforts on the obese. I propose we tax them directly.

    Every year within a week of your birthday, you'll have to visit a Post Office, take off your shoes, and stand on a scale. You're spotted five pounds for clothing and your height is measured. For every BMI point above 26, you're taxed $25.

  • Art-P.O.G.||

    BMI is wiggity-wiggity wack.

  • J. Swift||

    Are there other ways obesity is measured? I welcome all suggested refinements to my plan.

  • Tomcat1066||

    Ahnuld, back in his prime, had a BMI of obese despite having a low body fat percentage. BMI is really just a ratio of weight versus height. It doesn't take into account those who are mostly muscle with a low body fat percentage.

    As for your suggestion of taxing fat people directly, why? You do realize there are some people who are overweight because of medical conditions that are beyond their control, right?

    Of course, your tax idea would also push some to take up anorexia and bulemia to keep from being taxed. Nice job! Now, we're thinner but even LESS healthy! Way to go!

    Dipshit.

  • Death Panel||

    "You do realize there are some people who are overweight because of medical conditions that are beyond their control, right?"

    That's where we come in.

  • J. Swift||

    Jeez, what's with all the humorless types around here recently? Please read up on your literary history.

  • Tomcat1066||

    A Modest Proposal was so over the top in it satire that there was no mistaking it for a serious proposal. Your "proposal" wasn't even close to that. From a libertarian perspective, maybe, but there are far to many dipshits who will read that and say to themselves "that's not a bad idea". Besides, there are similar proposals that aren't even CLOSE to satire out there.

  • J. Swift||

    I thought the name I posted under would be a big clue...

  • ||

    Threadjack (because I find Michelle Obama a uniquely annoying combination of boring and irritating:

    The Federal Communications Commission does not have the legal authority to slap Net neutrality regulations on Internet providers, a federal appeals court ruled Tuesday.

    A three-judge panel in Washington, D.C. unanimously tossed out the FCC's August 2008 cease and desist order against Comcast, which had taken measures to slow BitTorrent transfers and had voluntarily ended them earlier that year.

    Because the FCC "has failed to tie its assertion" of regulatory authority to any actual law enacted by Congress, the agency does not have the authority to regulate an Internet provider's network management practices, wrote Judge David Tatel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit.

  • ||

    Ha-ha!

  • Jimmy the Greek||

    Michelle, dont you understand that your kids were bred to be heavy...

    The black is a better athlete to begin with because he's been bred to be that way — because of his high thighs and big thighs that goes up into his back, and they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs. This goes back all the way to the Civil War when during the slave trading, the owner — the slave owner would breed his big black to his big woman so that he could have a big black kid.

    Now stop being niggardly with that candy, you cannot control genetics.

    Best Regards,
    Jimmy

  • ||

    And how the fuck is any of that going to help me pick the winner of tonight's Giants/'Stros game?

  • &||

    they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs

    Essentially true, so it must be racist.

  • ||

    Someone didn't watch Duke vs. Baylor last night.

  • ||

    Butler, gorram it!

  • Jennifer||

    Next up: fight rampant consumerism by making sure kids get only socks and new underwear for their birthdays and Christmas.

    And "Malia was getting chubby?" What, a girl whose body is preparing to enter puberty might fall short of modern thin-n-attractiveness standards? Jesus Christ on a stick, Michelle, that's called normal, you sanctimonious twit.

    I'm thin -- on the cusp between "normal" and "underweight" according to the BMI charts -- and that's been the case all my life ... except for a year or so during adolescence. When my body transitioned from "little girl" to "adult woman," yeah, things got ugly for awhile; my junior year of high school I weighed maybe 10 or 15 pounds more than I do now. And all that weight eventually dropped off with no effort on my part, except the unconscious effort required to GTFO of adolescence.

    If only I'd had a caring mother like Michelle Obama to make my teenage-girl self worry about my physical appearance even more than she already did. I'm sure I somehow would've turned out better.

  • Pip||

    "When my body transitioned from "little girl" to "adult woman""

    Got any pictures?

  • alan||

    Whenever Jennifer post, I always want pictures. Especially the one when she wrote about her frugal life style and saving money a while back. To this fiscal conservative, THAT was hot. I wished my girlfriend took fashion advice from her. Something like, 'You can always find something unique, well made, and inexpensive in the assignment shops nearest the historical districts,' would help lure her the fuck away from Macey's.

  • ||

    We've seen pictures. We weren't impressed.

  • ||

    I don't know, but I'm guessing this is why Jennifer doesn't post as often as she used to.

  • Jennifer||

    Part of it, yes. But since ungentlemanly thoughts of me are already floating around this thread -- what the hell! Click through to my blog today; my latest post links to an op-ed I wrote for a British publication on the topic "An ex-stripper's view of Iceland's national strip-club ban."

    Though the article has no photos save my usual headshot. Sorry, boys.

  • ||

    We'll use our imagination. Are you a 38C or a 36DD?

  • Jennifer||

    Whichever size makes you more likely to give me money.

  • ||

    Baltimore Ravens players.

    Let's hope *they* were thoroughly pre-screened.

  • Art-P.O.G.||

    Threadwinner.

  • ||

    Nicely done.

  • ||

    Keep it up, Michelle. You're are doing a great job showing the public what a statist utopia will look like.

  • ||

    The point of a contraction is to eliminate a word, darnit.

  • ||

    Meh... Nobody's is perfect.

  • Art-P.O.G.||

    Niiiiiice

  • alan||

    Is that eldest daughter adopted? Too cutey pie a face to have spawned from Lady McWorf.

  • ||

    Wouldn't surprise me if they were paid actors. The young one will end up robbing a liquor store after the royalty checks dry up after 2016.

  • alan||

    I wonder if the press will keep their abortion scandals under wraps like they did Chelsea's and Amy Carter's and LBJ's daughters?

    What is the deal with modern era Democratic presidents not being able to produce male heirs. Seems like cosmic irony, eh?

  • Art-P.O.G.||

    "What, like a son? To you? Is that what this is about? All that murderin'... and fuckin'... and no sons?"

  • alan||

    Nice!

  • alan||

    Wait I forgot about that one Clinton staffer who looked like a young Greg Gumbel that Hillary was always exceptionally (even for her) frosty towards.

  • ||

    Well, Nixon and Bush II didn't either. And Reagan's was gay.

    Other than Bush I, you have to go back to Eisenhower for elected Republicans Presidents. (Ford had 3 sons.)

  • ||

    Correction. Ron Reagan is not out as a gay man. He is married to a woman. I always thought he was gay and pretty upfront about it.

  • BakedPenguin||

    He was very open about being a ballet dancer. And a hetero. He once said something like "being a straight ballet dancer, you learn to develop a thick skin. Because you hear a lot of stuff."

  • Rham Emmanuel||

    You ain't shitting pal! Worked for me to get through Chicago Machine Politics.

  • ||

    Didn't mean to touch a nerve, dude. I know your dancing career was important to you.

  • alan||

    Kind of forgot about Bush II even though little Barbara is easy on the eyes, and the daddy issues she must have make her quite a catch (though they did in Jena, she would be worth a typical quicky in the pool with a Spring break reveler, but not a full one night stand).

    With this train of thought I think I finally figured out Biden. When Obama finally says, 'fuck it, I quit, this job sucks,' and Biden becomes president it will break the cosmic cycle. That is his real purpose. Majestic 12 saw this coming a long time ago as the men willing to become Democratic candidates grew more and more feminized.

    So they kidnapped this typical middle class guy while he was in law school with dreams of being a real estate contract lawyer, they fried his brains with microwaves so the John Kenneth Galbraith pablum he was being force fed would take, and they infused his blood with cocaine to build up his ego to monstrous, politician sized proportions. Once the bandages were off they let him loose on the world.

  • Anthony Burgess||

    I find this suggestion quite compelling. In fact, extraordinarily likely!

  • alan||

    I'm starting to notice a pattern here.

  • &||

    I'd like to know why all our recent presidents have been left-handed. Is it just a coincidence that we've gone straight to hell in that time? Satan, are you there?

  • Art-P.O.G.||

    As a sinistral-American, I find your insinuation deeply troubling. ;-)

  • ||

    Some of my best friends are wrong-handed.

  • &||

    There should be special schools for them.
    Places where they can't hurt anyone.

  • alan||

    Some of my best friends are Luciferites.

  • President Brain Slug||

    Shit, I think they're starting to catch on.

  • Pope Jimbo||

    Amy Carter was running around Memphis while I was spending time there and I'm glad they kept her scandals under wraps. She was sooo ugly that a mug shot might actually look better than real life.

    IIRC she was an art student and dressed all in black to show her non-conformity and protested against various Right Wing Oppressors.

  • Steve Nash Equilibrium||

    I bet one of those kids was really surprised when he found a bloody knife used in a double homicide in his Easter egg.

  • Art-P.O.G.||

    Heh heh heh heh

  • creech||

    Maybe someday we'll have adults in the White House and we can dispense with the easter egg roll and betting food and beverages with some foreign potentate over the outcome of a sporting event.

  • Jordan||

    The Federal Government is the last entity on Earth that should be giving advice on how to cut back.

    Meanwhile, Michelle, why don't you take a look at the goddamn joke that is the USDA Food Pyramid. Anybody who follows that as a dietary guide is pretty much guaranteed to be a gigantic fatass.

    Oh yeah, and then there's the cottage industry of decades of flawed research touting low-fat, high-carb diets. Reminds me of another scam...

  • TXLimey||

    I will give all of me easter candy to anyone who can provide video of some little kid crying at this event b/c they got fruit instead of candy.

  • Barack||

    If you like your current candy, you can keep your current candy. No one will take it away from you. There are those who are trying to frighten you with wild talk about Candy Panels. There are no Candy Panels.

  • ||

    You have to eat the candy to find out what's in it!

    You'll get used to the candy and then you'll love it!

  • wayne||

    Like most obesity eliminationists...

    Sweet, Nick! You worked in the "eliminationist" word.

  • ||

    I suspect that Michelle has a hellacious daily struggle to keep from ballooning up, and takes out her anger and frustration on that front (as on all others, apparently) on everyone she can.

  • Michelle||

    But look at my arms!

  • Andy Breitbart||

    I offer a $10 reward for anyone with conclusive proof that the Easter egg kids called Michelle the N-word. Even once.

  • T||

    Nanny?

  • Ska||

    Nagger.

  • ||

    Michelle also replaced the visiting kids' school vouchers with public school enrollment, so it's not like she'll be seeing those kids at Sidwell events.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Doe "pre screened fruit" mean fruit that has been man handled by some strange fuck? I'd rather have the damn candy, at least it is protected by a wrapper.

  • Jordan||

    It's from the lead-tainted White House garden.

  • Jason||

    Nah, "pre-screened fruit" means fruit that's been x-rayed for razors and needles.

  • ||

    is mangu-ward married? she seems like she'd be a freak in the sheets.

  • ||

    The pent-up sexual frustration around here never ceases to amaze me. If only there were pictures of naked women on the internet so as to provide some form of release...

  • ||

    What does being married have to do with being a Klanswoman?

  • Jennifer||

    I also admire Michelle's willingness to share her daughter's childhood travails with the entire goddamned nation. As I look back at my own adolescence, my chief regret is that my mother never had a national platform on which to post embarrassing personal anecdotes about me. No child should be denied that. Lucky, lucky little Malia.

  • Michelle||

    a national platform on which to post embarrassing personal anecdotes about me

    Like your blog?

  • Jennifer's Blog||

    I was proud of my cuntry a LONG time before you.

  • BakedPenguin||

    I haven't read it in a long time, but I don't remember Jennifer's mom ever posting embarrassing stories on the blog.

  • &||

    I enjoyed the anti-TSA stories about the travails of having to travel with only three ounces of shampoo and conditioner.

  • ||

    Because obviously having your mom say embarrassing things about you to the entire fucking nation when you're ten years old is the same as consensually sharing personal anecdotes on a blog when you're an adult.

  • T||

    You're into that whole nuance thing, aren't you? The internets aren't for that, you know.

  • ||

    I know, but it's really damn hard to find my way out of this series of tubes.

  • BakedPenguin||

    I definitely get the feeling that a nutritional version of It Takes a Village is in the works.

    If I'm right, would it be wrong to hope the ghostwriter dies of pellagra or beri-beri?

  • LibertyGal||

    Fruit instead traditional Easter egg candy? I think I am going to puke.

  • Tony||

    The First Lady waiving her finger isn't gonna change a damn thing about our country's diet and health problems. How about we stop giving massive subsidies to industries that stuff children and everyone else with nothing but corn products?

    I'd be okay with actually incentivizing healthy eating with subsidies for fresh, local, genetically diverse fruits and vegetables. I expect reason wouldn't. Actually I expect reason to find some convoluted justification for the food industry status quo, subsidies and all.

  • ||

    I'd be okay with ,s>actually incentivizing healthy eating with subsidies for involuntary transfers of other people's wealth to producers and distributors of fresh, local, genetically diverse fruits and vegetables.

    I'm sure you would be, Tony.

  • ||

    I'd be okay with actually incentivizing healthy eating with subsidies for involuntary transfers of other people's wealth to producers and distributors of fresh, local, genetically diverse fruits and vegetables.

    Fecking HTML.

  • Tony||

    Better than transferring people's wealth to a food industry that actually harms us just because Iowa is important in presidential elections.

  • T||

    Yeah, we're against that too around here, or hadn't you noticed? Ag subsidies are the devil's work, Tony.

  • Steff||

    The first lady 'waiving' her finger would make me laugh my ass off. XD

    I'm actually a big fan of buying local produce, and supporting local merchants, but am not so sure you're supposed to be taxing people and giving other people their money to do the same.

  • Jordan||

    More subsidies! What could possibly go wrong?

    Actually I expect reason to find some convoluted justification for the food industry status quo, subsidies and all.

    We all know you're incapable of reading through the archives.

  • Tony||

    I do remember a recent article extolling the health virtues of corn syrup.

  • Jordan||

    Which has exactly nothing to do with advocating for corn subsidies or sugar tariffs.

  • Tony||

    Also, it has nothing to do with freedom or libertarianism. Yet there it was.

  • Jordan||

    What's your point? Oh, you don't have one.

  • The Central Scrutinizer||

    It on the top of his head.

  • ||

    Link? And no, articles saying the mythical dangers of HCFS are overblown don't count.

  • Pope Jimbo||

    I totally agree with the getting rid of ag-subsidies. Abolish the entire Department of Agriculture for a good start.

    No new subsidies, though, for healthy eating or anything else. Not even a subsidy to develop the tomacco plant.

  • um||

    Are you sure you aren't prejudiced in favor of fruits?

  • Breathe||

    Good for her. If they want candy, eat it at home.

  • Steff||

    Unless you're her daughter. Then you can't, because you might end up being a fatty, and the WHOLE NATION will know allllll about it.

  • AlmightyJB||

    So they can arrest the parents for child abuse?

  • ||

    ...and enjoy every peep and chocolate bunny too! Fuck these statist assholes who want to suck all of the joy out of life.

    I'm gonna have some extra chocolate tonight, just to spite you, bitch!

  • ||

    What are the intrade numbers on Malia going full on Menendez before she turns 18?

    I'm buying on anything short of 85.

  • Invisible Finger||

    Barack and Michelle are getting a little chubby.

    Between the ears.

  • ||

    "...including engendering an eating disorder in their own children ("Malia was getting a little chubby...") because the only thing worse than being a bulimic is being a fat bulimic.

    And the only thing worse than that is your mom announcing it to the whole world.

  • ||

    MO is keeping all of the confiscated candy for herself!

  • CTGAl||

    I find it amusing that instead of honestly criticizing Michelle Obama's efforts to combat childhood obesity, critics resort to using alarmist words like "nanny," "nanny state," "socialism," "paternalism."

    So, the bottom line is that all they're doing is just calling names. It's all so childish. I don't know what's worse, the critics who throw these terms around because they don't have any better honest arguments, or the rubes who post comments to these posts who agree with them using even more pathetic arguments and name calling.

    I simply cannot get over the hysteria people work themselves into just because people are trying to change Americans bad eating habits.

    Oh, and BTW, if you did your research, you'd know that in addition to fruit, the goodie bags did contain Hershey's chocolate and Peeps.

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