Barack Obama

Barack Obama's Selfie Stick is Really Kind of Sad

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So you're the most powerful man in the world (or at least in the top five). Why wouldn't you have the kids running your Twitter feed post this pic with a "YOLO man!" caption and pitch to "get covered" by Obamacare?

While you're at it, participate in a douchetastic video at Buzzfeed where you mug in front of a bathroom mirror like the long-lost son of Chuck McCann, the old Right Guard pitchman from the 1970s:

You had one job, Obama. Well, more than one, and you pretty screwed them all up: Foreign policy, economic policy, transparency, you name it. And when you're spending the last 30 or so years of your life wandering the planet as an ex-president, don't ever get on your high horse about the dignity of the office of the president or any of that sort of shit. Because whatever honor the Oval Office might have had after a multi-decade occupation by jackasses who were evil (LBJ, Nixon), semi-comatose (Ford, Carter), mendacious as hell (Reagan, Clinton), clueless (George W. Bush), you've kind of helped piss it all away. But WTF, right, muchacho? YOLO.