Nick Gillespie: I Want My DNA!

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For $99, the company 23andMe can run a quick, rudimentary test on your spit and give you a readout of who you are on a molecular level and crunch some numbers on predispositions to various sorts of ailments and conditions.

"In its infinite wisdom," writes Nick Gillespie,

the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has forbidden the personal genetic testing service 23andMe from soliciting new customers, claiming the company hasn't proven the validity of its product. The real reason? Because when it comes to learning about your own goddamn genes, the FDA doesn't think you can handle the truth. That means the FDA is now officially worse than Oedipus's parents, Dr. Zaius, and the god of Genesis combined, telling us that there are things that us mere mortals just shouldn't be allowed to know.