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Quotable
"I certainly respect the Constitution, but we have some issues that are much bigger than the Constitution."
That's the "worst mayor in America," Jackson, Mississippi's Frank Melton. Guess what issue he's talking about, then click through to see if you were right.
TofuSushi|1.15.09 @ 12:34PM|#
The corrupt capitalistic system is bigger than the constitution but baggy pants are not. Even on the larger oppressed minorities.
Elemenope|1.15.09 @ 12:38PM|#
Well, the Constitution is only five pages long, so a pair of big
jeans is almost certainly bigger.
I see what he's getting at.
|1.15.09 @ 12:39PM|#
You know, sushi made of tofu sucks. Give me some hamachi, unagi, toro, or sake.
Mister DNA|1.15.09 @ 12:41PM|#
This only proves that the Jackson, Mississippi City Council is in the pocket of Big Pants.
|1.15.09 @ 12:43PM|#
Isn't he really saying that he'll respect the Constitution in the morning, after he's given a good fucking?
Xeones|1.15.09 @ 12:43PM|#
Well, i guessed wrong. Time to downgrade my opinion of folks yet
again! Also, fuck Frank Melton.
Epi: last night i marinated tofu strips in sesame-lime-chili sauce,
covered them in coconut shreds and sesame seeds, and fried 'em.
Delicious. Tofu can be a fine accompaniment to real food, if you do
it right.
TMOF|1.15.09 @ 12:46PM|#
Aren't the young folks who wear baggy pants, unwittingly, the new sans-culottes? I say ... off with Melton's head!
|1.15.09 @ 12:48PM|#
Tofu can be a fine accompaniment to real food, if you do it
right.
It is a flavor sponge, and not a particularly good one at that.
Yes, you can make it taste good, but it has no inherent flavor of
its own. Hence--no good in sushi.
|1.15.09 @ 12:49PM|#
I guessed drugs or terrorism. I wasn't thinking petty enough. My
bad.
I love that he's willing to go to court over low-hung pants. Very
effective use of tax dollars, Frank.
If they must write a law why not just say everyone has the right to
wear pants all half off their ass and those that do so also have
the right to be slapped upside the head by anyone over 40 (if they
can catch them...you never know, maybe the baggy pants act like a
governor on their speed, should be fun to watch on Youtube).
Xeones|1.15.09 @ 12:50PM|#
Hence--no good in sushi.
Very true. That's why i ate mine alongside leftover Papa John's
pizza.
|1.15.09 @ 12:53PM|#
Just for fun, an argument can be made that dress codes do not
violate the Constitution.
(1) The Constitution does not grant the Federal government the
power to implement dress codes but instead leads the matter up to
the states. The Bill of Rights does not enumerate such a right so
the 14th Amendment does not apply.
(2) Sumptuary laws still existed when the Constitution was ratified
so clearly the people of that time did not see them as being in
conflict.
(3) Federal and State governments do claim the power to regulate
clothing in the workplace based on claims safety and identification
(e.g. security guard uniforms cannot look like police uniforms).
They also prevent the sale of clothing deemed unsafe for any reason
e.g. infant wear. Of course, obscenity laws would also fall into
this category because they regulate the minimal amount of clothes a
person could wear.
Given the view widely held on the Left that the government can
remove any freedom except (in the best case) for the enumerated
ones, it would seem that a local government would have the
authority to regulate public dress as it sees fit. Indeed, 50 years
ago, running around with your butt crack hanging out would have
been considered a state matter of indecency.
On another note, I am pleased to discover what has happened to
Texas' usually bumper crop of crazy politicians. Apparently, we've
been exporting them.
|1.15.09 @ 12:55PM|#
Clearly this is a case that shows why the Constitution should be considered a living document. The Founders simply did not foresee the scourge of modern day baggy pants.
Xeones|1.15.09 @ 12:58PM|#
Dudes who are comfortable with their manhood can handle having moobs, Epi.
|1.15.09 @ 1:00PM|#
In my mind, the Constitution is a set of heavy iron shackles, including the iron ball, that the government is locked into. Unfortunately, for some reason, we gave the government the key, an acetylene torch, a high-powered laser, a heavy-duty bolt cutter, and we replaced the chains with poorly woven Spanish moss.
The Angry Optimist|1.15.09 @ 1:00PM|#
Shannon Love - interesting, but I think that free expression
concerns would disallow such limitations.
Of course, we still have public nudity laws. One wonder why they do
not just expand those a little bit.
|1.15.09 @ 1:01PM|#
What if Mother Earth considers fish Sea Kittens to be parasites
and wants us to eat them?
Fixed. Now see how silly your question is?
Tyler|1.15.09 @ 1:08PM|#
"He said the ordinance was an attempt to 'save all the children
we can.'"
Please, God, save the children from loose pants! Before it's too
late!
|1.15.09 @ 1:15PM|#
I don't even know what that means, X. I prefer to think of you as you were in your carefree youth hunting white tigers in Burma.
|1.15.09 @ 1:17PM|#
What if Mother Earth considers fish
Sea Kittens to be parasites and wants us to eat them?
Fixed. Now see how silly your question is?
My salmon Sea Kitten ended up looking like a cross between a
catfish and narwhal.
Also, tofu sushi blows.
|1.15.09 @ 1:23PM|#
Look, I'm eating the tuna. Gaea can either bless me for it or yell at me, but in the absence of affirmative direction, I'm assuming she wants me to order toro and maguro.
|1.15.09 @ 1:26PM|#
How about the sweater kittens?
They seem pretty comfortable to me.
Cats
'N' Racks
|1.15.09 @ 1:29PM|#
Gaea demands that you free them, Episiarch.
Is this "Gaea" hot? She sounds like a fatty to me.
|1.15.09 @ 1:33PM|#
Is this "Gaea" hot? She sounds like a fatty to
me.
She was fairly sexy
in Rome. But maybe a bit zaftig depending on your
tastes.
|1.15.09 @ 1:44PM|#
More from the LEO/Saggy pants frontlines.
Dateline - July 7, 2008
July
7: Flint cops crack down on pants
Flint residents now have to watch their butts because Police Chief David Dicks is on the lookout.
Dicks, who took over the department last month on an interim basis, announced that his officers would start arresting people wearing saggy pants that expose skivvies, boxer shorts or bare bottoms.
Dateline - January 14, 2009
U.S.
charges Flint chief of police with illegally taking public
funds
The city's interim police chief was charged today with illegally receiving public money through a no-show job at a security company run by his father.
David Dicks appeared in federal court in Flint on a criminal complaint and was released on $25,000 bond.
The complaint says Dicks received nearly $47,000 from City Security Guard Co. over a two-year period ending in July 2007.
At the same time, however, he was actually working as a police officer or attending classes at Mott Community College, according to the U.S. Labor Department, which interviewed other security employees and examined Dicks' timesheets.
Elemenope|1.15.09 @ 1:52PM|#
She was fairly sexy in Rome.
If by sexy you mean satanically evil, yeah. She was sexy
in Rome.
|1.15.09 @ 1:58PM|#
Elemenope | January 15, 2009, 9:58am | #
Moral absolutism about complicated events and people is nearly as exhausting as moral relativism about simple ones.
:-P
|1.15.09 @ 2:00PM|#
From the end of that article:
"Melton is scheduled to stand trial in federal court next month on
civil rights charges related to a police-style raid on a Jackson
duplex in 2006."
What exactly is a "police-style" raid? Is that like what Radley
always posts about, but involving people who aren't actual
cops?
(Come to think of it, I'm not sure whethere that's a step up or
down.)
|1.15.09 @ 2:03PM|#
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Melton
.
.
.
.
Controversy
April 2006 - Melton was criticized for having potentially broken a
law when pulling over four school buses on the busy US I-220 bypass
in Jackson, Mississippi for individual hugs.
Um.... What the fuck?
|1.15.09 @ 2:17PM|#
@ Robert
I guessed "cheating at bowling". I think I was
close.
This isn't Nam, Robert, there are rules.
|1.15.09 @ 3:14PM|#
@ Robert
I guessed "cheating at bowling". I think I was close.
This isn't Nam, Robert, there are rules.
One toe over the liiiiiiine.
PFJ|1.15.09 @ 3:26PM|#
If this guy was mayor of Manchester in the late 1980's we would have never gotten the Happy Mondays or The Stone Roses. Think about that.
|1.15.09 @ 4:15PM|#
J. P. Carlo | January 15, 2009, 2:00pm | #
"Melton is scheduled to stand trial in federal court next month on civil rights charges related to a police-style raid on a Jackson duplex in 2006."
What exactly is a "police-style" raid? Is that like what Radley always posts about, but involving people who aren't actual cops?
In short, YES.
|1.15.09 @ 6:10PM|#
I dunno, calling it a "police-style" raid implies that it wasn't
conducted by actual cops. The one Kwix links to was, although they
took a neighborhood auxiliary of teenage vandals with them.
So, in my book, its still a police raid.
And what do you want to bet some the teenagers had low-rider
pants?
|1.15.09 @ 7:01PM|#
Dateline - July 7, 2008
July 7: Flint cops crack down on pants
Flint residents now have to watch their butts because Police Chief
David Dicks is on the lookout.
Dicks, who took over the department last month on an interim basis,
announced that his officers would start arresting people wearing
saggy pants that expose skivvies, boxer shorts or bare
bottoms.
Other headlines:
DICKS ATTACKS EXPOSED BUTTS
WHEN PANTS SAG, DICKS CRACKS DOWN
MEMBERS OF PUBLIC SUPPORT DICKS IN BUTT VIOLATIONS
|1.15.09 @ 7:08PM|#
Dateline - January 14, 2009
U.S. charges Flint chief of police with illegally taking public
funds
The city's interim police chief was charged today with illegally
receiving public money through a no-show job at a security company
run by his father.
David Dicks appeared in federal court in Flint on a criminal
complaint and was released on $25,000 bond.
The complaint says Dicks received nearly $47,000 from City Security
Guard Co. over a two-year period ending in July 2007.
At the same time, however, he was actually working as a police
officer or attending classes at Mott Community College, according
to the U.S. Labor Department, which interviewed other security
employees and examined Dicks' timesheets.
Alternate headlines:
DICKS EXPOSED
DICKS DOUBLE-DIPPING
DICKS SLAPPED FOR BACKDOOR ACTIVITIES
Headlines we hope to see eventually:
DICKS OUT
DICKS TO DO HARD TIME
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