Never Learn Not to Panic

Senate compromiser-in-chief Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) explains in today's Washington Post why he's joining with the Democrats to stimulate each and every one of us. The effort is an almost textbook example of don't-just-stand-there-DO-SOMETHING logic:

I am supporting the economic stimulus package for one simple reason: The country cannot afford not to take action.

[F]ailure to act will leave the United States facing a far deeper crisis in three or six months. By then the cost of action will be much greater -- or it may be too late. [...]

Failure to act would be devastating not just for Wall Street and Main Street but for much of the rest of the world, which is looking to our country for leadership in this crisis.

So on the do-nothing side, Threatdown. The other? Puppy dogs and rainbows!

Our $780 billion bill would save or create up to 4 million jobs, helping to offset the loss of 3.6 million jobs since December 2007.

So very scientific!

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  • Xeones||

    Yo, fuck Arlen Specter.

  • Reinmoose||

    or it may be too late. [...]

    or else what, I wonder.

  • ||

    I am supporting the economic stimulus package for one simple reason: The country cannot afford not to take action.

    I want to bang my head against the table when I read shit like this. Can't we put these fuckers on trial for fraud?

  • Xeones||

    Awful lot of necks in and around that Capitol building are in need of rope. That's what they used to do to robbers, anyway.

  • Taktix®||

    Yo, fuck Arlen Specter.

    Seriously, fuck that dude. Every thing this guy does is terrible.

    Stimulus.
    Investigating the NFL.
    Not being a corpse.

    Seriously, fuck Arlen Specter. Who the fuck is named Arlen, anyways...

  • Greg||

    I live in PA and I can't take this guy any longer. I've never been active in politics, although a political junky, I've always been to busy working to get actively involved. But with this horrible bill that will cripple my children, their children and my grandchildren with a crushing debt load that will only rob them not only of their money but their freedom, I have to do something.

    I've called (voice mail filled) and written my senator but even though the communication he is getting from his constituents is overwhelmingly against this bill, it is time for him to retire.

    Since I'm an Internet guy, I registered defeatspecter.org. Right now it is just a simple petition which I hope will get some names that I can include in fax to his office. However, it will remain as a hub of communication dedicated to ensuring he goes in the next election.

  • ||

    Doctor 1: "The patient isn't breating and may die."

    Doctor 2: "Nurse, get him prepped for surgery. We're going to do a bypass."

    Doctor 1: "But he's not breathing. A bypass won't get him breathing again."

    Doctor 2: "There's no time to debate this. We need action now!"

  • Greetings!||

    Congratulation:

    FROM: MOST HONORABLE SPEAKOR PELOSI + ALL CONGRESS

    MINSTERS FINANCIAL - WASHINGTON DC
    CAPITOL BUILDING
    WASHINTON DC
    AMERICA

    TO: ALL HONARABLE NOBLE CITIZANS OF AMERICA

    RE: YOUR UNCLAIMED STIMULUS

    CONGRATUALTION! On this honorable day for us, we beeseech you for the favor of your reply in kind. The time is now for your urgent action to be taken for the securing your stimulus wealth. I am mandated to make this acknowledgement officially to you by the powers and CHANGE imposed on me.

    For years we make the genorous payments for anyone in our country and so many of the peoples of the world. At this great time of joy for our America, we want to be sure you get yours.

    IT IS WITH HAPPYNES make this offering for the greatness of our Hope/changed future. During the last financial records/audits conducted with bad last President. All went into pool of darkness. Now with new Hope Change President in the year 2009 and by the HONARABLE CONGRESS PEOPLE, we find you need some STIMULUS Happyness.

    ON OR BEFORE APRIL 15 2009, please to file your correct information needed to secure your STIMULATION. KINDLY FORWARD THE FOLLOWING FOR TAX RECOMFIRMATION:

    1) Your full name and ID #……….

    2) All you childrens 529 plans # (however diminished)

    3) Your 401K account # (However destroyed)

    4) Phone, fax and mobile #……………

    5) Former Company name, position and address…………..

    6) Former Profession, age and marital status………………

    7) Unemployment check amount………………..

    7a) Foreclosed Mortgage account info

    9) (Califorina only) I.O.U. TAX REBATE number.

    10) Cobra Heathcare acct #

    As soon as the above information are received, your payment will be Made available to you via an international (UPhishS) courier delivery in voucher for promises which will Be delivered to your doorstep for your confirmation or via CSPAN. Your urgent response to this mail will help facilitate the onward conclussion of this transaction without and further delays.

    In case, I sincerely apologies for the delay of your payment and all the inconveniences that we might have indulge you through the next 4 years. HOWEVER - MANY GREEN jobs to come for you and you children. Condoms for all. No more Christmas lights for bad enviorment. And dont forget to change your TV antennas and enjoy the HIGH DEF..

    WISHING YOU STIMULATED,

    ALL THE CONGRESS OF AMERICA

  • Mrs. Specter||

    Hell no! Have you seen this asshole lately? He looks like a damn shar-pei on muscle relaxers.

    And his face is god-awful, too!

  • Curious George||

    Somehwere a village is missing its village idiot. I wonder if Philadelphia realizes Specter is in the senate.

    Whenever the three stooges aren't on I can take heart in knowing Collins, Snowe and Specter have replaced them.

  • Curious George||

    Specter just appeared on radio and gave a demonstration of why he is senile. Waste, fraud, failure to produce jobs why according to Specter all projects will be competitively bid.

    Just like the Big Dig which gave us three miles of road for 18 billion dollars.

    Gee at this rate the US will get about 180 miles of road.

    Specter proves not all dimwits, corrupt clowns and inbreds are democrats.

  • ||

    Our $780 billion bill would save or create up to 4 million jobs,

    I love that "save or create." It means that no matter how bad the economy tanks or how long it takes to get out of this recovery, then can say their stimulus worked.

    And I also love the way he makes this statement after the CBO said that, over a ten year time frame, this dog was a net negative for the economy.

  • ||

    R C Dean,

    Who cares about the long term? We need short term stimulus NOW! The sort of short term stimulus that comes from infrastructure projects not slated to start for two years!

  • ||

    Since the proposed stimulus will stimulate very little, then doing nothing won't have any significant effect, either. Why not skip the whole thing? Massive new spending is not a good idea in the heart of a recession, especially when we're looking at having trouble paying the bills, anyway.

  • ||

    fuck Arlen Specter.

    Not even with Lefiti's dick.

  • ||

    So when this doesn't work and we're still in a recession in a year, what's the line going to be? I'm guessing- it would have been even worse if we didn't do the stimulus.

  • ||

    So when this doesn't work and we're still in a recession in a year, what's the line going to be? I'm guessing- it would have been even worse if we didn't do the stimulus.

    And the reason we didn't do more was the damn Republicans. Burn them! Burn them all!

    /Rahm Emmanuel

  • ||

    So when this doesn't work and we're still in a recession in a year, what's the line going to be? I'm guessing- it would have been even worse if we didn't do the stimulus.

    Every govt program is both enough of a success to prove the govt deserves more money and power, and enough of a failure to prove the govt needs more money and power.

  • The Wine Commonsewer (you can ||

    The amazing thing about Republicans that cave is that yielding up your principles (using the term loosely) doesn't make anyone like them any better. They don't get shit for running three steps behind the Democrats with a shoeshine kit shouting ME TOO!

  • creech||

    I dunno, Specter once complimented my Statue of Liberty tie! At what site can we procure a mainstream libertarian proposal for getting people back to work, businesses growing and profiting, credit flowing, etc. etc. We all need to forward the proposal to our senators and congressman and ask them to read and consider it.

  • ||

    running three steps behind the Democrats with a shoeshine kit

  • ||

    Squirrels ate my baby!

  • JB||

    Argh...almost punched my computer.

    I really need to move out of the DC area...the chance of me running into one of these idiots is too high.

  • Xeones||

    Don't move away, JB -- just make sure that, when you run into one of these idiots, you are in a large vehicle of some sort, and they are not.

  • Mike Laursen||

    If only the public weren't so easily snowed by someone's ability to use multi-syllable words like "economic" and "stimulus". Substitute "buying me a Wii" for "the economic stimulus package", "mommy and daddy" for "the country", etc. and you can see that his argument analyzes the situation at the level of a 7-year-old.

  • Mike Laursen||

    At what site can we procure a mainstream libertarian proposal for getting people back to work, businesses growing and profiting, credit flowing, etc. etc.

    I think reason has recently published just the article you're looking for. But I'm not going to find the link because I'm going to go stimulate the economy by buying lunch.

  • cunnivore||

    To paraphrase a great man, I'm not against all stimuli, just stupid stimuli.

  • Brian Sorgatz||

    Never Learn Not to Panic

    Hmm. Does the post title allude to the Beach Boys song that Charles Manson wrote?

  • heshaojie||

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