What Laws Will Maria Shriver Break Next Year?

Score one for California Gov. Schwarzenegger for having a sense of humor, anyway.

After TMZ caught first lady Maria Shriver violating the Schwarzenegger-signed law against talking on a cell-phone handset while driving, the Austrian Oak Tweeted: "Thanks for bringing her violations to my attention, @harveylevintmz. There's going to be swift action." WCBS TV asked the crucial follow-up:

Schwarzenegger spokesman Aaron McLear says that by "swift action," the governor means he'll ask his wife not to hold the phone while driving.

The non-haha part of the story, aside from how it provides yet another example that nuisance laws are made to be followed primarily by people who look like criminals, is that Schwarzenegger this week, in the midst of his state's ongoing financial free-fall, signed still another round of largely idiotic laws. A surface-scratching list:

* An anti-paparrazi law making it "a crime to take and sell unauthorized photos of celebrities in 'personal or familial activity,' and also target[ing] media outlets that purchase those photos, with violators facing fines of up to $50,000."

* A law requiring gun sellers and ammunition dealers to create and maintain a registry of all paying customers.

* A law requiring DUI convicts in four counties to install ignition-interlock breathalyzer devices on their cars.

* The Dogfighting Prevention Act, which "will substantially increase the penalties for spectators caught attending a dogfighting event to up to one year in jail and a $5,000 fine."

* A law prohibiting health insurance company from charging more for women than men.

* A law increasing the penalties for illegal fishing and poaching to "at least $5,000 and as much as $40,000 with a year in county jail."

* A law increasing by tenfold the fines for improperly using disabled placards to park in those sweet blue spots.

* A law allowing football's San Francisco 49ers to ignore the requirement that they solicit competitive construction bids for their new stadium.

* The Donda West law, making "health checks and a written clearance mandatory before being allowed to undergo plastic surgery in the state of California."

* A law reinforcing existing regulations that school buses "turn off idling engines within 100 feet of a school."

* A law creating a new "sustainable" label for seafood, contingent on fishing practices.

* A law that "increases penalties for charter bus operators who fail to comply with safety and licensing regulations."

* A law doubling the penalty for boat-abandonment.

I could go on all day–there are hundreds of the things.

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  • ||

    The truly surprising part of the story is that Maria isn't being chauffeured around in a bulletproof Hummer by the CHP.


    Remind me again, of the difference between "laws" and magical incantations.

  • PJ Doland||

    I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that she actually drives herself.

  • SIV||

    * A law prohibiting health insurance company from charging more for women than men.

    WTF?
    What's next? A law prohibiting life insurance companies for charging the dead more than the living?Pre-existing condition you know.

  • Slutmonkey||

    YEAH! I want to buy life insurance on my dead grandpa. It's not fair that I can't just because he has a pre-existing condition!

  • Amy Alkon||

    Regarding the anti-pap law, I know Arnold didn't grow up in this country, but surely news has spread of the First Amendment.

  • prolefeed||

    It apparently hasn't been widely read by most politicians -- or, more accurately, read and taken to heart.

  • prolefeed||

    I'm OK with the law requiring DUI convicts to install breathalyzer interlocks. Yeah, yeah, the DUI threshhold is generally too low, but we're still talking about a lot of people who have been convicted of putting other people at substantially increased risk of dying or being injured.

    The rest of the laws, though -- meh. Total nanny state BS.

  • ||

    That one, plus the one about disabled parking. It's gotten totally out of hand. Some areas of San Francisco have 3/4 of the parking meters filled all day with the cars of the supposedly disabled.

  • ||

    "Regarding the anti-pap law, I know Arnold didn't grow up in this country, but surely news has spread of the First Amendment."

    The way to combat undesirable speech is with more speech. As such, the Film Actor's Guild should hire a roving band of camera thugs to harass known paparazzi. When they wake up in the morning to go harass celebrities, there are ten people taking pictures of them in embarrassing situations, then the pics are posted on the internet (photoshopped of course).

    Of course, the easier way to deal with the problem is to pass a law exempting confrontations with paparazzi from assault and battery laws. I think they tried that before with flag burning, i.e., if you see somebody burning a flag, you can beat the hell out of them without fear of prosecution.

  • ||

    The Donda West law, making "health checks and a written clearance mandatory before being allowed to undergo plastic surgery in the state of California."

    Hmmmm, lots of plastic surgeons are gonna be really pissed about that one. Someone who can afford plastic surgery but wants it quickly can just skip across the state lines and have it done elsewhere.

    Wonder if they said that one was "for the children"

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Fuck California. Beautiful state, retarded assholes living in it. They're pretty much on the top of my list of states that suck that I won't ever visit or spend money in again.

  • ||

    Have you heard the song "California on my Mind" by Wild Light? Something tells me you'd like it.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Reminds me of Aenima, sort of.

  • ||

    Learn to swim, see you down in Arizona Bay.

  • Wicks Cherrycoke||

    Boat abandonment? That's a pressing issue?

  • ev||

    I second the boat-abandonment WTF. Isn't finding a boat kind of awesome? Who complains about a free boat?!?

  • ||

    It seems that with the economic downturn, some boat owners can't afford to keep their boats anymore, and can't find buyers for them.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    The second best day of your life is buying a boat. The best day is getting rid of it. Or something like that. I'll take a free boat.

  • Rhywun||

    That's an issue here in NYC too, believe it or not. We spend a lot of money pulling abandoned boats out of Jamaica Bay.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Until they rot long enough to become "underwater refuges". Then it becomes illegal to remove the boat.

    http://www.bing.com/maps/defau.....;encType=1

    http://www.bing.com/maps/defau.....;encType=1

    Staten Island. New York's garbage dump.

  • MS||

    Is there a law that states auto insurance companies can't charge men more than women? If not I claim a 14th amendment violation assuming they say the health insurnace gender price fixing is legal.

  • ||

    Holy Hesus. Women, being, you know, the child-bearing sex, are more likely to consume health care, aren't they? I mean, if two strangers who have insurance get together after a night of drinking and dancing, and the women ends up pregnant, its not the guy's insurance that's going to pay it. Right?

    And Boat Abandonment?

  • ||

    Sexist!

  • Slutmonkey||

    It's not just about child bearing, although that's certainly a factor. Women are more likely to get healthcare for the same (unknown?) reasons women are more likely to stop and ask for directions. Men tend to 'tough out' illness a lot more.

  • ||

    Wouldn't boat adandonment be covered under the existing dumping laws? Or are they talking about not doing proper upkeep on it?

    The Pap one is just insane.

  • Atanarjuat||

    Women, being, you know, the child-bearing sex, are more likely to consume health care, aren't they?

    Yep, I'm pretty sure the only goal of that law is to force men with insurance to subsidize childbirth.

  • Don||

    Women are healthier and consequently live longer than men.

    The reason women pay more for health insurance is because of childbirth.

    The reason men pay more than women for life and auto insurance is because men live shorter lives and have more auto accidents.

    I. of course, believe Montana homeowners should be required to have hurricane insurance and pay the same rates as New Orleans homeowners.
    Don

  • Ray Nagin||

    Sounds fair to me.

  • ||

    Poor 3rd ammenadment. He's got to feel left out as Arnold and his Dem-Friends violate no.s 1, 2, 4 and 5.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    I don't see how the paparazzi law is constitutional. It is legal to photograph anything visible from public property or private property you have permission to be on. Unacceptable things are like climbing over a high fence or looking through a window with closed curtains, considered a reasonable expectation of privacy.

  • ||

    Wouldn't the paparazzi law have prevented Shriver from getting caught in the first place? Hmm....I think Shriver is planning on getting un-cleared plastic surgery on an abandoned boat called "Vick's Surprise" moored in a handicap zone full of endangered fish after these pass.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Damn, I could rant like that on all the laws. The stadium thing would make sense... if it weren't publicly subsidized.

  • Atanarjuat||

    Boat abandonment is when you don't feel like fixing your boat so you anchor it somewhere, as opposed to letting it decay on a trailer in your yard. It should probably have a penalty because in the event of a hurricane* it could do some damage to someone else's property. Around here they eventually sink and turn into an oyster reef.

    It looks like a common theme in these new laws is increasing fines for random things. I'd guess that's a lame, statist attempt to balance their budget without cutting spending.

    *I assume there are bad storms on the California coast as well.

  • Slutmonkey||

    If by 'bad storm' you mean that there are a couple of small clouds that dim the sun for a minute or two during breakfast, then yes.

  • Spartacus||

    "Thanks for bringing her violations to my attention, @harveylevintmz. There's going to be swift action."

    You must spank her! Spank her soundly!

  • Abdul||

    2 comments:

    "Consida This a Dahvorce. . . Oh, I did not register this fireahm. Nevermind."

    And, you can take Maria out of the Kennedy compound, but you can't take the Kennedy out of maria.

  • Kolohe||

    The boat abandonment and poaching laws aren't bad, with tragedy of the commons and all.

  • ||

    Why on God's green earth do politician think they have to DO stuff. Invariably, everything they do makes the world a more intolerable place, but they go on DOING stuff. I live in the biggest shithole of a state in the country - NY, but CA is hot on it's heels. I think with enough government activism politicians may well be able to achieve their apparent true goal - to make existence itself unbearable.

  • ||

    Because promissing to "do something" gets votes. The vast majority of people do not want to take responsibility for their own situation and want someone else to carry the can for them.

  • ||

    A law requiring gun sellers and ammunition dealers to create and maintain a registry of all paying customers.

    If I give them a bum cheque, do I still have to go in the registry?

  • Isaac Bartram||

    * A law allowing football's San Francisco 49ers to ignore the requirement that they solicit competitive construction bids for their new stadium.

    Will someone explain to me what business it is of the city how a private concern chooses to manage the construction of a facility it plans to use.

    Now I can understand this if this is a publicly financed stadium and all but in that case why is the team getting to oversee construction at all.

    From the FTA:

    The bill, authored by state Sen. Elaine Alquist (D-Santa Clara), lets the National Football League team bypass the city’s requirement of a competitive bid requirement on construction projects.

    So let me get this straight if the city requires competitive bids on construction projects, does this mean if I lived in San Francisco I'd have to get competitive bids to put an extra bedroom on my house?

    I've been in construction and engineering for over forty years and one thing I've learned is that competitive bids are sometimes the last thing you want if you want a project completed on budget and in a timely fashion.

  • @||

    he'll ask his wife not to hold the phone while driving

    Because being a Shriver is punishment enough.

  • Paul||

    I haven't read every post here, but wouldn't this picture be illegal under the anti-pap law?

  • ||

    silly rabbit, nannystate laws are for little people

  • ||

    I'm actually really in favor of the school bus idling law. School buses are generally really old and run on diesel, meaning that the local air pollution effects are substantial. I've seen a study on this that shows decreases in respiratory diseases among schoolchildren from installing catalytic converters on buses that give benefits 20 times the costs.

  • ||

    California, there I WAS! (not "here I come") When I retired 4 years ago I fled that cesspool and if there was'nt still family members living there I'd never set foot in that looney bin again.

    That list of reciently passed laws is one example of why I left and dont miss Caliscrewya.

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