Great Moments in Law and Order

Woman faces fine, 90 days in jail for swearing at her own toilet.

Meanwhile, 6-year-old Natalie Shea faces a $300 fine for drawing a flower on her home's front stoop in water-soluble sidewalk chalk. A neighbor called 311 to complain, and the drawing apparently ran afoul of anti-graffiti ordinances, even on one's own property.

The Sanitation Department bureau-bot said the fine is standard operating procedure: "If people call and complain, we have to follow it up; we have to respond."