Reason.tv: Nanny of the Month for March 2010 is Salt-Banning NY State Rep. Felix Ortiz!

Last month Reason.tv highlighted the heartland pol who's waging a very real war on fake pot, but who will be this month's top nanny?

There are the New Jersey cops who wouldn't tolerate a naked snowwoman and Pennsylvania state troopers' armed crackdown on unlicensed beer.

But the Nanny of the Month goes to the Empire State politician who wants to ban salt from New York restaurants and dole out $1,000 fines to any rogue chefs who dare to sneak a sprinkle of the white stuff on their meals.

Presenting Reason.tv's Nanny of the Month for March 2010: New York State Rep. Felix Ortiz!

"Nanny of the Month" is written and produced by Ted Balaker. Associate Producer is Alex Manning. Animation by Meredith Bragg.

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  • OMG||

    You can have my salt shaker when you pry it from my cold dead hands.

  • Parker||

    If salt is outlawed, only outlaws will have salt.

    And they'll be the only ones with bread and other baked goods, too.

  • NaCl Overlords||

    Fools! Do you not see what is front of you???

    The word salary is derived from salsus, Latin for salt.

    Roman soldiers were paid with salt in the advent of the professional army.

    Excessive amounts of salt are bad.

    Excessive salaries are bad.

    Rome became corrupt, therefore bad.

    It takes salaries to participate in monetary commerce.

    It takes salt to season food and beverages.

    The idea of a republic came from Rome.

    Salt is required to make delicious and unhealthy food.

    Salaries are required to start prosperous and discriminatory commerce.

    Rome showed prosperity lead to greed and dissolution.

    If salaries and republics are inherently bad and must be eliminated, then we must eliminate salt as it is the precursor.

    QED

  • Felix||

    Salt: The "nutrient" from HELL!

  • ||

    If this happens, I'm betting that some clever entrepreneur is going to buy an old hot-dog cart (or several), stock it with salt packets & shakers, and set up shop on sidewalks wherever there's a concentration of NYC restaurants.

    Doesn't help much when it comes to dishes which call for adding salt BEFORE cooking, but if somebody really wants a little salt on their scrambled eggs, I bet they will be willing to pay a little cash to a street vendor for some contraband table salt to bring in themselves.

    Has the world gone mad?

  • ||

    I'm sorry, but salt salesmen cannot ply their wares within 500 feet of a restaurant.

  • ||

    The ban would only prevent it from being used in prep and cooking (where it matters most for um, making things), and would not have prevented it from being on tables for consumers to add Bloombergian amounts once the plate lands in front of them.

  • NaCl Overlords||

    It is for your own good, impudent dissenter.

    We haven't quite figured out how to eliminate Kosher salt from the Joos' religious food preparation.

    Perhaps if we apply the calculus to a certain religion....

  • jpocali||

    It always starts with salt, but then they move on to harder things like allspice and lemon zest. Say does Mrs. Dash have a lobbyist?

  • Jimmy 'Crack' Corn||

    +1

  • The Libertarian Guy||

    More overreaching by Democrats. And they wonder why people don't like them.

  • Jordan||

    How long until salt cartels spring up?

  • ||

    If I were a bad person, I would have some thought of an ironic fate for Ortiz, complete with a large vat of salt and an unsafe catwalk at an unsupervised facility. Or perhaps being chased endlessly by poor salt farmers, even more impoverished by reduced demand for salt as a result of the ban, on a very hot and muggy day.

    If I were a bad person, I might have these thoughts.

  • John Ixknoxapidorngerbergen||

    The salts are not good for us, so I fail to see the problem here. I assume there will be exceptions for food what cant be made without no salts, like bread.

  • GILMORE||

    dont forget ortiz was also the champion of the NYT soda tax

  • GILMORE||

    excuse me, NYS soda tax

  • GILMORE||

    freudian slip

  • barfman||

    *barf*

  • Jeffersonian||

    Yet more mealy-mouthed apologies from the Reason gang for Big Salt. We need to get these sodium chloride kingpins behind bars.

  • the sheep's vote||

    Is it illegal to self-pimp?

    A state assemblyman – let’s call him Félix Ortiz (D-Brooklyn) – sponsors a bill that effectively bans the most important ingredient in New York restaurants. The legislation applies to “the use [of] salt in any form in the preparation of any food.” Rogue restaurateurs are subject to $1,000 fines for each granular violation. It’s unclear at the time whether the assemblyman proposed the bill because he loves UK food or UK health care.

    Six other unintended consequences of Obamacare here.

  • Jeffersonian||

    I was going to tell Ortiz to suck me, but given the salt content of my semen, I'd likely be in line for a $1000 fine if he swallowed.

  • Will||

    LOL.

  • ||

    Brilliant

  • ||

    I'm so glad we as a nation are lucky enough to have such honest and intelligent leaders looking out for us. God Bless Mr. Ortiz.

    Don't make me put a sarc tag on this, it should be obvious.

  • ||

    Why does Felix hate food?

    I guess his mom only fed him boiled dinners as a kid.

  • Nanny Agency||

    The whole point of the authorities acting tough over small things is to disguise their complete impotence regarding anything actually important. No more, no less.

    BB

  • ||

    Send the nannies to forced labor before they do it to us!

    In the salt mines, naturally.

  • ||

    JUST WHAT IS A "FELIXORTIZ"...IS THAT LIKE A HEMERROID OR A SUPPOSITORY??

  • ||

    YA GOTTA LOVE THOSE IRREPRESSIBLE HISPANIC MALES.
    THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING......JUST ASK THEIR MAMA'S WHO SPOILED THEM.

  • ||

    I am so glad the NY legislature is taking time to look into this critical situation. It has been the unspoken shame of our nation for too, too many years. I mean, how can Americans even look any other nation in the eye when they know that we have been using table salt?! I feel ugly even talking about it. Large fines aren't enough - anyone, even a child, who uses the slightest bit of table salt should be publically whipped until they become unconscious.

    I commend the incredible courage and wisdom of Representative Ortiz, by his diverting the government's time and attention away from trivial things like the impending insolvencies of both NY City and NY state, as well as soaring crime, government corruption, rising teen pregnancies, and collapsing school systems. Yes, table salt is what we should be focusing on. Salt, and nothing else!

  • Scarpe Nike||

    is good

  • xiaoyang||

    Beer and wine kisumu 2 possess a small amount of methyl alcohol, also known as fuel line antifreeze along with cook oven fuel. It is just a harmless quantity in ale and wine beverage but when distilled atmbt sapatu the wrong temp a dangerous amount of methyl alchol can be done.

  • sd||

    sd

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