Rich Lowry in Love

National Review's editor on Sarah Palin:

I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.

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  • dhex||

    studly rich lowry pleasuring himself on his couch during the vp debates is totally the mental image i needed to get me through this fine, fine day mr. balko.

    thanks a fuckin' million.

  • how far we\'ve come||

    lowry's criterion for a female candidate is that she give him an erection?

  • anarch||

    Exactly the qualities by which one assesses the merits of a Chief Executive, right?

  • BDB||

    Someone needs to get that man laid.

  • Eric Cartman||

    Oh, you guys, I think Rich is in love.

  • economist||

    However, this is slightly less disturbing than the Obamabimbos, in part because Sarah actually is mildly attractive.

  • Wowhead||

    Gag me with a pitchfork.

  • Brandybuck||

    I agree with ecnomist. Who is better adjusted mentally, the guy who gets an erection when a female candidate winks at him, or the gal who squeals in delight when a candidate promises even more government force, coercion and intervention in their lives?

  • ||

    Shoe's on the other foot. Don't tell me that JFK and Clinton didn't hustle the chick vote exactly the same way. Everything old is new again.

  • ||

    "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.



    John Hinckley, your shrink wants to see you. Immediately.

  • ||

    I want to know when someone from MTV, or actually Spike TV is going to ask Palin... "so governor Palin, which is it, Bikini or Thong?"

  • ||

    matt in cincy,

    or, "Gov. Palin, smooth, landingstrip, or
    good lord sarah, I need a snorkel and a weedeater©?"

  • gmatts||

    William F. Buckley must be proud.

  • Kyle Jordan||

    Screw the bikini or thong question. Someone needs to ask if she takes it in the ass more now after the fifth kid.

  • Nigel Watt||

    Does that mean National Review will be supporting gay marriage soon? "Little starbursts"?

  • ||

    McCain should have picked,or as palin put it, tapped Jessica Simpson for veep. I mean, as long as dumb cunt is the requirement, why settle for second best?

  • ||

    Screw the bikini or thong question. Someone needs to ask if she takes it in the ass more now after the fifth kid.

    I like the way you think, dude.

    I can't believe Lowry had the balls to write that. How enamored with a person do you have to be to think such a statement isn't fucking pathetic?

  • ||

    Here's what makes me go hmmmmmmmmmm.... about the Glamorous Guv: I'm 7 years older than Mrs. Palin. I think she's cute, even if her daughter is making her a grandma a bit earlier than she might have hoped. When David Letterman cracked that she reminded him of the weekend anchor on the Channel 9 news, it was funny because it was true. She is a former TV sporstscaster, after all.

    My fantasy life is probably tamer than Lowry's, but I still get a mild flutter out of an age-appropriate crush, e.g. Dana Delany. But, hey, I'm a single guy, and I've got nothing against a hot brunette. [Many's the time I've lamented not having anything against a hot brunette, actually.] But is NR's sainted rich a married man? Is he lusting in his heart after another man's wife? What do our SoCon friends think about indulging such base impulses?

    As for Ms. Simpson, I don't think she's 35 yet, and she should in no wise be diverted from her important role as Distraction Messing With Tony Romo's Head.

    Kevin

  • ktc2||

    As I said on the Friday thread:

    The "folksy" bullshit really just seemed completely insincere and contrived, but apparently the fundy/redneck hordes are eating it up.

    These people clearly live full retard:

    WordNutDaily VP Debate Poll

  • ||

    Excuse me while I barf.

  • Tom W (Fla. not FL)||

    If Sarah Palin looked like Barbara Mikulski, she wouldn't be half as popular. I'm just sayin'.

    I bet you a good number of people think, fellas, especially, that since there isn't a dime's worth, so why not have a VP who's easy on the eyes? The fact she's associated with stuff like hunting and snowmobiles doesn't hurt either.

  • Kyle Jordan||

    Episiarch,

    Thanks. Back at you man.

    kevrob,

    You bring up a damn fine point about Lowry's thoughts and how they may be received on his flock. So to speak.

    And about Dana Delany too. I was 15 or so when I saw "Live Nude Girls" on Cinemax and she's been one of my top 5 ever since and to this day. Good taste my friend.

  • ||

    Man, this loser must flush a ton of dough at the strip clubs--"Oh my God, I think she likes me!"

  • economist||

    "Does she take it in the ass more after the fifth kid?"
    Wow, that's even creepier than some of the things Anonymous posters have put here.

  • anarch||

    J sub D @ 10:38 = da winnah.

  • economist||

    I don't get attracted to female politicians for two reasons:
    1. They're usually older and not attractive at all.
    2. Even if they are attractive, they'll do something that'll piss me off and I can never forgive them for, so it's best not to be enamored of them in the first place.

  • Naga Sadow||

    I gotta say that Palin as a candidate is fucking up my life lately. She's causeing friends to go full retard on issues they used to not care about.

  • The Wine Commonsewer||

    Exactly the qualities by which one assesses the merits of a Chief Executive, right?

    Worked pretty fargin' good for JFK, thankee.

  • The Wine Commonsewer||

    Dear Rich:

    Palin is an attractive woman with a nice way about her and what seems to be a pleasing personality. She looks good on TV.

    Be Advised, however, Miss Sarah is NOT a chick who bends over and cause full melt down including an inability to remember your name.

    Now, for the rest of you who are blowing your groceries into the trash can, I think Lowry may be engaging in a little hyperbole to make the point that Palin comes across the TV screen well (some of the jokes are great though).

    McCain needs that cuz he ain't so good at it and Obama is.

  • Tony Borell||

    what's hyperbole precious

  • Tony Borell||

    Damn it, The Wine Commonsewer beat me to it >=(

  • ev||

    i want to hate fuck her so bad.

  • MAX HATS||

    I know Kathryn Jean Lopez needs some love. Those kids are adorable. Someone should introduce them.

  • Elemenope||

    i want to hate fuck her so bad.

    I believe the technical term is "hate rail".

    Or so I've heard. (Kids these days!)

  • ||

    ev | October 4, 2008, 1:08pm | #

    i want to hate fuck her so bad.



    I'm sure you will, if you ever get the chance :-}

  • gmatts||

    "I know Kathryn Jean Lopez needs some love."

    She probably has lots and lots of cats that lover her dearly.

  • gmatts||

    Subtract the r in love

  • ||

    It's better with the "r".

  • Chris Matthews||

    When I see Barack Obama, I get a thrill up my leg!

  • Sarah Palin||

    The "folksy" bullshit really just seemed completely insincere and contrived, but apparently the fundy/redneck hordes are eating it up.

    Darn right!

  • darn tight||

    Someone needs to ask if she takes it in the ass more now after the fifth kid.

    She sure took it in the ass from Katie Couric who used that interview like it was a strap-on.

  • ||

    Darn right!

    Sarah is actually a genius, because she knows how to be exactly the right amount of dumb for her target audience. Don't you see? It's brilliant!

  • ||

    Personally, she reminds me of that movie "Secretary." I feel less guilty for warming to Cynthia McKinney everyday, because i think she's the only one who would really take money away from the security apparatus on all levels. Yeah she'd give it all sorts of social programs, but I wouldn't mind standing in the toilet paper line if i was high.

    Cynthia Mckinney....because, god knows, cops need to be smacked.

    I hope this post brought a smile, with all this depressing financial drama we could use one.

  • Elemenope||

    Cynthia Mckinney....because, god knows, cops need to be smacked.

    Hmm.

    I hope this post brought a smile, with all this depressing financial drama we could use one.

    I almost smiled, until I realized she'd just fuck us over in a different and equally uncomfortable way. And she is earnestly un-cynical, which makes her *way* more dangerous than the other guys.

  • ||

    I wouldn't mind standing in the toilet paper line if i was high

    Yeah, but what about drunk, or on some poppers? That would suck.

  • Kyle Jordan||

    "I hope this post brought a smile, with all this depressing financial drama we could use one."

    Well, after you mentioned the Secretary I pictured Palin, days removed from the debate still ardently clutching the podium, staring blankly out in to space with the occasional wink, having soiled herself and awaiting John McCain to come wisk her away home.

    So thanks for the laugh.

  • fortyouncer||

    Maybe because I am younger I don't see it.

    I mean, I wouldn't kick her out of bed, but hot? Meh....

  • Shadow of the Past||

    I can't believe Lowry had the balls to write that. How enamored with a person do you have to be to think such a statement isn't fucking pathetic?

    Indeed. It brings back memories from when Kerry Howley used to work here.

  • ||

    Hmm. Nothing really to add.

    However...

    Is the fifteen minutes almost up on the phrase "full retard" yet? It's almost as tired as "set it and forget it" (ok, there's a Ronco infomercial on the tv in the other room).

  • Elemenope||

    Is the fifteen minutes almost up on the phrase "full retard" yet?

    I haven't even seen Tropic Thunder yet, and I know a useful idiom when I see one. It will peter out into the background noise soon enough. It's just that it's silly season, and so it is that much more applicable...

  • ||

    Lowry's next blog post:

    My God, I didn't say that out loud, did I? I just thought it, right?

  • Hogan||

    MAX HATS was funny.

  • Elemenope||

    Some people think bare ankles are a come-on.

    Some people juggle baby geese.

    For his particular brand of conservative, I guess inarticulate is an aphrodisiac. Odd, when you consider he edits a magazine.

  • NTTAWTT||

    Well, when placed against the sucking of W's dick for the better part of this decade, one thing about Lowry's Palin crush is that at least it's hetero.

  • Jerry||

    I can imagine Sarah Palin will make you wiggly in the pants when you have to work with Kathryn Jean Lopez all day.

  • ||

    My Obama poster's all sticky now.

  • Or do I really want to know?||

    What's the third T in NTTAWTT stand for?

  • Elemenope||

    What's the third T in NTTAWTT stand for?

    If I may be so bold, I imagine he or she meant to type "NTTAWWT".

    A slip of the finger. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

  • F as in Foxtrot||

    Yes, it should have been W as in Whiskey not T as in Tango.

  • ||

    Whoever's posting as me, get it straight:

    My mancrushes are on John Kerry and Theo Epstein.

    He only signed Julio Lugo to fake you all out.

  • ||

    It is funny to see how Sarah Palin is making Republicans eat their words from this summer.

    So how's that "biggest celebrity in the world" thing going?

    Month after month of deriding supporters of Obama as having crushes on him, and Rich Lowry puts this little paen to self-abuse out, channeling KJL from Flight Suit Day. Paw paw paw.

    I think we're about 36 hours from Sarah Palin showing everyone how to check their tire pressure.

    That's ok. You didn't really want those "identity politics," "affirmative action" and "inexperienced" arguments anyway.

  • Dodger fan||

    My mancrushes are on John Kerry and Theo Epstein.

    You're not the only one loving himself some Theo right now. How sweet is it going to be when Boston is paying Manny to beat them in the World Series? Maybe he can drop by the Red Sox clubhouse before the game to pick up his check in person.

  • economist||

    "My mancrushes are on John Kerry..."
    Um, do you fuck horses?

  • economist||

    "You don't really want those...arguments anyway".
    No, I've always liked arguing about which candidate is more attractive rather than their relative merits, because I think most pols are vile scum at heart and their relative merits are therefore insignificant.

  • economist||

    I just realized that I'm not sure whether or not I was being sarcastic in that last post.

  • ||

    I think it's great for Manny that he got to face National League pitching. He's like a whole new man.

  • ||

    Whoever's posting as me, get it straight:

    My mancrushes are on John Kerry and Theo Epstein.


    I'm pretty sure that "get it straight" is not the most accurate phrase for joe to describe his mancrushes.

    Unless he's biologically female and had the operation to pass as a man.

    And I've seen compelling evidence in his posts that joe would like to blow plenty of statist Democrat dick -- NTTAWWT.

    P.S. Mandatory disclaimer -- the above is all meant in jest, in keeping with the tenor of the rest of this thread. So no going all huhu on me, mmm-kay?

  • Elemenope||

    HUHU!!!

  • Mark Bahner||

    Another example of the breathtaking heights of conservative political thought in the U.S. today.

    And that doesn't even deal with the moral questionablity of a (married?) conservative who is pleased that a woman who is married with children might be winking at him.

  • ||

    "She knew she was doing well..."

    Really? My take on it was "I'd love to play poker against this chick because whenever she knows she's in trouble she starts smiling like her beauty queen background might get her through it."

    Seriously. The smiling is what she does when she knows she has NO IDEA WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT. Lowry is an idiot.

  • ed||

    All this angst over a VP candidate whose boss is going to lose anyway. I'll give her one thing: she's less evil than the majority of charlatans who have appeared in this interminable election melodrama.

  • Obvious||

    joe was born a man. He had surgery to become a Democrat.

  • ||

    Obvious wins the thread @ 8:23!

  • KT||

    Don't forget, everyone, the media is in the tank for Obama!

  • thoreau||

    I have usually acted all dismayed at threads like this, but that moral scold role isn't much fun. Instead, I'll just say this:

    "But mom, Rich Lowry started it!"

  • worst week EVER||

    Fuck Manny. Fuck the fucking Red Sox for sending him to the NL and fuck Ryan Dempster for walking the pitcher twice. Fuck Zambrano, Soriano, the umpires, and the equipment manager. In fact, fuck everyone everywhere.

    It was bad enough watching my country get Koran'd down the toilet with the bailout bill, without Fukudome leading the Cubs into hari-kiri.

  • duster||

    when it comes to people in government,

    not ugly = hot

  • Metal Messiah||

    She was winking?

    Looked like some kind of spasm or facial tick to me. Maybe it's something she does when she's lying?

  • ||

    Prolefeed has a hoo-hoo?

  • Famous Mortimer||

    Ah, the stereotypical irony of a bunch of virtual virgins picking apart a females appearance, and ranking it as something not within their standards.

    Only on the Internet. Oh, and every D&D gathering.

    The vast majority of you would be lucky to even get a "mildly" attractive woman to give you the time of day.

    The woman has wind blowing between her ears, but she is attractive, and anyone who claims otherwise is exercising more than just bad taste.

    After having read Libertarian forums for years, I am often compelled to wonder if Libertarians like anything.

    It's pretty much straight up, social retard nihilism.

  • ||

    Wait...criticizing a guy who publicly writes about his crush on a woman he's only seen on TV makes one socially retarded?

    In any case, just because you probably wouldn't be able to get with Minnie Driver in real life doesn't mean you must automatically think she's attractive.

  • ||

    It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.

    That's right up there with that cable news retard (I forget which one; they're all so interchangeable) that said Obama sent a tingle up his leg.

    Update: I see someone name-checked Chris Matthews upthread.

    If Sarah Palin looked like Barbara Mikulski, she wouldn't be half as popular.

    Yeah, and if Barack Obama looked like Charlie Rangel, he wouldn't be half as popular either. There's a reason why the old bald guy never wins, you know. People being the shallow fucks they are knows no party.

  • Mark||

    Can someone please help me understand exactly how much danger McCain put us in with his VP pick? Assuming he is elected and slips on a bar of soap Jan. 21, how would a Palin administration differ from a Clinton or Bush? Would she defer to some TBD Republican politico, or her husband, or perhaps someone will install a green button and a red button on her desk and she'll govern mostly with those?

  • ||

    Assuming he is elected and slips on a bar of soap Jan. 21, how would a Palin administration differ from a Clinton or Bush?

    Haven't you been following? She's an ignorant fundy loon who wants to put her moose-hunting skills to work rounding up Jews and black people. What more do you need to know?

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