A.M. Links: UK Votes No on Action in Syria, Muslim Brotherhood Leader Arrested in Egypt, Study Finds Marijuana is Popular and Pain Killers Are Deadly

Credit: bisgovuk / Foter / CC BY-NDCredit: bisgovuk / Foter / CC BY-ND

  • The British Parliament struck down a motion supporting the principle of taking military action in Syria to dissuade Assad from using chemical weapons by a slim margin of only 13 votes. Prime Minister David Cameron acknowledged afterward that involvement in Syria may not be popular. 
  • Mohamed El-Beltagi, a senior leader of the Muslim Brotherhood who was suspected of inciting violence last month, was arrested in Egypt.
  • Marijuana is everyone's favorite drug, according to a first of a kind study in illicit drug use worldwide. The study also found that pain killers caused more than half of the drug-related deaths last year. 
  • Army Pvt. Chelsea Manning, formerly Bradley Manning, is doing well in prison, says her lawyer.
  • Seven members of Detroit's building inspection department were charged with taking bribes.
  • America experiences canyon envy as one larger than the Grand Canyon was recently discovered under ice sheets in Greenland. 

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  • Lord Humungus||

    Damn you, Fist!

  • db||

    Ha ha!

    /Nelson

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Wasted your chance, fool.

  • Lord Humungus||

    anytime FoE goes down, a million angels blow their triumphant horns of glory.

    (running on too little sleep)

  • robc||

  • db||

    Look down.

  • Ted S.||

    Too lazy to scroll down, I see.

  • robc||

    I put it in the proper place, in response to the first post.

  • Ted S.||

    Then you should have responded to db that he's as bad as P Brooks in not properly threading his replies.

  • Ted S.||

    (That is, before posting anything else.)

  • robc||

    as bad as P Brooks

    I admire P Brooks for his refusal to indent. I considered doing the same when they changed formats, but was weak and couldnt do it.

  • robc||

    And you were too lazy to scroll down to see that I had already commented on the fact that I was beat to it.

  • allogriu8||

    I work at Home with Google. It's by-far the nicest job I have had. I've made $64,000 so far this year working online and I'm a full time student. I've made such great money. It's really user friendly and I'm just so happy that I found out about it. Here is what I do, www.Bling6.com

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    America experiences canyon envy as one larger than the Grand Canyon was recently discovered under ice sheets in Greenland.

    Always have to one up us, eh, "Green"land?

  • db||

    We'll always have Christy.

  • some guy||

    Now we finally have a good reason to fight global warming.

  • robc||

    Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
    Through caverns measureless to man
    Down to a sunless sea.

  • alittlesense||

    "Where Alf, the sacred Newman dwelt
    And Nick Fazool, and Olaf Svelt
    And even Sean McGee"

    (Mad magazine parody of Kubla Khan called Irving Kahn)

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    [loud knocking]

    COLERIDGE: I'm busy!

    PERSON FROM PORLOCK: Don't worry, sir, I only want a minute of your time. [more knocking]

    COLERIDGE: All right, all right, I'm coming!

    PP: Mr. Coleridge, I'm here to show you the wonders of the new steam-powered dust-sucker. It makes brooms obsolete!

    COLERIDGE: Look, my good man, I'm working on a poem here...

    PP: We just put in the coal, turn on the machine, and it starts sucking!

    COLERIDGE: OK, I'll call you if I'm interested...hey! The coal smoke makes the house dirtier than before!

    PP: That's why I'm also selling this splendid bottle of cleaning fluid, which also doubles as a medicinal drink, good as a remedy against rheumatism, boils, the colic...

    COLERIDGE: Thank you! Here, let me show you the door...

    PP: But I haven't told you about this great new timeshare in the Lake District...[Coleridge slams door in PP's face]

    COLERIDGE: Now sod off, and don't come here again! OK, where was I, oh, yes, my manuscript for The Revenge of Kublai Khan...the editor said 300 pages, and I think it's just about that length...hey, there's only one page here! That machine must have sucked up all the other pages! Oh, well, I'll just go with what I have...

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    correction: The *Wrath* of Kublai Khan.

  • Pro Libertate||

    That's why we need a robust private sector manned space industry, so the U.S. can get to Mars and claim Valles Marineris as our own. We win!

  • mad libertarian guy||

    Well, the bright side is that the Danes finally have something they can be proud of.

  • db||

  • robc||

    Damn it, I was even slow in posting that.

  • robc||

    But I did post it in the proper response slot.

  • db||

    I was very close to first with mine. There were no comments yet when I posted it.

  • robc||

    You are wrong, there were two comments when you posted it.

  • robc||

    First posters are bad enough, but failed first posters deserve the death penalty.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    If no one can be first, there can be no comments. (Your world just got totally rocked.)

  • robc||

    Making the first post does not make you a first poster.

    Just like being born doesnt make you a birther.

  • Rich||

    I didn't *ask* to make the first post!

  • Lord Humungus||

    *head explodes*

  • Ted S.||

    From now on, comments start at #2.

    Or will be numbered using complex numbers. The is comment #(12i + 7).

  • db||

    One can make the argument that each level of indentation opens a new orthogonal dimension of threading.

  • robc||

    Could explain why our indentation is limited.

  • DontShootMe||

    One can, but one shouldn't.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    From now on, comments start at #2.

    Competition for first and second. I like it.

  • ||

    Competition for first and second. I like it.

    You know who else was intensely interested in number 2?

  • Nazdrakke||

    The German porn industry?

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    Three Dog Night?

  • Marshall Gill||

    Dr. Kellogg?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Marijuana is everyone's favorite drug...

    Then they should vote like it.

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    Marijuana beat out cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine and hallucinogens

    We can't Fist, first marijuana, then everything else.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    What about moonshine?

  • Gbob||

    We are denying them the right to vote by not making it easier for people on pot to vote on election day. We need to support policies that would allow us to leave a trail of doritos that would lure stoned voters into their places of election.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Disenfranchisement. Disenfrenchfriesment. Disenchant Heisman. Diss and chant "Ivan Reitman."

    Wait, what were we saying?

  • Lord Humungus||

    Chinese shopping malls installing women-only car parks (and yes… they have larger spaces)

    Car parks in China have begun installing women-only zones to cater for female drivers who have trouble parking.

    Painted pink, decorated with designs and with larger spaces, this underground car park in Tianjin, east China has been designed purely with women in mind. It even has pink digital signs directing women to the all-female parking zone.

    sexxxisssst!

  • db||

    How could they possibly tell who is a worse driver than another in Tianjin?

  • Neoliberal Kochtopus||

    Given that douchey parkers are split on gender lines (IME) 50-50, it kinda is.

  • Ebriosa||

    Maybe it's meant to shame both genders into parking better? Leave notes on hyper masculine cars that atre badly parked asking "Ma'am, did you know there's a special spot for you?" Women can boycott it and circulate emails with parking tips. The spaces will end up being used by families with big doors and hard to reach carseats, paranoid small car drivers, and Marty McFly.

  • Slammer||

    ADD: Asian Driving Disorder

  • Ruckus||

    Reading the headline, I thought the reason for it was going to be a security/safety issue for women; with regards to muggings, assaults, etc.

    Well I guess quarantining female drivers from the general public is still a safety issue.

  • ||

    I don't pretend to know the answer, but the second graf doesn't support the assertion in the first:

    One of the significant risk factors was gender. But contrary to the apparent belief of the shopping mall planners, men have a far higher risk of crashing then women.

    In the study, fatal crashes by male drivers were more than three times than that of female drivers.

    emphasis mine

  • Neoliberal Kochtopus||

    The British Parliament is my Hero for the Day.

  • db||

    They probably immediately immediately went into debate over whether they should be allowed to censor the media's reporting on their vote or to cut off editor's heads instead.

  • Neoliberal Kochtopus||

    OK DB HERO FOR THE MINUTE THEN

  • db||

    There are so many I'd like to thank...

    But really, I did it on my own and everyone else was really more of a discouragement than a help.

  • Libertymike||

    No, its okay that the Parliament is your hero for the day. I might be persuaded to agree with you.

  • Rich||

    "Cake ... or DEATH?!"

  • UnCivilServant||

    Cake.

  • MJGreen||

    We're all out of cake at the moment. So your choices are, "or death."

  • UnCivilServant||

    If I kill you, does that meet the death quota?

  • Stormy Dragon||

    Damn it! Can't you let us be happy for one day?

  • Medical Physics Guy||

    I always thought that having unarmed cops, explicitly as a hedge against tyranny, would get some respect for the UK from the Reasonoids. But no, the comments always focus on the fact that, well, everything else about the UK is a good example of welfare state suckage. Well, maybe we're back in the black after potentially preventing naked international aggression.

  • wwhorton||

    Actually, I think about that pretty often watching British procedural dramas and such. As an American I'm not super-comfortable with armed police, or, perhaps more to the point, I'm not wild about a class of people who are better armed than I and have the legal right to detain me. For all that the UK has a lot of socialist and statist nonsense, the unarmed police and the parliament have got us in the US beat.

    Now y'all just need to take it to the next level: keep the police disarmed and lift handgun restrictions on citizens.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Oddly, Parliament may have more influence on whether we use military force than our own Congress.

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    Woah....

  • Pro Libertate||

    I know! And I'm not being the least bit sarcastic or snarky!

  • Tejicano||

    "Army Pvt. Chelsea Manning, formerly Bradley Manning, is doing well in prison, says her lawyer."

    Doing what well?

  • Rich||

    "Well" is her cellmate.

  • Atanarjuat||

    Does "she" get housed with females? Clearly society has progressed to the point where journalists are on board with the woman trapped in a man's body thing, but is the army's penal* system?

    *Huh huh.

  • tarran||

    Manning is in the male section of the prison.

    What a fucking train-wreck.

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    Prison Counselor: Why do you say you feel "trapped" in a man's body?

    "Trapped" Convict: Well, sometimes I get them menstrual cramps real hard.

  • Duke||

    And when they’re were no crawdads, we ate sand.

    You ate sand?

    We ate sand.

  • KMA Too||

    Seven hunnerd an' ninety-one...Aw, bullshit!

  • ||

    You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin' Donuts, call a cop.

  • Pro Libertate||

    That's my favorite Coen film.

  • DontShootMe||

    Manning is going to have a very miserable stay in prison...

  • ||

    Show some respect and use her new name - Womanning

  • WTF||

    Wymynning?

  • Ted S.||

    Wenching.

    (This is why there are no female libertarians....)

  • T||

    Demanning.

  • RBS||

    Tonio will be along shortly to tell yall to behave.

  • Tonio||

    Present. But there's a difference between snark and being truly mean-spirited.

  • Numeromancer||

    Manning. Badly Manning is his name.

  • BiMonSciFiCon||

    Is that like Taylor Swifting?

  • DontShootMe||

    So, this was her defense, she wasn't disclosing classified documents, she was just gossiping?

  • ||

    Well, everyone knows women can't keep a secret, but the government didn't know she was a woman, so no dice.

  • ||

    I'm a woman and I can keep a secret. I've never told anyone about your fantasy involving Lena Dunham, Lindsay Lohan, Lemmiwinks and ten pounds of butter

  • ||

    I don't think it qualifies as a secret after it goes up on Redtube.

  • Lord Humungus||

    it was a secret.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    I've never told anyone about your fantasy involving Lena Dunham, Lindsay Lohan, Lemmiwinks and ten pounds of butter

    Now that's just plain sick. I'm not even sure that Warty is good with that one. Even the Hugeman has standards, low as they may be.

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    Sounds like a challenge to SF to write it up...

  • ||

    Even the Hugeman has standards

    He was certainly critical of my technique.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    He was certainly critical of my technique.

    He does get perturbed when you don't scream with an inflection that doesn't properly convey a "requisite amount of pain and suffering."

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Prime Minister David Cameron acknowledged afterward that involvement in Syria may not be popular.

    And then his voice kind of trailed off as he talked about what was next.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Rival campers who opened fire turn out to be sheriff's deputies

    An apparent booze-fueled dispute over loud music between two groups at a Chino campground over the weekend escalated to the point where men from both sides drew guns and opened fire.

    No one was hurt, but the two alleged gunmen have plenty to explain.

    It turns out that the rival gun-toting campers were both Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies. Authorities suspect the off-duty cops learned they were colleagues only after their campground showdown.
  • Tejicano||

    Too bad they were poor shots. I'd love to see how they would spin that one.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    When you're that drunk, everyone looks like Christopher Dorner.

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    They were all telling Christopher Dorner ghost stories around the campfire, and they got spook and started shooting at shadows.

  • Rich||

    "YOU have my black arm!!"

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    Great story

  • db||

    The only ones professional enough...

  • WTF||

    Well, yeah, because non-cop gun enthusiasts probably would have hit what they were aiming at.

  • sarcasmic||

    Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore said both deputies have been relieved of duty with pay.

    They get a paid vacation until the story blows over and the charges are dropped.

  • Atanarjuat||

    Once again, I rage because completely innocent Sheriff Nick Finch was suspended WITHOUT pay.

  • sarcasmic||

    Snitches get stitches.

  • wwhorton||

    Just read that story. Can he please get fired from ironically-named Liberty County and come to Anne Arundel? Hey, it's not as warm, but it's twice as humid!

  • Drake||

    I wonder if they will go camping on their vacations?

  • Lord Humungus||

    time for a rematch.

  • CatoTheElder||

    This is a very interesting story that illustrates the violence privilege that law enforcement officer believe they have.

    One drunk cop thinks music is too loud and has privilege to threaten violence to enforce his will. Other drunk cop sees firearm in the hands of a citizen and has privilege to use violence pre-emptively.

  • Lord Humungus||

    now, now - no toilet humor here!

    Trojan Asteroid Found Orbiting Uranus

    A Trojan asteroid is a transient space rock which is temporarily captured by the gravity of a giant planet. It shares the planet’s orbital path, locked into a specific position known as a Lagrange point. What makes 2011 QF99 unusual is its presence in the outer solar system. Researchers found the scenario a bit unlikely. Why? The answer is simply because of planet size. According to theory, the strong gravitational pull of the larger neighboring planets should have destabilized any captured asteroid’s orbit and shot Uranian Trojans out of the neighborhood long ago.
  • db||

    All the astonomical potty humor here was used up yester--who am I kidding?

  • Tejicano||

    There's a Trojan near Uranus?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    That sounds pretty safe.

  • Not an Economist||

    The earth has a second moon occasionally when it traps an asteroid for a few orbits. Rare but it does happen. We've captured a few spent booster rockets as well.

  • Brett L||

    Moties, dude. Its the only explanation.

  • Slammer||

  • db||

    Imagine a tweeting war between Assad and Obama. This is how international disputes should be decided.

  • CatoTheElder||

    I can't wait to read Sasha's retort.

  • MythicalLibertarianWoman||

    Then, when they're older (you know, 14 or so), they'll have some kind of Romeo and Juliet romance. I can see the fanfics now.

  • CampingInYourPark||

    His pro-war claims - "victory is ours in the end, no matter how much time it takes" - were liked by Ali and Sally, two children of deputy vice-president Mohammed Khierbek and by three children of a former deputy defence minister, Assef Shawkat, who was killed in July 2012.

    That school in CA just found the journalists it needs to monitor the social networking habits of it's students

  • Pro Libertate||

    This seems familiar to me, somehow. Mother of All Battles?

  • DontShootMe||

    Great, we're going to war because an 11 year old insulted The One.

  • Drake||

    It's a red line that can't be ignored.

  • Tejicano||

    Hey, give our prez a break here. Putin and Assad are in leagues so far above O'Bozo that they had to find somebody for him to play with.

  • ||

    I thought you had to be 13 or older to have a Facebook account. C'mon Zuckerberg, yank the little fucker's account

  • ||

    Rules only apply to Americans, not the immigrants he wants to import.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    Da Red Line!

  • Gbob||

    Given the level of foreign policy sophistication this administration shows, a Facebook fight sounds about right. Putin is out of Obamas weight class. Perhaps an eleven year old can be handled.

  • Rich||

    Leaked documents reveal US sees Israel as a spying threat

    What are The American People, chopped liver?

  • Ted S.||

    Part of me wants Jonathan Pollard to rot in jail just to piss off those Israelis who think his spying is less bad because Israel is generally a US ally.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    It's always the Joos, isn't it?

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    Eh, I would expect the Israelis to spy on us, a lot. Their fate is oft, seemingly, in our hands, and they really want to know what is going on here. Not to say we should not catch and punish anyone who spies on us (you too, NSA).

  • Cascadian Ephor Xenocles||

    Israel is a spying threat, have been for decades. Everyone knows that.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    They ARE a major spying threat. I mean, it's not like they're planning a secret attack on the U.S., but they have a history of playing Mr. Grabby Hands with U.S. military data.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I suspect we spy on them quite a bit, too.

  • WTF||

    I'm pretty sure we spy on everyone. We just do it incompetently.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Al-Qaeda Links Cloud Syria as U.S. Seeks Clarity on Rebels

    More than two years into Syria’s civil war, radical Sunni Islamists are emerging as the prevalent force seeking to topple President Bashar al-Assad, according to military analysts in Europe and the Middle East. Their influence is among the biggest challenges facing the U.S. and allies such as Saudi Arabia as they decide which anti-Assad forces to back and how.

    “Two of the most powerful insurgent factions in Syria are al-Qaeda factions,” Evan Kohlmann, senior partner at Flashpoint Partners in New York, said by telephone. “Even were the Assad regime to fall and there be some kind of takeover by rebels, there’s not a clear understanding that everyone here will be able to agree and form any kind of government.”
  • Ted S.||

    The study also found that pain killers caused more than half of the drug-related deaths last year.

    Acetaminophen poisoning?

  • BakedPenguin||

    This is what I was wondering about. Acetaminophen is far more toxic than any opiate.

  • WTF||

    I wouldn't be surprised. There's plenty of stories of people taking it for a hangover and destroying their livers in the process.

  • Brett L||

    Dated a girl who lost her dad to that.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Probably opioids. They account for about 75% of medication overdoses in the U.S.

  • Ted S.||

    It's probably the acetominophen in the opioids and not the opioids themselves.

    Example #7529843798524765426 of how the War on Drugs is morally wicked.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Video: Japan's toilet cleaning clubs

    Cleaning public toilets is considered a social activity in Japan. In fact, one group even has a Facebook page and meets once a week to disinfect, scrub, and bond in the bathroom.
  • Rich||

    Flushed with pride!

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    I...you...I mean...

    *shrugs, begins golf clap*

  • ||

    A very fine book

  • Slammer||

    bond bondage in the bathroom. They're Japanese, right?

  • WTF||

    Needz moar tentacles.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    That's just fucked up.

  • Juice||

    "We don't view feces as dirty."

    Then why are you cleaning it?

  • Lord Humungus||

    Did Obama Administration Leaks Already Spoil the Syria Attack?

    U.S. airstrikes into Syria will begin within days and involve Tomahawk cruise missiles fired by American warships in the eastern Mediterranean. They will last less than a week and target a limited number of Syrian military installations. And they will be designed to send a stern message to Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, not force him from power.
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    That's the word coming from some in the Obama administration -- the White House swears it's not them. And while Obama's aides publicly insist that the President hasn't made a final decision about whether to attack Syria, anonymous officials within his administration are leaking a strikingly large amount of detailed information about the timing, duration and scope of the potential military intervention. The flood of details raises a pair of related questions. Is the administration deliberately trying to telegraph its plans for a strike? And if so, why?
  • Rich||

    Valerie Jarrett has been strangely silent about all this.

  • CampingInYourPark||

    The flood of details raises a pair of related questions. Is the administration deliberately trying to telegraph its plans for a strike? And if so, why?

    To gauge public reaction and then try to claim wisdom in walking the US back from the precipice?

  • mad libertarian guy||

    It actually sounds much more positive than that. It sounds like even the people who work directly with the administration are tired of Obama's shit, and so the whole deal is leaking like a sieve.

  • ||

    Kim Jong-Un has his pop star ex-girlfriend shot. So now we won't hear her follow-up to Excellent Horse-like Lady

    more

  • Tejicano||

    I wasn't quite sure, and really didn't want to think too much about it, but could it be that "Horse-like" was mis-translated? Possibly did she mean something about a woman liking horses?

  • Drake||

    If it was titled "Horse-like Great Leader" she might still be alive.

  • BakedPenguin||

    From the lyrics of the song, I think it meant to emphasize the hard working aspect of a horse, not physical appearance.

  • some guy||

    What about the obedient and servile aspects of a horse? NORK is big on people being those things.

  • db||

    Sarah Jessica Parker is rumored to be doing a tribute video.

  • Ted S.||

    The Cleveland Browns should have told you this was discussed here extensively the past few days, but they let you down one more time.

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    Will they be the pallbearers at the funeral?

  • Lord Humungus||

    'Obama's America' Producer Celebrates Michael Moore's Removal From Academy Governing Board

    Michael Moore has lost his position as a governor on the Academy’s documentary board, and Oscar-winning producer Gerald Molen, one of the film industry’s rare outspoken conservatives, is belatedly taking a victory lap.

    In a letter to Cheryl Boone Isaacs, the recently elected president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, Molen wrote: “On behalf of my fellow filmmakers and the vast American Heartland which, on occasion, has felt disenfranchised by the Academy, I want to personally thank you and the Academy for removing Mr. Moore and restoring a fair and impartial voting process to the documentary category of the Oscars.”
  • mr simple||

    Since when has Michael Moore been associated with documentaries?

  • UnCivilServant||

    He may have watched one once.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    Since he was able to con the world in to believing that the films he makes are documentaries.

  • Marshall Gill||

    The world? No, just the stupid.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Degrading the dream

    Every mass movement in America, the philosopher Eric Hoffer once wrote, becomes a racket in the end.

    And he hadn’t even witnessed the full course of the civil rights movement. If the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington is a time for taking stock, the score is clear. The Dream was a glorious triumph, changing America forever and making it more just. The contemporary civil rights movement, partly as a consequence, is an intellectually exhausted disgrace.
  • Drake||

    Yep.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Why an Oklahoman restaurant has a monument to the dark god Azathoth

    The restaurant discovered a three-foot tall, concrete block on their front lawn last Friday. The roughly cut block bears a bronze plaque with the inscription “In the Year of Our Lord 2012 Creer Pipi claimed this land for Azathoth.”
  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    NEVER. EATING. THERE.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    The nearby Japanese restaurant, of course, has a monument to Cthulhu.

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    NOT EATING THERE EITHER.

    Unless they have a really killer Fungi from Yuggoth Miso soup.

  • wwhorton||

  • ||

    He tried to claim Lawton, but found it too disgusting and terrifying.

  • UnCivilServant||

    No love for Nyarlathotep?

  • mr simple||

    Nyarlathotep, being a servant of Azathoth, probably placed the Block there to drive us all mad.

    Personally, I'm more of a Yog-Sothoth man.

  • UnCivilServant||

    Go back to Dunwich. We won't have any scrubbing bubble gods here.

  • Azathoth!!||

    Ooooh...how much land?

  • Lord Humungus||

    U.S., Switzerland strike bank deal over tax evasion

    The United States and Switzerland have struck a deal to allow some Swiss banks to pay fines to avoid or defer prosecution over tax evasion by their U.S. customers, moving closer towards ending a long-running dispute.

    The deal will apply to about 100 second-tier Swiss banks, which could have to disclose some previously hidden information and face penalties of up to 50 percent of assets they managed on behalf of wealthy Americans.
  • Ted S.||

    I say "avoision".

  • ||

    It's a perfectly cromulent word.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Seven members of Detroit's building inspection department were found guilty of taking bribes.

    And not giving superiors a taste.

  • MOFO.||

    Wait, there is corruption in Detroit? How long has this been going on?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    To the end.

  • Slammer||

    NYPD stakeout detective admits to stealing $6K in fraud scam

    forfeited his $70,000-a-year pension and medical benefits worth an estimated $3 million

    My wife helped me up, because I fell out of the fucking chair.

  • some guy||

    He missed his chance to legally steal ~$3M so he could illegally steal $6K? Awesome. He's the closest thing they have to a hero.

  • UnCivilServant||

    It was the expectation taht no one would ever catch him.

  • Rich||

  • Gbob||

    God damn Hare Krishna extremists. I call for drone strikes.

  • Rich||

    "Cow excrement is the purest substance in the Universe."

  • Gbob||

    Huh. According to wikipedia, in the Hare Krishna movement you're only allowed to have sex once a month just for procreation. I never knew my ex wife was a member. Perhaps her droning on and on was really just chanting. I don't know. I never listened.

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    Gbob...I laughed.

  • Tejicano||

    My ex would have considered you over-sexed.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    It's Willer Time!

  • Lord Humungus||

    LH in crowded airport:

    Hare Krishna: Excuse me...

    LH: Fuck Off.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    A little problem for the Hawaiian Democrat Party.

    Hawaiian Democrat is a little bit redundant

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    This is Nancy Pelosi's rising star?

    “I smell a skunk,” Tulsi Gabbard wrote, according to the magazine. “It’s clear to me that you’re acting as a conduit for The Honolulu Weekly and other homosexual extremist supporters of Ed Case.”

  • Mike M.||

    It's pretty tough to "lead from behind" when there's nobody at all willing to get ahead of you. What are you going to do now, Hussein-o?

  • Ted S.||

    "Lead from behind" = pushing.

    Damn nudges....

  • ||

    "Bend over baby, I'll drive"

  • Lord Humungus||

    ‘The Great Shift’: Americans Not Working

    One factor seems to be the so-called skills gap — the slow growth in educational attainment in recent decades, even as the economy has become more technologically advanced.

    A second factor is most likely the weak economic growth of the past 13 years: the 2000-1 dot-com bust, the mediocre expansion that followed, the financial crisis that began in 2007 and the disappointing recovery of the last few years.

    Another cause may be the rise in the number of workers on disability. The report cites a study by the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco to argue that disability is helping cause the decline in work. That’s probably right, although it is worth remembering that the growth of the ranks of the disabled may be more of an effect of the jobs slump than a cause.
  • Pro Libertate||

    We're paying people not to work, at least, not as hard as they might.

  • db||

    Get some lube and a towel: U.S. Prepares to Go Solo on Syria.

  • Rich||

    "Here, what's being contemplated is of such a limited and narrow nature that it's not as if there's a similar imperative for bringing in different capabilities from different countries," a senior administration official said.

    If "what's being contemplated is of such a limited and narrow nature", surely this "senior administration official" can provide its name.

  • CampingInYourPark||

    "Here, what's being contemplated is of such a limited and narrow nature that it's not as if there's a similar imperative for bringing in different capabilities from different countries," a senior administration official said.

    They're going to hire a plane to fly over Damascus with an "Assad Sucks" banner

  • Rich||

    Now, *that* is a firmly-worded letter!

  • mr simple||

    An actual illegal, unilateral war? It's everything the dems have been dreaming of.

  • Dave Krueger||

    Seven members of Detroit's building inspection department were found guilty of taking bribes.

    We need to start looking at the positive side of Detroit. For example, Americans can now vacation in a dilapidated third world country now without ever leaving U.S. borders Detroit is like a northern version of poverty stricken party town, Tijuana, except without the partying.

    It's important to note that most of the people that made Detroit what it is have now scattered to other major cities in the U.S. in order to bring to those cities the same prosperity they brought to Detroit. And, from what I hear, they have been very successful. Pretty soon these Tijuana clones will be within easy driving distance of everyone in the country. It's like the blossoming of a new culture. It's only a matter of time before it has its own cuisine, fashion, and music.

    With luck, I'll be dead by then.

  • John||

    If we just said that all commercial buildings and commercial rentals had to have liability insurance for collapse, we wouldn't need inspectors. The insurance companies would do it for us.

  • some guy||

    Or, the government could just ignore the issue entirely because building owners already have a huge incentive to not let their buildings collapse and tenants also have a huge incentive to not live in a collapsing building.

  • John||

    NOt if I don't have any assets. The problem is that liability for such things can be so large some people are better off chancing it since they don't have anything to lose in case of judgement. All insurance does is make sure people are able to pay for any damage they cause, which is not a bad thing.

  • UnCivilServant||

    "My assets consist of - that pile of rubble over there. Seeya."

  • John||

    The Syrian war has now gone from idiotic to surreal. The UK not wanting to go gave the Chocolate Nixon an out. We are not doing this in self defense or out of any national interest. We are doing this in the name of international law and the international community. So if the community is not interested, we can say "we tried but the world isn't willing" and walk away. Instead, we are going to war anyway. It is insane.

  • db||

    "Hollow Chocolate Nixons" sounds like a hipster white supremacist boy band.

  • CatoTheElder||

    Considering Mencken's definition of democracy(*) and Obama's mendacity and proclivity of getting into wars rather than out of them and his political affiliation (D), I think that it would be more appropriate to call him the "Chocolate Johnson".

    (*) “Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.” Mencken

  • tarran||

    There's a very good rule in life.

    Don't make threats you aren't prepared or able to carry out. Sure, you can get away with the occasional bluff. But one day, someone will call you out and then you are fucked.

    Had Obama a scintilla of courage of his convictions or analytical ability he could have avoided being put in the "Heads I lose, tails I lose" situation he has blundered into.

  • John||

    He has lived his life in liberal circles where no one would challenge or call a liberal black man. So, he doesn't know how to think things through. He thinks he can say anything and get away with it. And with the media and his supporters he can. He can shoot his mouth off about something one day and do exactly the opposite the next and no one will call him on it. But the rest of the world doesn't care that he is black and is thus less forgiving.

  • tarran||

    This gets back to something you pointed out last night about the Juvie system being ineffective.

    Among the worst things you can do to a child's moral and intellectual development is to not call the child out for bad judgement or bad behavior. It produces children in adult bodies who don't understand consequences and make terrible decisions that hurt themselves or the people around them.

    For the kids who are alleged to have murdered that vet, they faced no meaningful consequences for burglary etc, and now suddenly they are facing murder charges and hard time. Had they faced a harsher punishment for their previous misdeeds they might have paused rather than engaging in a thrill killing.

    It's not easy to do this for a parent; showing unconditional love for a child, while teaching them that burying their turtle in all the baby-powder is a very bad thing can be difficult. But someone has to do it or you risk getting a monster out of the Lord of the Flies.

  • John||

    That was exactly my point. We don't punish them for small crimes and then they think they can get away with anything that they finally do something so serious that they have ruined their own and probably someone else' life.

  • tarran||

    Of course, how do you punish a kid?

    Locking a kid for stealing a car in jail for 15 years doesn't really work. He could be someone who just got stupid, or he is a John Gotti in training who needs to be off the streets.

    I don't want to support corporal punishment, but every time I consider the question of jail, particularly for minors or women (whose child bearing years are so limited), I find myself wondering if corporal punishment might not be more effective, humane and even rehabilitative (a guy who just got three strokes from a cane can be back at work in a week, and not lose his job, house, and friends).

    It's a very knotty issue.

  • Lord Humungus||

    I see what you did there.

  • robc||

    Im in the same place.

    I dont think the lash can be brought back due to the slavery era history and the typical black/white crime ratios, but it would probably be a good idea.

  • John||

    I don't see how the lash is any more inhumane than locking someone up in a cage for years. Prison is really cruel. It was invented by religious fanatics who thought they could transform souls. There is nothing necessarily moral or ethical about it.

  • Tonio||

    Also, the fact that the Saudi's do this would be an impediment to re-implementing that here.

  • John||

    I think you can punish kids for violent crimes. Stealing a car is one thing. But you don't go from stealing a car to killing someone. There are steps in between. Violent kids need to be locked up so that they are not a threat and understand that their actions have real consequences.

  • ant1sthenes||

    That's my feeling. We need painful but not permanently damaging corporal punishment (as an optional alternative to traditional jailtime, which should hopeful torpedo attempts to stop reform). Basically, jail should be for protecting society from true dangers, pain and shame should be used as a deterrent.

  • CatoTheElder||

    John has nailed it here.

  • BakedPenguin||

    He really is stupid. With no international support, public opinion in the US massively against it, and the lack of solid evidence, he could make a good case for walking this back. If he goes ahead, he is just a moron.

  • CampingInYourPark||

    He really is stupid. With no international support, public opinion in the US massively against it, and the lack of solid evidence, he could make a good case for walking this back.

    I wonder if he and Cameron flipped a coin to see who would "go first"

  • tarran||

    It puts me in mind of my first major mistake as a naval officer.

    I was an ensign standing my first training EOOW watch on a prototype reactor (this was the second phase of nuke training). I was nervous as hell because the chief civilian test engineer had been bird-dogging me for two weeks, and pretty much everyone was aware that I was on his shit list (to this day I don't know why).

    I had begun to notice that some of the enlisted instructors were subtly disrespecting me, and I hadn't formulated a plan on how to deal with it.

    So I'm on watch, and the test engineer is grilling me with questions while we're running through a simulated submarine maneuvers, and I was pretty flustered. As a result, I gave an order to the instructor electrical operator that should have gone to the phone talker, and he leaned back in his chair, crossed his hands, smirked and told me that that wasn't his job (it was something he could do at his watchstation, but should properly be done by the phone talker).

    There was this long pause while I suspect I stood there pale and gaping, considering how to do deal with the insubordination, while everyone stared at me. The right thing to do operationally was to tell the phone talker to do it, but if I did I was done as a leader: you can't have people challenging your orders when time is a factor, especially by telling you to fuck yourself.

    So I ordered him to do it, and took the hit in my grade for a minor violation proper procedures.

  • tarran||

    When Obama was thinking about Syria a year ago, he needed to be forehanded and consider exactly what he wanted to see happen and how he should react to the various different paths the conflict could develop. If it was so important that he was contemplating military action, he needed to get the military, the CIA and state on the same page.

    Instead he is reacting emotionally, and he is in the same situation that I was in as an Ensign when a E-5 crossed his arms and in effect told me to go fuck myself.

  • tarran||

    The cost of ordering the EO to do that thing was that I came across as a bit of a Captain Bligh and looked like an idiot. Most of the instructors were enlisted and we officers nominally outranked them, but we were supposed their students, and pulling rank on an instructor was basically a huge sign saying that you were a bad officer.

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    You should have informed him he would have missed the next ration of rum...he would have scrambled to obey!

    /1859

  • BakedPenguin||

    Yes, but you were, apparently, capable of learning from your mistake. It probably helped that people were providing corrective feedback, which I don't think happens a lot in the White House right now.

  • Rabban||

    Was this aboard the MARF? S8G or on of those Goosecreek boats?

  • CampingInYourPark||

    I don't the US is going to strike now. After further reflection, Obama will save us from from his administration.

  • Rich||

    There is *no way* he will dissolve the government.

  • Rich||

    All Obama has to do to get out of this mess is to proclaim that attacking Syria would be crossing another red line.

  • sarcasmic||

    At least our Peace Prize winning president doesn't involve us in unjust wars in defiance of the international community. Oh, wait... I mean... Racist!

  • creech||

    What do they call cowboys in Hawaii?

  • sarcasmic||

    Asians with big hats? ("whether it's in Europe or here in Asia..."")

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Uh... shoot. Sorry America, My parliament won't let me go to war.

    Well duh. You're not supposed to ask them.

  • ||

  • Lord Humungus||

    qive that roo some boxing gloves.

  • Juice||

    To be fair, he kept taunting him with "Roo! Roo! Roo!"

  • db||

    Then you should have responded to db that he's as bad as P Brooks in not properly threading his replies.

    I have a lot of respect for Brooks's principle in this matter.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Right wing Town Hall agrees:

    Obama is the most frugal President in modern times.

    http://finance.townhall.com/co.....ampaign=nl

  • sarcasmic||

  • robc||

    Still my favorite of theirs.

  • Lord Humungus||

    It turns out that Obama supposed frugality is largely the result of how TARP is measured in the federal budget. To put it simply, TARP pushed spending up in Bush’s final fiscal year (FY2009, which began October 1, 2008) and then repayments from the banks (which count as “negative spending”) artificially reduced spending in subsequent years.

    maybe you should read before you post.

  • John||

    That would require him having an IQ above 70.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Yet Bush's final year of $3.5T without TARP is the same as this year.

    You dumbasses like the Big Gov GOP and shill for it 24/7.

  • Lord Humungus||

    aww... somebody is all butthurt. Poor little guy.

  • Ken Shultz||

    Is this the part where you start telling us that ObamaCare is good for the deficit and makes our country more competitive internationally?

  • Drake||

    1. What branch of government determines spending?

    2. What team controlled that branch during Bush's last 2 years?

    Bonus: Where was Obama during this time?

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    Dan Mitchell is also a libertarian.

  • ||

    Who said this:

    I remember looking in the mirror as a kid and it would be like for an hour at a time, and I’d be like: 'I’m just so beautiful. Everybody is so lucky that they get to look at me.

    The answer is here

  • John||

    Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

  • Ted S.||

    Damn. I guessed Obama.

  • WTF||

    You knew it had to be some lefty twit.

  • ||

    Well, it goes to show that being ridiculously overconfident can really pay off.

  • WTF||

    Especially if you have the right parents and know all the right people.

  • alittlesense||

    should the "k" be changed to "bl"?

  • Juice||

    blnow?

  • ||

    And espouse all the right views.

  • Rasilio||

    "Snark Plissken"

    I gotta admit that is the greatest user name in history, you sir win the internets

  • Tonio||

    It is quite clever, but Somalian Road Corporation and End Child Unemployment still reign. SP is very clever, but not necessarily libertarian; the other two combine cleverness with libertarian references.

  • Ruckus||

    I have no idea who came up with "Somalian Road Corporation" but I'm stealing it for my fantasy football team name.

    Hopefully it will piss a few people off.

  • ||

    Invisible Furry Hand is also pretty awesome and throws in the free market ref.

  • ||

    SP is very clever, but not necessarily libertarian;

    Eyepatch--monocle? Yeah, totally reaching there.

  • ||

    Thanks, I felt it was time for an upgrade.

  • ||

    My sister thought she had a beautiful singing voice when we were kids, despite my constant efforts to tell her the truth.

  • mr simple||

    I'd fuck me.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Was the chemical weapons attack in Syria really just a dud FAE?

  • Rich||

    Nice twist. Looking forward to the UN report.

  • Drake||

    Never heard of the aerosol fuel in a FAE being particularly poisonous (I'm sure it isn't good for you, but that's the least of your problems if you are breathing it in). Also never hear of a FAE dud.

  • UnCivilServant||

    If the igniter doesn't trigger after dispersal, it's a dud.

  • Drake||

    But dropped on an urban area, there would have to be absolutely no open flame anywhere nearby for it to stay a dud. Not a candle, cigarette, or gas stove for a square kilometer. I'm skeptical.

  • UnCivilServant||

    I'm not saying this was, but also, if you get the wrong stoichiometric ratios of fuel to oxygen, it won't ignite, even with civilian flame sources.

    But I'm pretty sure whatever was lobbed at the town wasn't meant to go boom, just hiss or fizz.

  • Rasilio||

    Wouldn't matter, it is a timing thing.

    The ignition has to happen at an exact moment in time so that the fuel/air ratio is correct.

    Too early and you get incomplete combustion, too late and the initial ignition blows the cloud apart before most of the fuel can ignite

  • Scooby||

    From a DIA report (via the wikipedia page for thermobaric weapons):

    If the fuel deflagrates but does not detonate, victims will be severely burned and will probably also inhale the burning fuel. Since the most common FAE fuels, ethylene oxide and propylene oxide, are highly toxic, undetonated FAE should prove as lethal to personnel caught within the cloud as most chemical agents.

    Ethylene oxide is some pretty nasty stuff, as far as common industrial chemicals go.

  • John||

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....story.html

    Remember when that Cowboy Bush was excoriated for not listening to the military? Well, now it is different.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Yeah, keep telling yourself that Syria = Iraq.

    It will never be true.

  • John||

    You are right. Iraq was a legal war fought with both UN and Congressional approval and with the support of nearly all of our allies. Syria is illegal both domestically and internationally and doesn't have the support of a single ally.

    Your cult leader is now going to become a no kidding war criminal fighting an aggressive illegal war.

  • WTF||

    Your cult leader is now going to become a no kidding war criminal fighting an aggressive illegal war for the second time.

    FTFY

  • Juice||

    Iraq was a legal war fought with both UN and Congressional approval

    UN approval? Yeah not so much.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.....e_Iraq_War

  • Lord Humungus||

    those generals be racccist!

  • ant1sthenes||

    He's going to drag us into this bullshit because he can't admit he was full of shit. It isn't even about the scandals, it's just his fucking ego.

    The White House needs a Tyrion to slap some sense into the little shit.

  • Mike M.||

    Or a Trayvon for that matter.

  • ||

    America experiences canyon envy as one larger than the Grand Canyon was recently discovered under ice sheets in Greenland.

    You know who else hid a huge canyon under obscuring material?

  • ||

    Other than Epi's mom, people. Make an effort.

  • ||

    Thunderbirds?

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    The Fremen in Sietch Tabr?

  • Pro Libertate||

    What about the other Fremen? Huh? Everyone's always on about Stilgar and the other Fremen who got to hang out with Muad'Dib.

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    Get thee to Sietch Jacurutu!

  • Pro Libertate||

    Hey, I'm no water-stealer.

  • Rabban||

    Not yet.

  • WTF||

    Hillary Clinton?

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    There's more than just a canyon there...

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    Princess Di?

  • Cascadian Ephor Xenocles||

    John Galt?

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    Bravo. Well done.

  • sarcasmic||

    Blow-up clogs, Renaissance toast ... and Kevin Bacon: Vote reveals the 50 funniest one-liners ever

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....-ever.html

    I was originally going to post my favorite, but after reading the first twenty I gave up.

  • Rich||

    Those are *horrible*.

  • robc||

    I gave up after 8.

    I dont even get #1. Its probably obvious, but Im not seeing it.

  • sarcasmic||

    I don't get it either. Maybe it has something to do with plumbing?

  • Lord Humungus||

    I'm Dutch and even I don't get it. Dikes? Flooding caused the shoes to come off?

    Some British slang is probably involved.

  • ||

    "popped her clogs" is British slang for "died"

  • Lord Humungus||

    so 'I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.'

    becomes:

    'I met a Dutch girl, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she died.'

    It's kinda funny if you know the slang... but not that funny.

  • sarcasmic||

    'I met a hot Dutch janitor last week, phoned her up to arrange a date, but unfortunately she'd kicked the bucket.'

    'I met a hot Dutch real estate agent last week, phoned her up to arrange a date, but unfortunately she'd bought the farm.'

  • Cascadian Ephor Xenocles||

    It's almost certainly a spoonerism of some British slang or something, like the one here about the difference between a magician and a chorus line.

    That said, I have no idea what the actual joke is.

  • Cascadian Ephor Xenocles||

    I guess I could have just waited a minute.

  • ||

    what's the one about magicians and chorus lines?

  • Cascadian Ephor Xenocles||

    One has an array of cunning stunts...

  • WTF||

    What’s the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
    A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

  • Lord Humungus||

    I've read funnier lines in my collection of Mad Magazine books from the 60s.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    There are a couple of gems in there, but you're correct, most of them suck.

    Where there’s a will, there’s a relative - Ricky Gervais

    I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them - Steve Martin

    Problem for them is, the internet commentariat has so much more richness for insults and jokes.

  • ||

    The fact that it's quoting Blackadder IV (the worst one) and misses the best lines in it* is almost godlike in its incompetence

    * Always treat your kite like you treat your woman - get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back

    I'm beginning to see why the suffragette movement wants the vote

    Hey, any bird who wants to chain herself to my railings and suffer a jet movement gets my vote

  • Pro Libertate||

    I liked the fourth series. Then again, I may be descended from Lord Flashheart. We all may be.

  • ||

    I liked it (especially the end) but the lame similes ruined it

  • Pro Libertate||

    I'd be perfectly happy with a new series of the same quality.

    I'm not sure which season is my favorite. I kind of like the second, with Queenie and the gang, but the third had some great moments and, of course, more Hugh Laurie. The first had Brian Blessed, which is a good thing, too.

  • tarran||

    If you like Brian Blessed, watch Pirates, Band of Misfits.

    He does the voice of the Pirate King, and his performance kills!

  • Pro Libertate||

    I'm a big fan. It always annoys me when people dismiss scene-chewers liked Blessed without appreciating their talent. He's a joy to watch. His Exeter in Henry V was most excellent.

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    His Exeter KILLED - a model performance.

  • kinnath||

    You could take any Monty Python movie and pull out 50 better lines than this list.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please.

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    No you don't!

  • Pro Libertate||

    Yes I do!

  • ||

    An argument isn't just contradiction.

  • Pro Libertate||

    It can be.

  • ||

    He's right. You don't like to have an argument. You would like to have an argument.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, malodorous, pervert!!!

  • Auric Demonocles||

    What do you mean? Look how funny this Russell Brand one is:

    If your body is 90 per cent water why have you got to drink water all the time? Why can’t you just have some crisps?

    Wait, my bad. I forgot that funny does not mean "boring and stupid".

  • Pro Libertate||

    Lists are overdone in the first place, but I really hate lame ones. I mean, these aren't even remotely good, let alone "the best."

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Hey, lists can be cool. Like a list of the best Firefly: TNG episodes. Or a list of the ways that Voyager has 'left the solar system'.

  • Pro Libertate||

    You missed it yesterday when some news source discovered the panspermia theory. We could be descended from Martian life! I made a comment that maybe it came here after exiting the heliosphere first.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Maybe it got blasted out of the solar system, in the opposite direction that we are rotating around the galaxy, and we only got hit again 300 million years later in a gigantic coincidence.

    New idea, after Firefly: TNG starts to wind down, another spin off based on the Voyager idea of stranded far off in space, trying to get home. Even though it would just be them going through empty space between the nearest solar system and the main one for 60 years, it would still be more entertaining the Voyager. Plus: every episode is a bottle episode so it's super cheap to make (even before we factor in our slave labor).

  • Pro Libertate||

    I like the idea of a ship that thinks it's lost but really isn't. And we know all along. Schadenfreude comedy.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Kind of like Blast from the Past. In space.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Like they are just wandering around the verse, and pass right by Deadwood, but someone happens to have slipped some soup over the part of the sensors that would show that, and they don't look out the windows cause it's right towards the sun?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Soon, they're going to be announcing the discovery that the universe may have started from a singularity in some sort of, I dunno, large boom. Breaking news!

  • Auric Demonocles||

    It needs a catchy name. I am thinking "Enormous Explosion".

  • Pro Libertate||

    The Intense Orgasm. You know, of light.

  • ||

    The funny thing about that is the term "Big Bang" was originally intended as a pejorative to make fun of the theory.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Yep. Just goes to show that snark loses when confronted by reality.

  • JW||

    I'm thinking that "funniest" is another one of their weird UK slang and doesn't mean remotely the same thing as it does here.

    Seriously, I read halfway through and didn't laugh once.

  • Pro Libertate||

    The British are very cautious about jokes, ever since they used JMD in WWII.

  • JW||

    How else could they prevail over that nice Mr. Hitler?

  • Swiss Servator - past LTC(ret)||

    There were three peanuts walking down the strasse...und, one of these peanuts was....assaulted peanut!

    /V-joke

  • ||

    DON'T TALK ABOUT LUCY IN THE WAR.

  • paranoid android||

    You know, I had this friend once who had synesthesia.

    Yeah, when he heard me tell this joke, it really left a sour taste in his mouth.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    After further reflection, Obama will save us from from his administration.

    Resignation?

    If only.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I know I'm resigned.

  • John||

    http://pjmedia.com/blog/ca-crime-rates-spike/

    California crime rate goes up after easing prison overcrowding. Here is the thing with the drug war. Not everyone caught up in it is a nice guy. There are a lot of people who are otherwise criminals who get unlucky and go to jail for drugs. So, if we ended the drug war tomorrow and set all of the drug offenders free, crime would spike as the criminal element in that went back to being criminals on the outside. Eventually it would drop back down as those people were rearrested and convicted for other crimes and go back to jail. But ending the drug war will have some downsides. Libertarians do well to remember that and not make promises that won't be kept.

  • sarcasmic||

    Prohibition creates an environment where enterprising thugs can make tons of cash. As a general rule, honest and peaceful people don't go into a business where courts are not available to resolve disputes, meaning that disputes end up being resolved with violence. No. Enterprising thugs are attracted to that kind of business. I thought we learned that during alcohol Prohibition.

    So you're arguing against a straw man if you think libertarians believe all drug dealers are nice people.

  • John||

    No. I am saying they don't think through the consequences of that and thus don't realize or don't admit that setting all of the drug offenders free will result in higher crime at least initially.

  • sarcasmic||

    The overalls look good, and the handkerchief is a nice touch. I like the color.

  • tarran||

    I don't think I've met any serious thinkers who feel differently than you do, John,

    Of course, if we are ending drug prohibition, perhaps we can tackle fire-arms prohibition as well, to give people the tools to defend themselves from the criminal element and we winnow the wheat from the chaff. ;)

  • JW||

    A consequentialist view on rights. Nice. what could possibly go wrong?

    Any other rights to which we should be imposing a utilitarian metric?

  • Ken Shultz||

    There's no doubt that the drug war has increased the magnitude of the thuggery. There are lots of people out there who wouldn't be thugs right now--if it weren't for the drug war.

    They'd have to find some way to make it in regular society.

    I think I saw some of the results of de facto legalization in California by way of medical marijuana that nearly everyone can qualify for somehow when I was riding through Mendocino County several weeks ago.

    There seemed to be a lot of unemployed marijuana workers about. Ugly sight, when the marijuana growers have layoffs--it's kind of a scary place. I'm sure the thugs will eventually have layoffs, too. It's a good thing to stymie the growth, but, eventually, shot callers will start having one on ones that go something like, "Sorry cuz, but we just don't have the budget to keep you crippin' anymore."

    Society will have to find something to do with all those ex-thugs. There's gonna be some transitional problems with that--but then if Libertopia ever happens, we'll have to figure out what to do with all those ex-government employees, too. Nobody's gonna wanna hire them either.

  • John||

    A lot of thugs are going to be a lot poorer. A lot of really stupid people are no longer going to be able to make a good living selling drugs. It is funny to think about but there really will be some serious social dislocations with full legalization. If you are a violent thug with an IQ of 95, right now you can make a living selling drugs and going in and out of prison. What will such people do?

  • sarcasmic||

    This is why libertarians oppose minimum wage and occupational licensing among other things, because we would like stupid people and thugs to have an opportunity to do honest work. Which they currently cannot do because of government imposed restrictions on employment.

  • Ken Shultz||

    "Because we would like stupid people and thugs to have an opportunity to do honest work. Which they currently cannot do because of government imposed restrictions on employment."

    I've hired ex-thugs for their first chance at an honest job, and I've hired ex-government employees, too. Some of the ex-thugs actually worked out pretty well--some of them really responded to having their first real opportunity at an office job.

    The ex-government employees? I have no use for. Where do you put people who think a job is a place where you put in the time to get paid the money you're entitled to? You sure as hell can't put 'em in customer service. The only thing government employees have to offer is that they tend to be meticulous--but small shell scripts are meticulous, too! ...most of those government employees can be replaced with a shell script.

    I don't know what we do with the ex-government employees. Maybe we hire the ex-thugs their new supervisors! At least the ex-thugs often think like an entrepreneur.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    There's no doubt that the drug war has increased the magnitude of the thuggery. There are lots of people out there who wouldn't be thugs right now--if it weren't for the drug war.

    That's not the point.

    The point is that criminals are often sent to prison for drug violations instead of the violent crimes that they have committed because it is easier to do so.

    Which does not in any way mean that the drug war should not be ended. It means that the mass release of current prisoners, convicted of non violent crimes, will have the unintended consequence of releasing dangerous criminals.

    And you can be assured that the prison system will release violent offenders first in a type of Washington Monument Syndrome.

  • Ken Shultz||

    That's not the point.

    It is the point.

    And the point is that although ending the drug war might release violent criminals into society, keeping the drug war going is creating more violent criminals than there would be otherwise.

    If we want to make a safer society, then we need to stop creating more violent criminals at an artificially inflated rate--and that's what the drug war does.

    If you want to make it easier for excons who were convicted of non-violent offense to make it in society without resorting to violence, then the solution is to do things like expunge non-violent offenses from their records so employers won't discriminate so heavily against them. The solution is not to keep going with the drug war.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Obama Refused to Send Gas Masks to Syrian Opposition for Over a Year

    The Obama administration has refused to send gas masks and other chemical-weapons protection gear to Syrian opposition groups, despite numerous requests dating back more than a year and until the reported chemical-weapons attack that struck the Damascus suburbs August 21.
  • CatoTheElder||

    From the article:
    "the White House did review the issue last year and determined it wouldn’t provide any gas masks or other chemical-weapons protective gear to the Syria opposition because of fears the equipment could get into the wrong hands."

    Perhaps there was some evidence that the rebels had access to poisonous gas. Gas masks are not just used for defense.

  • Lord Humungus||

    The Onion turns 25:

    Area Man Realizes He's Been Reading Fake News For 25 Years

    Before Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert became establishments in news satire, there was The Onion. Thursday, "America's Finest News Source" turns 25.

    Two college students founded the fake news organization, which began as a newspaper in Madison, Wis. "It really started as something very local that was intended mainly to ... sell pizza coupons," Editor-in-Chief Will Tracy tells Morning Edition host Renee Montagne..
  • robc||

    My favorite onion bit comes from the print edition when I was living in Madison.

    The headline banner said "Smells like Splattered Brains" the week after Cobaine died.

  • sarcasmic||

    That's funny. Morbid but funny.

  • db||

    My favorite column was the "Cristopher Wallen on Hot Dogs" one.

  • BiMonSciFiCon||

    "Man Walks on Fucking Moon."
    "Holy Fucking Shit."

  • Scooby||

    "Black Guy Asks Nation For Change"

  • Lord Humungus||

    Kittiehs!

    Kittens Force Partial Closure Of NYC Subway

    Two subway lines in Brooklyn were shut down on Thursday when transit workers saw two tiny kittens on the track. Supervisors and transit police joined the pursuit but it took almost two hours of cat herding to catch the kitties and clear the tracks.
  • Auric Demonocles||

    Closing down multiple subway lines for two hours? Seems legit.

  • WTF||

    So it really is difficult to herd cats.

  • UnCivilServant||

    Good thing they weren't dogs, They'd have sent the NYPD in...

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Starbucks Fires Employee on Food Stamps for Eating a Sandwich from the Garbage

    Loptmann, who says he couldn’t get enough hours to pay his bills and survives partly on his food stamps, explains, “I hadn’t eaten all day and I was on a seven-hour shift.” A coworker had just marked some breakfast sandwiches out of stock, and he figured no one would mind if he grabbed one of the plastic-wrapped sausage sandwiches out of the trash can.

    But Starbucks did mind. According to Loptmann, his manager sat him down a week later and told him she’d found out about the sandwich and contacted HR, “and they consider it stealing, and it’s against policy. So I’m sorry, but I have to terminate you.” She fired him on the spot.

    Oh, no! Evil Starbucks, how could you! The store representative says they don't consider it stealing, it's a health issue, and besides, they would never fire an employee for just one minor infraction. But how could that be, when Loptmann claims to have been a model employee?
    (more)

  • Fatty Bolger||

    (cont)

    Loptmann had been hired in 2012 as a close-to-full-time employee, he says, but after a couple of months, his hours started disappearing. Soon he was working anywhere between 23 and 32 hours a week, for $9.94 an hour plus about $30 a week in tips, with a schedule he calls “extremely variable.” Even if he was scheduled, he could still be sent home if the store got slow.

    Everybody who has worked retail knows that this is how they get rid of shitty employees. Shrink their hours, and start giving them the shit end of the schedule.

    Fully grown able bodied men on fucking food stamps. I never thought I'd live to see the day.

    These idiots act like they're the first who ever had to scrape to get by. Do what we did, find some more roommates, get a second job, and if that doesn't do it, maybe you just can't afford to live in the city.

  • Pro Libertate||

    A lot of welfare has become about supplementing the incomes of people who are healthy, young, and able to work. Explain why the fuck that's a good idea, when it has the obvious effect of reducing their incentives to do better. On top of the whole issue of redistribution of wealth by force being an evil in itself.

  • Rasilio||

    It really is kinda sad.

    I guy I recently met is my age (43) and has worked his entire life in retail, not management, just retail. Currently he works at game stop for just above minimum wage.

    The thing is he even has a degree in computer science, claims that when he graduated in 89 the only jobs were word processing jobs and he has a physical disability that prevented that kind of typing (true, he had cancer when he was a teen and came out of it with some life long physical issues).

    Now, he lives with his mom, makes pretty much minimum wage, doesn't drive or own a car, and spends all his free time playing Dungeons and Dragons or Computer games.

    Now on the one hand that's what makes him happy so good on him, but dammit our tax dollars should not be supporting people like that (which as far as I know they are not, but they would be if he wasn't still living with his mom).

  • Pro Libertate||

    As a libertarian, I'm opposed to government welfare, but I'm not opposed to private charity. And , even with government welfare, if it weren't for the slippery slope it seems to rest on, it's one thing to temporarily help out people with real disabilities. It's another to supplement incomes for people who are poor, but not egregiously so, so that they can buy iPhones or whatever.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Why would you go into computer science if you aren't able to type?

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Presumably he could type, just not spend all day doing it.

    His story about not being able to find a job is bullshit. By the time he graduated the PC revolution was in full swing, and young people with CS degrees were in short supply. (The general consensus in the 80's was that computers were a dead end as a career, with nothing but layoffs in sight, so degree seekers were strongly discouraged.) And even if he did have a hard time in 1989, a few years later they would be beating down his door if he showed any interest.

  • Rasilio||

    This.

    He can type, just not 90+ WPM 7.5 hours a day as was expected for word processing positions back then.

    Ultimately I don't buy his story about not being able to find work. Even 5 years later people were desperate for IT workers and with a degree he'd have been able to find something if he tried at all.

    He is where he is totally because of his choices, and he generally seems comfortable with that. I'm fine with this and as far as I know he is not on public assistance of any sort (but then I havn't delved into the issue with him either) but there are hundreds of thousands of others who are in the exact same situation who either are receiving government benefits or are claiming they need them

  • RBS||

    They never think about getting a second job.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Look, my generation wasn't hardened by working in the fields, but I worked two jobs more than once to help pay for college. And I had a number of friends who didn't go to school who were doing the same thing. It's just something you have to do when you're young and unskilled and need more money.

  • WTF||

    Do what we did, find some more roommates, get a second job, and if that doesn't do it, maybe you just can't afford to live in the city.

    No, no, we must use the government to force Starbucks to pay him $15/hr. with benefits and give him 40 hrs/week. It's the only fair thing to do.

  • Ken Shultz||

    The other thing is...

    There are only two ways to leave a job. Either you jump off the ledge, or you get pushed. ...and too many people just hang on to the ledge--no matter what.

    I once worked at a hospital where we transitioned from a regular acute care hospital to a full lock down mental hospital. Just about everybody got laid off--except me. I remember thinking how lucky I was and how sorry I felt for all the people who lost their jobs.

    Within a few months, all the people who were worth keeping had found new jobs at better pay; i.e., the people who lost their jobs were the lucky ones! Maybe Starbucks was the totality of this guy's aspirations, but if it wasn't? Then he may be much better off for having been pushed off the ledge.

    The worst thing that can happen to a lot of people is getting too comfortable at a low end job. They start to cling to it, and that can be a lot more destructive to your life than marijuana and large servings of sugary sodas, that's for sure.

  • John||

    http://www.theatlantic.com/pol.....ns/279111/

    Only 1/3rd of Senators pay interns, all of them Republicans. The great thing about being a prog is that you never have to live by any of your convictions. Supporting the government forcing other people to do the right thing alleviates any need for you to worry about your own behavior.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    But businesses are just in to greedily make money, so they should share those evil profits with the people who do the work. Political groups are in it for noble purposes, so the interns are already getting their reward by living in a better world where more Democrats are in power.

  • WTF||

    This is probably what the left really believes.

  • John||

    That is totally what they believe. And it is one of the main attractions to liberalism. It is a religion that doesn't require any sacrifice. All you have to do is believe and support the cause. How you personally live is never an issue.

  • robc||

    all of them Republicans

    ALL?

    Ummm...maybe actually read your fucking posts?

    Mostly GOP, but far from all.

    For example, both Independents pay.

    And nine Ds. 21 Rs.

  • John||

    I just wanted to give you something to bitch and moan about Rob. You can thank me later.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    You're a liar is what you meant to say.

  • John||

    Ah, someone is butt hurt. Our little shit throwing monkey is really having a bad day with having to defend Obama's illegal wars and all.

  • WTF||

    Oh, this is just too rich!

  • mad libertarian guy||

    Anti-government rage of the day . . .

    So my wife went to renew her car registration and was thwarted for reasons unbeknownst to her and she had actual, productive things to do so sent me to see if I could straighten it out so she didn't have to take any more time out of her work day to fuck with the incompetent fuckers at the DMV.

    So I went this morning and discovered that the reason she couldn't renew was because her registration had been canceled due to the VIN not matching between our insurance and the state's database. It turns out that the fine people at the Commonwealth of Kentucky's DMV in Frankfort fucked up when typing in the VIN when they switched database systems sometime in the last year and entered the wrong number and so they had no record of our car being insured. The cure? I need to bring my title in to the local clerk's office so that they can fix their fuckup, which means that in order to get a tag renewal, a generally easy process that should take no more than a few minutes, I'll have to go back to the clerk's office for a 3rd time and do all of the legwork for some low level, unaccountable bureaucrat's fuckup, taking up over 2 hours of my goddamn time (and I'll add that waiting at the clerk's office with a 2 year old fucking sucks). I also had to pay extra for having my insurance company fax proof that my car was indeed insured despite having a valid insurance card on my person. That one wasn't good enough.

  • John||

    Another example where insurance can and should take the place of government. Mandatory liability insurance ended the need for state driver's licenses. Let the insurance companies decide who is a risk worth insuring.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I had to go back twice to the one here in Mass when I first moved here because my car title has "Auric Demonocles OR Auric Demonocles' Dad" listed as the owner, and they objected to the fact that my proof of insurance only had my name on it.

  • Rasilio||

    Lol I just moved back to Mass after being away for 16 years.

    They are not letting me renew my license because supposedly I have unpaid excise taxes and parking tickets from 16+ years ago.

    Even worse, I have to go to each of the 3 towns involved to resolve the issues and then I can go back to the registry to maybe finally get a Ma drivers license.

    The parking tickets are probably accurate as they would be my ex wifes and it is just like her to have gotten them and then ignored them and not told me about them but since the vehicle was registered to both of us I'm going to have to pay.

    The excise tax I'm betting is for the year AFTER I left the state but after 16 years how the hell do I prove I don't ow the bill because I didn't live here any longer.

  • Zeb||

    No statute of limitations for parking tickets?
    God, Mass sucks.

  • tarran||

    The mass economy is teetering on the edge of implosion, while Romney care sucks money out of the coffers of the state.

    The low level tax revolt Carla howell is running has prevented them from raising taxes, so they are going after every cent they are 'owed' in a bid to keep income up.

  • Ruckus||

    Had the same low level clerical error happen to me once before over state income taxes. I had to paper file for some reason I can't remember. I was expecting a small refund ~$100, but instead got a bill for over $1,500 6-8 weeks later. After hours of phone calls, emails, etc I finally got someone on the phone who acknowledged that somehow several columns from my W-2 were transposed or incorrectly entered. I got my check sometime, which was about 5-6 months after I filed.

    Of course when I asked for interest on my refund based on a delay that was entirely their fault, they laughed in my face.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Of course when I asked for interest on my refund based on a delay that was entirely their fault, they laughed in my face.

    Yet they demand interest from me when they take 2 years to say I owe money, including when it takes them literally a month to respond to a letter I sent with "We received your letter dated [a month ago]. We will review it soon."

  • Cascadian Ephor Xenocles||

    I moved out of Maryland and changed the registration. Maryland fined me $2,000 for not having insurance for two years, starting a week before I bought the car. This was a surprise to me and to my insurance company, which to their credit sorted it all out.

  • Ruckus||

    Yep.

    I seem to remember that was part of my process as well. Something about a letter at some point that was basically:

    "Look shithead. If you don't go ahead and give us the money we say you owe us in the next 60 days, then we'll be forced to start adding interest to your amount. We know you are going through a review/protest process right now, but c'mon we both know you are just stalling. In our opinion, it's in your best interest to go ahead and pay it, you worthless bum."

  • Ted S.||

    If any private sector business tried these tactics, state AGs would be screaming to high heaven and engaging in all sorts of grandstanding on the local nightly news.

    Sure there's no double standard.

  • robc||

    Im off to renew my registration.

    Hopefully I will be back soon.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    See you in October!

  • JW||

    Mine expire this month as well and in spite of planning to renew online weeks ago, I forgot.

    So, I was girding myself to go waste half of my day at the DMV, like last time, when I noticed that the state will let you print out a temporary registration that you can place in your back window, until the sticker arrives,

    I was gobsmacked that the MD DMV actually did something smart for once.

  • ||

    Here in NSW they got rid of rego stickers and let you renew online. As if it's the 21st century or something

  • robc||

    We can renew online, then they mail you the sticker.

    And even that is new.

    I discovered it while waiting in line. I was #74 and they were at #63 when I got there, so not too bad a wait.

    However, the fuckers moved the clerks office on me. I can get to the government center via backroads thru my neighborhood, but they moved the clerks office out of it and across US-60.

    So next year, when I have to renew my license, it will take two trips, because the license renewal is still in the government center.

  • mr simple||

    I was there yesterday renewing. That's the worst shopping center I've ever seen trying to get in and out of.

  • Brett L||

    We still have stickers they mail to us in FL. They're so smart, they tag on a $6.00 "convenience fee" for me not standing in line, which I gladly pay.

  • robc||

    Our convenience fee is less than that, but still why I went to the clerks office.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    The worst part is that, having had her registration canceled (and not having been notified by the state that something was amiss), had she been pulled over at any point in the last 4 months my wife would have been in a world of hurt. Her plate would have been taken, her car impounded, and all manner of legal proceedings would have to have been engaged to get her out of trouble that was completely the fault of someone else who will never be held accountable for making an error that would cost us shit loads of time, hassle, and treasure.

    If, as Obama likes to tell at every opportunity, the state is a cross section of the best ad brightest we have to offer, we. are. fucked.

  • Brett L||

    Florida Man, living the dream.

    A Florida man busted with drugs was also caught having sex in his car with his stepdaughter, police say.

  • Lord Humungus||

    So just a normal Sunday in Florida?

  • Brett L||

    Also, I don't know what the male to female ratio is for teachers, but HuffPo could only find 3 dudes to put in their "student-teacher affair" slideshow at the bottom of this article.

  • tarran||

    Following the links from that story, we get this jem:

    Rachelle Gendron, Sex Ed. Teacher, Charged With Rape Of 14-Year-Old Student

    Rachelle Gendron, 27, was fired from her job at North Central Charter Essential School in Fitchburg following an investigation in which police allegedly recovered "significant" evidence of inappropriate conduct, including text messages and photos of the teacher "in various states of undress with genitals and breasts exposed," from the phone of a 14-year-old male student.

    My sex ed teacher was a middle aged dude with a paunch. :(

  • JW||

    Mine was this stunningly hot, darkish-skinned woman of unknown ethnicity. I took sex ed for all 3 years of high school.

  • tarran||

    My German 101 teacher in college was this gorgeous Polish girl, who spoke only broken English and so ran the class in German. The males in the class had a much higher average than the females, because we... paid.... attention!

  • Jumbie||

    Are we having football pickem this year? Anybody?

  • Lord Humungus||

    I have the feeling that the Browns will let someone down one last time.

  • Jumbie||

    Not me. Cuz I never bank on them.

    Oh wait, but if I pick em to lose and they WIN, that means they let me down, doesn't it?!

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Win? Don't go crazy. If they let you down, it will be with a tie.

    And I dunno. No word from sloopy lately. But there's less than a week till kickoff!

  • Jumbie||

    I went ahead and created a group. Sloopy can jump in when he gets non-baby time.

    http://football.fantasysports......ckem/45865

  • Jumbie||

    Password: postrel4eva

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I'm in. Make sure to promote in the AM/PM Links.

  • Sevo||

    OK, I checked the thread.
    CA city fucks with banks, banks say 'keep your paper':
    "Eminent domain plan may have spooked investors"
    "Just days after Richmond became the first city in the country to use the threat of eminent domain to obtain underwater mortgages, Wall Street spurned its efforts to refinance its highly rated municipal bonds, an unusual snub that cost the city nearly $4 million in lost savings."
    http://www.sfgate.com/realesta.....773720.php

  • Ken Shultz||

    Some people find it hard to believe that putting toxic assets on your books makes you less attractive to underwriters!

    ...and apparently some of those people can be found in Richmond.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    Some people find it hard to believe that putting toxic assets on your books makes you less attractive to underwriters!

    Clearly it's racism.

  • Sevo||

    "...and apparently some of those people can be found in Richmond"

    Elected by the people!

  • ant1sthenes||

    Way to put a smile on my face.

  • CampingInYourPark||

    August 30, 2013 - Rebels Admit Responsibility for Chemical Weapons Attack - Militants tell AP reporter they mishandled Saudi-supplied chemical weapons, causing accident

    Syrian rebels in the Damascus suburb of Ghouta have admitted to Associated Press journalist Dale Gavlak that they were responsible for last week’s chemical weapons incident which western powers have blamed on Bashar Al-Assad’s forces, revealing that the casualties were the result of an accident caused by rebels mishandling chemical weapons provided to them by Saudi Arabia.

    The site referenced to in the article is down. Needless to say this source is a little dubious.

    http://iranian.com/posts/view/.....ment-32322

  • CatoTheElder||

    The original dubious source:

    http://www.mintpressnews.com/w.....ns/168135/

    Another dubious source:

    http://voiceofrussia.com/news/.....?from=menu

    and, of course, it's on infowars.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Even if he was scheduled, he could still be sent home if the store got slow.

    Poor little Starbucks guy. He's probably not even a barista, just a busboy. Guess what, dumbasses, if you think Starbucks/McDees/Wendy's doesn't want to pay you to stand around with a dumb look on your face waiting for a single customer to wander in at two o'clock in the afternoon, just wait 'til you "win" that big boost in the minimum wage.

  • Fluffy||

    But Starbucks did mind. According to Loptmann, his manager sat him down a week later and told him she’d found out about the sandwich and contacted HR, “and they consider it stealing, and it’s against policy. So I’m sorry, but I have to terminate you.” She fired him on the spot.

    The reason not to let employees take stuff from the garbage is because doing that creates an incentive for employees to create a lot of waste.

    "You can take anything we can't sell" as a policy gives your employees a huge incentive to spoil batches, make too much, "misplace" stuff until its sell-by date, etc.

    Any moron should know this.

  • Pro Libertate||

    When I worked at Subway in college, they tracked the waste just as much as the food we served. Of course, back then, we got free food, with the limits being solely on the bread or salad tray. So quadruple meat was just fine.

  • Fluffy||

    Letting employees eat during their shift is significantly different from letting them help themselves to "trash".

    There's a limit to what the employee can eat during his break.

    But if you let them take stuff from the dumpster, at least one of them will pull up to the dumpster with a pickup truck.

  • Pro Libertate||

    My point was that we had to keep track of the bread we burned, dropped on the ground, etc. I assume too much wastage, even if accidental, would've resulted in some sort of management action.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Huh. I never realized that Subway was the first restaurant to ever open.

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