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Rich Lowry in Love
National Review's editor on Sarah Palin:
I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.
dhex|10.4.08 @ 10:10AM|#
studly rich lowry pleasuring himself on his couch during the vp
debates is totally the mental image i needed to get me through this
fine, fine day mr. balko.
thanks a fuckin' million.
how far we\'ve come|10.4.08 @ 10:10AM|#
lowry's criterion for a female candidate is that she give him an erection?
anarch|10.4.08 @ 10:11AM|#
Exactly the qualities by which one assesses the merits of a Chief Executive, right?
economist|10.4.08 @ 10:23AM|#
However, this is slightly less disturbing than the Obamabimbos, in part because Sarah actually is mildly attractive.
Brandybuck|10.4.08 @ 10:36AM|#
I agree with ecnomist. Who is better adjusted mentally, the guy who gets an erection when a female candidate winks at him, or the gal who squeals in delight when a candidate promises even more government force, coercion and intervention in their lives?
|10.4.08 @ 10:36AM|#
Shoe's on the other foot. Don't tell me that JFK and Clinton didn't hustle the chick vote exactly the same way. Everything old is new again.
|10.4.08 @ 10:38AM|#
"Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.
John Hinckley, your shrink wants to see you. Immediately.
|10.4.08 @ 10:47AM|#
I want to know when someone from MTV, or actually Spike TV is going to ask Palin... "so governor Palin, which is it, Bikini or Thong?"
|10.4.08 @ 11:01AM|#
matt in cincy,
or, "Gov. Palin, smooth, landingstrip, or
good lord sarah, I need a snorkel and a weedeater©?"
Kyle Jordan|10.4.08 @ 11:03AM|#
Screw the bikini or thong question. Someone needs to ask if she takes it in the ass more now after the fifth kid.
Nigel Watt|10.4.08 @ 11:09AM|#
Does that mean National Review will be supporting gay marriage soon? "Little starbursts"?
|10.4.08 @ 11:19AM|#
McCain should have picked,or as palin put it, tapped Jessica Simpson for veep. I mean, as long as dumb cunt is the requirement, why settle for second best?
|10.4.08 @ 11:36AM|#
Screw the bikini or thong question. Someone needs to ask if
she takes it in the ass more now after the fifth kid.
I like the way you think, dude.
I can't believe Lowry had the balls to write that. How enamored
with a person do you have to be to think such a statement
isn't fucking pathetic?
|10.4.08 @ 11:45AM|#
Here's what makes me go hmmmmmmmmmm.... about the Glamorous Guv:
I'm 7 years older than Mrs. Palin. I think she's cute, even if her
daughter is making her a grandma a bit earlier than she might have
hoped. When David Letterman cracked that she reminded him of the
weekend anchor on the Channel 9 news, it was funny because it was
true. She is a former TV sporstscaster, after all.
My fantasy life is probably tamer than Lowry's, but I still get a
mild flutter out of an age-appropriate crush, e.g. Dana Delany.
But, hey, I'm a single guy, and I've got nothing against a hot
brunette. [Many's the time I've lamented not having anything
against a hot brunette, actually.] But is NR's sainted
rich a married man? Is he lusting in his heart after another man's
wife? What do our SoCon friends think about indulging such base
impulses?
As for Ms. Simpson, I don't think she's 35 yet, and she should in
no wise be diverted from her important role as Distraction Messing
With Tony Romo's Head.
Kevin
ktc2|10.4.08 @ 11:52AM|#
As I said on the Friday thread:
The "folksy" bullshit really just seemed completely insincere and
contrived, but apparently the fundy/redneck hordes are eating it
up.
These people clearly live full retard:
WordNutDaily
VP Debate Poll
Tom W (Fla. not FL)|10.4.08 @ 12:02PM|#
If Sarah Palin looked like Barbara Mikulski, she wouldn't be
half as popular. I'm just sayin'.
I bet you a good number of people think, fellas, especially, that
since there isn't a dime's worth, so why not have a VP who's easy
on the eyes? The fact she's associated with stuff like hunting and
snowmobiles doesn't hurt either.
Kyle Jordan|10.4.08 @ 12:03PM|#
Episiarch,
Thanks. Back at you man.
kevrob,
You bring up a damn fine point about Lowry's thoughts and how they
may be received on his flock. So to speak.
And about Dana Delany too. I was 15 or so when I saw "Live Nude
Girls" on Cinemax and she's been one of my top 5 ever since and to
this day. Good taste my friend.
|10.4.08 @ 12:15PM|#
Man, this loser must flush a ton of dough at the strip clubs--"Oh my God, I think she likes me!"
economist|10.4.08 @ 12:15PM|#
"Does she take it in the ass more after the fifth kid?"
Wow, that's even creepier than some of the things Anonymous posters
have put here.
economist|10.4.08 @ 12:18PM|#
I don't get attracted to female politicians for two
reasons:
1. They're usually older and not attractive at all.
2. Even if they are attractive, they'll do something that'll piss
me off and I can never forgive them for, so it's best not to be
enamored of them in the first place.
Naga Sadow|10.4.08 @ 12:22PM|#
I gotta say that Palin as a candidate is fucking up my life lately. She's causeing friends to go full retard on issues they used to not care about.
The Wine Commonsewer|10.4.08 @ 12:35PM|#
Exactly the qualities by which one assesses the merits of a
Chief Executive, right?
Worked pretty fargin' good for JFK, thankee.
The Wine Commonsewer|10.4.08 @ 12:42PM|#
Dear Rich:
Palin is an attractive woman with a nice way about her and what
seems to be a pleasing personality. She looks good on TV.
Be Advised, however, Miss Sarah is NOT a chick who bends over and
cause full melt down including an inability to remember your
name.
Now, for the rest of you who are blowing your groceries into the
trash can, I think Lowry may be engaging in a little hyperbole to
make the point that Palin comes across the TV screen well (some of
the jokes are great though).
McCain needs that cuz he ain't so good at it and Obama is.
MAX HATS|10.4.08 @ 1:18PM|#
I know Kathryn Jean Lopez needs some love. Those kids are adorable. Someone should introduce them.
Elemenope|10.4.08 @ 1:23PM|#
i want to hate fuck her so bad.
I believe the technical term is "hate rail".
Or so I've heard. (Kids these days!)
|10.4.08 @ 1:26PM|#
ev | October 4, 2008, 1:08pm | #
i want to hate fuck her so bad.
I'm sure you will, if you ever get the chance :-}
gmatts|10.4.08 @ 1:27PM|#
"I know Kathryn Jean Lopez needs some love."
She probably has lots and lots of cats that lover her dearly.
Sarah Palin|10.4.08 @ 3:02PM|#
The "folksy" bullshit really just seemed completely
insincere and contrived, but apparently the fundy/redneck hordes
are eating it up.
Darn right!
darn tight|10.4.08 @ 3:15PM|#
Someone needs to ask if she takes it in the ass more now
after the fifth kid.
She sure took it in the ass from Katie Couric who used that
interview like it was a strap-on.
|10.4.08 @ 3:23PM|#
Darn right!
Sarah is actually a genius, because she knows how to be exactly the
right amount of dumb for her target audience. Don't you see? It's
brilliant!
|10.4.08 @ 3:27PM|#
Personally, she reminds me of that movie "Secretary." I feel
less guilty for warming to Cynthia McKinney everyday, because i
think she's the only one who would really take money away from the
security apparatus on all levels. Yeah she'd give it all sorts of
social programs, but I wouldn't mind standing in the toilet paper
line if i was high.
Cynthia Mckinney....because, god knows, cops need to be
smacked.
I hope this post brought a smile, with all this depressing
financial drama we could use one.
Elemenope|10.4.08 @ 3:33PM|#
Cynthia Mckinney....because, god knows, cops need to be
smacked.
Hmm.
I hope this post brought a smile, with all this depressing
financial drama we could use one.
I almost smiled, until I realized she'd just fuck us over in a
different and equally uncomfortable way. And she is earnestly
un-cynical, which makes her *way* more dangerous than the other
guys.
|10.4.08 @ 3:38PM|#
I wouldn't mind standing in the toilet paper line if i was
high
Yeah, but what about drunk, or on some poppers? That would
suck.
Kyle Jordan|10.4.08 @ 3:42PM|#
"I hope this post brought a smile, with all this depressing
financial drama we could use one."
Well, after you mentioned the Secretary I pictured Palin, days
removed from the debate still ardently clutching the podium,
staring blankly out in to space with the occasional wink, having
soiled herself and awaiting John McCain to come wisk her away
home.
So thanks for the laugh.
fortyouncer|10.4.08 @ 3:46PM|#
Maybe because I am younger I don't see it.
I mean, I wouldn't kick her out of bed, but hot? Meh....
Shadow of the Past|10.4.08 @ 4:13PM|#
I can't believe Lowry had the balls to write that. How
enamored with a person do you have to be to think such a statement
isn't fucking pathetic?
Indeed. It brings back memories from when Kerry Howley used to work
here.
|10.4.08 @ 5:14PM|#
Hmm. Nothing really to add.
However...
Is the fifteen minutes almost up on the phrase "full retard" yet?
It's almost as tired as "set it and forget it" (ok, there's a Ronco
infomercial on the tv in the other room).
Elemenope|10.4.08 @ 5:26PM|#
Is the fifteen minutes almost up on the phrase "full retard"
yet?
I haven't even seen Tropic Thunder yet, and I know a
useful idiom when I see one. It will peter out into the background
noise soon enough. It's just that it's silly season, and so it is
that much more applicable...
|10.4.08 @ 5:31PM|#
Lowry's next blog post:
My God, I didn't say that out loud, did I? I just thought it,
right?
Elemenope|10.4.08 @ 7:43PM|#
Some people think bare ankles are a come-on.
Some people juggle baby geese.
For his particular brand of conservative, I guess inarticulate is
an aphrodisiac. Odd, when you consider he edits a magazine.
NTTAWTT|10.4.08 @ 7:50PM|#
Well, when placed against the sucking of W's dick for the better part of this decade, one thing about Lowry's Palin crush is that at least it's hetero.
Jerry|10.4.08 @ 8:30PM|#
I can imagine Sarah Palin will make you wiggly in the pants when you have to work with Kathryn Jean Lopez all day.
Elemenope|10.4.08 @ 9:25PM|#
What's the third T in NTTAWTT stand for?
If I may be so bold, I imagine he or she meant to type
"NTTAWWT".
A slip of the finger. Not that there's anything wrong with
that!
|10.4.08 @ 9:44PM|#
Whoever's posting as me, get it straight:
My mancrushes are on John Kerry and Theo Epstein.
He only signed Julio Lugo to fake you all out.
|10.4.08 @ 9:52PM|#
It is funny to see how Sarah Palin is making Republicans eat
their words from this summer.
So how's that "biggest celebrity in the world" thing going?
Month after month of deriding supporters of Obama as having crushes
on him, and Rich Lowry puts this little paen to self-abuse out,
channeling KJL from Flight Suit Day. Paw paw paw.
I think we're about 36 hours from Sarah Palin showing everyone how
to check their tire pressure.
That's ok. You didn't really want those "identity politics,"
"affirmative action" and "inexperienced" arguments anyway.
Dodger fan|10.4.08 @ 10:46PM|#
My mancrushes are on John Kerry and Theo Epstein.
You're not the only one loving himself some Theo right now. How
sweet is it going to be when Boston is paying Manny to beat them in
the World Series? Maybe he can drop by the Red Sox clubhouse before
the game to pick up his check in person.
economist|10.4.08 @ 11:06PM|#
"You don't really want those...arguments anyway".
No, I've always liked arguing about which candidate is more
attractive rather than their relative merits, because I think most
pols are vile scum at heart and their relative merits are therefore
insignificant.
economist|10.4.08 @ 11:11PM|#
I just realized that I'm not sure whether or not I was being sarcastic in that last post.
|10.4.08 @ 11:26PM|#
I think it's great for Manny that he got to face National League pitching. He's like a whole new man.
|10.5.08 @ 12:45AM|#
Whoever's posting as me, get it straight:
My mancrushes are on John Kerry and Theo Epstein.
I'm pretty sure that "get it straight" is not the most accurate
phrase for joe to describe his mancrushes.
Unless he's biologically female and had the operation to pass as a
man.
And I've seen compelling evidence in his posts that joe would like
to blow plenty of statist Democrat dick -- NTTAWWT.
P.S. Mandatory disclaimer -- the above is all meant in jest, in
keeping with the tenor of the rest of this thread. So no going all
huhu on me, mmm-kay?
Mark Bahner|10.5.08 @ 12:55AM|#
Another example of the breathtaking heights of conservative
political thought in the U.S. today.
And that doesn't even deal with the moral questionablity of a
(married?) conservative who is pleased that a woman who is married
with children might be winking at him.
|10.5.08 @ 3:36AM|#
"She knew she was doing well..."
Really? My take on it was "I'd love to play poker against this
chick because whenever she knows she's in trouble she starts
smiling like her beauty queen background might get her through
it."
Seriously. The smiling is what she does when she knows she has NO
IDEA WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT. Lowry is an idiot.
ed|10.5.08 @ 8:20AM|#
All this angst over a VP candidate whose boss is going to lose anyway. I'll give her one thing: she's less evil than the majority of charlatans who have appeared in this interminable election melodrama.
thoreau|10.5.08 @ 12:20PM|#
I have usually acted all dismayed at threads like this, but that
moral scold role isn't much fun. Instead, I'll just say this:
"But mom, Rich Lowry started it!"
worst week EVER|10.5.08 @ 5:53PM|#
Fuck Manny. Fuck the fucking Red Sox for sending him to the NL
and fuck Ryan Dempster for walking the pitcher twice. Fuck
Zambrano, Soriano, the umpires, and the equipment manager. In fact,
fuck everyone everywhere.
It was bad enough watching my country get Koran'd down the toilet
with the bailout bill, without Fukudome leading the Cubs into
hari-kiri.
Metal Messiah|10.5.08 @ 8:36PM|#
She was winking?
Looked like some kind of spasm or facial tick to me. Maybe it's
something she does when she's lying?
Famous Mortimer|10.6.08 @ 6:28AM|#
Ah, the stereotypical irony of a bunch of virtual virgins
picking apart a females appearance, and ranking it as something not
within their standards.
Only on the Internet. Oh, and every D&D gathering.
The vast majority of you would be lucky to even get a "mildly"
attractive woman to give you the time of day.
The woman has wind blowing between her ears, but she is attractive,
and anyone who claims otherwise is exercising more than just bad
taste.
After having read Libertarian forums for years, I am often
compelled to wonder if Libertarians like anything.
It's pretty much straight up, social retard nihilism.
|10.6.08 @ 10:08AM|#
Wait...criticizing a guy who publicly writes about his crush on
a woman he's only seen on TV makes one socially retarded?
In any case, just because you probably wouldn't be able to get with
Minnie Driver in real life doesn't mean you must automatically
think she's attractive.
|10.6.08 @ 10:10AM|#
It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting
around the living rooms of America.
That's right up there with that cable news retard (I forget which
one; they're all so interchangeable) that said Obama sent a tingle
up his leg.
Update: I see someone name-checked Chris Matthews upthread.
If Sarah Palin looked like Barbara Mikulski, she wouldn't be
half as popular.
Yeah, and if Barack Obama looked like Charlie Rangel, he wouldn't
be half as popular either. There's a reason why the old bald guy
never wins, you know. People being the shallow fucks they are knows
no party.
Mark|10.6.08 @ 10:16AM|#
Can someone please help me understand exactly how much danger McCain put us in with his VP pick? Assuming he is elected and slips on a bar of soap Jan. 21, how would a Palin administration differ from a Clinton or Bush? Would she defer to some TBD Republican politico, or her husband, or perhaps someone will install a green button and a red button on her desk and she'll govern mostly with those?
|10.6.08 @ 11:47AM|#
Assuming he is elected and slips on a bar of soap Jan. 21,
how would a Palin administration differ from a Clinton or
Bush?
Haven't you been following? She's an ignorant fundy loon who wants
to put her moose-hunting skills to work rounding up Jews and black
people. What more do you need to know?
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