(UPDATE: Nope. Fake story yanked by a real news site that didn't realize it was a fake story. Apologies)

Dog the Bounty Hunter has announced plans to enter Russia and illegally capture NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden.

Dog, a.k.a Duane Chapman, held a random press conference outside Hawaii’s Da Kine bail bonds, where he said “Sometimes you gotta bend the rules to save America, and if I can catch this traitor Snowden and bring him back to God’s side, then it’ll be worth the risk of a lifetime of hard labor in a Siberian gulag.”

Dog actually isn’t the only bounty hunter who has offered to go after the fugitive as the reward for the capture and return of Snowden is currently set at one billion dollars.