The War of Cook County Aggression

Jeff Winkler | April 8, 2009

It looks like Ole Miss fans aren't the only ones who support the rebels. Yesterday, the citizens of the Palatine township–upset over sales-tax increases and tired of feeling as if they're pulling more than their own weight in taxes–voted to secede from Cook County. But as the Chicago Tribune notes:

...Don't expect the county border to be redrawn any time soon. The referendum measures in the townships of Palatine, Barrington and Hanover were advisory, not binding.

It's not the first time these Illinois residents have gotten ornery:

In the 1970's, those three suburbs, along with Wheeling, Schaumburg, and Elk Grove Village considered breaking away to form Lincoln County. Former Palatine mayor and state senator Wendell Jones was long a proponent of the idea. And in 2004 a group of 55 south suburban municipalities tried to organize around secession as well, although they were motivated by economic development, an issue they felt Chicago politicians were ignoring. Neither proposal went far.

Palatine citizens are so upset with the way things are going that they have begun shopping in the next county, where the taxes are lower. And mayor Rita Mullins said it was silly that Palatine "sends $18 million to Cook County...and [gets] only $4 million back in services."

The residents, however, have plenty of walls to scale before they can properly secede. Mullins, the most public proponent of secession, was "soundly defeated "by former Chicago Bear Jim Schwantz yesterday, and a majority of the county would have to approve the secession, too.

The success of actual secession are slim. But perhaps the citizens of Palatine will immortalize the defeat in a wonderfully melancholic song, like, say, Levon Helm and the boys:

Contributor Hannah Metchis covered other Yankee groups that have pushed for secession. In 2006, contributor Robert Nelson welcomed the privatization of local government. And as Senior Editor Radley Balko shows, secession talk can often come across as spousal feuding.

Comments

Kyle Jordan|4.8.09 @ 11:54AM|#

These folks need an Office Space lesson

"Why should I have to change my name!? He's the one that sucks."

So they shouldn't secede. They should in turn firebomb Cook county until it's a smoldering hole in the ground. It would save all of us some grief.

Just make sure that Malnatti's moves their operation out first. I love their pizza.

Colonel_Angus|4.8.09 @ 12:51PM|#

Cook County may be a big piece of cunt matter, but I don't understand what Barrington has to bitch about. Barrington as a whole loves central control, entitlements, and good old neighborly paternalism. Every time the Chicago suburbs are bitching about something stupid Barrington is one of the loudest. Cook County is perfect for them.

EJM|4.8.09 @ 1:34PM|#

In the 1970's, those three suburbs, along with Wheeling, Schaumburg, and Elk Grove Village considered breaking away to form Lincoln County.

"Lincoln County" would be the obvious choice; however, "Daley County" may be (unfortunately) more appropriate.

Personally, though, I dare them to suggest the name "La Follette County". ;)

jtuf|4.8.09 @ 6:12PM|#

Isn't moving three towns over much easier than changing the county border?

JB|4.9.09 @ 2:16AM|#

Cook County is a stupid area. Those suburbs should all leave and let Chicago be stand alone as its own county.

Smartest Person Alive|4.16.09 @ 2:23PM|#

If Palatine wants to secede, they can go ahead. Palatine is a rathole, let them have "Lincoln County" (real original, by the way).