I Would Just Like to Point out That John McCain Tonight Proposed Nationalizing All Bad Mortgages

Just wanted to see if that looked any saner on the page. Nope, no it doesn't.

So, what other economic Hail Marys can we expect to see before Election Day? Guaranteed federal insurance for those who bet it all on red? A new green job from Barack Obama for every American who reduces his or her carbon footprint? McCain offers to nationalize Starbucks because "they just don't seem to be doing as well these days"? Your predictions requested in the comments.

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  • Jeff||

    Buy a house, get one free!

  • ||

    "Give me 10 % of your income and you never die!"

  • ||

    matt these are some of your best joke predictions since "Angels beat the Cubs in six."

  • Jerry||

    Obama offers to buy up the student debt of sociology majors.

  • ||

    I would like to offer myself up as a "test subject" for President Obama to nationalize. All I need is a 10 million dollar subsidized loan, and I will prove I can get 1 million dollars per year interest, an absolute vindication of Obama's sterling economic sense:)

  • ||

    NASDAQ 5000! NASDAQ 5000!

  • Matt Welch||

    matt these are some of your best joke predictions since "Angels beat the Cubs in six."

    Were you that gloating 508 area code text message I got the other night?

  • ||

    The McCain camp has been real critical of Obama's connection to Mr. Ayers of that weather underground. Well, it is raining here for the first time in over a month and I am so thankful to Obama for it. McCain just don't want us poor folks to have anything.

  • gmatts||

    McCain names Brokaw Treasury Sec., rescinding his debate pledge not to.

  • ||

    Nah, actually my area code is 860 which technically makes me not a masshole, which I suppose makes me even more of one.

  • ||

    McCain appoints Chuck Norris as sec. of defense. Promises vets to whoop Charlies ass and get the troops home in victory with dignity and honor.

  • Elemenope||

    Even by barely-not-socialist S.O. yelped at that one. Nationalizing mortgages? Wasn't he just talking about reducing spending? And then let's come back to the part where he's NATIONALIZING MORTGAGES?!

  • Elemenope||

    Nah, actually my area code is 860 which technically makes me not a masshole, which I suppose makes me even more of one.

    No, it makes you a Connecticunt. And that, for future reference, is a gender-neutral term. ;)

  • ||

    Question: if you re fi the home loan at the new, lower appraisal, who eats the difference?
    And can I get my car loan done too at current bluebook?

  • Elemenope||

    Question: if you re fi the home loan at the new, lower appraisal, who eats the difference?
    And can I get my car loan done too at current bluebook?


    And let's talk about them there school loans...

  • The Wine Commonsewer||

    I Would Just Like to Point out That John McCain Tonight Proposed Nationalizing All Bad Mortgages

    Thought we already did that. [shrugs]

    Of course, I was pretty sure we already had bought Louisiana too.

  • ||

    twc, if we own Louisiana, why cain't we get no fuckin gas in Alabama?

  • ||

    McCain, next debate:

    Let's pay Puerto Rico to get the fuck of the United States. Turns out it is full of Puerto Ricans--who knew?

  • alan||

    On one of the networks, I think it was Charlie Gibson, I was still drinking at the time so it blurs together, but, he was interviewing a group of college kids, and some of them, at least three, I recall, expressed what sounded like anger at McCain for not even mentioning student loans and what he can do for them and they did so in the most disdainful voice you can imagine. Oh those ingrate shitheads deserve the nozzle end of a flamethower.

  • alan||

    henry | October 8, 2008, 1:49am | #
    McCain, next debate:

    Let's pay Puerto Rico to get the fuck of the United States. Turns out it is full of Puerto Ricans--who knew?


    Oh, and Henry, how much can I pay you to shut the fuck up. Of all the problems in the world, you choose Puerto Ricans? Really, that is what you are going with?

  • alan||

    and Henry, all those students asking for handouts and an ass kiss I mentioned above? Caucazoids with a certain definitive honkitude about them.

  • ||

    Alan, can you really blame them? Santa Claus is coming to town and all he is bringing them is a lump of coal--purchased from China, with money we borrowed from China, and we are going to be leaving the tab for the deal for ingrate shitheads.

  • ||

    Dude, I am channeling the McCainiac next around. That fucker is so out of control he is likely to say anything.

    Lighten the fuck up, my man.

  • ||

    The Federal Reserve Bank starts issuing credit cards directly to Americans. 5% cash back if you buy American.

  • alan||

    alright man, I was thinking about it while on the crapper, and I might have been too harsh. McCain ain't the only one having trouble forcing a noogie out
    tonight. Me'bad.

  • ||

    Obama is such a lock at this point, I can't even get any bets anymore.
    And McCain conclusively demonstrated he is not fit to be president.

    Good-night.

  • ||

    It is all Bill Clinton's fault.

  • Justen||

    If McCain, he follows his trend of redefining political terminology, changing the word "bipartisan" to mean "without the participation of congress", changing "conservative" to mean "nationalist", changing "capitalism" to mean "state socialism" (this is already largely accomplished by his political faction so it'll be quick, easy and not costly to the tax-payer) and wrapping all the national security and intelligence institutions into one safe, efficient, effective department that runs on military spoils instead of tax money and capitalizes on social volunteerism named "reat Grandfather". If that sounds a little scary, don't worry: happiness will be mandatory, and it will all be in the name of freedom. Country first!

  • wickscherrycoke||

    Just to be fair, I could have sworn I heard Obama say something like nationalizing mortgages was "an important place to start," but was not nearly enough.

  • ||

    Admittedly I'm not exactly knowledgeable, but when heard that oil companies had to "use it or lose it" I read that as a possible threat to nationalize the oil industry...

  • Libby J||

    I know I'm sacrificing my libertarian-cred, I would *totally* support a federal bailout of Starbucks. In fact, I support subsidizing Starbucks coffee for consumers... they're kinda expensive. ;P

  • ||

    I would like a pony.

  • ||

    Obama pledges Tooth Fairy tooth-bounty will be increased to $1.63 (with legislated annual increases for inflation). McCain pledges a tooth-bounty of "a reasonable amount."

    Obama demands 100% marginal tax rates on the income of Evil People over $102,853.

    McCain promises homeowners will be awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom.

    Palin commits to expanding annual subsidy program for Alaskan residents to all US citizens.

    Biden offers every new young family "40 acres and a hybrid."

  • Uncle Bob||

    I think I'll default on my loan if McCain gets elected. Wish I had bought a bigger house.

  • ||

    I'm going to be banging this drum for awhile.
    How many people is MCain willing to "toss out of their* homes", in order to convince delinquent borrowers that they really should start paying their bills on time?

    Get in arrears now, lest the gravy train leave without you.

    * If they haven't paid for it, it isn't thiers. Don't expect any politician to point out that inconvenient truth.

  • ||

    I would like a pony.



    There's got to be some godamn ponies somewhere around here.

    All this horseshit had to come from somewhere.

  • ||

    John McCain needs to nationalize the porn industry if the government is going to have a consistent profit driver.

  • ||

    Isn't setting policy for the expressed purpose of setting a floor under declining real estate values what put Japan, Inc. in the crapper for a decade?

    I can see how a good policy reponse to the mortgage meltdown could have a price stabilization at some point as a second- or third-order effect, but setting out to put a floor under real estate prices seems like a really bad idea.

  • LarryA||

    There's got to be some godamn ponies somewhere around here.

    You mean from the government? Ask and ye shall receive.

  • LarryA||

    I can see how a good policy response to the mortgage meltdown could have a price stabilization at some point as a second- or third-order effect, but setting out to put a floor under real estate prices seems like a really bad idea.

    Talking point:

    How many of you have high school seniors or college students? Don't you want them to start their own family in the next couple of years? Don't you want them to move into their own house? Don't you want to send your grandchildren to their home when they get cranky? Why vote for someone who will keep housing prices high, so your kids and grandkids will end up living with you?

    It's for the children!

  • ||

    joe is (surprisingly) correct. Nobody knows what the price of housing should be. Nobody! Although prices have declined recently, they are still higher than they were just a few years ago. If the price wants to go down, even the government is powerless to stop it.

  • ||

    Question: if you re fi the home loan at the new, lower appraisal, who eats the difference?

    Why, the taxpayers, of course.

    Forcing refis at lower values will crash whatever banks are left standing, who will have to be saved by a government bailout financed by you, the taxpayer.

  • ||

    If the price wants to go down, even the government is powerless to stop it.

    Well, the government could probably pump enough money in to stop real estate prices from falling. It would just be really expensive.

    Then I can get a refi to cover my taxes. Yay!

  • ||

    LarryA,

    If there's no credit market - no mortgages, no builders' loans - nobody's going to be buying houses.

  • Zeb||

    I've been waiting for years for house prices and the stock market to go down. A lot. Seemed pretty obvious to me that it was a bubble that had to pop. Why is this such a surprise to so many people?

    I had to laugh at calling people who owe more than their house is worth "home owners".

  • ||

    With Obama you will get Blowjobs and Pizza. With McCain you will just get Pizza. Thats about the only difference I see in the two.

  • ||

    It seems the only people who aren't getting a bailout are the individual investors, who are down somewhere between 20-50% of their IRA values or retirement savings. Of course these are the people who have worked hard, carried the tax load, subsidized the lazy and the poor, will get stuck with the costs of these bailouts, and probably have not had their hands out to government once in their life. I think they are called "Suckers" in the back rooms of political strategy. Do we get kissed this time, or just screwed again?

  • LarryA||

    If there's no credit market - no mortgages, no builders' loans - nobody's going to be buying houses.

    If a bank owns several vacant repossessed houses it will write some kind of loan to anyone who can make some kind of payment. (Absent government roadblocks.)

    There may also be an expansion of the rental market as people with cash take advantage of the opportunity.

  • ||

    McCain: And, according to the TelePrompter, we are going to subsidize prostitution.

    ...wait. That's not exactly what it says. What I meant to say is "You all are fucked."

  • Jlarsen||

    Funny, too bad he lost the election - he never got the chance to nationalize loans.

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