Friday Funnies

Hitchens at the Pearly Gates

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Depicting Hitchens in an afterlife. Way to kick the man while he's down.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Libertarians still believe in the monotheistic hierarchy. Maybe without the magical god, or the overt sexism, but the hierarchy is nevertheless mostly in place, as follows:

    • GOD
    • KINGS (or industrialist superheroes)
    • MAN (owns the property below)
    • WOMAN (submits to husband)
    • ANIMALS (submit to husbandry)
    • NATURE (valuable only if used by the hierarchy)

    And they have to, because property rights are still based on this hierarchy, just as the Divine Right of Kings once was.

    "To date, however, no philosopher has ever successfully divorced Lockesian property rights from monotheism."

    ~Jason Godesky
    The Right to Property
    http://rewild.info/anthropik/2.....-property/

  • Live Free or Diet||

    That's Lockean. You might want to try another source to back your ideas. Godesky is little brighter than you, and no better read.

    And to address your real concern with property, less than 9 days left before your new EBT is issued.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    It goes both ways in scholarly literature. But thanks for demonstrating that you must avoid any discussion of the real issues. So Libertard of you.

  • Live Free or Diet||

    Man cannot exist without the products of his effort, thus if he is to exist he must have a right to that which he has produced.

    You, on the other hand, are a poser who will not lift a finger to try to live in the manner you advocate when it's handed to you on a platter. I know. I offered.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Man doesn't need abstract property, which all life has survived without, for billions of years.

    Do you see squirrels claiming abstract ownership of whole forests, and charging rent to other squirrels?

    Nope.

    That's the bullshit you're defending. Your bullshit is destroying the earth.

  • Troll feeder||

    But you do see hunting animals do that, don't you?

    The earth...it'll be fine with or without us. It'll be fine until Sol burns out. I mean, it must be doing better than the days of heavy meteor bombardment, right?

  • Crackpot Narcissist||

    %$*!@

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Actually, city-Statism is causing the Sixth Great Extinction.

    That's not fine, and it's not moral.

  • Troll feeder||

    Oh, the sixth great extinction. Oh of course. How silly of me. Your solution? Kill how much of the population to save the earth?

  • ||

    30- 35% and then wait a few centuries and see how it goes.

  • anon||

    There is no evidence that civilization is causing any extinction. In fact, we're doing quite well with a population around 7 billion.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    MASS EXTINCTION UNDERWAY

    The World Wide Web's Most Comprehensive Source of Information on the Current Mass Extinction

    www.massextinction.net

  • Troll feeder||

    It's bullshit. So, what else do you have?

  • Divine Right to Property||

    It's well-established science. You are city-Statist bullshit.

  • Troll feeder||

    Good comeback. You got me. I'm looking forward to this next mass extinction which we can prevent by mass extermination.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    You'll exterminate yourself, no doubt, but it isn't necessary as you think.

  • Troll feeder||

    Damn straight. I mean, eternal life sounds wonderful and all, but I don't think it's for me.

  • White Indian||

    I read it on the interwebs, it MUST BE TROOO!!!!!!

  • ||

    Women and minorities hit hardest.

  • Pip||

    "Do you see squirrels claiming abstract ownership of whole forests, and charging rent to other squirrels?"

    You obviously don't have a bird feeder. Squirrels are very territoraial. So are birds; it's why they sing. They are establising territory.

    You are one dumb fucking idiot.

  • White Nazi||

    You are one dumb fucking idiot.
    No I'm not, you are!!!!1111one

  • tarran||

    Pip, leave her alone, she's channeling Life of Brian.

  • ||

    Where are earth do you live. I live in the forest and i see squirrels fighting over territory and female squirrels all the time. That's the way mother nature works the spoils go to the strongest so depending on how you look at it we have evolved past or circumvented mother nature by protecting the weak with handouts. so which would you like to be destroyed living with mother nature or survive with the rest of us in our city state.

  • Sandi||

    I took a shit in the forrest once.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Do you see squirrels claiming abstract ownership of whole forests, and charging rent to other squirrels?

    Whole forests, Jason? No. Whole trees, bird feeders, trash cans? Yes. Squirrels are rather territorial little critters and will deny other squirrels access to the foodstuffs in their territory.

  • Mainer||

    I killed a squirrel once with my pellet gun, and for a week, everytime i went in my yard, the other squirrels would chatter and hiss at me. it really was a little disquieting to realize the recognized me and hated me.

  • Live Free or Diet||

    I love it! I give you a refuting answer in simple presentation and you change the subject. Enjoy your tantrum, poser, property is the answer to pollution, not the problem. Grow up a little and thank your mother for your basement.

  • Sam Grove||

    They may not charge rent, but they do indeed exhibit territorial behavior and will fight to exclude squirrelly intruders. Many creatures exhibit territorial behavior. Man is the creature that has formalized it as property rights. It helps reduce the fighting over the territory.

  • jayburd||

    I hate it when those little birds divebomb me! Like they own the place or something.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    By libertarian definition, Stalin was just being "territorial" and thus justified.

  • ||

    What about ants & aphids? Seems like an ownership relationship to me. Bees kinda seem like they think they own their nests.

    Fuck - nevermind, this is a 5 day old discussion.

  • ||

    AFAIK that is Godesky that's posting. The fatass loser who called himself White Indian until he was on everyone's ignore list. Now he doesn't have the sack to stick with a handle.

  • Appalachian Australian||

    Correct. Godesky is one of those fools who cites himself as an authority.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    I'm not Godesky, Libertard Liar (is that being redundant?)

    But if quoting him gets under your thin skin, expect more.

  • Live Free or Diet||

    "Divine Right to Property, AKA 'Godesky,' loves to quote himself and date magazine photos." -- Live Free or Diet

    There you have it, on good authority. Oh yeah, one more:

    "Wet Indigent, AKA 'Godesky', is killing the Sun. He's just that dim." -- Live Free or Diet

  • Dylboz||

    And now, he's taken to polluting the discussion threads on Strike-The-Root(dot)com with his B.S. under the moniker White Indian. He's like a cut and paste machine. For an anarcho-primitivist, he spends and inordinate amount of time online.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Freedom is "polluting?"

    How Soviet of you, city-Statist.

  • Almanian||

    Responding to every post with weak-sauce baiting? How basement-dwelling of you.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Disregard what I previously said, I suck cocks.

  • War Before Civilization||

    Men in hunter-gatherer societies are far more likely to die by violence than people in industrial societies.


    http://www.ted.com/talks/steve.....lence.html

  • Mitch||

    Kinda one sided here....what about the lefts love of the state and "enlightened rule" by the elite?

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Libertarians love agricultural city-STATISM (civilization as much as any leftist.

  • ||

    Look, People, "White Indian" aka the [CITY-STATE] troll is just that. It doesn't debate in good faith. Attempts to engage it just get you sucked in to an endless loop of time-wasting. The only way we (the commentariat) can deal with it is to ignore it.

    Don't feed it, people!

  • Tonio, Soviet Politik Officer||

    I debate in good faith. You can't, therefore you tell people not to debate.

  • Doom On You!||

    You can't NOT troll, can you?

  • DDavis||

    When do we get an button on this site?

  • Trespassers W||

    STFU LoneRanger.

  • Paul||

    Why does obama have horns?

  • ||

    What are you doing up so early?

  • ||

    Ah, I see. You were up late last night.

  • WWNGD?||

    Because he does in real life as well.

  • Arduin Grimoire||

    Who is funnier, WI or Bok?

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Laugh, kookaburra, Muthafukin' Monotheism is in the house!

    ..."revelation," which gives us an account of those grants God made of the world to Adam, and to Noah and his sons, it is very clear that God, as King David says (Psalm 115:16), "has given the earth to the children of men"....

    ~John Locke
    Two Treatises on Government
    Book II, Chapter 5
    Of Property

  • Live Free or Diet||

    OK, here's the easy version: I'm not any kind of theist. Biblical references mean less to me than Dungeons and Dragons references. God, by not existing, never wed to property. Doesn't even need an annulment.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Good-bye monotheistic Locke. And Good-bye monotheistic Lockean property "rights" derived from God.

    Because those "property rights" are what destroyed the Non-State sociopolitical typology by which humans evolved into and lived for 4,000,000 years.

    Sahlin's "The Original Affluent Society" (1974) is as paradigm-shaking to the hierarchical establishment as Darwin's "The Origin of Species." (1859)

    Wait and see; it'll take a bit of time.

    Your magical-thinking-based neo-liberalism will fall by the wayside like that other magical-thinking-based salvationist religion.

  • Live Free or Diet||

    Man cannot exist without the products of his effort, thus if he is to exist he must have a right to that which he has produced.

    You, on the other hand, are a poser who will not lift a finger to try to live in the manner you advocate when it's handed to you on a platter. I know. I offered.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Man doesn't need abstract property, which all life has survived without, for billions of years.

    Do you see squirrels claiming abstract ownership of whole forests, and charging rent to other squirrels?

    Nope.

    That's the bullshit you're defending. Your bullshit is destroying the earth.

  • Frito Gambel||

    "Abstract property."
    "Abstract property."
    "Abstract property."

    Nope, not grasping the concept.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Ownership represents nothing more than a power-relationship—the ability to control. The tribal institution of “Ownership by use” on the other hand, suggests simply that one can only “own” those things that they put to immediate, direct and personal use to meet basic needs—and not more. A society crosses the memetic Rubicon when it accepts the ABSTRACTion that ownership can extend beyond the exclusive needs of one individual for survival. (Read Jason Godesky on Ownership) ABSTRACT ownership begins when society accepts a claim of symbolic control of something without the requirement of immediate, direct and personal use. Hierarchy, at any level, requires this excess, ABSTRACT ownership—it represents the symbolic capital that forms the foundation of all stratification. In the simplest terms, in order to destroy the engine of hierarchy, we must destroy the mechanism of ownership.

    Attorney-at-Law Jeff Vail
    "A Theory of Power"
    Chapter 9 - Forward, to Rhizome
    www.jeffvail.net/2005/03/theor.....nline.html

  • Bill||

    You are extremely boring.

  • Live Free or Diet||

    Read Jason Godesky on Ownership

    Read Lifree O'Diet on Gamboling. In the Winnifred Edict, O'Diet stated the obvious -- but not entirely off-topic -- point, "And Men Without Hats say you can dance if you wannoo."

    Yep, I'm learning debate, Wet Indigent style!

  • Dylboz||

    All solitary big cats establish exclusive territory, which they will defend with violence, in order to manage the resources on it for their maximal benefit. They mark that territory, patrol it's borders, and only let in other cats for purposes of breeding. Other species, like the hunting primates (chimps, bonobos, baboons, etc.) which are our biological ancestors, also do the same thing in collective fashion, and their squabbles over territory can be extremely violent, lasting for days, with great casualties. Property, as in the exclusive control of a piece of land defended with force, is not at all an unnatural phenomenon.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Territory doesn't equal squirrels claiming abstract property ownership of a whole forest, and then making other squirrels pay rent to them or starve to death.

  • -||

    Heh, now it's arguing with itself!

  • anon||

    ahahahahahah
    it's so sad, watching the troll troll himself.

    Just keep telling yourself primitivism is the way buddy while pounding away at that keyboard. Then go rub one out.

  • -||

    Like a demented dog chasing its own tail.
    Fascinating!

  • Divine Right to Property||

    It' funny watching libertards troll themselves.

  • White Nazi||

    Did you know primitivists were 1/3 of the supporters of the nazis?

    GTFO you fucking nazi.

  • NAZI LIBERARDS!!!||

    "I absolutely insist on protecting private property... we must encourage private initiative."

    ~Adolph Hitler, March 24, 1942

  • Zeb||

    That's because they are fucking squirrels. Squirrels don't claim anything.

  • Sam Grove||

    So we're talking about two different things and you assume that libertarians hold that a few people should own all the land?

  • ||

    Actually, no. That claim only holds if you assume that all morality must be divinely inspired. It's not terribly difficult to arrive at an Objectivist or Natural Law claim to property rights.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Actually, Objectivtard morality is hardly a shade different; it maintains the same magically derived hierarchy, with a thin coat of secular whitewash.

  • ||

    Oh my,your completely unsupported assertion becomes brilliant and unanswerable when you end references in "-tard". So much for claims of reasonable answers.

  • Sam Grove||

    No, it does not and while I have seen the logical derivation explicated here several times, for your own reasons, you refuse or are unable to see it.

  • Sam Grove||

    I'll add to it to help you out.

    Man is more than a biological creature, he is also an intellectual being able to engage in abstract thought and creation.
    Thus, he is quite capable of creating the idea of formalized property rights for his purposes.

    Unlike the property rights of kings which gave the monarch singular authority over the whole land and ALL the inhabitants thereof, property rights for all makes it possible for the community to codify property boundaries so that people can resolve disputes over these boundaries by examination of the record and agreements.

    Doing so reduces fighting within the community over territory, thus property rights are a means for promoting harmony within the community.

    Without this codification and mutual agreement, property will be subject solely to the exercise of power and bullies will fight it out until one is put forth as king of all property.

    Kind of like government.

    Not once have I referred to any divinity in this argument.

  • ||

    As long as will exists there will always be property. Their linkage is absolute, as in the conflict between wills in the spaces that can only accept one (due to the limitations of a physical universe), a "law" will determine which will is ultimately expressed.

    This "law" is itself a willful force, and the true owner of property(not morally, absolutely). It is the will with the only currency that matters, power.

    Every man that has ever existed has done so on property. The Marxist-Leninists claimed no property existed under their worker's paradise, but the stark reality was they all lived upon the Premier's land.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Randian word magic doesn't overcome the reality of evolutionary biology.

  • Troll feeder||

    Might makes right is your answer to private property? That is the reality of evolutionary biology after all.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Social darwinism (might make right city-STATIST bullshit) has zilch to do with biological evolution.

    "Survival of the fittest" was coined by Herbert Spencer, dipshit.

  • Troll feeder||

    Food chain mutherfucka. Your squirrel that doesn't charge rent is just dinner for something else.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    "Survival of the fittest" was coined by Herbert Spencer, dipshit, as an apology for your neo-liberal dog-eat-dog krapitalism.

    Nothing to do with biological evolution.

  • Troll feeder||

    Great, great, magic words.

    So can you tell me how one species eating another isn't might makes right? And can you tell me what your counter-proposal is? Or should I just go into your tent, fuck your wife, eat your deer, and then punch you in the face?

  • Divine Right to Property||

    HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

  • Divine Right to Property||

    HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

  • anon||

    lol "word magic."

    Fucking words, how do they work?

  • Divine Right to Property||

    HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

  • ||

    Don't feed it, people.

  • Crackpot Narcissist||

    We have no choice. It's a sickness.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    You have no choice, I'm striking at the root of your agricultural city-Statist aggression that you've so thinly whitewashed.

  • Crackpot Narcissists||

    Stop us before we comment again!

  • Divine Right to Property||

    HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

  • Sam Grove||

    I'm striking at the root of your agricultural city-Statist aggression that you've so thinly whitewashed.

    To what end?

  • Tonio, Soviet POLITIK Officer||

    Da, comrades, we must not let such thinking into our Libertard Collective!

  • Crackpot Narcissists||

    Comrade Tonio, join me tonight at the CNA* meeting?
    There will be doughnuts!

     

    *Crackpot Narcissists Anonymous

  • Divine Right to Property||

    HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

  • Trespassers W||

    STFU, W'Injun.

  • affenkopf||

    I'm glad Hitch isn't alive to see this. I'm sad I am.

  • np||

    I'm not an web developer, but I'm sure somebody must have thought of this:

    Suggestion on how to deal effectively deal with trolls, etc. WITHOUT moderation or registration, while maintaining privacy

    1) associate random 64-bit identifier with each IP, assuming Reason logs IP. This identifier is public and is represented as a hex string. Reason webserver maintains identifier to IP mapping table. Hash it somehow for quick lookup.

    2) use client side method to implement a block list or filter based upon the identifier, which would be stored in a cookie(?)

    sound possible?

  • Dealing with rebuttals to...||

    ...your magical thinking.

    1. Reasonably answer.
    2. Call them a troll.

    Libertard always gonna go #2 when #1 isn't possible.

  • ||

    We've reasonably answered you to the point that we're blue in the face. You obviously aren't interested in a rational discussion and it's only reasonable to treat you accordingly.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    Calling people names isn't answering them.

  • ­­­||

    Poor baby.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    I don't mind the names, call me more. Just don't imagine it's an "answer," especially in a place called Reason. LOL

  • poetry||

    drink!

  • ||

    Like ending philosophies you don't agree with "-tard"?

  • Divine Right to Property||

    HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

  • ||

    This is a great idea if you want to create a libertarian echo chamber.

  • Hiram G||

    I think they do.

  • affenkopf||

    Dynamic IPs.

  • Appalachian Australian||

    The Reasonable plugin for Google Chrome works quite well, and has an advanced White Indian detector.

    As a bonus, you get a cool little disembodied top-hat, monocole, and waxed moustache icon in your address bar.

  • tarran||

    What makes rather so irritating is her mindless repetition and the way she parrots others without understanding.

    One way to capture that automatically would be to look at the repetition of the content. If someone is saying the same thing over and over again, particularly using the same nonsense words over and over again, it's an indication that they are griefing.

    The problem with the notion of posting hash tags is that while it weakens anonymity, it doesn't kill it. A dedicated griefer can find ways to post from a overwhelmingly differens set of IP addresses.

    People who aren't griefers but prize anonymity and are technically unskilled would be incentivized not to comment, while griefers would be presented with a mere speedbump.

  • squarooticus||

    This is what I use on my own forum:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evercookie

    Tied in with mitigation techniques, it works great at dealing with trolls.

  • anon||

    there's a simple method applied almost universally throughout the web: a vote up/down system; post receives enough down votes it's collapsed until you click a link opening it.

    The downside is that people get into a circle jerk about receiving up votes.

  • ||

    It is neutered until somebody replies to it. THEN and usually ONLY then, do you get this shit.^^^^^^

    When nobody plays with it, it goes away.

    STOP FEEDING THE FUCKING TROLL! Is it so hard to simply NOT reply?

  • ||

    Even Reason can't resist imagining Hitchens confronting God. In the end, libertarians are as superstitious as the Bible thumpers. Good to know.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    In my dealings with them, there is little, and often no, difference between them and young-earth creationists.

    Libertarianism is the somewhat secularized version of the hope of a heavenly city.

    Instead of magic Hayzeus appearing in the clouds, they make a cargo-cult out of techno-salvationism.

  • plisade||

    Wow, DRtP, you have issues. I'm as atheist as they come, so much so I reject the word "atheist" because it seems to presppose god so that you can reject him. Anyway, I want what I earn, simple as that. Apparently you want what I earn to, maybe even feel you have a divine right to it, idk.

  • Mitch||

    God (or whatever), I'm gonna hate myself for asking, but what do you believe? And why do you think its better? And why take the time to post here if you are question libertarians if you do not post an acceptable alternative. You fault everyone about not answering your questions but can you handle your ideas being deconstructed or questioned?

  • ||

    How exactly are they like young-earth creationists, please be specific.

    Libertarian philosophy has no utopian imaginations. It is precisely the rejection of utopian idealism that breeds libertarian push against the centralization of power.

    Libertarian philosophy by definition is for the maximization of natural liberty. This is a deontological position not a consequentialist, as a free people may choose a worse path than a "less than" free people. Allowing a person sovereignty over themselves is viewed in itself "moral".

  • Divine Right to Property||

    I was specific: Libertards DO have utopian imaginations.

    The voluntary city-Statism (civilization) they yearn for, like heaven, is contradictory on its face.

    There never has been such. There never will be. It's purely illusory.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Yawn.

  • Sam Grove||

    Libertarianism is the somewhat secularized version of the hope of a heavenly city.

    Evidence of cluelessness.

  • ||

    I know of no particular prohibition on libertarians believing in God or not. It's only the "Bible thumpers" and idiot progressives who are bound and determined to dictate what individual beliefs are to be.

  • Libertarians = Harsh Dictators||

    Libertarians are all for Gambol Lockdown, as much as Stalin.

    Officer, am I free to gambol about plain and forest?

    MARX: NO!
    MISES: NO!

  • White Indian||

    HELL MOTHERFUCKING YEAH! GAMBOL LOCKDOWN BITCHES!

  • poetry||

    poetry: NO!

    WI, no person is entitled to all of the earth, to take whatever pleases them at any time. You imply that man should only "possess" at a time of "need," that private property is ephemeral and magickal – fine, but what happens when two people decide they "need" the same item at the same time?

    I doubt you can answer the question without calling me something that ends in -tard, preceded by some words with uncleverly selected capitalizations. But please, try.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    How has life survived on earth without city-Statism, save for the last 8000 years, in which city-Statism is rubbing out the life on earth?

    Think about it.

  • poetry||

    You didn't answer my question. To show my good faith, however, I will answer yours:

    Humanity survived sans-city-Statism by hunting and gathering in groups. It is likely that groups (is "tribes" too cartoonish?) of people would stake claim to regions for hunting, just like other hunting animals do. Humans learned which individuals were part of their "tribe," and which humans weren't, and they fought over perceived encroachments on each others' hunting territories (this is all horribly over-simplified, of course). As an aside, this is the evolutionary origin of racism, and why it is so difficult to overcome.

    Anyway, the advent of the city-State really wasn't that big of a leap from this. People realized that they were more likely to have better lives if they worked together with a system of trade, rather than asserting untransferable ownership of property and just killing each other all the time.

    So, basically, my assumption is that mankind has always "laid claim" to property, even long, long before homo sapiens.

    You probably disagree with that claim. Fine, go ahead and respond. But first... FIRST, answer my fucking question from above (my comment at 10:41am). Or can't you?

  • anon||

    Yeah right, that's way too much for white idiot to read.

  • Divine Right to Property||

    HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

  • Tacos mmm...||

    Fuck suriving without city-statism. How did man survive without knowledge of nature's harmonic simultaneous 4-
    day time cube?

  • ||

    Do you even try to maintain some marginal connection to the topic under discussion?

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Yawn.

    Boring ad hominem is boring.

  • ||

    OK, just because one contributor to one libertarian (not Libertarian) publication dinged Hitch doesn't mean that all libertarians do that.

    I'm atheist. I miss Hitch. He was certainly not above a bit of snark himself.

    So, get a life and do something useful like eulogize Hitch.

  • Abdul||

    So Christopher Hitchens doesn't believe in Wilford Brimley?

  • cdcdawg||

    Reasonable minds argue as to the existence of "God", but there is no doubt that Wilford Brimley is all too real.

  • Joe M||

    Wow. Just goes to show, no matter what your beliefs, if you aren't a Christian, they will be completely disregarded.

  • Joe M||

    Steve Jobs, a Buddhist, got the same treatment.

  • NotSure||

    ?

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    American culture is obviously heavily invested in Christian theology. Despite acknowledging and tolerating other religions, the culture still does not understand those religions. As an example were the talking heads and sports reporters who wanted Tiger Woods to have his "Come to Jesus moment" and tearfully repent for his affairs. The type of press conference where the wife and kids surround the figure while the figure assures us that with God's strength, and the love of his family, he will move past this incident. The hitch is, Tiger is a Buddhist. Although having an affair may be unethical, I don't know if Tiger (and Buddhism) consider it the mortal sin that Christians consider it is. For that reason, I'm not sure he understands why the media, his sponsors, and some of his fans freaked out. Essentially, American culture sets "Christian" as the default setting to everyone in the culture.

  • jayburd||

    I'll bet he saw God when his old lady started beating him with a 9 iron!

  • ||

    I don't get it.

  • Satan||

    Me neither.

  • Some dude||

    I don't get it at all.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Friday Funnies is part of Hit & Run now. The revolution has begun.

  • Appalachian Australian||

    Friday Funnies are being focus-grouped in H&R first. If there is a strong enough consensus that the cartoon is completely unfunny, it will hit the front page.

    As a bonus, this thread seems to be soaking up all of Sodesky's time to post inbetween running to CVS to swipe his EBT to get another bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos.

  • db||

    "Doctor, I'm worried because...well...my penis is turning orange!"

  • Tim||

    Hilarious. Where are the links?

  • ||

    Best Bok ever

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    What. The. HELL? Now all the sudden Friday Funnies isn't part of Hit & Run anymore. The revolution is dead.

  • Tim||

    Bok your work gives new meaning to the term "number 2 pencil".

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    MORNING LINKS IS DEAD.

  • Rich||

    Looks like it's up to the Commentariat now, Fist. If everyone contributes just *one* link, ML will not have died in vain.

    ** takes deep breath **

    North Korea 'to admit all South Korean mourners'

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Maybe they could also eject all North Koreans who are fake mourning.

  • ||

    It is like a roach motel. Koreans check in but they don't check out.

  • Rich||

    All right! This is more like it.

  • Tim||

    It's up to us to rebuild.

  • ||

    We have the technology.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    From the chaos of Reason offices shut down for Christian holidays comes spontaneous order, thanks to the commentarian. They should be donating money to us.

  • I||

    I think this holiday weekend might be the ugliest in the history of H&R.

  • ||

    Black hole -grade suck.

  • Invocation||

    Racist Newsletters!

  • Jerry||

  • Ms Media||

    Off by 10%?!

    Racist bastard!!

  • Jerry||

    In his defense, the 8 and 9 keys are like just next to each other.

  • ||

    Yes because everyone who is a arrested was guilty and none of those people were arrested for bullshit victimless crimes.

  • anon||

    Well, if you want to get technical, we all break at least one law a day. I'm nigh certain that everyone in the country is a habitual lawbreaker. Arrest us all!

  • ||

    You're right, and I'll bet Paul would agree given his opposition to the WoD on principle and in practice.

  • ||

    I am sure he would. So perhaps he should take back the accusation.

  • waffles||

    why would he take back something that isn't his?

  • ||

    His name is on it.

  • RoboCain||

    He already has.

  • Spoonman.||

    No Morning Links? Shit, I'm not on vacation.

  • Tim||

    Humongous quit lurking and get some torture links up.
    John post something to upset MNG.
    Episarch get in here and taunt FoE

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    We need a link showing someone is still hot.

  • Sarcazmic||

    Gertrude Stein is still hot.

  • ||

    Isn't that a picture of one of the Popes?

  • Sarcazmic||

    Busted. Yes, it's Pope Horrendous III, the "Lesbian Pope."

  • RoboCain||

    That's a man.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Thats disturbing

  • RoboCain||

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Her line uses a unique fabrication that lets women remove their bikini straps without the rest of the top falling off, thanks to a revolutionary silicon-based adhesive activated by body temperature.

    Now I have a second (and related) reason to turn the thermostat down.

  • ||

    http://news.investors.com/Arti.....adness.htm

    The same EPA that is going to destroy the electrical grid in the name of eliminate the minuscule amount of mercury in the air, insists on all of us putting mercury filled CFC in our homes.

  • Tim||

    TSA, NOT EPA

  • Crackpot Narcissist||

    I agree with John.

  • ||

    Unfortunately, it seems Mister Riggs, overcome by remorse after posting this uniquely execrable Friday Funny, went to the roof and flung himself off.

    There will be no Morning Links, today.

  • Crackpot Narcissist||

    Like anyone pays attention to them. I predict links will be posted anyway.

  • Tim||

    We need links on TSA, pot clinics and that asshole Newt Gingrich. Something on Drone attacks would also ne good. Also tits

  • Rich||

  • Spoonman.||

    I thought it was a possibility that your link was real. That scares me.

  • ||

    I'll admit, I let the mouse hover over the link to check

  • db||

    Same here. It's a sad world when this kind of headline has a nonzero chance of being real.

  • ||

    http://boingboing.net/2011/12/.....-reve.html

    DOJ, we can't tell you under what circumstances Obama will go gansta on your ass and send a TOW missile through your front door.

  • anon||

    Wikipedia has missiles?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I guess they wouldn't run him a tab.

    (That's right, I'm mining Drudge for links.)

  • HEY!||

    Where the fuck are the AM Links?

  • ||

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....z1Xx3TOGmg

    Old link. But I still want to be Silvio Berlusconi when I grow up.

  • ||

    Good intentions.

    Now Mr. Harmon, 68, who grew up in one of those buildings — a bow-fronted town house on West 76th Street near Central Park — has gone to the United States Supreme Court contending that New York City’s rent laws constitute a “taking” of his property without just compensation, a violation of his constitutional rights.

    The regulations are meant to support the government’s goal of maintaining affordable housing for its citizens. Instead, he says, the laws have forced him and his family to shoulder the government’s burden and extend what is essentially “privatized welfare” to rent-stabilized tenants who are paying rent 59 percent below market rates and who have rights of succession to their lodgings in his house.

  • anon||

    Wait - Mark Harmon?

  • ||

    the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit, in Manhattan, ruled that the rent-stabilization law did not constitute a “taking” because it did not stop him from using the building as a rental property and did not stop him from living there himself.

    Pretty Orwellian, but that isn't news...

  • ||

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....h-com.html

    Paula Zahn's ex husband, some real estate tycoon, makes a habit of meeting women on match.com, taking them on trips, banging the hell out of them and then never calling. But what is interesting is, one of the women he met on match.com is a former Miss USA. Who would have thought former Miss USA's are cruising match.com?

  • Crackpot Narcissist||

    Fascinating, John!

  • ||

    It's got to be depressing to be a real estate tycoon known as "Paula Zahn's ex".

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    In lieu of stump speeches, Newt Gingrich plans to strangle a kitten to Lady Gaga songs.

  • Tim||

    This is going great.

  • ||

    Strangling is nasty; he should drown the kitten in a fish bowl while the goldfish laughs with Schadenfreude.

  • AlmightyJB||

    He could just talk to the kitten for two hours and it will strangle itself.

  • RoboCain||

    There was no botching involved, the operation went down exactly as planned. Straw purchasers bought guns, smuggled them into Mexico for delivery to some of the most violent, vicious criminals in the Northern Hemisphere – Mexican narcotrafficantes. The guns were then recovered from crime scenes, adding weight to the bogus claims that border gun stores in the U.S. were major the suppliers of weapons to the cartels...

    Now, perhaps, we can see that characterizing F&F as ‘an attack on our Second Amendment rights‘ is not so outrageous, especially when you consider that the (distorted) numbers of US guns showing up at Mexican crime scenes was and is being used to justify ‘renewing’ the Clinton-era Assault Weapons Ban (aka the Scary Black Gun Ban). It’s also being cited as justification (by bureaucratic fiat) for additional sales reporting requirements on border state gun shops, further demonizing them.

    http://www.thetruthaboutguns.c.....more-89259

  • ||

    some of the most violent, vicious criminals in the Northern Hemisphere – Mexican narcotrafficantes

    Hey, what about us?

  • ||

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....igure.html

    Flavio Briatore, the chief of F1 with his wife. No, she fucks him for his good looks, charm and personality. His money has nothing to do with it.

  • Rich||

    With all due respect, she must have more money than he does.

  • ||

    I have never seen a bigger disparity in attractiveness than that couple. He looks like he just lost a bum fight in Naples.

  • Tacos mmm...||

    And he fathered a child by Heidi Klum.

  • ||

    I guess if I were 61, I could tolerate a concentration camp victim half my age.

  • ||

    FTA: The Renault supremo married Elisabetta in 2008 in Rome, and the couple welcomed son Nathan in March last year. Briatore is also father to Heidi Klum's daughter Leni, but has no role in her life and allowed Klum's husband Seal to adopt her in 2009.

    What. The. Fuck.

  • ||

    The dude looks like he rolled out of a gutter somewhere. WTF is right. Proof that women really will bang anything with a fat enough wallet.

  • ||

    And my "don't feed the troll" comments seem to be having an effect. It's reacting in fear against them. Because what it most fears is being ignored.

  • RoboCain||

    Tits were popular 50 years ago:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....e-era.html

  • Devil's Advocate||

    She's such a beautiful woman. But I wish she wouldn't wear dresses that squish her boobs like that. She seems to pick those for some reason.

  • Pig||

    They'd be down to her knees if she didn't.

  • ||

    And the rest of her is not that great. I have seen some swimsuit picks of her. Those dresses are always about putting two pounds of hamburger into a one pound bag.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    And in the future 'verse.

    Mal: Whoa, hey. Flesh. Um... Saffron... i-it-it ain't a question of pleasing me. It's more a question of what's... um... of what's morally right.
    Saffron: I do know my Bible, sir. "On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow and he shall work in her, in and again, 'til she bring him to his fall and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast."
    Mal: Whoa, good Bible.

  • RoboCain||

    Firefly was awesome. How a show based on hot chicks and gunfights could get canceled is beyond me.

  • Trespassers W||

    Mrs. Reynolds was a little less fleshy back then.

  • Devil's Advocate||

    So was Mal.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Mitt Romney goes for the Clark Griswold vote.

  • ||

    That story is horrible. Is there anyone in politics who isn't a fucking monster?

  • RoboCain||

    Yes, but I still can't believe he wouldn't deny strapping the family dog in its carrier to the roof of the car. And that it's not illegal.

  • ||

    He is not even ashamed of it. He really is the worst.

  • Gray Ghost||

    Not only is he not ashamed of it, didn't he bring it up himself as an example of his resourcefulness and outside the box thinking?

    You can't make shit like this up. And he's probably going to be our next President.

    Fuck it, it's close enough to 5:30. Merry Christmas, everyone.

  • Tacos mmm...||

    It's emotion-free crisis management. During the assault, Lecter's pulse never rose above 85 beats per minute.

  • The Ghost of Seamus||

    Photos or it didn't happen.

  • Mainer||

    The fact that Romney's son is name "Tagg" is the second most vile part of that story.

  • RoboCain||

    While chatting to the camera about her 'special Christmas tan' she said: 'Last time I was here, Paisley was trying to copy me ... but MY mom doesn't dress me up as a hooker.'

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem.....ickey.html

  • Devil's Advocate||

    I like to think there's a special circle of hell reserved for the women who put their daughters through that shit.

  • ||

    What kind of a freak would you have to be to do that?

  • RoboCain||

    If anyone else dressed up little girls like that and took pictures, they would go to prison.

  • Ice Nine||

    There are of course a number of "why"s in this pathetic situation but one of the major ones is, why does this five y/o know what a hooker is?

  • ||

    Between this post and the one about the guy being pepper sprayed to death in Tampa, I need a drink.

  • RoboCain||

    Yes, I'm wondering if coffee and Christian Brothers mix.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Yes.

  • RoboCain||

    Even though it's inexpensive, I find it's the best thing for eggnog -- smoother than rum, and more expensive brandy/cognac/etc. makes no difference.

  • ||

    Try Benedictine in eggnog sometime. Monks just make some good shit.

  • ||

    I like to think there's a special circle of hell reserved for the women who put their daughters through that shit.

    Isn't that what reality tee-vee is?

    Wait, that's our Hell.

  • ||

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....shoot.html

    It is very good to be Orlando Bloom.

  • Pip||

    Sarah's prettier.

  • ||

    Man, her nose is fucking HUGE.

  • ||

    So you would turn down a bently because you didn't like the grill?

  • ||

    Oh, hell no. And I got nothing against her schnoz. I was just saying it's huge.

  • ||

    More.

    Mr. Harmon said he had appealed to his assemblywoman, Linda B. Rosenthal, a strong supporter of rent regulations. Ms. Rosenthal said Mr. Harmon had asked for an exception to rent regulations for his building, which she found untenable because it would, she said, extend to thousands of other people in “the vanishing middle class.”

    “I understand he thinks he could make more money, that he is being deprived,” she said. “But I have so many constituents who would willingly trade his problems for theirs.”

    As for luck, she said, Mr. Harmon was “lucky enough to inherit a town house.”

    Filthy one percenters; we must teach them the virtue of sharing.

  • RoboCain||

    "That means that, in some strange twist of logic, sexy Santa is really a way for people to have erotic thoughts about their parents at Christmastime."

    http://gawker.com/5870500/the-...../gallery/1

  • ||

    Tits were popular 50 years ago

    Those particular tits, not so popular now.

  • RoboCain||

    Who has more popular tits than her?

  • anon||

    Newt

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Not that popular.

  • RoboCain||

    Jezebel commenters continue the campaign to re-write English.

    "Right, and none of those things have anything to to with institutionalised sexism. All of these reasons can be explained by 'women are more likely to be somebody's primary caregiver' - just because the sexism isn't intentional doesn't make it not sexism (rather, that's kind of the point of the word sexism)"

    http://jezebel.com/5870022/fem.....en-at-work

  • Zeb||

    Sexism won't go away until men can figure out how to get pregnant and lactate. Apparently. Because the fact that the sexes are not exactly the same is sexist.

  • ||

    in some strange twist of logic

    Gawker; it's what they do.

  • ||

    Matt Barkely is going back to USC for his senior year. Good for Barkely. I have bad news for him. Yes, he will probably win the Heisman next year. And USC will likely go undefeated. That is the good news. The bad news is that he won't get to play for the national title since ESPN will ensure that game involves a rematch of two three loss SEC teams. Sorry Matt.

  • RoboCain||

    Otoh, there isn't any pro ball in Southern California.

  • ||

    You can thank Norv Turner for that.

  • RoboCain||

    Oh, sorry. I forgot about them.

  • Morning Links||

    We are all morning links now

  • Ice Nine||

    We are all mourning morning links now

  • Almanian||

    We are all Moaning Lynx now.

  • Mainer||

    Ya know how you can state the genus and species of an animal, for example, california sea otter (enhydra lutris). Well the genus of the lynx is lynx and so is the species. So we would refer to the lynx (lynx lynx).

    That cracks me up.

  • ||

    Krugabe* sez:

    "LEAVE OBAMA ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!"

    *You know where to find him.

  • RoboCain||

    Who the heck googles "porn" to search for porn?

    http://www.theatlantic.com/tec.....rn/250264/

  • Ice Nine||

    Really - it would take you forever to get to your granny plumper dwarf bondage bukake if you did that.

  • Zeb||

    I think that maybe the first time I ever tried to look for porn on the internet, I might have searched for "porn". But that was pre-Google.

  • ||

    I actually whacked off to the article itself. Is that odd?

  • RoboCain||

    "Eric Philips, the Auburn University undergraduate who was forced by the school to remove a campaign sign for Texas Congressman Ron Paul from his dorm room window, says that when it comes to political expression, a double standard exists at his school."

    http://dailycaller.com/2011/12.....his-story/

  • ||

    Of course there is. The whole point of the university is to turn these kids into good leftist. You can't do that if you allow them to think or anything.

  • ||

    Meh, I didn't even know people at Auburn could read.

  • RoboCain||

    "Paul campaign press secretary Gary Howard, who is himself an African American, told The Daily Caller that his candidate’s opposition to the War on Drugs has helped him win support from minorities."

    http://dailycaller.com/2011/12.....te-voters/

  • Almanian||

    Oh, so the brothers all do drugs. Therefore, RACIST!

  • ||

    If Republicans were not the party of stupid, a Republican President would have long ago used his clemency power to free the various federal prisoners stuck there on drug charges. You could keep the violent ones and only commute the ones there on simple drug charges. They could then go to the black community literally as the new Lincoln. Lets see how well the Democrats do after they no longer get 90% of the black vote every election.

  • ||

    That's something that RP could do and there is nothing that Congress or anybody else, short of a bullet, could do about it.

    The differnce between RP and Lincoln is that RP is not a white supremacist as Dishonest Abe was.

  • Almanian||

    Typical Bok. Which is to say, needs more labels. Happy Friday, Reason!

  • ||

    Finders keepers, I'm gonna have me a bad ass hootenanny tonight!

  • Tim||

    Not even an intern to steer the ship.

  • ||

    NYT's Tim Egan says, "Whuuuuuit?"

    This year, Paul has 10 times the individual donations — totaling $113,739 — from the military as does Mitt Romney. And he has a hundred times more than Newt Gingrich, who sat out the Vietnam War with college deferments and now promises he would strike foes at the slightest provocation.

    Never fear, RP is *still* a heartless racist:

    He has other problems, as well. His position on health care for the elderly and working poor — basically, to let people fend for themselves, at the mercy of charity and the free enterprise system — is chilling and unrealistic. And in recent days, he’s had trouble explaining some deplorable racist statements that went out under the name of his newsletter 20 years ago. (He has disavowed them.)

  • ||

    See my quote below. Not wanting to enslave the working class is, in New York Times speech, leaving them to fend for themselves. Freedom is slavery.

  • ||

    This Tim Egan nails it. I know when I walk into a grocery store, which competes in an industry much freer than health care, I am chilled by what I see.

  • jayburd||

    You are at the mercy of said store.

  • ||

    A great quote from Vaclav Havel. (I think we should have called him Wenceslaus Havel since that is the Latin form of his name)

    The post-totalitarian system touches people at every step, but it does so with its ideological gloves on. This is why life in the system is so thoroughly permeated with hypocrisy and lies: government by bureaucracy is called popular government; the working class is enslaved in the name of the working class; the complete degradation of the individual is presented as his ultimate liberation; depriving people of information is called making it available; the use of power to manipulate is called the public control of power, and the arbitrary abuse of power is called observing the legal code; the repression of culture is called its development; the expansion of imperial influence is presented as support for the oppressed; the lack of free expression becomes the highest form of freedom; farcical elections become the highest form of democracy; banning independent thought becomes the most scientific of world views; military occupation becomes fraternal assistance. Because the regime is captive to its own lies, it must falsify everything. It falsifies the past. It falsifies the present, and it falsifies the future. It falsifies statistics. It pretends not to possess an omnipotent and unprincipled police apparatus. It pretends to respect human rights. It pretends to persecute no one. It pretends to fear nothing. It pretends to pretend nothing.

    Two words mainstream media.

  • ||

    There is no way to harmonize those words with:

    (1) The War on Terror

    (2) The Iraq War

    (3) The War on Drugs

    (4) The Grope and Grab at the airports as no person has a right to feel safe at an airport such that he can compel another to be subjected to the totalitarian two step at the airport.

    (5) praise for men who join state sponsored military or paramilitary organizations

    (6) tolerance for Israeli war mongering and brutality

    (7)the proposition that democracies don't start wars

    (8) the proposition that democracies are more peaceful

    (9) the notion that a nation state is entitled to "secrets" the revelation of which justifies arrest / opression of those who release such information

    (10) the notion that the administration of justice should be monopolized by the state

  • ||

    Mitt Romney does what politicians do and says the US is great (greatest in history) and Matt Ygleisias investigates. Yglesias really is retarded. He certainly has some form of Aspergers of down's. Matt, it is called POLITICAL RHETORIC.

  • Ice Nine||

    So what, was there an Ebola outbreak at the H&R office this morning, or something?

  • ||

    http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/s.....2-18-19-05

    Argentina takes control of newsprint. That is one serious bitch running that country.

  • ghost of joe||

    but he was democratically elected.

  • dave c||

    Its a she. And she is a fascist ho.

  • ¢||

    It's got to be depressing to be a real estate tycoon known as "Paula Zahn's ex".

    wut

    "Mega-rich guy who used to bang the hot-but-trustworthy lady from Good Morning America (but 'we grew apart; we were both just so busy...')" is a more gettin'-laid combo than being Johny Depp and Batman at the same time.

    And evidently the guy knows this.

  • ||

    Hitchens' hair grew back fast!

    I wonder if some religious folk fantasize about how they will look in heaven. Is there a choice? If so, I doubt Hitchens would have decided that 59 years old was the look he wanted for eternity.

  • Bobarian||

    Hitchens failed to place his order in before arrival, so he had to take what he was given.

    I know I'm going for 19 yr old me. That's the last time I had a full head of hair.

  • first||

    Confident, charismatic and extremely self-assured Marlene is the kind of girl who knows exactly where she’s headed and what she wants from life.

    With her striking looks it would be easy to think that Marlene is just another pretty face. But that would be underestimating her by a long way. Quite an incredible girl, she is currently in her 6th year at university. Marlene is studying for her Masters degree in psychology, specializing in the area of ‘trauma.’

    As a model Marlene proved to be an excellent poser, she moves like a cat and wasn’t shy at all! She is ultra-petite weighing only 43 kilos and her wardrobe consists solely of Japanese designer clothes, as these are perfect for her tiny frame. She favors clothes in lace and other luxurious fabrics and has her own unique style.

    Very aware of her own sexuality and presence, Marlene is a rare combination of intelligence and allure.

    http://www.hegre-art.com/model.....ls-wrapper

  • lol||

  • ||

    Marlene is studying for her Masters degree in psychology, specializing in the area of ‘trauma.’

    Drama, not trauma.

  • The Art-P.O.G.||

    Summary for other late-comers: I didn't get the cartoon, White Indian got absolutely destroyed in the thread. The end.

  • توقعات الابراج||

  • phryxian houndmaster||

    It occurs to me that if I continue ignoring the threads that a particular troll has made unreadable, I lose out. In order for me to gain from these discussions again, the troll has to be driven away. But that won't happen as long as it is rewarded for its efforts. It will only leave when it is punished for its actions rather than rewarded. So how can I punish a troll, a creature that grows stronger with every engagement?

    I can reward those it wishes to see harmed. From this point forward, every time this troll ruins my ability to enjoy a thread, I will donate $10 to Reason.

    It is of course just barely possible that Reason itself created this entity in order to incite this form of backlash. In which case, well done sirs.

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