Ask a Puerto Rican, But Don't Expect Much of an Answer

Matt Welch | June 15, 2009

What happens when the OC Weekly's Gustavo "Ask a Mexican" Arellano somehow ends up on a Hollywood red carpet with Benecio "Che Guevara" del Toro? Hilarity!

The only thing I know about del Toro is that he's Puerto Rican, so I asked him what did he think about the nomination of fellow boricua Sonia Sotomayor to a seat on the Supreme Court. "Excellent, excellent," he snickered while turning around to speak with another reporter. [...]

I decided to go even more political. "Puerto Rico: independence, commonwealth, or state?" I asked. He stopped. "What's your plan?" he shot back.

"I asked you—answer the question," I responded, peppering in some Puerto Rican slang to soften him up. It didn't work.

"What's your plan?" he yelled again. A handler was trying to guide him to safer terrain, but he tried to get closer.

"You're Puerto Rican; I'm Mexican." I said.

"Gimme a plan! Gimme a plan!" he started rambling before finally walking away.

COWARD. For someone who's expressed undying love for the commie Che Guevara, for del Toro to not take a stance on his homeland's limbo nature is weak.

Whole thing at the fab Hollywood gossip blog Crazy Days and Nights; link via LA Observed. Read all about Sonia Sotomayor's college thesis on Puerto Rican independence at this Google search link.

Arellano gave us his three biggest misconceptions about Orange County back in November 2008. And never forget Reason.tv's classic on "Hollywood's sick love affair with Che Guevara":

Comments

Naga Sadow|6.15.09 @ 11:04AM|#

It's almost as if del Toro is an actor with no reason to talk up something that doesn't pay off for him. Strange.

|6.15.09 @ 11:09AM|#

There goes Naga, spinning his elaborate conspiracies again.

T|6.15.09 @ 11:12AM|#

There goes Naga, spinning his elaborate conspiracies again.

That's not elaborate. Elaborate is when Del Toro is keeping his silence due to his long standing funding of the Los Machateros through a complex financial network involving bootleg Sanrio merchandise, amputee scat porn, and a chain of KFC franchises in East Asia. But I've said too much...

The Angry Optimist|6.15.09 @ 11:14AM|#

Is it just me, or does that pic just look an aged Brad Pitt in a beret?

The Extispicator|6.15.09 @ 11:18AM|#

TAO:

It is not just you.

The conspiracy thickens ... Brad Pitt is actually an 80 year old who has been cloned multiple times to keep young editions of him available for Hollywood. How else did they make that movie about him reverse aging???!?!

Some Guy|6.15.09 @ 11:19AM|#

Is there any greater symbol of the downfall of communism than Che Guevara: T-Shirt Guy?

EJM|6.15.09 @ 11:24AM|#

Next time, he should be asked if he's a fan of Calle 13.

|6.15.09 @ 11:38AM|#

Brad Pitt is actually an 80 year old who has been cloned multiple times to keep young editions of him available for Hollywood. How else did they make that movie about him reverse aging?

Duh. Everybody already knows this. In fact, all the Brangelina children are not adopted, but rather gene modified clones of Brad designed to not look like him until older. Even the female ones.

|6.15.09 @ 11:39AM|#

LOL, Puerto Ricans are cool!

RT
www.absolute-anonymity.us.tc

|6.15.09 @ 11:48AM|#

Del Toro should have posted the guy's response to "what's your plan?" on youtube.

shecky|6.15.09 @ 12:01PM|#

I don't get it. Is there an angle here I'm missing? Del Toro refuses to give a dissertation on Puerto Rico at some award ceremony, to some guy he probably doesn't know? COWARD! If he had gotten up to a mic and started talking PR politics to the press, I suppose that would have gone over well at H&R. Who gives a shit over what some Hollywood actor has to say? Except when we give a shit over what some Hollywood actor has to say.

Oh, now I get it... He played a commie in the movies! No wonder del Toro merits a post over what any normal person would consider a yawn.

T|6.15.09 @ 12:15PM|#

No wonder del Toro merits a post over what any normal person would consider a yawn.

And yet a yawner of a post merits a response. What does that say about you, shecky?

|6.15.09 @ 12:21PM|#

I believe that del Toro is indirectly voicing his objection that Panama got a famous palindrome but Puerto Rico did not.

|6.15.09 @ 12:23PM|#

"And yet a yawner of a post merits a response. What does that say about you, shecky?"

That shecky is mad as hell and isn't gonna take it anymore?

T|6.15.09 @ 12:24PM|#

I believe that del Toro is indirectly voicing his objection that Panama got a famous palindrome but Puerto Rico did not.

I think he's ironically expressing his dissatisfaction with the economic stimulus as applied to Puerto Rico. The cry of "Gimme a plan! Gimme a plan!" obviously refers to the unmet needs of the rum industry and the crippling lack of professional football on the island.

JB|6.15.09 @ 12:26PM|#

shecky,

He didn't just play a commie, he praised a murdering commie. But like a typical Leftist retard, you make apologies for that.

You are one sick fuck.

|6.15.09 @ 12:28PM|#

the crippling lack of professional football on the island.

There is no lack:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puerto_Rico_Islanders

|6.15.09 @ 12:36PM|#

JB, if you're going to criticize a film, criticize the person who wrote and directed it, i.e., the person with the authorial voice. Del Toro was offered a job, took it, and did his best. This is called being a professional; if appreciating professionalism makes me a "typical Leftist retard" and/or "one sick fuck," then call me what you want.

And I'm glad he wouldn't answer the reporter. Few things are more irritating than celebrities who think that because they are talented actors we should listen to what they think about politics.

|6.15.09 @ 12:37PM|#

I concluded that del Toro was an idiot when I read that he was preparing for his role as Che by working on a Cuban accent, apparently unaware that Che was an Argentine.

T|6.15.09 @ 12:37PM|#

There is no lack

Real football, Timon, not metric football.

|6.15.09 @ 12:39PM|#

I know not of this "metric football". Everything is measured in yards.

Sounds real enough to me.

Neu Mejican|6.15.09 @ 1:19PM|#

Of course, Gael García Bernal has played Che twice...so we must get his opinion about about Mexico's current troubles.

|6.15.09 @ 1:21PM|#

Del Toro was offered a job, took it, and did his best.

He could have said "Sorry, boys, but I have too much self-respect to participate in glorifying a vicious murdering thug." Professionalism isn't just how you do it, its what you choose to do.

Neu Mejican|6.15.09 @ 1:30PM|#

Something worth noting...One of the reasons Del Toro gave for wanting to make this film is that he knew nothing about Che and thought making the film would be a way to learn about him.

He used Che's own writings as his primary source material. Che was a good writer, whatever else he was. Based primarily on those writings he has been called a hero by everyone from Nelson Mandela to Sartre ("the most complete human being of our age" iirc).

He was certainly a murderous thug, but his life certainly makes for an interesting examination of the human condition. Perfect fodder for film. Too bad it looks like this film whitewashes the darker aspects of that life.

|6.15.09 @ 1:35PM|#

Someone should make a movie from Doug Kenney's "Che Guevara's Bolivian Diaries" (written for the National Lampoon). It gives the appropriate perspective of the man.

T|6.15.09 @ 1:41PM|#

Based primarily on those writings he has been called a hero by everyone from Nelson Mandela to Sartre ("the most complete human being of our age" iirc).

I'm not sure being called a complete human being by Sartre is necessarily a compliment in the eyes of most of us. YYMV.

And from his own writings "The situation was uncomfortable for the people and for [Eutimio], so I ended the problem giving him a shot with a .32 pistol in the right side of the brain, with exit orifice in the right temporal [lobe]. He gasped for a little while and was dead. Upon proceeding to remove his belongings I couldn't get off the watch tied by a chain to his belt, and then he told me in a steady voice farther away than fear: "Yank it off, boy, what does it matter." I did so and his possessions were now mine. "

Neu Mejican|6.15.09 @ 1:43PM|#

For the record, Del Toro co-produced the film.

The "just took a job" characterization is inaccurate.

Gimlet|6.15.09 @ 1:47PM|#

"YYMV"

Your Yak May Vomit?

T|6.15.09 @ 1:49PM|#

Your Yak May Vomit?

Stand well back from it, just in case. You don't want to get yak vomit on you. Trust me on that one.

Neu Mejican|6.15.09 @ 1:53PM|#

T,

Nice quote.

Of course, was suspected of being a traitor, was found with weapons and a letter of safe passage from Casillas. Guevara was ordered to executing him by a superior and later wrote that he believed Guerra had represented a dangerous threat to their group.

I am sure Del Toro...not really the best example of his cruelty. If you in a frame of mind where you sympathize with Che's goals, this incident would not look like arbitrary cruelty.

Like I said, he was a good writer. This incident in framed in his works as a necessary evil. And not one taken lightly.

Murderous thug, yes, absolutely.
This particular incident looks more like "soldier in a war," however, and plays into Che's image of himself.

NM copy editor|6.15.09 @ 1:55PM|#

Odd,

Where'd the "Eutimio Guerra" before "was suspected of being a traitor" go...I am sure I put that in that sentence.

JB|6.15.09 @ 1:58PM|#

APR,

Learn to shut your mouth when you don't know what you are talking about (which is probably all the time).

Go here to learn more:
http://pajamasmedia.com/ronradosh/2009/01/27/benicio-del-toro-che-guevaras-useful-idiot/

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/jan/27/del-toro-walks-away-from-questions-on-che/print/

T|6.15.09 @ 2:01PM|#

Like I said, he was a good writer. This incident in framed in his works as a necessary evil. And not one taken lightly.

The part about that quote that always weirded me out was the whole bit about ripping the watch off and his possessions were now mine. It goes against the whole necessary action vibe Che's trying for. Yeah, maybe you had to kill him, but did you have to take his watch? Right then? Couldn't let it go for 5 minutes and have a flunky strip the body?

Must have been a nice watch.

Neu Mejican|6.15.09 @ 2:06PM|#

T,

In this incident, Che is the flunky who is being told to strip the body. This was the first person he ever killed...he did so on orders from his superior...The "Yank it off, boy, what does it matter" is spoken by his commander.

The concept of possession is, of course, a central theme of Che's writings. The have-nots taking from the have's.

|6.15.09 @ 2:08PM|#

Must have been a nice watch.

You know nothing the revolutionary spirit, T. Che took the watch so that the other men in his company could each get a band or stem or hand or cog as a fair and equal share under the communist ideal.

|6.15.09 @ 2:13PM|#

Few things are more irritating than celebrities who think that because they are talented actors we should listen to what they think about politics.

Agreed, but I thought that was part of the point of the interaction. If certain celebrities feel the need to spout off about politics, why do we always have to let them pick the topic?

T|6.15.09 @ 2:25PM|#

The concept of possession is, of course, a central theme of Che's writings. The have-nots taking from the have's.

Expropriation by any other name is still theft. I understand the motivations that led to the Cuban Revolution. I just can't give Che a pass on being a murderous bastard because he wrote well.

alan|6.15.09 @ 2:30PM|#

The conspiracy thickens ... Brad Pitt is actually an 80 year old who has been cloned multiple times to keep young editions of him available for Hollywood. How else did they make that movie about him reverse aging???!?!

The real question is why did they make that movie about him reverse aging. A waste of time all around.

Saw a rumour claiming Catherine Zeta Jones is actually 51 instead 39 on a celeb watcher site over the week end. Face certainly could pass for under forty, but if you measure the hangage of tits like you do tree rings, she is at least 51.

Hank|6.15.09 @ 2:37PM|#

"The part about that quote that always weirded me out was the whole bit about ripping the watch off and his possessions were now mine"

When did this turn into a George Soros thread?

alan|6.15.09 @ 2:38PM|#

Face certainly could pass for under forty

Let me qualify that, it is almost as easy to clean up a T Mobile, or whatever it is she promotes, now as it is to do a single pic in Photoshop (or if you are cheap bastard like me, or despise how Adobe fucked up the dodge&burn tools, Gimp), so as far as I can tell, she could pass for 39 from the neck up.

alan|6.15.09 @ 2:40PM|#

That is:

it is almost as easy to clean up a T Mobile thirty second spot,

|6.15.09 @ 3:20PM|#

"but if you measure the hangage of tits like you do tree rings, she is at least 51."

That settles it. If she wants to fuck me she'll need to produce a birth certificate

|6.15.09 @ 3:44PM|#

Puerto rico islanders is real football, albeit division 2 usl. The nfl used the term football years after a sport with that name already existed. When is Beckham back to the galaxy anyway? As for Del Taco, he is a moron.

|6.15.09 @ 3:49PM|#

When is Beckham back to the galaxy anyway?

Who cares when you can watch the best player in the league and maybe even the best in the history of the league, Guillermo Barros Schelotto?

|6.15.09 @ 3:51PM|#

JB,

This is the second time I've visited this site. Being a lawyer, statistician, and independent filmmaker, I'm always up for lively, intelligent discussion, and I thought I might possibly have something worthwhile to contribute.

But life is too short for me to waste it reading needlessly abusive tripe from foulmouthed knee-jerkers. One person like you can ruin an entire Web forum.

Maybe it gives you a sense of power to belittle people when you could, with absolutely NO added effort, be a little less confrontational. I don't know, and I'll never find out. You folks have a nice day.

APR

|6.15.09 @ 3:53PM|#

//Start Naivete

I wonder, if maybe the applause (at Cannes) was just for Del Toro's excellent acting in the film, and appreciation of a well deserved award?

//End Naivete

Of course, you could compare that against Ralph Fiennes award presentations for Amon Goeth in Schindler's List. After all, both are good actors portraying people who ran death camps. (Though I think Fiennes is a far better actor).

Just sayin'....

Classic ...|6.15.09 @ 4:47PM|#

Che Guevara = Hero

Benicio Del Toro = Great Actor

This site = Lame Reactionary Dickclowns

:o)

|6.15.09 @ 4:56PM|#

The myth of Che is very seductive ... a small band of good looking shaggy beatniks overthrow a corrupt U.S.-backed dictator who is a puppet for the Mafia and who enriches himself while the majority of his nation lives in bohio squalor. The factual accuracy is almost secondary, history is written by the winners.

Was Thomas Jefferson a righteous defender of liberty or a man who literally kept, raped, and impregated the slave woman he held in bondage ??? The reality is he was both.

Che was both: a cruel & ruthless guerrilla who killed in order to retain his grip on power, and a charismatic talented orator who rallied against imperialism & forced the U.S. to look inward at our own faults and sins.

Ideology causes most here to forget that reality is rarely pure and never simple.

Neu Mejican|6.15.09 @ 4:58PM|#

I just can't give Che a pass on being a murderous bastard because he wrote well.

Nor should you.

I thought we were talking about how Del Toro might have developed his misunderstandings about Che...not whether Che's actions should be forgiven.

T|6.15.09 @ 5:08PM|#

I thought we were talking about how Del Toro might have developed his misunderstandings about Che...not whether Che's actions should be forgiven.

By ignoring or glossing over the bloodier parts, would be my guess.

alan|6.15.09 @ 5:33PM|#

Like I've mentioned this before, Benecio del Toro is too easy a target for a smart guy like Welch to go after. I saw the man on TMZ rambling to some people on a street corner and at the same time attempt to walk into the middle of traffic, where his handlers had to intervene to keep him from killing himself. Pity, the poor handlers whatever they are getting paid, it isn't worth dealing with that sort of thing everyday.

I'll just remember BT playing the best character in one of my favorite movies, 'The Usual Suspects'. He waded in to politics and got over his head.

|6.15.09 @ 11:26PM|#

Che shirts are offensive ... he killed people in a war.

Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to buy my non-offensive Nike shirt made by underfed Chinese children with U.S. money bearing the faces of slave owners.

Praise Jesus !

|6.16.09 @ 12:33AM|#

I think that was uncalled for to call Benecio del Toro a coward. Most Puerto Ricans that do not live on the island have no idea.As an actor he should not devulge his preference. I personally say keep it as it is or make it a statehood.

Viva !|6.16.09 @ 1:36AM|#

... Del Toro is wise to admire Che Guevara.

To me Che Guevara is one of the most heroic figures in world history who is a stoic example of what all those who speak of "revolution" should espouse to be.

This was a man who left a bourgeoisie comfortable life of the upper class, a potential well compensated career as a medical doctor, and a high regarded governmental position --- each time to slog through the jungle and fight guerrilla wars against impenetrable odds = for a better and more equitable society.

Guevara despite his crippling and acute asthma which would debilitate him almost daily to inches from death, directed "suicide squads" in the battle against the U.S. armed and backed Dictator Batista where with less than 300 men; he literally took on 10,000 Batista soldiers armed with tanks, jets, and U.S. weaponry, and came out victorious at and leading up to the victory at Santa Clara.

Throughout his life Che tended to thousands of sick campesinos, helped construct dozens of schools throughout Cuba, worked in a Leper colony to helped those afflicted, and even when he was literally tied up in a small mud school house awaiting his own execution ! , still complained to the local teacher that in a nation where the leaders drove Mercedes … it was a travesty that the peasants were taught in a dilapidated place like he was in.

Was he perfect? Of course not. No human is. But in mind he was awfully close considering the circumstances and cards he was dealt. I also find it telling that the best "canard" his detractors and those propagandists of monopoly capitalism can come up with - was his short stint at La Cabana prison. Where Che simply reviewed the cases and convictions of war criminals convicted by revolutionary tribunal (modeled after Nuremburg). The same secret police and Batista backed torturers that killed 20,000 people and tortured tens of thousands more. At a time when Fidel and Che would release military captives in the Sierra after tending to them medically, Batista would gouge the eyes out of captives until they gave away rebel positions. The fact that Che saw to it that justice was delivered cold to the Cuban people to me only makes him more heroic. He knew that a "pedagogy of the wall" was the only thing that could cleanse a society from the thousands of goons who raped and terrorized it with impunity.

Che meets the requirements of a "hero", by nearly any definition.

JB|6.16.09 @ 2:26AM|#

APR,

I tire of people defending Che, the murdering bastard. shecky is a douchebag so that is why I responded the way I did to him.

As for you, if you would have read my first comment more closely you would have seen I was talking about more than his performance. I knew the facts of del Toro opening his mouth and defending Che outside of his performance.

I jumped all over you for your lack of reading comprehension. Maybe that is another skill that lawyers lack.

Robert|6.16.09 @ 8:34AM|#

I agree that most Puerto Ricans are unaware of their own political status and are divided with parties just because their ancestors were part of that party.

In defense of Del Toro, well he is just another clueless star like most of them in Hollywood. They vote for whomever the masses predict will win next TV season or American Idol.

I'm glad someone is exploiting that piece of garbage "Che"!

http://www.map-puerto-rico.com

|6.16.09 @ 3:50PM|#

American from the UnitedStatesIsland of Puerto Rico.
Mexico had an opportunity@the Alamo statehood or Republic.now they need a passport or dodge the rio grande.
The capital of Puerto Rico zip code 006.., is the bronx zip., and the PR's fly in and out of SanJuan como moncho y moncha por su casa.No pass port required.
WashingtonDC and PuertoRico R both Commenwealths of USA,while DC can never ever be a state,must remain imparcial governing the rupublic for which IT Stands.
PuertoRico Military deep waters run deep,sentinal for the americas,comprise a wing of theEagle@USOldGlory@MoscosoBridge4
evrlasting.
Pay No Tax !
Duty bound to the commander and chief president of the united stats of America.
All we need now is israel and Palestine statehooders@OldGlory.

|6.16.09 @ 4:30PM|#

Del Toro is a great actor - who cares about his politics!

And his film Che was actually pretty good - even to a non-Communist like myself.

Some of these obsessions are just plain silly. He probably thinks PR is a state already. He's an actor, not a rhodes scholar.

|6.16.09 @ 8:18PM|#

Reason seems to be as obsessed with Che Guevara as those they criticize for the same thing.

Che's been dead for 40 years, yet some still act as if they fear his ghost.

As for Puerto Rican independence, they have the best of both worlds now. No taxes, yet open immigration to the US.

|6.19.09 @ 7:39PM|#

CHE ... hero, icon, father, husband, rebel, soldier, writer, intellectual, doctor, politician, dentist, poet, statesman, military theorist, guerrilla, diplomat, general, warrior, Marxist, defender of the poor, inspirational legend, guardian of justice, and current saint in Bolivia

It just kills Conservatives that such a heroic man will not go away. That is because these troglodytes cant fathom that he lives in the hearts of the hungry and the oppressed and that ideas never die.

Hence Che Lives on !