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How to Succeed as an Ayn Rand Character: The Flow Chart
For Ayn Rand fans with no sense of humor, be warned, this is scurillous, totally unfair, and objectively anti-life. For Rand haters (and Rand fans with a sense of the ridiculous) prepare to enjoy Cracked.com's flow chart on "How to Succeed as an Ayn Rand Character."
[Hat tip: Wirkman Virkkala]
|7.17.09 @ 11:53AM|#
blocked as "tasteless" at work. That is a first, as it is nearly impossible to be more tasteless than my firm.
Tomcat1066|7.17.09 @ 11:58AM|#
domo: I get the same thing, so you're not alone.
Which sucks because I'd love to see it.
|7.17.09 @ 12:06PM|#
It's pretty funny. The flowchart is well done, but the article is generic "make fun of Rand" stuff. As a non-Randian, I have no problem with it, but the same rape jokes get boring after a while.
|7.17.09 @ 12:15PM|#
Episiarch,
No, the rape jokes are warranted. What irks me is when they make
cracks about her hating the poor, etc. They say the same things
about top hat-wearing libertarians, too.
|7.17.09 @ 12:20PM|#
I didn't say the rape jokes were unwarranted. I said they were rehashed. It's very difficult to mock Rand without making the same jokes over and over. Basically, every few months somebody comes out with a rearrangement of the same stuff. It would be nice to see something new, but I guess this area has been mined out.
|7.17.09 @ 12:20PM|#
Cracked: Mad as produced by
second-handers.
I keed, I keed!
(Arguably, that definition would fit all of Panic and all
the post-Kurtzman Mads, some of which were
hysterical.
Kevin
|7.17.09 @ 12:22PM|#
If they don't hit on what's commonly known, then the chart is
pointless. Except for Objectivists, I guess.
Now if someone more familiar with her work--like
Reason--had done this, I might be a little more critical
about it.
Bob|7.17.09 @ 12:23PM|#
Here's the chart rehosted on ImageShack for those of you with oppressive work environments: http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/4254/arflowchart2copy.png
DADIODADDY|7.17.09 @ 12:29PM|#
this thing must be truly wicked if it's blocked 2 differnt ways...I must know...
nom de plume|7.17.09 @ 12:32PM|#
Don't forget the 10 Least Successful Holiday Specials of All Time, she's in there!
|7.17.09 @ 12:35PM|#
Seen Moon, yet?
No. I haven't been overly excited about it; should I be? It's also
not playing anywhere convenient for me.
phalkor, I note you are linking to your twitter account. I kind of
want to set up a LoneDipshit twitter account.
<-->|7.17.09 @ 12:36PM|#
this thing must be truly wicked if it's blocked 2 differnt
ways
You'll like it if you're an angry adolescent or a Reason©
libertarian.
|7.17.09 @ 12:44PM|#
Episiarch,
I haven't seen it, but the word on the street is that it's very
good. The word is often wrong, so I'd like some confirmation.
|7.17.09 @ 12:46PM|#
People are telling me that The Hangover is fantastic too, and I'd bet serious money that it isn't. Most people have zero taste.
Rimfax|7.17.09 @ 12:47PM|#
Meh. They could've done much better. Hell, I could've done much better, but it still wouldn't be very funny.
Flex Nasty B.I.G.|7.17.09 @ 12:47PM|#
It's mildly amusing. It's not worth spending all day trying to circumvent your office firewall. Go do some work.
Warty|7.17.09 @ 12:57PM|#
Rothbard is another guy whose hero-worshipping cult I don't understand, but here: Mozart Was a Red.
|7.17.09 @ 1:05PM|#
One thing I like about Rand's characters is how subtle and multifaceted they are. I mean how can you tell if Dr. Slimy McParasite was a hero or a villain??
Space Fiend|7.17.09 @ 1:08PM|#
I quite like Ayn Rand, but still, it says a lot when every animal in Animal Farm has a better developed personality and inner conflict than any Rand character I can think of.
JB|7.17.09 @ 2:00PM|#
I love shit like that since it's just more evidence there are a bunch of stupid fucks in the world that deserve every bad thing that happens to them and more.
|7.17.09 @ 2:05PM|#
Don't forget the 10 Least Successful Holiday Specials of All
Time, she's in there!
That was pretty good. Liked the Star Trek one:
http://whatever.scalzi.com/2004/12/01/the-10-least-successful-holiday-specials-of-all-time/
The Lost Star Trek Christmas Episode: "A Most Illogical Holiday"
(1968)
Mr. Spock, with his pointy ears, is hailed as a messiah on a wintry world where elves toil for a mysterious master, revealed to be Santa just prior to the first commercial break. Santa, enraged, kills Ensign Jones and attacks the Enterprise in his sleigh. As Scotty works to keep the power flowing to the shields, Kirk and Bones infiltrate Santa's headquarters. With the help of the comely and lonely Mrs. Claus, Kirk is led to the heart of the workshop, where he learns the truth: Santa is himself a pawn to a master computer, whose initial program is based on an ancient book of children's Christmas tales. Kirk engages the master computer in a battle of wits, demanding the computer explain how it is physically possible for Santa to deliver gifts to all the children in the universe in a single night. The master computer, confronted with this computational anomaly, self-destructs; Santa, freed from mental enslavement, releases the elves and begins a new, democratic society. Back on the ship, Bones and Spock bicker about the meaning of Christmas, an argument which ends when Scotty appears on the bridge with egg nog made with Romulan Ale.
Filmed during the series' run, this episode was never shown on network television and was offered in syndication only once, in 1975. Star Trek fans hint the episode was later personally destroyed by Gene Roddenberry. Rumor suggests Harlan Ellison may have written the original script; asked about the episode at 1978's IgunaCon II science fiction convention, however, Ellison described the episode as "a quiescently glistening cherem of pus."
Special bonus TNG re-edit, cause it's a friday:
That Captain
Picard
JB|7.17.09 @ 2:06PM|#
Epi, Hangover is very funny. Don't go into it with huge
expectations though. Just very good situational comedy.
ProLib, Moon is solid. It is not an action movie and most would
consider it a 'slow' movie. Enjoyable if you like the moon, sci-fi,
ethics, acting.
|7.17.09 @ 2:14PM|#
Meh. They could've done much better. Hell, I could've done
much better, but it still wouldn't be very funny.
Moon, The Hangover, or the flowchart?
MNG|7.17.09 @ 2:20PM|#
Holy shit, I agree with JB on something.
Moon was very good, quite a relief from the many crappy movies I've
seen this year.
I thought the flow chart was picking low hanging fruit, but
funny.
Sam Grove|7.17.09 @ 2:50PM|#
Rand's characterizations were intentional in her novels.
She was attempting to illustrate objectivism via caricatures, hence
idealized heroes and outrageous villains. The point of
philosophical exposition is to clarify through contrast.
If you want nuanced character development, look elsewhere.
If you want a funny satire of Ayn Rand, the Simpson's did a pretty
good job.
|7.17.09 @ 2:58PM|#
Speaking of Moon, the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter took high resolution shots of several Apollo landing sites. Yeah, you can see the landers. And the tracks of the actors that faked the missions by going to the Moon.
Fluffy|7.17.09 @ 3:27PM|#
I quite like Ayn Rand, but still, it says a lot when every
animal in Animal Farm has a better developed personality and inner
conflict than any Rand character I can think of.
I actually think Peter Keating, across his entire arc, is quite
well done.
I also think Leo Kovalensky isn't bad, but we never really get
access to his interior life.
Gail Wynand also isn't bad, in a "Goodfellas arc, but for a Hearst
analogue" sort of way.
<-->|7.17.09 @ 5:16PM|#
Reason© libertarians don't seem to get the point of
romantic-school literature.
If you want real-life characters, just look outside. There they
are. Aren't they inspiring?
|7.17.09 @ 5:38PM|#
Humor? Not a characterization, but a misrepresentation on every
point. An embarassment to Reason and editors.
Reason's past repretation lends credence to such trash, in a
"sanction of the victim" manner. Especailly poor taste when Rand's
message is so urgently needed for today's culture and politics.
|7.17.09 @ 5:46PM|#
Interesting that this kind of thing may be building a certain
readership? Marking the irrelevance of Reason and its
readers?
Time for new editors?
<-->|7.17.09 @ 7:51PM|#
Standard Reason disclaimer:
Our editors hold diverse opinions and do not necessarily speak
for
Reason Magazine or the Reason Foundation.
(This used to be called a "cop-out.")
|7.17.09 @ 8:18PM|#
Atlas Shrugged was a fun belief reinforcement book. I liked it
despite its many flaws because I liked the basic argument, but it
was long and I don't plan to read it again for atleast a decade. I
still don't know if I'll read the Fountainhead again (and its been
atleast a decade since I read it the first time)
I chuckled a bit at the flowchart
engineer|7.17.09 @ 8:37PM|#
"She was attempting to illustrate objectivism via caricatures,
hence idealized heroes and outrageous villains."
I used to think Rand's villains were outrageous caricatures, too.
Then I heard Joe Biden speak. Now I think Rand's works were
prophetic.
|7.17.09 @ 9:16PM|#
space fiend-
...it says a lot when every animal in Animal Farm has a better
developed personality and inner conflict than any Rand character I
can think of.
Please describe the "inner conflict" or "developed personality" in
any character in "Animal Farm" besides Boxer.
(Other than "Molly" being an prescient depiction of John
Edwards...)
Howard MacKinnon|7.18.09 @ 11:58AM|#
I'm no dogmatic Objectivist for sure and I am certainly prepared to enjoy a good humoured look at Randian heroes but this certainly isn't it. Rand's views and the characters she uses to express them are totally misrepresented here and so the attempt at humour is just plain stupidity - didn't even evoke a smile.
TallDave|7.18.09 @ 10:23PM|#
BTW if you like Ayn Rand, you might enjoy Terry Goodkind. Similar philosophies, similarly longwinded.
|7.19.09 @ 1:04PM|#
I'm pretty sure that I'm a libertarian, except for the fact that I'm in favor of roads.
|7.19.09 @ 1:06PM|#
>nice flowchart...
Shut the hell up, Britney. I wish you would discover carbon
monoxide poisoning...
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