Nobel WTF?

My wife woke me with the ridiculous news that Barack Obama, who has been in office for eight months and achieved no notable peace, won the Nobel Peace Prize.

"Seriously, what has he done?" I asked.

"He gives hope to people, just by being!" she said. It was a joke, but I see that that's indeed part of the Nobel Committee's reasoning:

"Very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future," the committee said in a citation.

Among many other things, this selection illustrates the United States' way-too-oversized role in the world's imagination. And it shows how people–almost touchingly–remain suckers for likeable politicians who replace guys they hated, investing in them a kind of faith mere mortals usually don't merit. As Chili Davis famously (and presciently) said about Dwight Gooden, "He ain't God, man."

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  • Slap the Enlightened!||

    So - does anyone else think Affirmative Action has finally gotten out of hand?

  • Jozef||

    Why does anyone still pay attention to the Nobel for Peace? Having been awarded to the likes of Arafat and Gore, I wouldn't be surprised if it was given to Chavez next year. And I wouldn't give a damn...

  • Thom||

    Exactly. It's just a lefty politician of the year prize at this point.

  • ||

    yes, exhibit A: Kessinger.

  • Russ 2000||

    Kessinger was a decent shortstop but couldn't worth a lick. He really didn't deserve any prizes.

  • ||

    This is a cult of personality. Or it is real patronizing racism. "Oh a black man got elected President, isn't that special". I don't know what to say or think other than they might as well throw the prize in the toilet.

  • ||

    i think you may be right. This is either just part of the c.o.p. or this is serious racism. The idea that a black man who has been elected president has to be treated like a slow kid that tied his shoe is deeply insulting

  • ||

    I think it's time for a new Alfred Nobel Memorial Prize for Fuck-All.

    -jcr

  • Sam Grove||

    Let's give an Alfred E Neuman prize to the Nobel committee.

  • Hugh Akston||

    Like the Academy Awards, its hard to take this kind of nauseating back-slapping seriously. For every Norman Borlaug who wins, there's a Henry Kissinger. For every Muhammad Yunus, there's a Barack Obama.

  • ||

    Hey, Barry endured great personal risk to give us all this hope! Why, he coulda got a paper cut! Or eyestrain from the teleprompters! So much more than the other nominees, some of whom probably risked nothing more than their lives or being jailed by their tyrant government.

  • ||

    It would surprising and I would have been bothered by this, but honestly I came to the realization long ago that the Nobel Prize committee are nothing but a bunch of star-f***ers.

  • ||

  • shecky||

    Kudos to the Nobel committee for having found a way to piss off both The Republican Party and the Taliban in one fell swoop.

  • ||

    Shecky- I thought the exact same thing.

  • ||

    Shecky- I thought the exact same thing.

  • ||

    Shecky- I thought the exact same thing.

  • ||

    Shecky- I thought the exact same thing.

  • ||

    But I only thought it once, not four times.

    #%*^{ iPhone.

  • JB||

    Kudos, alright. For showing the emperor has no clothes.

    It no longer matters what the rest of world says on anything. They are a bunch of retarded fools. Fuck the rest of the world.

  • ||

    Fuck the rest of the world.

    That's what BushCo and the rest of the neo-con right has been saying for the last 10 years....hence this award....

  • JB||

    Fuck the rest of the world. I'm tired of subsidizing their health care and their defense.

    US should pull out of NATO now.

  • mark||

    Please explain. The Taliban should be happy about this, as it prevents Obama from committing more troops to Afghanistan, so soon after winning a Peace Prize.

  • The Wine Commonsewer (TWC)||

    Jesus Chrysler that's funny Sheck.

  • WTF indeed||

    The deadline for nominations for this year's Nobel Peace Prize was February 1.

    So that means that Obama's award was based on what he had accomplished through about the first ten days of his presidency.

  • Syd Henderson||

    No, it means his nomination was based on what he had accomplished through about the first ten days of his presidency.

  • ||

    This is actually really bad news for Obama. I wonder if Karl Rove is running the Nobel Committee these days. Everyone knows he doesn't deserve it. How does this do anything but highlight his short comings, reinforce the idea that his success is based on a cult of personality, and make people resentful at Obama as someone who has attained success he doesn't deserve? I can't imagine that Axelrod and Emmanuel look at this as a good thing. Of course while his handlers are crying in their chereos this morning, Obama is strutting around the Whitehouse and Michelle is spending the money.

  • Ska||

    It would be nice if everyone knows this is bullshit. I'll have to lurk some liberal blogs to see if the posters are shooting come all over each other.

    I'm betting they're so proud of their little guy.

  • ||

    I've checked out a few. It looks like the reactions are mixed. The comments on the NYT article seem to be about 60/40, for/against, if that's any indicator.

  • ||

    posters are shooting come all over each other.

    KOS and Huf are doing just that

  • ||

    I wonder if Karl Rove is running the Nobel Committee these days

    Well, it's the Norwegian Parliament that chooses the award, and Karl Rove is a well-known (to Norwegian-Americans) Norwegian-American.

    I think you've uncovered the vast kranse-kake conspiracy.

  • zoltan||

    In a composition class we were talking about sources for, say, a global warming paper. The professor asked if Al Gore would be a good source. I said no, as he is not a climatologist or even a scientist. She, and a few others, said he had one the Nobel Prize and was therefore a noted voice on the subject. Ugh.

  • Spartacus||

    Lyndon LaRouche is pretty famous, and he has a voice on the subject too. Plus, he claims to be a Democrat IIRC. Why not use him?

  • The Wine Commonsewer (TWC)||

    Because then we'll start hearing about him being a whacky libertarian again.

  • @||

    likeable politicians who replace guys they hated

    Precisely. He won it because he's not Bush.

  • tekende||

    Which is funny, because if we went by policy alone I would totally think Bush was still president.

  • ||

    Obama's award was based on what he had accomplished through about the first ten days of his presidency.

    Not exactly. The nomination was based on that, but the award was based on what he's done since.

    Coincidentally, both values are zero.

  • Attorney||

    Or it is real patronizing racism.

    I was thinking the same thing. Did he get the award because he's black, notwithstanding his lack of actual accomplishments?

  • Ska||

    There is a cartoon in one of the Spanish newspapers depicting Obama as a black dove with an olive fig.

  • ||

    You really just... have to love the Spaniards and their funny, unknowing racism.

  • ||

    Very well put, Solana. Such a class...Spaniards are so racists because they are the "less" whites in Europe. They're mixed with arabs and moors. And they hate it. They simply don't know History at all!

  • ||

    Olive fig?

  • Ska||

    Olive branch, olive fig, shit I hadn't drank any coffee yet!!

    Hadn't drunk!! Hadn't drunk! Damn you past perfect tense!

  • ||

    "Zimbabwean Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai, who had been tipped as a favorite for the prize, told Reuters that Obama was a deserving candidate and an "extraordinary example."

    Obama won the Nobel peace prize and it has been endorsed by the Mugabi regime. The world has gone insane.

  • ||

    Tsvangirai is the guy who ran against Mugabe in the recent election, dumbass.

  • ||

    And John hunts in vain for the "delete comment" button.

  • Joshua Holmes||

    You can prove anything with facts, man.

  • comrade||

    Mugabe is President, so John is technically right.

  • ||

    http://blogs.reuters.com/globa...../#comments

    You want to scare yourself, read the comments on the Reuters blog asking if he deserved it. There are a good number of people who seem to seriously believe he did. We are doomed.

  • ||

    I found out this morning. My initial reaction was bewilderment. Then I broke into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. I laughed, along with my roommate, for a good five minutes. I couldn't stop. Honest to god, could not stop. I thought, is this a nervous breakdown?

    But I'm fine now, so I guess it's just really, really funny.

  • Punk||

    He won because he closed Gitmo, ended the occupation in Iraq and has a solid plan to withdraw from Afghanistan. Oh wait...

    If "hope for a beter future" includes endless debt and interventionism, then we're already there.

    The Nobel fucktards lost me at Arafat. Don't know why anyone lends merit to that circle jerk of an "award".

  • P||

    Any list with Jimmy Carter and Yasser Arafat on it, you kinda knew he was going to end up on anyway.

  • ||

    If hope was in the criteria for the prize, I think Ron Jeremy is the clear winner.

  • ||

    Ron brought joy and release to millions.

  • ||

    Ron gave us fat hairy ugly bastards a great deal of hope.

  • ||

    And Ron Jremy has actually accomplished something.

  • Yoda||

    "his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples"

    There is no "try"; there is only "do".

  • ||

    Just to put this in perspective, when my wife told me about this this morning, I laughed. I thought she was kidding.

    Who submitted the nomination, I wonder? Before the guy had even taken the plastic seal off of the White House toilet?

  • ||

    I think we've all underestimated the hysterical obsession that many left-leaning folk have with Obama; and we already call it an hysterical obsession, so that's saying something.

  • Johnny Longtorso||

    If you dare:

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/.....eace-Prize

    conservative radio station and laugh at them this morning.

    Their heads were exploding. It was great!!!!!

    They were talking about how great Reagan was still!

    Good for President Obama. I don't think the time was right yet, but if it helps him acheive more peace than yay!

    --

    They see the Nobel as a "librul" award anyways - that's how they rationalize Al Gore winning it without their heads exploding.

    What a small, simple world they live in...

    ---

    that in recent years only Democrats seem to get Peace Prizes? Could it have anything to do with the way they behave? On second thought, the Peace Prize comes out of Europe, what do they care what a bunch of socialists think...

  • Dr. Henry Killinger||

    Forgive me, but please explain what Obama has done to deserve this, you silly billy.

  • ||

    Interesting that comment mentioned Reagan. I was no fan of his, but he did a lot more for peace & disarmament than anybody.

  • PR||

    the money belongs to the u.s. treasury since he's a sitting a president and the department of defense will get their cut.

  • Robert||

    So, the prez needs a sitter? Racist! Ageist!

  • Afghanistan Bananastan||

    Now Obama can prove to the world how peaceful he really is by abandoning Afghanistan and leaving it to the murderous, medieval Taliban! Everybody wins! Except the women!

  • zoltan||

    By your logic we should invade Thailand, Eastern Europe, all of Africa, and parts of Micronesia because women get treated like shit there too.

  • Kolohe||

    In my day, I treated the women of Thailand and Micronesia very well, thankyouverymuch

  • ||

    I always left a generous tip on the nightstand in the morning too.

  • ||

    You stayed til morning?

  • ||

    By your logic we would first have to invade Thialand, Eastern Europe, all of Africa, and parts of Micronesia.

    We didn't invade Afghanistan because some religious nuts treat their woman worse than cattle. It had something to do with the country being allowed to be used as a base of operations for those that would attack the civilized world (and especially us).

  • ||

    Sounds good.

    Hollywood, too.

  • ||

    I don't buy into it, but I've heard people say that Obama won as an acknowledgment of America's shift away from neocon foreign policy. Meh.

  • Bingo||

    After committing another 40,000 troops to Afghanistan? Uh, yeah. Okay.

  • ||

    Obama won as an acknowledgment of America's rhetorical shift away from neocon foreign policy.

    Fixed

  • ||

    Good catch.

  • mark||

    I think Axelrod and Blagojevich bought it for BO. It's a fucking valuable thing, you can't just give it away for nothing, after all.

  • ||

    Johnny,

    Are you kidding? No way, no how, that ANYONE can say he's done ANYTHING AT ALL to even be worthy of nomination for the prize. Jesus, by the logic used here, any president is qualified simply by taking office. That's all he did to "get" nominated.

    Just for the record, Mohandis K. Gandhi--some Indian lawyer--got nominated five times but never won.

  • ||

    Wasn't he just quoting the crazies from Kos?

  • ||

    Gandhi's dead, dude.

  • ||

    Huh?

  • ||

    Pro Lib, my wife gets angry with me because I scream and curse at the teevee all the time. When I heard this, I was speechless. As an Obama supporter, I couldn't come up with a single thing he has done to deserve it.

    I am dumbfounded. I can't, in my own really screwed up little mind, talk myself into justifying this award.

  • Dr. Henry Killinger||

    It's sic semper tyrannis. You said, 'always faithful terrible lizard.'

  • Boatswain||

    sic semper tyrannosaurus?

  • aoi||

    GOSH, Nobel prize just lost my respect! They might as well give the price to jesus.

  • mark||

    You can't put a price on jesus.

  • Mad Max||

    30 sp, if I recall.

  • Judas||

    hahahaha

  • @||

    Now I know how Milli Vanilli felt.

  • rst||

    The world, too, is enamored with this personality cult. It would be sad, if the Nobel Peace Prize actually meant anything.

  • ||

    How long 'til the Presidential Suit sets up a big tent on the White House lawn, so he can hold revival meetings? Faith healing is pretty much the next step, isn't it?

  • ||

    Look, I'm not even viewing this as another reason to bash Obama. It's just stupid of the committee. Giving Obama the benefit of the doubt for not having had anything to do with his nomination, he doesn't have any choice but to accept. To refuse it would be insulting to the committee and might imply that he doesn't see himself as "peaceful", right? However, if he's not a megalomaniac, he'll have to note in his acceptance speech that he hasn't really done anything to deserve it but will work to prove worthy, yada, yada, yada.

    It's still bullshit, either way, and if you're a supporter and are thinking about defending this, you're an idiot. Want credibility? Then don't try to defend the indefensible.

  • MP||

    They deserve to be insulted.

  • ||

    I agree, but Obama and his ilk won't be willing to do that.

    I swear to God that if I were president and got the damned prize for doing nothing, I'd accept it, lift it over my head, and say, "This is for Gandhi." Then I'd ship it to the Indian PM.

  • Kolohe||

    That's actually a pretty awesome idea.

  • ||

    What Kolohe said.

  • ||

    It would be better if he lifted it over his head, shouted "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!" and threw it at the ground. Then glanced around and said "what, that's not how it works?"

  • ||

    Well, then, I give my idea to the president. If he does that, I'll insult him one less time a week. I promise.

  • Xeones||

    joe will be in here any minute to absolutely PROVE to all us Doubting Thomases that his messiah deserves this, right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right?

  • ||

    I'm actually pretty excited for Tony's reaction.

  • ||

    I sure he'll go find a giant black guy to fuck his ass to prolapse by way of celebration.

    We all agree Tony's a twink, right?

  • ||

    I've always pictured him in his forties, slightly overweight with an Obama 08' baseball cap.

  • ||

    His last LiveJournal update a couple of years ago talked about his 22nd (?) birthday.

  • ||

    Yeah, he's gotta be in his 20s. The naivete makes that pretty clear.

  • ||

    Link, please.

  • Arafat from the grave||

    I stand in solidarity with Al Gore, this selection cheapens this award.

    Jimmy Carter told me the same.

  • The Man||

    Res ipsa loquitur.

  • ||

    I wonder what the awards ceremony will be like. Will the Nobel committee all get up and do the "Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama" song?

  • ||

    I was just checking my e-mail and saw the oddest news. Marge Simpson is posing nude in Playboy next month.

  • ||

    But will her pubic hair be blue?

    Remember, she dyes her hair. "Marge has been as gray as a mule since she was 17."

  • @||

    It's been done.

    NSFW

  • PantsFan||

    They don't have pubic hair in Playboy anymore. What is this, 1986?

  • ||

    @,

    Is Lisa going down on her in that image, or is Marge's ass a Stegosaurus for some reason?

  • John Tagliaferro||

    Now I know I am not going near that link. Even from home.

  • @||

    It's Lisa! That's the subtle genius of that drawing.

  • ||

    TMZ is reporting lingerie only.

  • Robert||

    Of course she'll be in Playboy -- under her disguise she's a bunny.

  • Bingo||

    I'm still flabbergasted that this isn't an article from The Onion and it actually happened.

  • John Tagliaferro||

    Truth can be stranger than Onion.

  • JB||

    Maybe the Chinese were onto something when they started reading The Onion for news.

  • MJ||

    The Onnion needs to shut down until 2013, the truth is getting stupider than even their mighty powers of satire can outdo.

  • ||

    Before anyone else does it I plan to announce that I will cure cancer next year. That should get me the Nobel Prize for medicine.

  • Mike Laursen||

    Giving Obama the benefit of the doubt for not having had anything to do with his nomination, he doesn't have any choice but to accept. To refuse it would be insulting to the committee and might imply that he doesn't see himself as "peaceful", right?

    Nah, if he had any integrity, he would refuse all humbly and respectfully. And they'd still be in love with him; maybe offer him two Nobels next year.

  • ||

    Alfred E. Neuman Award.

  • Shaxpeer||

    From Nobelprize.org:
    "The Committee has attached special importance to Obama's vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons."

    Is this award what he gets for backing down on the missile defense shield in Eastern Europe?

  • WWJGD||

    Does anyone really believe a world without nuclear weapons is even possible anymore? It's like discovering the most delicious cake recipe ever and then banning it for fear of everyone eating it all the time and getting fat and sick.

  • Richard Harris||

    Someone left the cake out in the rain
    I don't think that I can take it
    'Cause it took so long to bake it
    And I'll never have that recipe again
    Oh, no!

  • Reality||

    Well, humanity will very likely lay down its nuclear arms at some point. Of course, people will be doing so in order to upgrade to anti-matter bombs, but you don't win everything.

  • ||

    Last I counted, we still had thousands of nukes.

  • mark||

    See but those are physical nuclear bombs. You're totally ignoring the imaginary bombs, dismantled by a future imaginary Obama, in the heads of Nobel Committee members. Oh yeah and there's a unicorn.

  • ||

    I'm with Mike; he can and should respectfully and humbly decline. Of course, respectful and humble aren't in his rather limited vocabulary (along with legalization, if you recall), so I will be shocked if he does.

    The Noble crew have really done him a disservice here, on two fronts. Domestically, the reaction from all but the most hardened Obamanauts will be "WTF?". Worse, perhaps, is that this will deepend his already pathological narcissism and megalomania, leading him into even further erros.

  • ||

    "Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?" --Sideshow Bob

  • GT||

    hahaha. forgot about that one.

  • Schmee||

    Don't mix the "Peace" prize with the real Nobel Prize it's for the Norwegian Star fuckers to decide.
    The Medicine, Physics, Chemistry and Literature prize are the only real prizes.The Economy Prize fall in the same category as the peace prize.

  • ||

    Screw these threaded comments. I'm repeating my earlier, lost comment:

    I agree, but Obama and his ilk won't be willing to do that.

    I swear to God that if I were president and got the damned prize for doing nothing, I'd accept it, lift it over my head, and say, "This is for Gandhi." Then I'd ship it to the Indian PM.
  • Kolohe||

    It's up there, it's an genuinely awesome idea.

  • ||

    What Kolohe said.

  • ||

    Godforsaken threaded comments. Anyway, I made the comment into an Urkobold post. Maybe Obama will read it and do the right thing.

  • ||

    Don't you all realize this is for all the community organizing he did in Chicago. You see now all the inner city kids get along and there is no more violence. He is also going to donate all the winnings to ACORN.

    I think they need to give the guy that invented the time machine that took me back to April 1st this morning while simulataneously hijacking my browser and directing my homepage to the Onion. That Guy needs a prize!

    I think had I been the cop that went for the beer I would have requested Modelo Negro as my choice just to see their reactions lol.

  • ||

    fun fact: the nobel peace prize nomination cut-off is February 3rd. Obama would have been in office a total of 14 days by then.

  • ||

    Actually, it was Feb 1. He was actually in office 10 full days.

  • ||

    my bad, I went off wikipedia's entry which is great for laughs:

    "Compared with some other prizes, the Prize nomination and selection process is long and rigorous...These names are scrutinized and discussed by experts in their specific disciplines until only the winners remain. This slow and thorough process is arguably what gives the prize its importance"

    I heard his vote was unanimous too.

  • ||

    1/10th of the time he was a Senator Roughly in which time he also accomplished ZIPPO. So you can be POTUS after 147 days as Senator and win a Nobel after a mere 14 days oh Hoping.

    Something tells me Albert Nobel did not have this in mind. I bet much like our founding fathers and any other thing that the orignator dies and can no longer say that is not what I meant. The Nobel folks are just another of a long line to put their own spin on shit making it all pointless and diminishes the award. Obama should get a Academy Award if anything.

  • IJ||

    The Nobel just turn into the Academy Awards. Giving the prices based on only Gods knows what criterion.

  • ||

    The comment about criterion was always true. Who here followed all the prizes and understood why they were awarded? Getting worked up about this is telling.

  • ||

    Up next an Oscar for his coronation ceremony, a Grammy for the audio version of his ghost written books, and an Emmy for his appearance on Letterman.

  • ||

    I am curious as to who nominated him. That info is sealed for 50 years. I wish it would be leaked. It seems important to me for some reason. Former winners are eligible to make nominations. My money's on Carter.

  • ||

    My bet is on Al WhGore

  • smartass sob||

    Yeah, I could see that.

  • smartass sob||

    Carter, I meant. (damned threaded comments.)

  • ||

    brotherben,

    It was the Urkobold. He thought it would be funny.

  • ||

    heh: this is right up there with Marisa Tomei’s Oscar

  • Syd Henderson||

    Except Tomei deserved her Oscar.

  • ||

    He's becoming Jimmy Carter faster than Jimmy Carter did.

  • T||

    Okay, from the Swedes themselves:

    for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples

    I nominate Pons and Fleischmann for the Physics prize, because goshdarnit, they tried hard to get cold fusion to work. And they tried even harder to get people to believe they had. Surely that extraordinary effort deserves a reward?

  • ||

    *grabs microphone* Taylor Swift deserves this award, y'all! She ain't been callin me a jackass.

  • Kanye West||

    Yo Barack, I'm really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the most peaceful president of all time! OF ALL TIME!

  • Solanum||

    Kanye, do you enjoy eating fishsticks?

  • Michael||

    Obama should accept the award only if he commits to rocking the medal on a fat rope chain with a pair of Kazals for every televised SOTU address.

  • dave b. ||

    He and his predecessor are neck and neck to see who can best redefine the term 'failing upward'. His next accolade will be Time's Man of the Year.

  • KyleG||

    He was awarded Time's Person of the Year in 2008.

  • Kryten||

    The Nobel Peace Prize: the only joke that makes one cry.

  • ||

    Pro LIb, WTF is this URKOBOLD of which you speak?

  • ||

    Sorry, brotherben, but the Urkobold is too brilliant for introductions.

  • ||

    If that is the case, then I am not worthy.

  • Michael||

    Questions for all H&Rers;.....do you feel it is appropriate for the Nobel to be awarded to an acting head of state?

  • ||

    Obama's contribution to world peace? Continuing 99% of the war policies of his predecessor.

  • THE CAP GUY||

    Hey, all it takes is 1% improvement to win the hearts and minds of these guys

  • ||

    I don't have a problem with a head of state getting it if he's done something extraordinary to earn it. You know, like negotiate a peace settlement between two hostile parties or something along those lines.

  • ||

    What constitutes the 1% that is different?

  • WWJGD||

    It was probably for negotiating a settlement between Michelle and his girls over what dog to get.

  • Robert||

    When I heard on Glenn Beck this AM, I thought it was a lame gag they'd made up. Instead it was a lame gag the Nobel committee made up.

  • ||

    Causing Glenn Beck to shit out a small manatee almost makes it worth giving the prize to Obama.

  • ||

    The Nobel committee really does bring a whole new slant to Obama Derangement Syndrome

  • ||

    What constitutes the 1% that is different?

    Different nomenclature.

  • Ska||

    I thought it was because he's only half white.

  • Hacha Cha||

    HILARIOUS! they want to give Obama the nobel PEACE prize at the same time he wants to escalate the war in Afghanistan by sending 40,000 new troops.

  • ||

    Didn't the surge bring peace?

  • ||

    Those 40,000 extra troops are necessary to bring PEACE to the region?

  • ||

    The Nobel Committee was not unresponsive

  • WWJGD||

    It's official. War is peace.

  • Colin||

    +1 :)

  • creech||

    Maybe today is April 1st on the Viking's calendar??

  • Solanum||

    Oh shit, Drudge has just busted out the siren.gif...

  • ||

    As Paul rolled over to embrace Barry, their Nobel Prizes clanked together. "Prizes are mine," Paul murmured. He hiccuped and burped, the bleach reek of semen roiled forth. Reaching past Barry Paul could feel the cold buttocks of Ezra. He dully recalled that he and Barry fucked him to death sometime last night. He smiled at the memory and playfully slapped Ezra. Gases from his bloated corpse filled the room with purification. Barry grinned in his sleep.

    Paul grunted and strained himself out of bed. He kicked aside cutlery and broken china that had spilled off the overturn room service cart. A whimper from the the corner. A woman huddled in the fetal position, sobbing, a line of bruises marching along her ribs, barely visible in the gloom of the hotel room. Flashes of the previous night came back to him through the fog of cocaine and Presidential ballgargling. She was the whore the prize committee had sent up. The three of them had stripped her and Paul and Barry had held her over the service cart, trying to make Ezra fuck her. He could never get hard for a woman. They had beaten the whore, stuffed her cunt with geitost, and worked on Ezra instead. He had choked on vomit halfway through.

    Paul washed his balls in the bathroom sink and squatted on the toilet. He was so full of shit is was almost half an hour until he realized there was no toilet paper, not even the cardboard and fish scale kind Europeans preferred. He slipped the Nobel Prize from around his neck and scraped his anus clean. He dropped it in the sink; the whore could lick it clean later.

  • WWJGD||

    "Presidential ballgargling"

    This may be my new favorite phrase.

  • ||

    who is Ezra?

    you mean the scribe?

  • ||

    No, the Klein one.

  • Brian Lockwood||

    Wow, I think we know who will be getting the Nobel Prize in Literature next year.

  • tekende||

    Sweet fancy Moses.

  • JB||

    Talk about 'magic negro'. WTF is this? Is Obama now some sort of voodoo talisman?

    Nobel = Shit.

    After years of giving the award to terrorists (Arafat, the main father of terrorism as a legitimate tool) and clowns (Gore, Obama), the Nobel brand is now worth less than zero.

    Anyone who accepts any sort of Nobel prize from this point forward should be mocked and lose all respect.

  • ||

    I think this moves me into the "Maybe" column on the whole Anti-Christ thing.

  • JB||

    This very well could be a fulcrum point.

    Time to buy more guns and ammo.

  • Fluffy||

    The Arafat award could be justified as a nod to a person who after a lifetime of war was taking a stab at peace. Events proved that stab a failure, but it at least was an actual diplomatic event.

    Obama's policies are essentially indistinguishable from Bush's. All that is different is the speeches he gives while pursuing those policies. The Arafat and Kissinger awards look eminently sane and wise compared to this utter nonsense.

  • ||

    Maybe its a recognition that we're talking to Iran, Cuba, etc.

  • ||

    The prize lost all credibility on December 10, 1973.

  • Xeones||

    Goddammit, SugarFree, i was eating.

    Was.

  • ||

    Just think of me as your personal trainer.

  • ||

    The Arafat award could be justified as a nod to a person who after a lifetime of war was taking a stab at peace.

    I applaud your mental imagery here, Fluffy. Arafat chasing a dove around, trying to impale it on a knife. Perfect.

  • JB||

    I still think the US should have killed Arafat after 9/11. He did more than anyone to legitimize terrorism.

  • The Wine Commonsewer (TWC)||

    can't fault the logic in that

  • The Wine Commonsewer (TWC)||

    Ringo was still marginally more deserving than Obama. NOT that Ringo actually deserved the prize at all, but everything is relative (like incest).

    The rest of you, don't start. Nobody has ever seen Arafat and Ringo in the same room together at the same time.

  • ||

    Matt, I think this was incorrectly filed. Daily Brickbats is a different blog.

  • MWG||

    Great, so now when I get awarded the NPP, part of accepting it is gonna mean becoming a member of a club with the likes of Arafat, Carter, Gore, AND Obama!? Shit!

  • Corduroy Rocks||

    Predictions for the next recipient. Chime in with your own!

  • ||

    This award died when Gandhi didn't get it after being repeatedly nominated. Gandhi. The man who is probably in some dictionary's definition of "peace."

  • Daily Kos Commenter||

    He didn't really escalate as it was summer and our miniscule forces needed more support in the "high" season as the Taliban has spread in the mountain areas for years. With winter coming, he will have time to access the situation and hopefully begin a pull back and only concentrate on al Qaeda elements. Bush/Cheney had no plan and lost the support of the Afghans long ago with their corporate corruption and neglect of the people.

  • ||

    NEWSFLASH

    "I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments. But rather as an affirmation of American leadership. ... I will accept this award as a call to action."

  • The Wine Commonsewer (TWC)||

    Good, then I'll expect the troops home next week.

  • JB||

    Democrats now say that if you criticize Obama's Nobel you are a terrorist:

    http://hotair.com/archives/200.....errorists/

    I hope and pray that someone cuts off Brad Woodhouse's head in response.

  • ||

    I guess this makes me a racist terrorist.

  • ||

    Oh, and since Republicans are terrorists now, I suppose that means that BO will negotiate with them now on health care.

  • JB||

    Wow this makes me angry.

    A part of me says, "Ok then, I'm a terrorist. Time for fun."

  • Michael||

    This was just a double middle finger to Bush. It's still ridiculous, though.

  • BeesInTheBrain||

    Hmmm do they celebrate April Fools on a different day over there?

  • BeesInTheBrain||

    "I will accept this award as a call to action, a call for all nations to confront the challenges of the 21st century."
    Great now the Nobel committee is defining US foreign policy. Is there ANYONE he won't suck up to?

  • Mike Laursen||

    Serious question: If the Nobel committee had a clue, to whom should they have given the peace prize? Who has been out there actually doing something to promote peace lately?

  • tekende||

    ...Cindy Sheehan?

  • ||

    Mike,

    They don't publish the nominees, so we won't know who he went up against. I bet we could come up with a few hundred million names of people who've done more for peace than the president, though.

    Next year it'll go to bin Laden for not blowing anything up in the U.S. for nine years.

  • Tyler||

    He should have to share the prize with Bush. Without Bush, Obama never would have garnered the kind of overly-dramatic support he did.

  • jk||

    Can they have the Dalai Lama present the prize so the President has time to meet with him?

  • Ravac||

    win

  • ||

    I know I should make a more relevant comment but I just want to say that I love that Chili Davis quote. I read it in a baseball digest when I was 12 years old and still think about it sometimes. I'm glad someone else remembers it!

  • ||

    Hey, what was the explanation for Obama blowing off the Dalai Lama, anyway? Bush met with him. In fact, I believe Bush officially met with him.

  • Mebits||

    The Chinese Government hasn't given Obama his permission slip yet.

  • J.||

    If you say enough really stupid things long enough, some Europeans are bound to give you something.

  • Brian Lockwood||

    Worked for Hitler.

  • db||

    Can someone please explain to me how the head of state of a nation that is currently at war, invading (officially) two sovereign nations, can be awarded any sort of prize for "Peace?"

  • WOW||

    Chinese Human Rights Activist Hu Jia – imprisoned for campaigning for human rights in the PRC, not as worthy as Barack Hussein Obama.

    Wei Jingsheng, who spent 17 years in Chinese prisons for urging reforms of China’s communist system. — not as worthy as Barack Hussein Obama. (Not to mention the symbolic value of awarding a Chinese dissident on the 20th Anniversary of the Tianenmen Square Massacre.)

    Greg Mortenson, founder of the Central Asia Institute has built nearly 80 schools, especially for girls, in remote areas of northern Pakistan and Afghanistan over the past 15 years – not as worthy as Barack Hussein Obama.

    Prince Ghazi bin Muhammad, a philosophy professor in Jordan who risks his life by advocating interfaith dialogue between Jews and Muslims, also not as worthy as Barack Hussein Obama.

    Afghan human rights activist Sima Samar. She currently leads the Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission and serves as the U.N. special envoy to Darfur and is apparently also not as worthy as Barack Hussein Obama.

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  • Nick||

    Spot on! I'm still dizzy from this bs news.

    http://www.wastedcarbon.com/20.....prize-wtf/

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    hi,
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