Michelle Obama Replaces Easter Candy With Hand-Washing Stations; Solidifies Position as Nation's Leading Noodge
First they came for our disposable income to pay for the TARP and auto company bailouts. Then they came for our healthcare dollars, to pay for a deficit-neutral plan to blow out the budget. And now they've come for our Cadbury eggs and Hershey chocolate rabbits and Reese's peanut-butter eggs. In its place will be "pre-screened fruit," whatever the hell that is.
Michelle Obama took the candy out of Easter and replaced it with fruit, exercise and public hand-washing stations.
Peeps, jellybeans and chocolate bunnies were nowhere to be found at the White House's Easter Egg Roll. Every goodie bag was stuffed with pre-screened fruit, and the grounds were filled with exercise stations hosted by Olympic athletes, Washington Redskins and Baltimore Ravens players. The South Lawn was transformed into a playground as part of the first lady's pledge to fight childhood obesity.
Like most obesity eliminationists, Barack and Michelle Obama are willing to fight fat on the beaches, in the lunch rooms, and dining rooms, anywhere and whatever the cost may be, including engendering an eating disorder in their own children ("Malia was getting a little chubby…") because the only thing worse than being a bulimic is being a fat bulimic.
Recently, Reason.tv made the case against Brit celeb chef Jamie Oliver's intervention into school lunches in the fattest town in the old colonies.
