The Onion's Sweet Farewell to Ron Paul

Strangely un-snarky, charming and apt while still funny, farewell to the Ron Paul Movement from this week's Onion:

After piling the last of his Campaign for Liberty signs in the back of a beat-up Ford truck Thursday, Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) once again abandoned his candidacy for president and rode on out toward the low western sun, but not before vowing to come back to Washington "when [the country] is ready." "When the river swirls and the wind blows, and when uncontrollable inflation forces us to revert to the gold standard, and the Federal Reserve bank is exposed as the unconstitutional, neofascist cabal it really is, you'll see me coming over that hill," said Paul, leaving a dusty cowboy hat and a stack of "no" votes on his seat in the House of Representatives. "But don't you fret, America. If you ever feel like your government is getting too big or too intrusive, just give a little whistle, and there I'll be. I'll be there quicker'n you can spit." Although no one has seen or heard from the Texas congressman since Thursday, sources report the Ron Paul for President campaign has gained an additional $2.3 million in contributions since his disappearance.

My reason cover feature from the midst of the Ron Paul movement, back in February.

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  • ||

    So long, Funny Man.

  • ||

    SHANE! oh wait
    PAUL! Paul, come back!

  • Lester Hunt||

    Is there something wrong with me? As a Paulista, I don't feel ridiculed by this at all. It seems kinda poetical-like, in fact.

  • Bug||

    Don't worry Lester. The Onion wasn't mocking you, me, or Ron.

    [T]Reason was just -again- trying to go out of its way to poke Ron in the eye. Golly, it's getting tiresome.

  • sage||

    Drink!

  • libertarian democrat||

    Bug, reason seems to be doing nothing of the sort.

    As another big RP supporter, I thought it was a funny but (mostly) respectful article. Especially for the Onion. It makes me wonder if he has some fans there too.

  • ||

    Settle down, Francis. That is as close as the Onion comes to writing a tribute to someone.

    Some people can't get out of bed in the morning without the sweet sensation of being a victim. Sheesh.

  • $||

    If I miss something, I can usually count on Hit & Run to remind me about it a week later.

  • Lefiti||

    Ah, isn't that sweet? What is this, Be Nice to Racist old Fucks week?

  • ||

    Given The Onion's treatment of Laura Bush ("I just wish I could stop shitting blood"), I have to agree that this article was respectful...for The Onion.

  • ||

    Ah, the "racist" label. It is to the left, what "socialist" is to the right.

  • ||

    and yes, I'd say this is complementary at least.

  • The_Chef||

    Lefiti | November 7, 2008, 9:43am | #
    Ah, isn't that sweet? What is this, Be Nice to Racist old Fucks week?


    LOL WUT?

    Someone just feels like being a prick today I see.

  • idiotface||

    Lefiti, just checked the calendar. Its actually, Be Nice to A Typical White Person week.

  • ||

    Given The Onion's treatment of Laura Bush ("I just wish I could stop shitting blood")

    Ok, you have to link to this. I didn't realize The Onion went that far.

    Dee: I feel good, too, apart from the recent bouts of explosive diarrhea.

    Dennis: Oh, you've been having diarrhea?

    Dee: Oh, God, all over the place.

    Dennis: I, on the other hand, have not taken a shit in days.

  • Warty||

    Epi, let's skip the exercise and just do the supplements.

  • ||

    Warty, and then when I walk out, I'm gonna put a bunch of metal onto a metal bar and lift that metal over and over like a metal jerk.

  • Bingo||

    The thought of a stack of "No" votes brought a smile to my face :)

  • robc||

    joe,

    Who was that directed at? No one who posted before you acted victimized?

  • robc||

    Out to eat last night, I saw that Paul was being interviewed by one of the cable news channels, cnn maybe. Anyone see it? Context? No sound or subtitling so I dont know what was going on.

  • Rick H.||

    The Onion's Weekender cover

  • ||

    it's clear to me and many others that Reason prefers beltway politics over simple, sound and working solutions as Ron Paul proposed. I suppose it's another reason they can't stand lewrockwell.com

    Those who defend liberty know who we can trust and whom we can't. Liberty minded people can't trust Reason for news, etc.

  • economist||

    Lefiti's just on his period. Yes, I know, men don't have periods, but Lefiti is very special...

  • ||

    robc,

    It was directed at Bug.

    Bug | November 7, 2008, 9:26am | #

    Don't worry Lester. The Onion wasn't mocking you, me, or Ron.

    [T]Reason was just -again- trying to go out of its way to poke Ron in the eye. Golly, it's getting tiresome.

  • ||

    The Onion's Weekender cover

    Excellent. Thanks.

  • ||

    Jim: Where you headed, cowboy?
    Bart: Nowhere special.
    Jim: Nowhere special; I always wanted to go there.

  • robc||

    joe,

    But bug agreed that the Onion wasnt mocking Paul or us (us not including you, of course). So I still dont get your post.

  • ||

    robc,

    [T]Reason was just -again- trying to go out of its way to poke Ron in the eye. Golly, it's getting tiresome.

    What's the problem?

  • libertarian democrat||

    joe,

    I think that you said only that the Onion isn't making fun of RP (which Bug also said) which doesn't clarify that Reason is also not making fun of RP (because they basically added nothing insulting and just quoted the Onion. I thought your post was clear but textually there is a step missing.

  • robc||

    joe,

    That isnt a shot at the Onion though.

    You said "Settle down, Francis. That is as close as the Onion comes to writing a tribute to someone."

    That has nothing to do with treason.com

  • ||

    we are libertarians - self immolation is just part of the warm up. Seriously, what is the problem?

  • libertarian democrat||

    Forgot my ). Anyway, what you said was pretty clear but it doesn't explicitly state the point that Reason is also not making fun of him.

  • libertarian democrat||

    robc,

    Do you seriously see a link between reason posting a non-insulting Onion link about RP and reason insulting RP? Because that is what Bug seems to see.

  • Richard Nixon||

    Let me make one thing perfectly clear.

  • robc||

    lib dem,

    No, I dont. If joe had critized bug about the reason comment, I would be in agreement. But the "settle down Francis" bit was on the onion comment. Which is what confused me.

    Also, the quote is "Lighten up, Francis". :)

  • Norbert Sykes||

    Do people not read before they post...do y'all just google "ron paul" every morning and if Reason comes up do you instantly start posting about it being [T]Reason and how it unfairly characterizes Dr. Paul?

    How does this preface "Strangely un-snarky, charming and apt while still funny" seem to be a slam. Was it the title of the entry?

    I feel like eating some cat food, huffing some glue and drinking a little beer in the hope that all the ridiculous posts will fade away.

  • robc||

    Psycho: The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.

    Leon: Ooooooh.

    Psycho: You just made the list, buddy. Also, I don't like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. And I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.

    Sergeant Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.

  • ||

    Some people can't get out of bed in the morning without the sweet sensation of being a victim.

    QFT.

  • Ska||

    Reading comprehension FTL.

    If it's any consolation joe, I understood what you were saying. Now tell Jesse Walker to put up a thread with a title from Entertainment!.

  • ||

    But the "settle down Francis" bit was on the onion comment. Which is what confused me.



    O RLY? So how is it I understood what joe was saying. What's the difference between a fairly neutral link to an article and the article itself?

  • ||

    What Norbert Sykes said.

  • libertarian democrat||

    Yeah, I agree the text wasn't quite there, but I got what Joe meant as well (at least it seems like I did).

    What is the Francis/Psycho a reference to, though?

  • ||

    God - just read the funny article, chuckle, and go away. Don't deconstruct everything, people. It's an onion article, after all...

  • Ska||

    Stripes


    Jesus, man.

  • Richard Nixon||

    I'm downsizing my expectations.

  • ||

    I feel like eating some cat food, huffing some glue and drinking a little beer in the hope that all the ridiculous posts will fade away.

    Norbert, you just had yourself a glue OD, and those are pretty regular in my life, so you learned another lesson: don't do too much glue or your night sucks.

  • Brian Defferding||

    Great stuff as always from The Onion. I think those guys have an bit of an affinity for Ron Paul.

  • robc||

    Famous things thrown off bridges in Louisville:

    Ali's gold medal.
    Bill Murray's car keys in Stripes.

  • robc||

    Has anyone seen Stripes in the last 15 years? Is it still really funny or has it gotten slow?

  • Ska||

    It's been getting some play on Starz or Cinemax (east coast), and watching it again it was still funny. But it wouldn't stand up to, say, 3 views in a year at this point.

  • ||

    Epi,
    Sunny in Philly kinda sucked last night. What happened?

  • robc||

    Ska,

    It was one of those movies that I saw about 3000 times on cable in the early-mid 80s.

    Maybe I will watch it again when its been around long enough to move to some classic movie channel. Although, at 27 years old, its getting close.

  • robc||

    Huh, just learned 2 things from imdb.

    1. Sean Young was one of the MPs in Stripes. It was only her 2nd role, I just never connected that it was her.

    2. We share a birthplace, although 10 years apart.

  • charlie||

    To the posters bashing Reason on this thread:

    Brian Doherty's one of the good guys -- check out his writings on the Paul campaign before you trash him. Your time would be much better spent mocking the pro-war liberventionists Moynihan and Michael Young, for starters.

  • ||

    Epi,
    Sunny in Philly kinda sucked last night. What happened?


    The whole "historical setting" episode format is a total loser for anyone to try, and when I saw that they were doing it, I was prepared for total suckage. It is a testament to how funny they are that the episode was merely mediocre.

    But yeah, it's way under their usual level. Never, never, never try to present hip modern humor in a historical setting. It just does. Not. Work.

  • ||

    I just recently started watching It's Always Sunny... though. Awesome.

  • ||

    I agree with Charlie...Doherty is almost Balko level. I still can't believe Chapman was agaisnt he bailout...the guy really made up some ground in my book.

    It would be fun to read S Young talking about the bailout...it would be something like ..."it may seem unlibertarian, but he terrorist palestinians would love to see the bailout fail so we must hold our noses and not give in to the anti-semites, after all if we can't save JP Morgan Chase then what good is freedom"

  • ||

    what are we talking about here?

    we speak of freedom and revolution.

    Oh lets start by taking down all of your first and last names.

  • ||

    The other MP was played by P.J. Soles. Whatever happened to her?

  • robc||

    The other MP was played by P.J. Soles. Whatever happened to her?

    imdb shows her still working. Although mostly in stuff Ive never heard of. She has done 35 acting gigs since Stripes, including some current and soon to be released stuff.

    Does doing 1 or 2 TV show episodes a year pay the bills? Maybe the Dennis Quaid alimony checks are really big?

  • BakedPenguin||

    Maybe the Dennis Quaid alimony checks are really big?

    Well, he did star in Innerspace.

  • ||

    Ron Paul will be back, the rEVOLution lives on and a great many people are waking up. Oh, don't worry with the Obama administration, your 401k's are going to be confiscated and moved into a government controlled investment. And then when you pass away, your heirs will receive ONLY 50% of your 401k. The other 50%?, well that goes back to you guessed it, government. We have to pay down the national debt somehow. Ron Paul would NEVER take your savings or liberties.

  • ||

    2. We share a birthplace, although 10 years apart.

    robc... you're 59-years-old? I would have never guessed. You have the posting stamina of a young Harrison Ford.

  • economist||

    "Let's start by taking first and last names."

    John Fake

  • ||

    Let's just hope when 2012 rolls around, that we'll still be allowed to vote .... once americans see that the socialist agenda isn't the answer to a neo-conservative one...meanwhile the campaign for liberty will be feverishly working on a local level to put more Ron Paul style candidates in congress and senate as well as in local and state government positions. The revolution has not died......the big media outlets just don't find it worth covering.....this will work to our advantage.....4 years is plenty of time to educate and facilitate liberty mindedness....

  • Brian Doherty||

    Did none of the angry Paulistas see the words "sweet", "un-snarky" and "charming" in this? It isn't even as if I presented this without any obvious framing; and I framed it as, well, read the above. This obviously came from a great deal of affection and admiration for Ron, rare for the ONION; and I linked it with the same affection and admiration, as per EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WRITTEN ABOUT RON PAUL.

  • ||

    "Ah, isn't that sweet? What is this, Be Nice to Racist old Fucks week?"

    Racist? You're behind the times Lefiti: A racist is anyone who wins a fight with a liberal. In fact, call me one too - ooooh! that feels so gooood!

  • ||

    Gee...one really has to wonder why the Gentile controlled media ousted Ron Paul. REALLY strange.

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    With many new announcement about the wizard of oz movies in the news, you might want to consider starting to obtain Wizard of Oz book series either as collectible or investment at RareOzBooks.com.

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