Friday Funnies

Occupy Wall Street

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Will Smith and Crispin Glover in The Fifth Element II: Driving Miss Lazy.

  • 1% control 42% of the wealth||

    While young men tool around in a taxi still thinking college is a means of advancement instead of a means of getting your pockets cleaned out.

  • 1% control 42% (shorter)||

    Wah!

  • When Soviet Politburo fat cats||

    ...ran around in chauffeured Zils to their dachas, it was evidence that Communism was a bad system that created a large wealth inequality.

    It would be nice to see the same principles applied today to the Wall Street Politburo fat cats.

  • Suki||

    When you infect Capitalism with Socialism, that is what you get.

  • Suki sounds Socialist||

    Suki: When you infect Capitalism with Socialism, that is what you get.

    Socialist: When you infect Socialism with Capitalism, that is what you get.

    Excuses are like assholes, everybody's got one, and they all stink.

  • Suki||

    Ah, one of the regulars playing troll. How quaint.

  • DLM||

    ...assholes...and they all stink.

    Personal experience I take it.

  • WTF||

    So you agree we need to reduce the size and scope of government to prevent this sort of crony capitalism?

  • Cronyism = Capitalism||

    There is no pure Communism, anywhere.

    There is no pure Capitalism, anywhere.

    What you see is what you get.

    What your fundamentalist religio-economic ideology hopes for is bullshite.

  • Suki||

    We can see straight up what is happening. We did not begin with socialism that got infected with capitalism at all. Socialism came along much later and has been screwing things up ever since.

  • BakedPenguin||

    +1 WTF

  • The Ingenious Hidalgo||

    He just said "fundamentalist religio-economic ideology". Pretty sure that means he loses the argument automatically.

  • Sam Grove||

    Yup. Leftists without argument must engage in linguistic tactics.

  • BakedPenguin||

    +3 FoE

  • KDN||

    it was evidence that Communism was a bad system that created a large wealth inequality.

    Communism has a lot of problems, large wealth inequality isn't one of them. All that was evidence of commie leaders being a bunch of hypocrites, a problem that we are not unfamiliar with in our own system.

    Basically, you're still an idiot and will likely come back with a long screed missing the point copypasted from some site that nobody cares about and written by someone nobody but Google has ever heard of.

  • Gini coefficient||

    "The Gini coefficient is a measure of the inequality of a distribution,...the Soviet Union was measured to have relatively high income inequality."

    Gini coefficient
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gini_coefficient

    Libertards fail in basic economics, which is ironic since they think all human behavior can be reduced to economics.

  • KDN||

    Gini coefficient...

    Really, can you even be bothered to read the shit you link to? The paragraph you pulled that quote from kills your own argument:

    In another example, the Soviet Union was measured to have relatively high income inequality: by some estimates, in the late 1970s, Gini coefficient of its urban population was as high as 0.38,[14] which is higher than many Western countries today. This number would not reflect those benefits received by Soviet citizens that were not monetized for measurement, which may include child care for children as young as two months, elementary, secondary and higher education, cradle-to-grave medical care, and heavily subsidized or provided housing. In this example, a more accurate comparison between the 1970s Soviet Union and Western countries may require one to assign monetary values to all benefits – a difficult task in the absence of free markets. Similar problems arise whenever a comparison between more liberalized economies and partially socialist economies is attempted.

    Jesus H. Christ, you are retarded.

  • cynical||

    "Communism has a lot of problems, large wealth inequality isn't one of them."

    Depends on how you count it. Capital ownership accounts for most of the wealth in the upper class, after all.

    If some nomenklatura bastard runs a set of state enterprises as his own personal fiefdom, it might not technically belong to him under the law, but it may as well. It's de facto wealth, but not de jure.

    Contrariwise, if the government intervenes too much in a capitalist economy, then they've usurped property rights from capitalists in fact, while leaving them on paper; thus, the more centrally planned the economy, the less actual wealth capitalists have.

  • Communism & Capitalism both||

    do what city-Statism is noted for:

    Concentrate power and control of wealth into a few higher, righter, and tighter hands.

  • yawn||

    To own something means to be able to make decisions about how that something is used. High-level communist officials could order that all kinds of things be used for their personal whims. Thus, they owned all kinds of things that weren't stashed away in their dachas and weren't officially "owned" by them.

    There have been religious cult leaders in the U.S. that officially owned nothing although they had a fleet of Rolls Royces at their beck and call.

    Of course, judging a society solely by income inequality in a snapshot is just stupid anyway.

  • Suki||

    Morning Links at 9:05AM

  • Payne obfuscates the fact that||

    1. Many college graduates are already working menial jobs.

    2. Fraud by the capitalists is much of the reason for the #OWS movement.

    From http://wearethe99percent.tumblr.com/

    I am 18, and attend Boston University. I live with my mom, dad, nana, and little brother. My parents & grandma escaped the war in Bosnia in the 90s. Eventually, they came to America.

    Both of my parents work full-time. We’re all fine financially.

    We bought a house 7 years ago. My parents can afford mortgage payments. We recently found out that our mortgage is FRAUDULENT. Bank of America tried to ILLEGALLY FORECLOSE on us a couple years ago. We were able to stop it.

    We haven’t paid our mortgage since January, when we found out that it is FRAUD. There are over 36,000 FRAUDULENT BANK DOCUMENTS in my county alone. I can’t imagine how many there are in the entire country.

    BofA knows that we know they tried to scam us. Since stopping our payments, we haven’t received a foreclosure notice.

    We refuse to pay for fraud & corruption.

    Corporations that outsource our jobs get tax breaks; 2/3 of corporations don’t pay taxes, but we’d go to jail if we didn’t pay ours (hey “53%” - welcome to the revolution); people die because they don’t have health insurance; banks drive people to homelessness & suicide by ILLEGALLY FORECLOSING.

    I’m the 99%, I’m sick of the elite RUINING PEOPLE’S LIVES.

    Join the global revolution. Occupywallst.org

  • ||

    I am 18, and attend Boston University.

    Ohh, impressive. Just the new man of the 21st century to run things. Who needs a free market when we have technocrats such as yourself to run things for us.

    Maybe you could make nana the commissar of bread production!

  • Back to Capitalist Fraud....||

    What we need is rule of law, instead of rule by Wall Street fat cats who have bought the government.

  • WTF||

    ...who have bought the government.

    And?......C'mon, you can figure it out!

  • Michael Moore already did||

    Michael Moore’s Capitalism: A Love Story comes home to the issue he’s been examining throughout his career: the disastrous impact of corporate dominance on the everyday lives of Americans (and by default, the rest of the world).

    http://topdocumentaryfilms.com.....ove-story/

  • WTF||

    I guess I was wrong, you apparently can't figure it out.

  • BakedPenguin||

    +1 WTF

  • kw6||

    Would that be Michael Moore, of Dog Eat Dog Films, INCORPORATED . . ?

  • Restoras||

    The leap is to great - kinda like Neo falling flat. Can't do it yet.

  • ||

    Just remember this, genius:

    Corporations can't throw me in a cage, strap me to a chair, and murder me...government can.

    But you probably knew that already you sadistic self-righteous controlling little cunt.

  • sarcasmic||

    Corporations can't throw me in a cage, strap me to a chair, and murder me...government can.

    You can't talk bad about government.
    We are government.
    If you criticize government you are criticizing me and you!
    The blame must be put on the core-pour-ray-shuns!
    They're the evil ones!
    Doesn't matter that they have no power to do violence, that they can only spend money that is theirs, that they go bankrupt if nobody voluntarily purchases their products, that they employ people, that they are voluntary associations of people... they're CORE-POUR-RAY-SHUNS!
    THEY'RE EVIL!
    THEY MAKE PROFITS!
    UNLIKE TAXES, PROFITS ARE THEFT!
    AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

  • ||

    That's racist against little cunts which can be good things. . .

  • BakedPenguin||

    +1 cap

  • Paul||

    What we need is rule of law, instead of rule by Wall Street fat cats who have bought the government.

    I'm confrused.... who sold it to them? Yeah, the guys you keep putting in office.

  • Dekedin||

    Needs more capital letters.

  • JUMP YOU FUCKERS||

    Gene Burnett - Jump You F*#kers (A Song For Wall Street)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yge311sFhC8

  • Dekedin||

    If you made this sign for Obama or any other DC politician you would be detained indefinitely for terrorism. Threaten businessmen and they let you trash a park for free.

  • False. But thanks for trying.||

  • Dekedin||

    Keep deluding yourself. Government size and scope increases astronomically, yet the Occupy idiots rally for tighter government control. only government has a monopoly on force, corporations can only use force when sponsored by the state. If you want regulators to stop being paid off, stop voting for liberal (and conservative) politicians who think the government should be omnipotent. The state isn't a venture capitalist, it doesn't get to pick winners and losers, yet the OWS crowd believes wrongly that somehow private actors are solely to blame, even though the rise of authoritarianism in DC has caused the vast majority of the problems in the US.

  • DekedOWS||

    Keep deluding yourself. Capitalist elite size and scope increases astronomically, yet the Reason idiots rally for totalitarian Corporate control.

  • BakedPenguin||

    +2 Deke

  • Tonio||

    yet the Reason idiots rally for totalitarian Corporate control

    O, rly? Got link?

  • KOCHsuckers = missing link||

    LOL

  • Sam Grove||

    idiots rally for totalitarian Corporate control.

    Which is what happens when the political hierarchy controls everything.

    Political government is a formalized structure of elite rule and nothing OWsers propose will change that.

  • BakedPenguin||

    +1 Deke

  • WTF||

    Since stopping our payments, we haven’t received a foreclosure notice.

    Don't worry, you will.

  • shorter Payne obfuscates the ||

    WAHHH!!!!! MOAR FREE STUFF!!111!!

  • Stopping Wall Street Fraud...||

    ...isn't asking for "moar free stuff."

  • WTF||

    I'm curious - what fraud are you referring to, specifically? If you are referring to government loans and bailouts, you'll find most here are against those already. And then you'd have to agree that removing the ability of the government to pick winners and losers is the answer to the problem, no?

  • Where's the fraud??? LOLOL||

    Are you blind?

    Where Are The Handcuffs (Hank Paulson)
    The Market Ticker ® - Commentary on The Capital Markets
    http://market-ticker.org/akcs-.....st=2797743

    MF Global, Risk Management And You
    The Market Ticker ® - Commentary on The Capital Markets
    http://market-ticker.org/akcs-.....st=2780919

    Need more?

  • WTF||

    Did you even fucking read it?

    Isn't it nice when the government steals your money?

    Even your own links say government is the problem. This is piss poor trolling; and even though I am just screwing around with you waiting for the morning links, you may just be too retarded to keep my interest, as bored as I am right now. Or can you be honest and admit the solution is to remove government's ability to pick winners and losers and interfere in the free market?

  • ||

    After I read the first one, I'm convinced that this is a Reasoner fucking with us.

    See also: using Michael Moore as a citation.

  • WTF||

    Yeah,you're right, it's probably a bored Reasoner entertaining himself.

  • Rhywun||

    Its 5th-grade rhetorical skills are eerily spot-on, though.

  • WALL ST. owns D.C.||

    We know government is the problem - it's bought and owned by Wall Street.

  • Sam Grove||

    and Obama is their man in D.C.

  • Tonio||

    Oh, epic smackdown. Bravo.

  • ||

    So we should get government out of markets, then?

  • BakedPenguin||

    +3 WTF

  • BakedPenguin||

    +2 Henry Payne

  • Suki||

  • Peter Schiff sounds Communist||

    Communists claimed their system was infected by Capitalism.

    I guess we'll just have to wait another 1000 years until the Communists can prove that PURE® Communism works and the Capitalists can prove that TRUE™ Capitalism works.

    Meanwhile, both are proven hoaxes that concentrate wealth and power to a few psychopaths, if you're not a puritanical ideologue and just honestly observe what is happening.

  • shorter Peter Schiff sounds ||

    Free markets suck! We need moar government control!derp!

  • BakedPenguin||

    +1 Suki

  • ||

    Impure capitalism works a lot better than impure socialism does. The closer you get to ideal socialism, the more people starve to death. The closer you get to an ideal free market, the better off everyone is.

  • sez da puritanical crapitalist||

  • Zeb||

    Of course communism was infected by capitalism. Any time you have people involved, there will be some sort of capitalism/market going on. That's what people do.

  • Zeb||

    Also, pick a fucking handle, asshole.

  • Asshole||

    A fucking handle

  • Medical Advisor||

    An asshole should not be used as a handle. Stick to grabbing the pubes.

  • ||

    lmao.. I just choked on my drink. Nice.

  • ||

    +1

  • Sam Grove||

    Actually, communists have already proved that communism doesn't work. It lasted about one week after the communist revolution in Russia before they went to socialism.

    Imposition of pure communism obliterates all the incentives and feedback for an economic system to function.

    OTH, a free market is based upon the incentives and feedback that people need to cooperate with others through production and trade.

    Capitalism is private profit AND LOSS, the incentive and the feedback.

    But it is beyond the left to even acknowledge these essential factors.

  • Restoras||

    Corporations don't pay taxes, people do.

  • Corporations are people too||

    When the legal fiction is convenient.

    Thanks for the Fibertarian bait-and-switch, Restorass.

  • free2booze||

    Your mortgage is fraudulent, so you stopped paying it? You borrowed money from a lender, for the purpose of purchasing a home. You are responsible for paying back the money that you borrowed. If you feel that BoA is not the rightful owner if your debt, then it is your responsibility to locate the correct lender, so you can pay back the money that you borrowed.

  • WAAHH!!!||

    A home is a fundamental human right!111!!1

  • Spot on Spot||

    Haven't you heard of finders keepers? It's like finding a $20 in the gutter the morning after New Year's Eve. Some poor slob (banker) was too drunk (giddy with glee at all the money they were making)to realize the money fell out of his pocket (toxic mortgages.)

    I wonder what makes the mortgage fraudulent? Could it be on the borrower's side, by say, overstating income on the loan application?

  • Just an Engineer||

    The fraud was that a bank official signed the form saying that it was correct when it in fact contained minor errors. The errors in no way actually favored the banks.

  • Vladimir Putin||

    There are numerous ways a loan officer can commit fraud when processing a loan application.

    They can offer to give the borrower two loans: one mortgage and one to make the down payment on the mortgage.

    They can conspire with the Realtor and the Appraiser to offer a loan at above market value.

    They can encourage the borrower to misstate their income to qualify for a bigger loan.

    I guess the question then becomes, was the fraud confined to the loan officer, or did the borrower conspire with the loan officer to perpetrate a fraud against the lender? If the borrower is involved then it seem clear that they should still be on the hook for the balance due, but if they weren't involved in the fraud, should they be held to account for the full balance?

  • Vladimir Putin||

  • ||

    Hate to break it to you, but tearing down what remains of capitalism in this country and building communism instead is only going to stop mortgage fraud the way pulling out all your teeth prevents cavities.

  • Tonio||

    Brilliant!

  • Rotten teeth need pulled.||

    Before the infection goes to the brain, Josh. Apparently it already has to yours.

  • Sparky||

    people die because they don’t have health insurance

    And I'm sure you can cite even one case where this is true.

  • Tonio||

    Brilliant, but I suspect that Ms. Smug BU won't get it.

  • No health insurance = death||

    The Relation between Health Insurance Coverage and Clinical Outcomes among Women with Breast Cancer

    John Z. Ayanian, Betsy A. Kohler, Toshi Abe, and Arnold M. Epstein

    New England Journal of Medicine 1993; 329:326-331 July 29, 1993
    http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/1.....7293290507

    Uninsured patients and those covered by Medicaid presented with more advanced disease than did privately insured patients (P

  • The Ingenious Hidalgo||

    Yeah, he didn't get it.

  • Concerned Citizen||

    He could visit my brother's grave, and see the size of his unpaid hospital bill. A month in ICU, and he was broke. (His demise was not the hospital's fault, he waited way too long to go to the ER.)

  • Tonio||

    Beyond not getting it.

    Sorry about your brother, and I mean this in all seriousness.

    BUT, people die from disease, trauma, etc. They die from lack of food or water. They do not die because of a lack of health insurance. Your brother was obviously receiving medical care based on your statement size of his unpaid hospital bill. Did the medical establishment cut off his care because of nonpayment?

    It seems you're angry about his death and projecting blame for this onto people whose only crime is to wish to be responsible for their individual selves.

  • Yes||

    "We haven’t paid our mortgage since January, when we found out that it is FRAUD. "

    So what you're saying is, you didn't do your due diligence when signing the mortgage.

    Got it.

  • ||

    Excuse me, please explain how your mortgage is FRAUD (all caps required apparently).
    Were your parent's signatures on the loan documents forged?
    Were the details of the loan documents altered after they signed?

    Or did they just decide it wasn't FAIR so they decided to stop paying the debt that they agreed to and promised to repay in good faith? And yet the evil, unfair bank dared to try and foreclose on the property that they used as collateral for the loan? Those bastards!

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    The top 1% also pay 37% of all income tax. Top 25% pay 85%.

  • DLM||

    The top 1% also pay 37% of all income tax. Top 25% pay 85%.

    What matters is the total of all taxes, not just income taxes. Those who receive more income pay more taxes. As long as I've heard this, I have never anything about the top X% paying Y% of the taxes combined with the actual percentage of the total income of earned by X (from either side).

  • ||

    That might be because it doesn't matter. Do you think the rich aren't paying sales taxes, property taxes...too?

  • 1st lvl Rogue||

    So, the guys that have more income pay more income taxes. Who would have thunk it?

    Next you'll tell me that car owners pay more gas taxes.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    No hop-ons.

  • ||

    High Speed Railroading?

  • Jerry||

    Where does the Ethiopian immigrant get the money for a NYC taxi license?

  • Lots of folk are stuck in 1987||

  • Kreel Sarloo||

    He doesn't own the cab, he drives it for the guy who does.

    Nobody who owns cab licenses actually drives them.

  • Suki||

    He skipped a meal or two to get the cab driver's license.

  • Tonio||

    You mean NYS DMV-issued operator permit (for the driver), or NYC Taxi Commission Medallion (for the vehicle)?

    Recent NPR report (almost libertarian-friendly) on NYC Medallions said that it's easy to get loans to finance Medallions.

  • Hank||

    At what point does "overly-labeled cartoon" become "illustrated op-ed"?

  • WTF||

    Yeah, I was kind of wondering what the point of the drawing was, with all the explanation involved it's completely irrelevant.

  • Mango Punch||

    Completely agree... + it's not even funny, just sad.

  • Sam Grove||

    Really funny political cartoons are quite rare.

    My favorite: http://ladylibertyslamp.files......=300&h=214

  • Abdul||

    Which one of them is making the taxi levitate?

  • ||

    See below. He's hitting jumps in that thing. Hope the springs are in good shape.

  • ||

    You'd think the passenger wouldn't look so relaxed with the cabbie catching air in that car.

  • Hank||

    "Imagine an upper west side Columbia grad heading to occupy wall street to protest the no one's given him a job being driven there by an ethiopian immigrant working one of three jobs in order to sock away enough dough to put himself through college!"

    See, I did the same thing Payne did and didn't even have to buy a yellow crayon.

  • Suki||

    +1

  • ||

    imagine Owebama sitting in the Oval office at his desk. He is on the phone,"Yes, this is Mr. Owebama...
    what do mean overdrawn, how could I be overdrawn, I still have paper and printing presses...?"

  • ||

    A picture is worth seven words.

  • Arduin Grimoire||

    I represent the 99% who thinks Payne sucks.

  • Marion Munzer||

    Are you the famous rectal, "Epi's Bane," who is responsible for all the trolling here? I understand you can post with 56 handles, simultaneously, 24/7. Is that true, or an urban legend?

  • ||

    What's the fucking point to this 'toon?

    If the dude in the back seat lives in the upper west side he's either got a job or a family member/sugar daddy to support him. They can spend their money any way they choose.

    That the hardworking guy from Ethiopia has to work harder to achieve the American Dream™ sucks and is unfair but life's unfair. To whine about it seems like much of what the OWS movement is about...JUST LIKE PAYNE.

    Now, if he had a senator in the backseat who's grown fat on taxpayer money and filthy crony lucre, then I might understand.

    Jesus, if any cartoonist ever needed a good punch in the dick it's Henry Payne.

  • ||

    The point is some people deal with life being hard by being pissy bitches, like you and most OWS protesters. Other people deal with life being hard by working hard, like most immigrants.

  • ||

    Reading is hard ain't it, Josh?

  • Bigger and Better AnonBot||

    Needs MOAR anonbot-oriented LABELS. There is a new world waiting for you though.

    (Endorsed by National AnonBot Association)

  • ||

    And...

    FUCK MAN, it's supposed to be a goddamn cartoon not a soliloquy on the capricious nature of fate.

    AAARGH FUUUUUUU!!

    *angrily tosses fecal matter at the screen*

  • The Art-P.O.G.||

    Yeah, ha ha.

    I'll give Payne a pass, though, because he actually used labels properly this time.

  • Bee Tagger||

    I guess I should remove the collector's edition Collateral dvd from my Amazon wish list since Payne just ruined the deleted scene they promised.

  • ||

    Did the guy in the back major in Jewish Studies with a minor in Hebrew?

  • Abdul||

    If he were circumcised, he'd be someone's head in a Bok cartoon.

  • ||

    The first 10 min tels it all.
    http://www.thedailyshow.com/

  • ||

    tells, sorry

  • Terr||

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • ||

    Getting paid to troll a free market board with anti-capitalist sentiments is the very height of irony.

  • Ice Nine||

    Where does the Ethiopian immigrant get the money for a NYC taxi license?

    Hell, where does the Ethiopian immigrant get the money for all of that Michael Jackson skin bleach stuff?

  • ||

    I sure ducked that one!

  • ||

    Is is the Bosian guy above's parents' mortgage a fraud? How do you find out your mortgage is a "fraud"? You got the money to buy the house didn't you? The only fraud I can imagine in that case is that the title is somehow not clear. But that wouldn't be the bank's fault it would be the seller's fault.

    Is it bad that whenever a post begins with "I am 18 years old" I automatically assume that it will be ill considered nonsense?

  • Apatheist||

    What if its "I am a 18 years old hottie"

  • Distinction Minus Difference||

    Still ill considered nonsense. Then, it's just SEXY ill-considered nonsense.

  • Spot on Spot||

    Wouldn't it be the buyer's fault if they failed in their due diligence to trace the title? The seller can only sell what he has, not more... buyer beware.

  • ||

    Getting paid to troll a free market board with anti-capitalist sentiments is the very height of irony.

    It beats driving a cab.

  • jtuf||

    Great article. It just needs 1 more detail. You forgot the OWS protesters sitting in the street preventing the cab driver from driving down it to earn his living.

  • Amanian||

    Noon is the new morning. Morning, Reason.

    D

    Needs longer, more-boring-and-ovious labels.

    Also, poor trolling for the loss. Derp.

    That is all.

  • jackets||

    good

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